View Full Version : New babies and teaching older siblings the how-to's of baby care.
Stella's thread- "teaching kids to cook" posted in the Food & Recipes forum made me think of this one.
Our oldest was born in 1992 (daughter), followed by a another baby in 1994 (son), followed by another baby in 1997 (daughter), followed by our last baby in 2002 (son). Whew! :) By the time our third baby was born, oldest daughter was 5 and all about being a mommy's helper.
She fetched clean diapers at change time, held her baby sister for feedings, etc, little things to help introduce her to the basics of babies- and she loved it, however with a 4-1/2 year gap between our third and fourth, oldest daughter was just shy of 10 when the last one came along and more than old enough to get involved on a more serious level.
She changed diapers (cloth diapers with pins), fed, bathed, dressed, you name it, she did it. It was a big help having her around and she willingly got involved- without any intervention from me. No forceful emphasis placed on her- i.e. "you have to help because".
With that said, for those of you who had children with wide ranging age gaps, did you enroll your older children in the teachings of baby care 101?
As a side-note, for those of you who don't have children, what was your experience with helping out with younger siblings growing up? Were you made to help (no choice in the matter? Did you voluntarily help and get involved?
Your first three kids age gap is pretty close to mine. Cheyenne and Bella were 5 and 4 when James was born and now with Travis they are 7 and almost 6. They are great helps when it comes to fetching me things I need, which is fantastic because in a 6-level split level house there is always something I've forgotten on another floor. :) They haven't changed diapers, but I think they probably know how after watching me so many times. It wouldn't take them long to get it.
My girls are naturally helpful too. I do have chores for them, but they've never said no to a request for help. They have household chores they have to do, but baby care stuff is mostly just fun for them. They find babies fascinating and we have an atmosphere in our house that encourages us all to look for ways to be helpful and kind to each other.
domestic goddess
4-3-11, 3:18pm
Since I only have one child, this wasn't an issue. And since my db and I were less than 2 years apart, I wasn't any help there, either. Made up for it, though, by becoming a pediatric nurse. I've changed more diapers than I even want to think about, with some really awful stuff in them, so I'm not squeamish, either. I've also taken care of older kids, in their teens, wearing diapers, so I guess I'm prepared for the time that may happen to my mom. Sometimes I think I know more than I should!
My experience with my own kids was like Stella's. The largest gap between my four was 6 years. (1995, 1997, 1997, 2001)
The most I asked the older ones to do was bring me stuff from other areas of the house, or alert me when the baby needed something if I left him for a minute and couldn't hear him. So they were never "babysitting," he would always be in a safe area and occupied while I was making sandwiches or something.
Of course, now that the oldest is 15 and the youngest is 9, they do more staying home alone without me and that sort of thing. They all love each other and want to help out, and really look out for each other.
When I was growing up, I was only a year older than my sister. But I have two half brothers who were 6 years and 15 years younger than me. So, when I was at my Dad's house, I was the live-in nanny. But, I really didn't mind it. I love my brothers, and it was the only time I got to see them. Also, it made me feel like I was important and trusted. It was one of the few ways I was allowed to prove I could be an adult, if that makes any sense? Plus, Dad was pretty liberal with money for helping out, and that was pretty nice ;)
My sister, on the other hand, HATED baby-duty (and baby doody!) So, it was a different story for her when she visited. We visited separately once we were teenagers for a variety of reasons.
My brother is twelve years younger than me and nine years younger than my sister. I remember wanting to help out, and gladly help out I did. Interestingly, I also feeling resentful that my parents could only think of the joke, "Yeah, we have built-in babysitters" when people would be surprised that they were having another baby after a long gap. It was funny to each of them that heard it once, but not so much to the "babysitters" who had to hear it over and over again. But then I don't really remember being resentful of the actual babysitting, or that I had to do very much of it.
Once someone cast me a disgusted look when I was out and about with my brother. I suppose she thought he was mine. Geez, did I look that mature for 12 or 13?!
