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View Full Version : effect of meditation/mindfulness practice.



Zoe Girl
3-10-15, 10:08pm
hey all, i waffled on whether to put this here or in the work area. well it is here. i had a horrific depression week last week, i had the 2 days of intense craving for smoking and then just flatness. if you have been there you know the black hole. i was able to practice (meditation) only a tiny bit during this. then about sunday it started to lift, i have a group on sunday over the phone and an in person group on monday night.

so today i had my meeting with my supervisor. last meeting i heard i was rated medium/low about halfway throughout the year of the goal process. she said clearly that i work really really hard, but that i need to work smarter instead of harder. i don't always know what that means, however i did have a less of a reaction to all of this! i did not obsess (yeah, i am so good at obsessing) over it. i am working on taking this in stride, realizing that being all meditative and zen like does not mean that i will magically be seen as wonderful in all areas, do an amazing job at work all days, and have that show up.

so it is good to have some improvement, i think it may be related to the depression which often precedes a little breakthrough

ApatheticNoMore
3-10-15, 10:40pm
Seems you should be able to ask what "work smarter not harder" means. I mean a cliché is not substantive criticism (if they have a point to make about how you can improve they are doing a poor job of communicating it. Of course if they're playing some game of faultfinding and blaming that's a different matter and of course a bad sign. But if they have real areas you should improve in it seems you should seek clarity).

Zoe Girl
3-10-15, 10:52pm
thank you ANM, i overall feel like i am not getting specifics beyond saying that my registration and attendance numbers are low. i know that, i have been working on it the last 2 years, i have consistent improvement but basically it is baby steps at my site. i even put in more family night events to boost monthly numbers.

they want me to visit another site with higher numbers and a similar school size. i asked what i was looking for there and the response was her programs are engaging and fun for the kids. i have some similar programs and my school has not had the same attendance. one important thing is that her childcare program has double my enrollment, however she has more grant funding so the families pay $50 a semester!! mine pay up to $250 a month, kinda a no-brainer in that part. besides that my school has high competition for after school time with kids in several ways. it just feels like i explain those and the next meeting i hear the same exact thing, numbers are low.

i had to sign a paper today as basically a warning, everyone had to sign it, it was snack overages (don't laugh okay) it is a serious issue because snack overages can cost us a lot of money. well my snack is usually served 95% with only a 5% overage but i signed the same warning paper as all the other sites. i showed my supervisor the personal records i keep on snack overages monthly because we have not been given any of that feedback so far this year. i doubt she knew what my snack overage numbers were. maybe that will help my rating, but if you have to argue for your rating then you could get marked down for uncooperative behavior,

Valley
3-10-15, 11:12pm
I have found over the years that people that who hear "you need to work smarter not harder" often lack basic organization skills and the ability to prioritize tasks. I know that is how I meant it when I evaluated the staff members I worked with over the years. But, I always tried to give some concrete explanations of what I meant. With a teacher it could be something as important as spending less time decorating her room and more time interacting with the children, or as simple as getting the classroom set up in enough time to use the bathroom before class begins. With a teacher's assistant, I might suggest cutting out shapes for a future project during story time rather than snack time when drinks are spilling and children are passing out snacks. Something I had to learn myself was that not every task is equally important in running a center. As a normal human being I tend to rate the tasks I like to do as the most important tasks. Some people always seem harried and busy, but at the same time aren't getting anything accomplished. Sort of like a dog chasing his tail...he ends up exhausted, but that's about all he accomplishes. I would ask for some specific examples of what your supervisor is referring to in her comment. The more you know about your work style, the better you can do your job! It took me a long time to totally understand this concept. Good luck!

Valley
3-10-15, 11:15pm
Zoe Girl I didn't see you post above mine before I posted. Maybe I'm totally off on your supervisor's comment and what it means.

Zoe Girl
3-10-15, 11:43pm
valley that is still valid, i think i do pretty well in that however it is a good list to check off since i always have room to work. my frustration is that i am hitting all the deadlines on the 'invisible work', the stuff that only comes up when you don't do it but there is no reply when you turn it in. i have brought that up a couple times and some people are getting better about a quick 'thanks got it' email.

one clear piece of feedback i have had is that i need to cut out clubs with low enrollment and attendance. there are a couple classes like this, one is yearbook. yes it is small but is serving a school function and is naturally small. Another is a federally funded tutoring program, we are required to follow through on that even with low numbers. i know they want me to not get so involved in that but i am seeing such growth and excitement from the kids when i come in 20 minutes a session to read with them and check in. i am collecting some data around that to support my involvement. when i didn't have quite enough staff to put in the number of classes i wanted i started teaching one a week myself on a typically slow day. i really enjoy working directly with the kids and have expressed that. so it is perceived as something i do to fulfill my own needs rather than a creative way to keep the number of classes high while short staffed. i just hired an assistant so they don't want me to teach a class anymore, however hand sewing with 5 and 6 year olds is not anything i can pass off. i am getting better about cutting out small classes, i just asked if i can fire the boy scout program we pay for. they pretty much suck.

okay totally funny thing, my past supervisor who is still a partial supervisor in our structure has a masters in organizational management. one year at our wrap up going into summer i asked her about priorities, the workload was large and so i wanted some help from her in setting those priorities. her answer was that everything was equally important and i simply needed to get it done. that just led back to trying really hard to get it all done and then hoping no one checked on the thing you put on the bottom of the list. i honestly was asking for help to improve.

Tammy
3-11-15, 12:59am
Nurses are routinely overworked, with rarely enough time to do everything right and completely. Sometimes even more so in psychiatric nursing, which often gets less attention and resources. What I've experienced for almost 20 years is what you are seeing in education: do it all, do it cheaper, do it faster, don't ask for details on how, just get it done.

My approach is to focus on whatever the bosses are focused on. And when change focus I follow them, and slack on the things that were important before but no longer are. I always do enough in every area to be legal and ethical, but I've learned where to cut corners based on the current focus in leadership.

We in the human services world are often asked to do impossible things.

Zoe Girl
3-11-15, 4:55am
tammy, i know that with nurses, it is terrible that we treat the people who care for our bodies and for our children like this. i wanted a teaching job for a very long time and i think i am over it. i would still totally take it but after pushing for so long i am not willing to do that with the work load i see on teachers.

i am having a partial insomnia night, like you said what are the bosses focusing on has been on my mind. i work on a lot of committees and that seems to be good but i also see that the bottom line is a set of numbers i can't seem to increase enough. i do not go with the flow easily! i am asking a lot of questions and pushing back when it is not clear because i feel i was too independent last summer program and so i want to be super clear as we plan for this summer. i am trying not to loop back to other job issues, i had a counselor during a really bad job who just kept telling me to change, i was told that in high school and other stretches of time. So if there is a place where i am appreciated i would love to work there, and i hope there is a place like that. so chilling out and accepting that my best work according to me just might not be seen that way.