On Being The Overly Responsible Type

[SiouzQ.]

Work is driving me crazy, once again. Probably magnified by the fact that my almost month-long vacation is coming up and I am SO ready to bust loose from the incredible grind my job at Wholefoods has become.

I am NOT a supervisor, I am NOT a supervisor, I am NOT a supervisor, nor do I wish to be one in the future, EVER! I have to constantly tell myself to stop acting like a supervisor, because I believe some people there are taking advantage of that, and taking advantage of my work ethic. I work very hard, I do the job correctly to the best of my abilities, and I get my shift duties done before I leave for the day. I go above and beyond (which is a Wholefoods "motto") Well, it goes without saying, I work with a bunch of slackers who are happy to let me work so hard and keep everything together so they can find ways to look like they are working when they really don't do jack sh**. Well, see how they like it when I am gone for so long. Actually, I don't think anyone will really care, because I know some don't like me much anyway because it seems like I am constantly calling them out (privately to the team leaders) for one thing or another that they are not doing. I even had to go to an assistant team leader the other day because our newest supervisor IS NOT DOING HER JOB, which is to supervise and lead the front counter. In reality, I am the one doing it...she is getting paid more than I am, and I find myself doing her job...

I just HAVE to figure out how to get through the next two weeks without being so angry at it all, and without stepping in and taking responsibility for things that are not my responsibility. I have an ingrained work ethic that demands that I do my job well (maybe because I was trained as a competitive figure skater, and held to very exacting standards). I HAVE to realize most people are not like me, especially many who end up working in my particular department. I HAVE to let this stuff go, and I am really having a hard time with it.

In trying to think of ways to deal with it in the next few days, I have decided that I will have a talk with my team leader and assistant team leaders, all of whom I somewhat still like and trust, just to let them know how frustrated I am with some of the team members I have to work with on a daily basis (not that I haven't done that already - but nothing ever really changes). The trouble is, no one is really held accountable for anything and no one really cares. So why should I care so much, is what I keep asking myself? As long as I know I am doing a good job and holding myself to my standards, shouldn't that be enough for me? I really really need to just mind my own business and block everything out, but I guess I am somewhat of an idealist and inherently believe everyone should be like me and care about what they do at work...

Are there other methods any of you can think of to try to detach from it all and just punch in, do the job, and leave for the day without bringing it home? I am in a particularly bad spell of doing just that, and combined with menopausal insomnia and funky sleep/wake patterns, plus a lot of clouds and rain, I am not feeling very happy and excited with the build up to the big trip. TWO MORE WEEKS and I am gone on my adventure. I worry that after a month off that I will realize that I don't want to continue working for WF going forward...I have entertained the thought of at least switching departments, or working in another position where I am more self-directed. We'll see...>:(

[pinkytoe]

DH struggles with this as a regional sales manager for a local chain. He has that work ethic too and often finds himself doing the work of hourly staff just to get it done. Management at store level isn't much better. It seems that when employees don't feel any stake/ownership in what they are doing other than a paycheck, this behavior is status quo for corporate retail. The present generation of a certain ilk are not very motivated either and are conditioned to instant rather than delayed gratification. It is the extracurricular stuff you like to think about that keeps you afloat. Hobbies. Future plans. And perhaps some meditation or glass of red wine at the end of a long day. Seems like with your artistic background, you could make a vertical move to something more creative - merchandising, signage, etc. Perhaps a different city in the region you like to travel to?

[catherine]

I tend to fit this category. I was sitting at a meeting once with multi-functional department heads, and my department head was asking if we should set limits on a particular task we were responsible for, and I said, "I'll do anything," (I wasn't bragging, I was offering). And she said out loud, in the meeting, "That's the problem." And this was my manager! I was setting the bar too high for the whole department. At that point, she was unable to set the right expectations for the group.

So, when I need to consider my role vs what my limits should be, it helps me to think of the managers I respect (like the one I just mentioned) who say NO and no one has a problem with that. They still respect her, value her, they don't interpret NO as "you're uncooperative"--they just take it as a simple "no." When I can keep images of these managers in my mind, it's easier for me to follow their lead, rather than my own proclivity to over-perform.