My brother is twelve years younger than me and nine years younger than my sister. I remember wanting to help out, and gladly help out I did. Interestingly, I also feeling resentful that my parents could only think of the joke, "Yeah, we have built-in babysitters" when people would be surprised that they were having another baby after a long gap. It was funny to each of them that heard it once, but not so much to the "babysitters" who had to hear it over and over again. But then I don't really remember being resentful of the actual babysitting, or that I had to do very much of it.
i had a similar experience in that i was 13 when my dad and stepmom started having babies. they had 3 in all, and my stepsister and i cared for them as much as my stepmom did. i have to admit that i was quite resentful, though i loved the babies and enjoyed spending time with them. but their crib was in my bedroom, so i was up with them at night all the time -- feeding, changing diapers, trying to get them to stop crying, etc. -- when i had school and work the next day.
i think it's perfectly appropriate for children to help with caring for the younger ones, but i do feel that in my family's case, too much was asked of us as children. i particularly resented it because it felt to me like, what, just because my dad decided to marry some lady, suddenly i was beholden to take care of a bunch of kids? my mom died when i was 5, and i spent almost all my time alone between 5 and 12 when he remarried, so going from benign neglect to a full-on *big family* was a huge adjustment for me. it didn't help that my stepmother and i didn't get along at all...
I'm the oldest of 5 kids. The gaps were 2 years, 2 years, 4 years, 6 years. So for the first one I was only 2 and no help. But the third and fourth I did help out with. Partly I was responsible and mature, partly it was expected and partly I enjoyed some of it. Some of it I hated - like when the fourth kid would scream for hours on end when I was babysitting. She was pretty trying on everybody. But it's hard when you're only a kid yourself and didn't chose that life. For the last one, I was 14 and really thought enough was enough. I was DONE being the third parent and checked out. My brother (two years younger) did more of the babysitting for the youngest. But he always liked kids and I knew from a young age that I wouldn't be having kids. I really feel like I've done my time in that regard. I was never that close to my youngest sister because of the age gap and my attitude at the time. I did take a babysitting course and babysat other people's kids so was completely able to take care of kids and babies (though never did much infant feeding) if I had to. But I really didn't like it. Whenever I had to do my mother's job for a day (SAHM) I'd be in tears by the end of day. There were lots of other issues that made taking care of the house and kids extra stressful. Basically it sucked being the only responsible one who didn't avoid work at all costs in a house with no rules or set chores and a mother who wasn't organized and didn't try to minimize work for herself.
Luckily those times are long gone and I have control of my own life again.
domestic goddess
4-3-11, 8:26pm
I have to wonder, when mothers have baby after baby, just who told them that it was alright for them to abdicate their responsibility as a parent and let the older children raise the younger ones? Why have a child if you don't intend to take care of it? Not saying anyone here did that, but my dsil is the youngest of 9, and the older ones pretty much raised him, including discipline, and he has a boatload of resentment toward them and toward his mother for allowing it (making it happen). I wonder if that will happen in really huge families, like the Duggar's, although I don't know if there is the problem of discipline there, as they all seem pretty well behaved. Dsil's siblings received harsh discipline, and I think, gave it, because that's was what they thought should happen, and also to "get back" at someone for what they had suffered.
My sister, 3 years older than me, was made to take care of and spend time witih me throughout childhood and still resents me with what's called "murderous rage" in psychoanalytic jargon. She did, in fact, try to kill me when I wa a baby--considered a big joke to my mother who told this story over and over. I think it's the parents who decide to have the kid, and the older kids shouldn't have to help. When I was 13 and had a brother, I wanted to raise him and did. My parents weren't competent to parent and not interested in doing so. So it worked out. But only because I said clearly I was going to do this. I did resent having to take over my mother's chores while she was pregnant.
treehugger
4-4-11, 12:13pm
I was 9 years old when the Golden Child, er, my half-brother, was born (to my mom and stepdad) and I remember feeling replaced the instant he arrived. Whether I had reason to feel this immediately, I cannot objectively say, but I definitely did (and do, although I hide it very well from the family) feel resentment, which didn't contribute to me wanting to help out much.
I started baby sitting him when I was 13 or so, and it was hell. We didn't get along and I always got in trouble when they got home for some infraction that he tattled on (and no, I'm not saying I was completely innocent). Ugh. There has to be a better way to raise 2 kids who are 9 years apart.
Today, my little bro and I (he's the one who lives in Japan, 80 miles from the nuclear plant) get along just fine, but we will never be close. We are too different in every way and the disaparity with which we were raised (he never had to have a job until he graduated with a fully-paid masters degree; I had to start working in high school and did not get college paid for, etc.) weighs on me (unbecomingly, I'll be the first to admit).
On the other hand, I am very close with my other 2 (older) brothers and one of my sisters.
