View Full Version : Friendships
I still have my FB and started deleting people. Having taken the social network break over the past few weeks really made me see who was in my life, for real, for solid relationships and who was not. I am really making some decisions as to who fits into my top group of people I would really trust and run to in a crisis or just for companionship and a good talk. The rest are all what I consider acquaintances, those, if I saw out and about town, I would be cordial and say hi but keep the chit chat light. I really assessed each person and it's been eye opening. My top 4 that I weeded out:
1. The people who only need you when they are in crisis but the minute you try to strike up a serious conversation, poof, they are gone. Those were easy.
2. The always seeking advice type but never take any of it and just want to continue to complain. Bye Bye.....
3. The always in end of the world, crisis mode person, who could be lumped with #2 for never even considering any sound advice or a different perspective and Instant Messaging me all hours of the day, but takes it to the next level, always mad at the world, poor me, martyr syndrome. And if you don't answer in a timely manner, I must be mad at them.
4. The easily offended by what I post. I am all for diversity in friendships but if someone says, posts something I don't agree with, I go on my way. Have few that ALWAYS have to comment and pick a fight.
I find as I get older, I have fewer friends but more quality relationships. I still enjoy learning and exploring and trying new things, but I am not minding being alone more and having true interactions when I am with people around me. Quality over quantity I guess??? And no time for BS. :)
iris lilies
8-7-15, 10:34pm
OP, I couldn't quite tell if you are cutting these people out of your life entirely, or just cutting them from Facebook friending. It's all fine. I don't really have much of a relationship with "friends" on FB, mine is a strange little groups of about 8 or 10 people. Most long distance because with my friends here in town, I don't need Facebook to keep up.
I would say off FB completely, cutting this group out for the most part and keeping them at a long arm as acquaintances in real life. I want a strange little group of 8 or 10 people. :)
TxZen - I did the same thing a few months ago and am so glad I did. I found I was having to customize who was seeing certain posts and who wasn't and I got tired of it. I also have friends that take offense easily, or are just plain contrary and have to argue every thing you post even if its just the weather, and friends that were constantly posting selfies and having to share every moment of the day because they found their life so fascinating. That all got old and I am so glad I deleted and revamped my fb list. The ones I care about genuinely and who care about me are still on it and I enjoy it so much more now.
Exactly Corkym!!! I am really only using mine now for the few relatives I have and about 12 other people. It's nice. No more drama and I can post without having fear of someone going off on a tangent or being so "keyboard" aggressive. LOL And yes, the one's who post 25x a day..those are gone too. The other thing is that most of the people have my phone number, so they can call if they really care.
I agree with you 100%. I want my FB page to be a happy place where I can keep up with my long distance brothers, good friends, and learn things. But not to be about stupid, shocking, political, horrifying, depressing, etc. things.
I like the Good News Network stories.
I wish some people on FB would just realize that sarcasm does not come across and cut it out.
One interesting thing I did learn from Facebook is the true personalities of my friends, acquaintances, relatives. I learned who the ones full of narcissistic tendencies were (endless selfies-seriously sometimes I want to just say "have you looked in the mirror lately, you aren't as gorgeous as you seem to think you are); the ones who crave attention always posting "I need a hug, if you care about me you will like and share". "Name a trait about me you like" (I can name a trait I DON't like easily), or posting a sentence without all the info. "I love all of you, I won't see you again, but please know I love you." Yes, I had a friend do that and it threw everyone into an uproar not knowing if she was suicidal. We spent half a day trying to track her down, only to find she was alive and well and eating cheetos, watching a movie; self righteous people trying to paint you into a corner to say whether you believe in Jesus or not by posting "If you love Jesus, say Amen", so If I don't type Amen, does that mean I don't love Jesus? The people who think they have all the political answers by posting "Only the ignorant support so and so...blah blah". I have been shocked to find out the innermost workings of some of my friend's personalities.
Corkym- yes and those who post things to your wall because they THINK they know you and you are like WTF is that for? HAHAHA- that is just it. I guess I don't really know these people and would like to only know them as "Hey I know you" and move on. I am not willing to put more energy into that type of relationship. I also find it gives people excuses to think they ware having a real relationship with you, because ya know, you post on FB so that means I know all about you. When a real life conversation starts out "So I saw on your FB page" I tend to worry about the quality of the conversation.
And don't forget the FB friends who just like to accumulate numbers. I know someone who has over 2000 friends. How can you even know that many people? It's not like she is in politics or something. LOL
The other thing I am wary of is when you are friends with someone who is friends with someone you don't want to be friends with. You can use settings for privacy but that creeps me out. And yes, I had something I posted on FB thrown back at me by someone who I am not friends with. She heard it from a FB friend and saw the post. It was nothing bad but just something I did not want to discuss with this person AT all.
