what to do when a work relationship changes.

[kally]

In a nutshell, I started a project with a friend. I think we are now frustrated with each other. How do you know when it is time to call it quits. The project could go on with either of us running it, but I am feeling like I want to bale.

Have you ever worked with a friend? Have you ever given up the work?

Feedback please?

[Songbird]

Have a sit down totally honest conversation with each other about how you are both feeling about the project at this point. Then proceed from there, but don't just bale on your friend....

[kally]

thanks songbird, I think we already had that conversation. We can both just go on doing the work and making the money, but the dynamics have changed a lot (at least for me)

[Songbird]

Then tell your friend that the dynamics have changed a lot for you....that's what having a totally honest conversation means. ;)

[razz]

Often friends do not plan a dissolution clause in a partnership and then if becomes difficult. Can you talk about developing one with your friend and see where it leads?

[JaneV2.0]

Always follow your instincts. (But I agree that you need to exit gracefully; don't leave your friend holding the bag.)

[kally]

I am working on my graceful exit. I think I have it.
It focuses on how the project has changed and the partner is really ready to take it in his own direction and is so ready to do that. I bow out and say that it has been a good time and he is well able to go forward and good luck.

High road all the way.

[SteveinMN]

I am working on my graceful exit. I think I have it.
Keep in mind, however, that there is/was a friendship relationship here. IMHO it would be smart/good to address that openly, as well. Don't leave the "I'm bowing out" conversation without both of you at least stating how you see the friendship going forward. Don't guess.

[kally]

good point Steve, what wording would you suggest?

[SteveinMN]

Well, once you determine your intention for the friendship, state that simply. "[The project] has changed. You're really ready to take it in your own direction -- so ready to do that. I'm going to bow out. It has been a good time. You're well able to go forward. Good luck with this. Now, about our friendship: I value the time we've spent together and want to continue to be friends. I think it can work to do things together outside of [the project]. What do you think? Maybe lunch next Wednesday?"

That's what comes off the top of my head. I am hopeful others have additional suggestions.

[Rachel]

I usually agree with Steve and I don't think his advice is "wrong," but I do have a slightly different take. I've had this situation happen in various permutations in my work life--twice that I can recall. In both instances I bowed out with similar wording, but did not address the friendship issue directly. I just left it open, gave the person some space for a while, (gave myself some space too), then when an opportunity came up later (I believe some weeks later in one case, a little over a month later in the other case) to do something together invited the person to get together to attend the event with me. In both situations the friendship resumed very pleasantly from there. Just a thought.

[SteveinMN]

Rachel, that's a fine approach, too. All depends on the other person, about whom we know little. OP will have to do a little "sightreading". :-)