Kara
So lovely hearing from you all.
Stella. Yeah, I think most siblings (older siblings) love having a new face around and getting involved with all the daily affairs related to the tiny bundles. Both of my daughters love babies. When the last two boys came along I'd often find my girls curled up on the couch or in a chair, each holding a little one wrapped up in a blanket, all comfortably snuggled in, and no doubt loving all the attention and affection they were getting. :)
Domestic goddess. I've always admired you to the highest degree DG! To have a job where the people you care for count on your love and compassion and to know you give it unconditionally no matter what the circumstance or situation. I love you for that! :)
I'm sickened to the bone over your story Re: your son-in-law. My oldest daughter babysat for me occasionally and one thing I always emphasized to her was- "no spanking". I'd tell her, "if I get home and find out someone was misbehaving, I'll deal with it, that's my job". I afforded her with a host of alternative methods of discipline she could freely use if and when things got out of hand (and occasionally they did), but never was punishment one of them.
Djen. I totally hear you and relate to feeling grown up and mature caring for a baby. I was always years ahead of my age and I enjoyed that side of maturity, yet once I started babysitting (all on my own) the feeling of being even more mature and needed felt great! Just knowing there were families and mothers who counted "on me" to care for their children transported me to a higher level. I wasn't old enough to care for my younger siblings but my oldest sister was, and to this day she still reminds baby brother that she used to change his diapers! :laff:
Fidgiegirl. I know exactly where you are coming from as to the way you feel about your parents always talking of having an in-home and built-in babysitter. (Do take it from me though, they were so proud)! :) I do think they should have reminded you in a serious way as to how much they appreciated you being available to them as an older child capable of childcare. I think that always helps solidify a sense of belonging and appreciation in the child branded- "glorified sitter". Just as it does had they expressed it differently when in the company of others like- "we don't know what we would do without her". Somehow a more serious side to it goes farther and carries more clout rather than pooh-poohing it off as a casual thing.
Madgeylou. Yeah, there's helping and offering, and then there's outright imposing. I feel for you, no kid should ever have to endure such responsibility and encroachment, but I admire you for stepping up to the plate and accepting it for what it was and dealing with it. That takes a really big person. Good on you! Loosing your mom so young I can't imagine. (A warm hug).
Originally posted by Kestra.
For the last one, I was 14 and really thought enough was enough. I was DONE being the third parent and checked out.This made me laugh even though I know it's no laughing matter in relation to why it took place/happened. (Just the way you worded it). Like Madge, I commend you on stepping up to the plate and delivering. Takes a really mature kid to take on the role on mom and homemaker. (A warm hug for you too)! :)
Larknm. It's sad when circumstances curtail that a younger child take on advanced family roles, like what transpired in your case. (I'm just so glad and happy to know you were mature enough to handle it all and provide proper and loving care). I went to school with peers (girls) who had baby siblings and a few were made to do most everything once they arrived home. Cook, clean, take care of the baby (or babies), everything, and none were happy about it. It's so wrong.
I think to some extent how older kids feel about their siblings (for the record, I am an oldest child) has a lot to do with how much time and love they feel their parents invest in the older siblings. Most of the older kids I know who have resented helping with younger siblings have resented it largely because they felt neglected themselves. In families that do a good job of spreading the love and attention, there's usually a lot less resentment. Also, I think younger siblings should be encouraged to help out the parents and the older siblings as well.
I used to resent my younger sister a lot. I felt replaced. Mind you, at 19 months older nothing was actually expected of me as far as her care, but we were treated very differently as children. Now I realize that resentment is a choice and I have come to see my sister (and family in general)as one of the great treasures of my life. She's an amazing person and I am blessed to have her as a sister. She feels the same way about me. She's 30 years old and last year we almost lost her to breast cancer. That has really put things in perspective for me.
I see each of us as part of a family and with that comes responsibilities for everyone. I hold my kids to a relatively high standard, but I hold myself to a higher one. I see each of my kids as a rare gift and the opportunity to raise them as a serious responsibility. I see childhood as a precious time, but also as a training ground for adulthood. As the children grow, more is expected of them.
