anonymous letter at work? cowardly or what?

[Zoe Girl]

So if you have been reading my rather boring and anxious posts (in my opinion) you know that many aspects of my workplace are a wreck right now. i love my personal site and have great plans for this next year. So much of what i love in what i do is building programs based on connections. there is a real chance of improving the collaborations with the middle school close by (the kinda flakey person is leaving), PTA is willing to do equity work with me, i am looking at improvements in tutoring and continuing a successful soccer program. So i want to stay focused on that, however it is pretty hard to ignore the overall issues on a higher level.

and it feels like nothing is safe right now. the district is doing an overhaul of many departments which throws me off especially when i am collaborating with other grants. and now we have to write personal goals. i almost want to put as a goal to improve work with supervisors (one option on our list of about 60 options) but that feels too vulnerable. i could make a secret goal possibly. meanwhile for the last 3-4 years they have put supervisors through multiple trainings on emotional maturity, energy leadership and others. it is good training and this year has been horrible. i think we totally wasted our money. i get short answers to detailed questions with a harsh tone, not enough information, am cut off in meetings, and they just promoted someone who swears in meetings and acts rudely. i have written those letters you throw away but a few themes won't go away. i want to write a brief letter to the head of our department, first of all i feel real compassion for her. outside forces came in and laid off people, and so many people have left. i don't think she is a bad person. But really she needs to know this, that those at my level want the supervisors accountable for learning this material and using it, that harsh and incomplete communication is causing mistakes, and it would really help if certain issues (such as not getting required documents the entire school year) were admitted or responded to in some way.

anyone ever do this? i have a mindfulness conference call soon today focusing on work so i think that will help me make a decision as well.

[freshstart]

if you truly mean to do this anonymously, I'd sleep on it a few nights. Most of us have a distinct way of writing and wording issues, if she has known you a long time, unless she manages a vast amount of people, she'll probably realize who sent it. Are you prepared to deal with that fall out?

[razz]

Never, ever express anything that you would not want posted on a huge billboard. If it is not that important to do, don't, has been my practice and has kept me out of many difficult situations,

[iris lilies]

Writing an anonymous letter where you claim to represent the sentiments of others is the worst way I can think of to promote a cause. Don't do it. It's the action of a weak employee. You will fool no one--someone most likely will figure out it is from you, and they will not care that you consider yourself the voice for your crowd.

I always found that the most effective way to communicate about management actions was to be direct and clear. What you propose, a laundry list of problematic issues sent anonymously, is not that.

Your organization gave you a significant raise. While it is going through this rocky time, perhaps that can sustain you. If you feel it is too risky to clearly communicate upwards, then don't do that at the moment. You are probably right, that there is too much personnel change at the moment for them to focus on anything other than basics.

[Valley]

I don't like to send or receive anonymous letters. They seem cowardly to me. If you believe strongly enough in your assessment of the situation, then you should speak out. If you're not comfortable being attached to your words, then they are best left unsaid.

You need to stop and ask yourself why you continue to struggle with your supervisors. If it is something you can improve from your "side", then do it. If it is something they are or aren't doing, then you probably need to find a way to reconcile working their way or look for another position somewhere else. Just remember, you will always go with you wherever you go. It took me a long time to fully understand that. Good luck!

[sweetana3]

Dont do it. I did something similiar many years ago in a burst of anger and I was the one moved out of the group to a different job as a result. Loved my job and left really hating that supervisor. Never, never, never. In this time of great upheaval, keep your head down, your communications simple, your focus on your job.

ps: It is not your job to be in any way critical of your supervisor or anyone at a higher level unless it is only maybe talking to family outside of the job. Do not even do it "around the water cooler". It is pretty guaranteed that they will not take it positively and it will bite you in the rear end.

I try to remember that the people that need the advice are usually the ones who dont think they have any problems.

[Zoe Girl]

ok at least my intuition was correct in asking here before doing anything. also i do not talk at work, i work at my own site so i am not in the office to talk around the water cooler but the reason i post here a fair amount is because i don't do that. honestly most of the things i could say are pretty obvious, these supervisors are using the unprofessional tone in many places.

i am taking the feedback to heart, and realizing that when i just listen and take responsibility i get kinda crushed by it. is there really a middle ground possible? i have always had a thing about authority , i don't do well with it. So why would i get promoted to hang out with the people who i push back against? Still we do a formal feedback at the end of the school year and i need to at least ask for some support in some ways. i am working through that month or so in advance so this helps. one time this year i honestly got angry and talked back, it didn't backfire on me! but it also felt very appropriate at the time, the letter feels like something else. the rest of the time, the accusations that were not true and i totally kept my cool with and responded but did not react to, well i did not get angry back and that was great. my staff has witnessed a few of them and told me they would have a hard time being so calm so i feel good about that.

i went on the conference call and it was so nice. there were 3 of us and we all had a background in education. i shared that part of my plan is to do a LOT of metta practice (lovingkindess). it is like the kill them with kindness however without that snarky feel. it really is coming from an understanding that everyone wants to be free from suffering. i have that with my families in poverty and homeless and grandparents raising grandkids. i have that with my staff that i am very supportive and protective of. but i do not have that with supervisors.

in any case i very much appreciate your feedback,

[razz]

ZG, I have to say that I admire your efforts to work through so many scenarios and challenges.

[JaneV2.0]

... i have always had a thing about authority , i don't do well with it. So why would i get promoted to hang out with the people who i push back against? ...

I'm not crazy about authority for authority's sake. I consider myself the authority in my life. :~) I've had bosses that were outstanding, but not many. I was approached several times about taking a management position and i felt exactly the way you do--their values were not my values.

That said, I'm with Sweetana. Keep your head down, pick your battles, kill them with kindness, and document everything.

[Zoe Girl]

ZG, I have to say that I admire your efforts to work through so many scenarios and challenges.


thank you! that means so much. it is not easy to take responsibility for our mistakes, and too easy to be crushed by it

[Zoe Girl]

I'm not crazy about authority for authority's sake. I consider myself the authority in my life. :~) I've had bosses that were outstanding, but not many. I was approached several times about taking a management position and i felt exactly the way you do--their values were not my values.


when the grants manager left my attitude was to learn everything i could in the last 2 years of my current grant. our school is not staying low income so i know it won't be chosen for another grant cycle. then i wanted to create this locally.
http://hlfinc.org/services/after-school-programs/

i am training in mindfulness in education and would have both grant and after school experience.

then when the next 3 people announced leaving, the communication kept falling apart in summer and i made the mistake i just lost steam. i think i can get it back, the reason to be a manager is to create what you want. i know that isn't possible in all types of work but i think with how mindfulness is growing there may be a grant out there or a parent tuition program (or my speciality a blend of both)