so if there is a year to live

[Zoe Girl]

could a personal 'a year to get fired' work? i find so much of my suffering is around work and thinking that it is being seen as pretty negative. i was thinking that i was wrong and paranoid but maybe not. So i have spent my sick time watching and listening to buddhist stuff, i wonder if i go to work as if my job could be simply gone tomorrow if that would be an interesting exercise? this is different than working hard towards getting a new job/career and different than trying to push harder to do a better job, hmmm. i see my teacher tomorrow night so i can check in

[JaneV2.0]

I spent the bulk of thirty years languishing in work that didn't suit me. Every Sunday found me dreading the next day. I got the gold ring in that I was able to escape with a pension at a relatively young age, but I wouldn't recommend that path, really. I know you're stuck with loans and the need to make a decent living; I hope it's worth it in the end.

[Zoe Girl]

there are so many things that i actually love about my work. i have probably an unrealistic idea of what i can get out of work, i really don't' want to get out of work, i just am looking at a way to change my relationship to work. Does that make sense?

[JaneV2.0]

I suppose. I had a cousin who used to say, for example, "I have to go to bed early, I have to get up and go to fun tomorrow." I'm pretty sure she didn't fool anyone, especially not herself, but it was OK--she got fired from that job for being annoyingly pregnant. Fortunately, she was married and didn't have to support herself for the duration. The mind is a wonderful thing, so maybe you can pull it off, but it seems to me your depression is trying to tell you something.

[Zoe Girl]

the most important thing here is that looking towards quitting a job, looking towards a lot of things, means i am not here now. So that is changing my relationship with my job, being present in my job and in all times. No matter what work i do, i need to work on the part of the issue that is me and not the job.

[JaneV2.0]

Well, sure. Obsessing about potential future disasters is likely a waste of time, and usually counterproductive.