It's true they didn't choose how many siblings they have or what birth order they are, but really, 90% of life is learning to deal gracefully with situations you didn't choose for yourself. I didn't choose where I was born, or how much money my parents made or what I look like or a whole host of other circumstances that led me to this moment in my life, but I do choose what I am going to do with it and how I will respond. Really, in most ways fortune has smiled on me in a big way. I am healthy. I was born in a wealthy nation. I have never been hungry a day in my life. I have had more opportunities to make my own way than most people. The same is true of my children. I find, and I hope that they find, that it is a more fruitful approach to life to be grateful for the gifts I have been given than to resent the challenges I have been presented with.
Treehugger. How sad that is being pushed to the back of the class for a newcomer. I always made sure that never happened in our house. (Husband included, because dads too can also feel hurt over feeling neglected with the welcoming of a new addition). I worked extra hard at giving everyone hugs and kisses, complimenting them, and doing thoughtful little things to help brighten their day).
You hit on a really important issue regarding not wanting to contribute to the little one on account of feeling off-sided. Bingo, so true. To this day I'm still friends with a couple of girls I went to school with who were made to care for baby siblings while still at home, and neither has a firm, solid, loving relationship with their parents- particularly their moms. Sure says a lot about arbitrarily appointing baby/childcare to an older child (sibling) and neglect, albeit as mild as it may be.
Stella. Well said, and I too have also gained appreciation for the plain simple things I have been gifted with, health topping the list. Just adding to what you've already mentioned regarding resentment and neglect, in my eyes getting my kids to "bring me this" and to "get me that" when there was a baby in the house was good for everyone all around IMO. My mom did the same with us kids when we were little and I always felt so grown up for it. (Being able to contribute and help). It's such a positive and healthy approach to creating a rock solid family unit where everyone feels they have not only a place within, but an "important" place within.
I find, and I hope that they find, that it is a more fruitful approach to life to be grateful for the gifts I have been given than to resent the challenges I have been presented with.
well said. there were many blessings in my childhood along with challenges, and i feel incredibly lucky that i was born with the temperament to be able to see and recognize that!
one of the things i am so grateful for is that i am an adult now. :) i really didn't like being a child, at all.
and mrs. m, thanks so much for the kind words.
As a side-note, for those of you who don't have children, what was your experience with helping out with younger siblings growing up? Were you made to help (no choice in the matter? Did you voluntarily help and get involved?
Ha HA!!! Do you remember me telling you on the old SLN forums what I did to my baby dolls? I liked to take them apart to see how they worked (I was either a jr. engineer in the making or a serial killer :-)!) so I think my parents were a little leery of letting me help with my younger sister (3 years younger). But I had an older brother (a year older than me) and he was sort of facinated by her - carried her around everywhere and we'd all play with her together but didn't do "chores" like changing diapers (I've never changed a diaper in my life - can you believe that!!). I know my Mom (very traditional old world european) tryed to get us to help more but we (brother and I) weren't very receptive to it. But as we got older we all had chores and help teach little sis how to do them - often times making her our little slave :-)! We were kind of terrible to her in a nice way - very loving and protective but often took advantage of her in Huck Finn whitewashing the fence kind of way (or was that Tom Sawyer?).
My sister, 3 years older than me, was made to take care of and spend time witih me throughout childhood and still resents me with what's called "murderous rage" in psychoanalytic jargon.
I have a sister who is 3 years younger than me but would follow me around like a puppy dog and emulate everything I did. Occasionally drove me nuts and I'd whine loudly to my Mom. But in the end we ended up best friends and are extremely close.
Hi Spartana. Yes, yes, yes, I do remember! :) Older kids really can be little devils when it comes to younger siblings can't they. I remember doing things to my baby siblings too, as you say, in a Huck Finn whitewashing the fence kind of way. (Gosh do I ever love that saying)! I'm officially adopting it.
Changing diapers? Here's my take on the matter. If you never have before, that's not necessarily a bad thing, if you have, that's not a bad thing either. (If that makes any sense). Kind of like- you aren't missing anything. :laff:
Funny diaper changing story to share with you Spartana. I can't remember whether we had two or three kids at the time, but I do know one was definitely in diapers and one of my best friends (who at the time didn't have kids yet and who had never changed a diaper before in her life) would drop by often to visit.
As with all daily life happenings, diaper change time would creep up while she was over visiting and I'd ask her- "do want to change the baby"? "No thanks" she'd politely reply with a smile, and either she'd follow me in to watch or she'd sneak out the back door of our house to have a cigarette.