And yes, the one's who are the drama queens and take every post personally and like to leave cryptic message drive me nuts. I posted something that you could say was a little bit on the religious side but I liked the idea behind it. I suddenly got an IM saying "Well are you a Jesus freak now?" She was also the type that if you didn't like her posts, she would get mad. Last thing I need is social media approval for my life.
Oh and I friended someone who had gone back and looked at pics of my hubby graduating from the police academy from over 2 years ago. He took the time to write me a thesis on police brutality and how dare I(we) go into that line of work, especially since he thought he was my friend. I had not talked to this guy in over 4 years. Yep..crazy people. Bye bye self centered, crazy person.
I could write a book.
Wow! Lots of nasty Facebook stuff....I have not had any of that, but I do ignore. I did have one "friend" who cut me out because I blocked her "kill Obama " post during the first election he won. No loss there. My sister is still friends with her both on and off Facebook. As a retired teacher I have gotten in touch with a few of my students, now in their 40s. It's fun to see what they are doing and they seem to enjoy my responses.
IshbelRobertson
8-8-15, 10:18am
I don't have any social media type accounts. I wouldn't know how to tweet or what a 'wall' may be..... And I honestly don't feel I'm missing ANYTHING :)
freshstart
8-8-15, 10:42am
I've been off FB for a month, maybe two, I can't remember as usual, lol. I was getting so much in my feed that I did not care about, I was getting so forgetful, I would forget if I responded to someone I actually do care about. It's been a time in my life when I don't feel like spending so much time validating someone's new selfie. So I just stopped cold turkey. And the people who really care and I am close to, emailed me when they noticed, they were for the most part, people who already knew I was not well. But others took the time to check in with me who had no idea and I found that very kind. I'm sure I'll eventually go back but I will be culling my list for sure. And although I love election coverage, I could no longer keep up with the articles I wanted to read. It is interesting to find out who notices you've appeared to have dropped off the planet and take the time to message you. The ones that never even noticed and usually their posts were the latest bikini shot by the pool or pics of drinking with friends, will be gone, life is too short to spend validating 45 yr olds in bikinis
ToomuchStuff
8-8-15, 11:47am
I don't have any social media type accounts. I wouldn't know how to tweet or what a 'wall' may be..... And I honestly don't feel I'm missing ANYTHING :)
I do have an idea of what a wall is, but am very happy at not having FB/twitter, etc accounts. There are times, when ACTUAL LIVE people are around, that I miss out on parts of the conversation, because I am not aware of something going on in someones life, because I don't have FB. This may be someone local, or some friends that moved, due to career. Also family pretty much moved on from emails to FB posts (with certain exceptions), so I don't hear from relatives around the country that I wish I did.
Also, I have issues with some ways FB does business (and you agree to it, when you agree to their TOS). They have done some stuff that affected peoples privacy settings (change defaults), as well as the real name setting. I've been sitting next to some higher up LEO's who were talking/complaining about undercover officers, having FB accounts (with their picture up), have the famous friend who has a FB account for work, but has to use a relatives to post anonymously to other family/friends, and have a couple of women I have known, who have been stalked (why would you EVER then join FB).
With algorithms and the information that we as people share, you could probably find 60% of what a person posts online as an individual. The government, with the stuff in the trunks of the internet, would probably hit 90% because they wouldn't have eyes on someone long enough to guarantee they found 100%.
Privacy is becoming a state of mind, and with social media, people give that up.
Amen Freshstart!!! That is my whole point. I want quality in my life. I have to laugh at most of the people. One lady is always posting about her trips and pic after pic of her drinks...does she do anything else for her family? LOL Another is always trying to get people to buy her latest product- protein shakes, oils, makeup, candles, etc. I hate getting tagged on those and just remove myself. And yes, I have a few bikini posters that I would prefer to not have seen nor validate. LOL
When I got sick a few weeks ago, I had a few people check on me because they noticed I had not posted. The rest didn't seem to even miss me. :)
I recently went through FB and unfollowed people who I'm not real-life friends with, so I don't have to keep seeing everything they like and share. But I did keep them as friends for networking reasons. I don't have any FB friends who I actively dislike, who aren't at least a friendly acquaintance of mine; I ignore those friend requests.
And recently (since I quit my job) I've been sorting through my real-life friends, figuring out who was just a work friend, and who is an actual friend. I don't even socialize anymore with anyone that annoys me. I know lots of great people so there's no reason to maintain contact with the others.