[Radicchio]

Mea culpa. Some years ago, when moving, I requested letters of recommendation from some of my clients that I could show to prospective clients, as well as provide their contact information if they wanted to know more. One of my clients wrote: "This is a person of great integrity who could probably charge more for less. Fortunately for her clients, she is incapable of cutting corners." So I guess I'm not the best businesswoman if the ultimate goal is to make a big profit (LOL)!! But being recognized as "a person of great integrity" is even greater compensation to me.

So I suspect you can't change that aspect of your character either and I hope you realize what a wonderful and valuable person you are because of it. At the same time, I certainly understand that you don't want to continue to be taken advantage of by coworkers. Perhaps during your vacation time you can take a few moments to consider how you can maintain your personal standards and not be pulled into others' issues. Personally, I think I would go to the team leader and assistant team leader when returning from vacation and tell them that you have had some time to reflect on the work situation and that you intend to go on carrying out your responsibilities to the highest standards possible, but that you will NOT continue to feel responsible for the work ethics or production of others in your department---that you realize that is not your job. You will give 100% to your job each day, but only YOUR job. You realize that it's not doing anyone any favors to try to do others' work for them.

Of course, I don't work where you do so I don't know if this is feasible or if you can bring yourself to hold back from making up for others' lack of diligence.

I hope that you see from the responses so far that there are others who struggle with the same issues and we appreciate the position you are in. I hope you get a much needed break on your vacation and get some resolution on the job as well..

[kib]

This did go against my grain but keep me sane when I worked for a big law firm. While "slackers" weren't really an issue, idiotic protocols were, and I was constantly itching to do things differently or make suggestions about how to fix their process - not usually appreciated, and it infuriated me to be ignored. I finally had to firmly tell myself:

This company's bottom line objective is to make money by providing top notch service.

My bottom line objective is to make money by doing what they ask me to do.

End of story.

I did feel that finding outlets where I could be in control (in my private life) and work hard and well and creatively went a long way toward weaning me off the feeling that I needed to contribute more Of Myself at work. I saved the good stuff for me, and they were very happy with my new "cooperative" attitude.

(I eventually ran screaming off into the night and never looked back, but that's another story. :~))

[ApatheticNoMore]

Most workplaces people are resigned to suggestions for say process improvements going nowhere and protocols being stupid. It's a Dilbert world (at least that's the white collar world). Keep your nose down and your cynicism to sustain you.

[SiouzQ.]

I got through today fairly well, with grit and determination (plus, it was my day to work a different venue from my usual deli case set-up). I didn't have to work with the people who drive me the most crazy, at least. I did vent to my team leader, which felt good but not sure it is going to produce any concrete results. I think the change is going to have to be me. I just have to learn to let of the idea that I am somehow responsible for all these things going on that are out of my control, AND I have to stop picking up after people. But god, the MESS they leave during the course of a busy day at the grocery store is just awful! IF I WAS A SUPERVISOR (and remember, I DON'T WANT TO BE A SUPERVISOR, I would not let my co-workers trash the deli counter the way they would do. I would somehow just make everyone stop what they were doing during a slow moment and clean up the three feet of space around them, every once in a while. I think there is no excuse for it to get the way it does. But that is precisely the kind of stuff I have to let go of...

I have the next two days off, in which I will continue getting ready for my trip. And I only have ELEVEN more days of work before I am gone!

[SteveinMN]

But god, the MESS they leave during the course of a busy day at the grocery store is just awful! IF I WAS A SUPERVISOR (and remember, I DON'T WANT TO BE A SUPERVISOR, I would not let my co-workers trash the deli counter the way they would do. I would somehow just make everyone stop what they were doing during a slow moment and clean up the three feet of space around them, every once in a while. I think there is no excuse for it to get the way it does. But that is precisely the kind of stuff I have to let go of...
SQ, I think you should realize that what you're seeing is the WF system at work. Somehow, through all the mess, your colleagues continued to be employed -- and so does the supervisor that doesn't call them on the mess. I'm unsure that continued venting, in light of its lack of success so far, does more than brand you as discontented and high-maintenance.