The diaper changes that lady avoided! But then came that one fateful night. We needed a sitter- bad, and with no one else available to sit, I called her up. I knew she had next to nothing in the way of baby experience but I also knew she would never allow anything bad to happen to the kids and that they'd be well taken care of, just as I knew she was more than capable (push come to shove) of handling any/all baby related jobs/tasks if she put her mind to it.
Guess who had to change diapers that night! :laff:
[QUOTE=Mrs-M;18128] Changing diapers? Here's my take on the matter. If you never have before, that's not necessarily a bad thing, if you have, that's not a bad thing either. (If that makes any sense). Kind of like- you aren't missing anything. :laff: [QUOTE]
Ah but I've taken in 8 homeless pets over the last 10 years so have had my share of poopy puppy moments! If I could have run from that like your friend did from diaper changes I would have too :~):laff:
Originally posted by Spartana.
Ah but I've taken in 8 homeless pets over the last 10 years so have had my share of poopy puppy moments!You've made it, you are SOOO there! You've reached the dark side! :laff:
You've made it, you are SOOO there! You've reached the dark side! :laff:
The dark and stinky side :0!:0!!! Not to mention the "things" they have brought into the house half eaten/half alive. Found a dead gopher in the living room this morning. Such a nice gift from the dog! Think I'd rather deal with diapers.
Originally posted by Spartana.
The dark and stinky side !! Not to mention the "things" they have brought into the house half eaten/half alive. Found a dead gopher in the living room this morning.Oh boy, would I EVER struggle with that sort of thing! :laff: I'm thinking I'd have to call one of my kids to the rescue! :) Such a wimp I am when it comes to things like that.
domestic goddess
4-6-11, 12:29pm
Mrs. M, thank you for the nice words. It makes my day!
Stella, well said!
I am as happy to read this thread as I am to read the gratitude thread. So many enjoyed the experiences they had. I do think that children should be ready to help out when they can; that is how a family works. The chores sometimes have to be spread around, and I think children enjoy being able to participate. But parents need to remember not to take advantage, and to thank them for their help. That's how they would treat a friend; surely they would at least treat their children as well? Not always, apparently.
I had never changed a diaper until I was in nursing school. Then, after I had worked for a little more than a year, our dd was born. Fortunately, I was accustomed to taking care of several children at a time by then. Having the luxury of only dealing with one was really a treasure. Helping out with her two was even more special, because I was getting closer to that time when I knew I wouldn't be having any more. That was pretty much a certainty about 15 years before, when dh had his stroke, but by the time my first granddaughter was born, I knew the "baby" ship had sailed and left me behind. I do love those little girls with a fierceness I wasn't sure I would ever feel again. I am also saddened by the life my dsil lived when he was young, because it has colored his view of women and of relationships so, and not in a good way. I don't want to see that carried on in the lives of my dgds.
Originally posted by Domestic Goddess.
Mrs. M, thank you for the nice words. It makes my day!You're welcome. I'm hoping I've succeeded in colouring the lives of and the view of how our two boys see and know real moms and women as being. Such an important stepping stone it is to introduce them into this world with unconditional love and care, and then see them off with the same.
Domestic Goddess. In lieu of your DSIL's upbringing, do you ever find yourself attempting to try and make up for the shortfall and loss he sustained as a younger child growing up? Just knowing you and the way you are I'll bet you do, just as I'm certain your daughter does too especially if she takes after you. I'm glad he has both you and your daughter by his side.
Someone mentioned the older kids raising younger kids. I've seen that in a couple of my homeschooling families, and it always makes me sad.
For example kids who are anywhere between 10 and 15 essentially being "assigned" a kid for the day, and they're responsible for that child's diaper changes, feeding, keeping him/her in clean clothes and playing happily. That stuff is hard to do when you're an adult and took on the task willingly!
I don't think that older children should be free from responsibility for their siblings, they can certainly lend a hand here and there, but when they are on the hook all day every day it seems to me that they are missing out on their own childhood.
Hi Djen. I'm adamantly against older siblings raising younger siblings, too. Helping out occasionally is one thing (I'm all for that), however taking on the role in it's entirety and regularly is out of line IMO.
P.S. I went back to the start of this thread and read through everyone's posts and found your funny comment- (My sister, on the other hand, HATED baby-duty (and baby doody!) ROTFLMAO!
P.S. I went back to the start of this thread and read through everyone's posts and found your funny comment- (My sister, on the other hand, HATED baby-duty (and baby doody!) ROTFLMAO!