I do use FB quite a bit to arrange real-life meet-ups and such (meeting with some new people I only knew from the internet this afternoon in fact) so I do find it valuable that way.
Teacher Terry
8-8-15, 2:43pm
I only go on FAcebook about once per month. It is weird how some people take pics of everything they eat, drink, etc. They must think they are celebrities!thumbsup!.
ApatheticNoMore
8-8-15, 3:21pm
Like TooMuchStuff I had issues with @uckerberg's sleazy empire and there was nothing stopping me from leaving it, so I did. But really I got little out of it. I liked hearing about local events. It makes one feel connected but that's about it.
I only go on FAcebook about once per month. It is weird how some people take pics of everything they eat, drink, etc. They must think they are celebrities!thumbsup!.
The thing is I have no idea what one IS supposed to talk about on FB. It's a stage but without the decency of even having a subject of discussion OR any true "shooting the breeze about nothing" flow like chat might .... It seems the most egotistical of platforms, so just talk ABOUT YOURSELF, not with reference to anything in particular (say on a foodie forum talking about one's latest creation or whatever) but just about YOU, but then people dislike if one is too egotistical. Perhaps it works if one has a very narrow group that knows each other well.
I don't have any FB friends; I just have a newsfeed. Works for me so far.
iris lilies
8-8-15, 4:18pm
A new FB thing has been, of late, use of it for commerce and by organizations to set up various events with volunteers.
A small lily grower is using FB as her selling site. She doesn't maintain a website or even a blog. She posts a photo of a product for sale, you add a "comment" if you want to buy bulbs telling her how many, and she totals up your bill and sends that amount to you in a PM. It's awkward and not very efficient, and I don't know what happens when you want to buy another set of bulbs (does she re-total your invoice? Do I write multiple checks and mail them in multiple mailings?) But I certainly understand the ease for her of no website maintenance.
The other group on FB is Bulldog Rescue and it's again a bit awkward to arrange business through "Comments." I am registered on FB with a nome de plume so I make it difficult for myself to participate in these transactions of FB. It was easy back when all I needed to do was to sit back and let the photos of bulldogs, iris and lilies flow into my feed along with occasional political comments and photos of friends and their dogs.
The "Friend" that made the cut list today:
I have a small side business of pet sitting. I am bonded and do it basically because I love animals and I have a lot of regulars. Someone I used to work with changed jobs. She cannot go home at lunch anymore to let her dog out. So she asked me for my information. I sent her the standard packet- days/times/to do lists, by email and FB, for her to look over and sign and send back to me- standard practice that I never had a problem with any other potential client. Dropped a text just in case too. She never answered me.
Come to find out, she has been mad at me because I did not bother to follow up with her 5 MONTHS AGO. Seriously? Get over yourself. I can't read your mind about what you want and it was on her to act. Bye bye.....
I mostly use FB for posting pics of the family. I do a few funny meme's or videos I like but nothing more. I am very particular in what I post for pics even. I do belong to our HOA FB page and that is just pure entertainment for me. :)
it changes all the time, but you can put people in groups so they only see the stuff you want them to see. Some I have so restricted, I think all they can see is I have an account but they must think I don't use it or something, for some reason this feels nicer then unfriending someone I like I guess, but do not want to share any of my business with them. Then I wait a while and the next time I cull people, I get rid of these people.
in some ways, I've had some really good things happen that probably wouldn't have if not for FB. One of my dearest friends in high school found me, we had not seen each other after going off to college. He didn't live too far away. We both have strong beliefs about certain things, like politics, gun control, bad shit happening in the name of God. He is way more severe than me and very smart so we bicker in a fun way. We like the same non-fiction books. And he loves independent film. So I had a new movie buddy. But most of all I had a friend back who I do care about, and we have kids who enjoy each other.
It's definitely made my extended family closer. People respond to silly little posts whom you have not seen in years but it's nice to have a connection. Sharing pictures and family stories. And when the bad stuff happens, everyone knows and reach out to that old great aunt they haven't seen in a decade.
the best thing? an older, former hospice social worker found me, she had changed hospices so when we set up our group of hospice pals who are still there, retired, left, whatever but we still have parties with this select group, it's great. Anyway, we kind of forgot about her, she had been gone for a while. We bonded over love of hospice and dogs, then as we spoke more often (in private messages, of course), I learned she had become disabled as well, and had been through the whole process I was just starting and not accepting well. She helped me so much, she totally understood if hospice was taken from me, what would be my act of service or life's purpose because to most of us, it's not just a job. I cannot tell you how re-connecting with her helped change my whole way of seeing my situation and dealing with it. And I was so ashamed about applying for SSDI, I had already wasted 9 months since the docs started telling me to apply, IDK how she did it but I finally accepted it and applied. She was like this gift from out of nowhere.