The fix is you. You can either choose to adjust your work activity to what provides for SiouzQ's continued employment at Whole Foods, reserving your highest levels of engagement for what you do outside of work (free time, jewelry business, whatever). Or you can take the experience you've gained at WF and find a better place of employment (doesn't have to be a food store). There also is option 3, but you're living through that one now and I can tell you (from personal experience) it most likely will not get better.

As a side note, I think it would serve you to take some time to reflect upon why you don't want to be a supervisor (with the pay increase and whatever perks come with it) if you're already doing a good chunk of the job. There certainly may be plenty of valid reasons to not enter the official management ranks (you don't owe us an explanation of them, either). Or you may realize that, if having a say in how the job is done is necessary for you -- and if supervisors do have a say in how the job is done -- then maybe that's your next step. Step forward or step back; where you standing now is not serving you well.

[mschrisgo2]

"...step forward or step back" --- oh, I like that phrase SO much!!! It can be applied in so many situations! Thank you, SteveinMN!!

[Zoe Girl]

i have been there many times. in one case i tried for a shift manager, and didn't get it. later with the same large retail company i stepped back. i pretty much knew there wasn't a chance and by that time really didn't want it. So i worked at the customer service/photo lab and i brought a book or a pad of paper. i know the manager was frustrated with that but i continually showed him i was finished with everything possible to do and i couldn't leave the area of course so the first 2 hours we were open were deadly boring. it doesn't sound like you have that option since WF is always busy but if you don't want to be a manager then you could look at how to do your good job and ways to put some of the work back on others. i know how tricky this is. many many companies run on this same principle of knowing they will have some really hard workers, some in between, and some ones that are not very productive that are not bad enough to fire. sometimes the in between and lower employees are promoted just to get them to move on.

it was the same in school with group reports. i rarely found a way out of that issue.

[SiouzQ.]

Thanks for all the input! @Steve ~ the main reason I don't want to be supervisor is that it is a sh** position with not much pay increase to make it worth it. Then they own you...you are expected to fill in on pretty much any position if someone calls off (which, in a department with over 50 people, happens on a regular, daily basis. So in addition to managing the front counter area, you have to do somebody else's job for that shift. Your schedule gets upended every which way, so it would be back to possibly doing all three shifts in one week. NO THANKS! Way too much stress and baloney on a daily basis. I am unwilling to put myself out there to be the whipping post. The change (if I decide to stay) has to be me, and I am working on it this week. It's going a lot better and vacation is inching closer.

Plus, I have my side business to work on so that someday I don't have to work for someone else. I am at the tipping point of adding galleries and still working full-time (I'm in five right now, plus the possibility of doing wholesale starting next winter). I think I just have to suck it up and bide my time and see where things go heading forward. I guess the golden handcuffs have me chained - the pay is pretty decent for retail, and the healthcare and other benefits are not something I am just going to throw away until I am good and ready to move on. Thank god I am mature enough not to make rash decisions! I really just need to work on detaching from it all, which for me means going in an still being an exemplery employee but not be emotionally tied to it too much. At least the person I have the most trouble getting along with will be gone most of the summer after I get back from my vacation. So I won't have to deal with her until the fall. That'll be a nice break, at any rate. My frustration level will go down significantly!

[SteveinMN]

Thanks for all the input! @Steve ~ the main reason I don't want to be supervisor is that it is a sh** position with not much pay increase to make it worth it.
Totally understand, SQ! I had zero interest in management where I worked last because it was that same kind of job -- you were pwned as the kids say and the compensation/bennies just weren't there. But I think that just points you closer to where you need to be, both in the short term and the long term. Sounds like you'll have a much better handle on things when you come back from vacation. Forget about Whole Foods in the meantime. :-)