Thank you, it gave a giggle when I wrote it. I'm glad I'm not the only one!
I have to wonder, when mothers have baby after baby, just who told them that it was alright for them to abdicate their responsibility as a parent and let the older children raise the younger ones? Why have a child if you don't intend to take care of it? Not saying anyone here did that, but my dsil is the youngest of 9, and the older ones pretty much raised him, including discipline, and he has a boatload of resentment toward them and toward his mother for allowing it (making it happen). I wonder if that will happen in really huge families, like the Duggar's, although I don't know if there is the problem of discipline there, as they all seem pretty well behaved. Dsil's siblings received harsh discipline, and I think, gave it, because that's was what they thought should happen, and also to "get back" at someone for what they had suffered.
Not exactly on topic, except to the post....the news that Michelle Duggar miscarried her pregnancy.
Since an old thread has been revived, I will continue this conversation.
My db and I are 15 months apart. I am the older one. I don't recall in the younger years being responsible for any kid duties. It wasn't till I was driving that I had to take some of the transportation responsibility. Until then, even going back and forth to school - I walked with my friends, and db was with his. We were totally independent beings, living under the same roof. My parents were very concientious of treating each child equally - but never were we blended together as a unit, or encouraged to be a team. My friends envied our family dynamic, as it was rather unique.
My kids were 3.5 years apart, with the girl being the oldest. She took to the baby like he was another of her playthings. She fed, bathed, and changed him. They were best of friends - he had a built in entertainment system in his sister. As they grew up, dd was often taking on the role of protector for her brother. She made sure he got on and off the school bus, for example. She helped him with homework, and in a complete turn of the tables, he helped her with high school algebra when he was in 6th grade. When she began having boyfriends, the poor boys often found he was dating a girl and her younger brother. They chose to hang out / socialize together all the time. As adults, they are the best of friends. I wish I could take credit for fostering that spirit in their childhood, but some of it was created, and some must have come naturally.
Tiam. No tears from me. The insensitivity represented in my entry reflects my displeasure of being subjected to, and exposed to (without my consent), all of the publicity the Duggar's have garnered over the past few years Re: the births of their children. An endless pathetic spectacle to gain notoriety and attention.
They have treated the births of their children as a public pageantry, rather than a gift of good fortune. So maybe, after all this time, the Duggar's arrogance, has finally caught up with them.
Imerullo. What a wonderful story. :) I'm a firm believer in the idea that closeness (related to siblings) is a naturally occurring anomaly (for the most part). In the cases I have witnessed, very little in the way of parental intervention seemed to play into it. It was just there. Pure magic.
Imurrello my kids are a lot like yours. My oldest two girls love helping with the little ones. Now that James is 2 even he is in on the action. He likes to help his little brother, which sometimes means unintentional trouble. It's cute though. He loves his "T" and he'll bring him toys and sometimes tries to feed him. They play together pretty well considering they are 2 years old and 8 months old.
It amazes me how well the various sets of kids get along. Cheyenne and Bella are best friends, hands down. Bella and James are total partners in crime. :) They're not really naughty, but they are both a little squirrely and they totally get each other. Cheyenne is mini-mom to James and Travis and they both love her to pieces. Sometimes when James has a bad dream he'll go sleep with Cheyenne instead of coming to our room. She loves it. James and Travis are buddies. Everyone who can speak already refers to New Baby as "our baby" and talks about what they'll do with the new baby.
I've really encouraged family unity. I missed that in my family of origin. I didn't feel like I was part of something bigger, or like I belonged. I want my kids to feel like they belong, and it seems to be working. I want us to have a sense of family identity as well as our individual identities. I have known some awesome families that were really able to create that. My friend Angie's family has "Family Camp" every year. She and her siblings, their spouses, kids and now grandkids get together for a few days at a campground and do all kinds of crazy, fun things. Mattress races and games and crafts and other camp style stuff. They all love it. They have a family scrapbooking party once a year and a big cookie baking day. Another friend's family makes lefse together and every year at Christmas they go out looking at Christmas lights and give awards out to their favourite displays. They got together in tiaras and dresses in the middle of the night to have tea and scones and watch the royal wedding. They are a family of 5 girls and from the sound of it the older kids did a whole lot of helping with the younger ones. I think traditions and fun time spent together can really help ease a lot of tensions and draw families closer together.
A warm and loving story, Stella.
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