it can be a tool of the devil, lol or you force it to conform in a way that works for you. But you have to watch, because it changes all the flipping time!
so this is why I will go back eventually but I will be super culling when I do. And making triple sure people are in the right groups so when I post, I can be sure who is receiving it
The thing is I have no idea what one IS supposed to talk about on FB. It's a stage but without the decency of even having a subject of discussion OR any true "shooting the breeze about nothing" flow like chat might .... It seems the most egotistical of platforms, so just talk ABOUT YOURSELF, not with reference to anything in particular (say on a foodie forum talking about one's latest creation or whatever) but just about YOU, but then people dislike if one is too egotistical. Perhaps it works if one has a very narrow group that knows each other well. Oh thank you for saying this. It's exactly my issue. I have no idea how to group people so everyone doesn't see everything, and I don't really have a great interest in learning. So I go on vacation and post a picture of a funny sign, knowing that 100 people will see this, the 6 I had in mind will think it's hilarious, 70 others won't get it and think I'm a self-absorbed special snowflake for wasting their time, 20 will find it offensive and 4 will want to have an ongoing conversation about it for a week. I Have No Idea what facebook really is.
I also have no idea about what shows up in other people's facebook page. I had an honest but extremely private comment to make about a very sensitive subject editorial. I had to use facebook to sign in and post it. I just wanted to say what I had to say to another commenter, one of those 'don't worry, it happened to me too' sorts of comments. This was sincerely not something I wanted to share with everyone in the known universe who actually knows me.
Why do I suddenly have to sign in to facebook for everything from using my phone to playing a game? I have one friend who shows up almost hourly. "Cindy Got 12000 points on Bubble Witch Saga!" I think I'd die of shame before I'd let 15 comments a day of that nature post to everyone's page. feed. whatever it is, everything has a new name every other day.
I also find it for the best to just ignore friend requests from co-workers. I already had the maybe 2 people at work who were true friends for a decade and we never talked about work. Then I felt like I couldn't ignore co-workers' requests, accepted them and they would bitch about work, acting like these very private derogatory comments were truly private. They are not, if one single person you've trusted repeats it to someone you don't, you're in a pickle that is not at all professional. Two LPNs got in a fight and aired it on FB, OMG, it was BAD and all of us could see it, how can you possibly be that stupid? I deleted everyone except my two actual friends, I did not want my name showing up on their lists should these posts land in my employer's lap
Back when I worked in healthcare, I would catch co-workers posting HIPAA sensitive items on FB. Being the Facility Privacy Officer, I would send them a message to remove it immediately. Then of course, I was called the FB police. I had one person's mother tell me stay out of their private business when all I did was post " I hope things get better." WTF is that?
My other favorite from a few months ago was someone said "Did you hear the latest gossip?" I didn't answer and then went on my social media fast. They got pissed and called me and acted like it was life ending information. It was nothing and I said "Really? This is why you call me? Not to go to lunch or hey how are you? "
As of today, I am down to 14 people. I did figure out the privacy settings and basically blocked anyone I unfriended, so they cannot see me at all, even in a search.
you worked with crazy people! a co-worker's mom? People friending the Privacy Officer and then violating HIPAA? I'm starting to think 14 people sounds about right!
Yep...People are not very smart. I always take snapshots of those posts and then use them in my presentations, without the posters name.
I have to just laugh at it all. People will say and posts the oddest stuff. And yes, I worked with crazy people. FB is proving that more and more. LOL
My goal is to have the fewest FB friends of anyone I know. Within the last year I removed several former co-workers and some cousins. What bugs me is seeing where one of my sisters has commented on a post and I have no idea who they are, and in all honesty, don't want to know their vacation plans, work engagements, grandchild's latest accomplishments.
I do play words with friends with 3 of my sisters and would walk away from FB but for that.
awakenedsoul
8-8-15, 10:11pm
I avoided Facebook for years. Then I joined because I was interested in a reunion with some people from a show I did 25 years ago. I'm actually having a lot of fun with it. I hear from friends in Australia that I worked with when I was 19. They crack me up! I only post things that are funny or inspiring. We pass around a lot of videos of dancing and entertainment. I weed out the people who send political or religious stuff. So, now I have a really nice feed. Fun videos of animals, dance, and show business news. I've received some helpful info on hip replacements from old friends who have had them. I keep it positive, humorous, and look for content with talent. I didn't think I'd like Facebook, but I'm really enjoying it. If you really edit it, and cut out the stuff you don't want, it can be cool. (I don't do any selfies, though.) It's now pared down to a lot of art, which I love...
Simplemind
8-9-15, 12:41am
I always find it interesting how people get so worked up about Facebook. To me it is a tool. I use it primarily as a newsfeed to follow the sources I want to read. I think people take the term "friend" as it relates to Facebook too literally. People who overshare on their pages tend to overshare in person. People who pick fights are always looking for an opportunity to be contrary. I don't discuss religion or politics. I don't spend a second worrying about why we care about a lion but not about what Planned Parenthood is doing. If I want to read about Caitlyn Jenner it doesn't mean that I have forgotten about war veterans.
I have friended a lot of people but that never meant to me that it implied we were real life friends. I don't consider Facebook to be real life. I know who my real life friends are and we don't use Facebook to keep connected but I do see pictures of their vacation on it.
It never ceases to amaze me that folks don't understand how it works. I have a "friend" who is in Real Estate. She has friended many past and current clients. She is a people collector. Without thinking she posted some pictures of the interiors of homes, taken by other agents that were less than complimentary to their clients. I know the post was mainly intended for her other friends in the business but she didn't think about the couple hundred other folks that were not in the business. She didn't think that it might be the home of a friend of a friend. It was unprofessional and cost her business. It cost her mine.
Be very cautious about friending coworkers. Management reads Facebook. I read it and I could see when somebody called in sick but forgot that coworkers (called on OT to cover for them) could see the pictures that they posted about going to the beach.
Facebook is whatever you want it to be. I consider it my daily news and an interesting social experiment. I use the scroll feature liberally.
it can be a tool of the devil, lol or you force it to conform in a way that works for you.
Facebook is whatever you want it to be. I consider it my daily news and an interesting social experiment. I use the scroll feature liberally.
^^^ This (These?).
Facebook comes up on this site every few months and the thread takes a predictable course. I'm part of that right now. :confused:
I have no "friend" on Facebook whom I would not have in real life. That doesn't mean I don't have favorites, and, sadly, Facebook is not very good at differentiating favorites ("Close friends" is a start but seems to me more designed for posting than restricting access). So I do see that someone whom I like as a friend thinks the world will end unless Rand Paul is elected President. I do see the ---awful recipes people "Like" that involve cardboard crescent rolls and cream of whatever soup. It's part and parcel of friendship, and it's just as likely the one friend would visit with a Rand Paul bumper sticker on their car or I would visit the other friend's home for dinner and be served the mystery meal. It's life. So is this: I accepted a friend request from someone I knew from maybe 20-25 years ago. A pleasant chat and a surprise as he told me that he still remembers some kind things I did for him back then when his life was collapsing. Also heard from another friend who lost a few years to alcoholism and was now surfacing to contact the people in her life she found most important to her. Just this week. That's not every week. But Fb facilitated that and I'm happy about it.
I skim Fb a lot: as soon as I see the words Kardashian, Jenner, or you won't believe, I move to the next post. No passing Go, no collecting $200. I use very liberally the "Don't show me posts from ______" setting. I have ignored some friendship requests; I've accepted others and dropped them after maybe a week or two of non-stop screeds, "Sharing" every post they've ever seen, or always sharing ignorant posts (railing against some perceived issue that true facts long ago put to rest).
By all means, drop Facebook if you perceive it is of no value to you. Be concerned about the moving target that is Facebook privacy/security. But it's okay that some of us like it and use it happily because we don't let it control us.
My FB activity started out pretty small, and it's not large now by any means compared with the # of friends my kids are connected to (like many hundreds--how do you keep up on all THAT activity??).
But one thing I've noticed that because I've "liked" several organizations that have values I admire, I'm actually getting over saturated by the same messages over and over--even if I agree with them. I miss getting the mix of information you get in a regular New York Times. So I'm thinking of cutting back on my "follows"
I do get sick of the constant pithy, saccharine quotes. I get worried that our critical thinking has been reduced to "liking" 7 words superimposed on a photo. And I also scroll quickly past all those "If you love your daughter, share." "If someone you love passed on, share."
I, too, gave up social media (for Lent) and maybe that's why I'm less into it now. I love keeping up with what close relatives and friends are up to, and I hold onto it for that reason only, but those posts are becoming fewer and fewer while all the other clutter grows and grows.
As much as I'd like to "unfriend" a few people, I always feel bad about it, so I'd rather just block their posts from my news feed.
https://scontent-lga1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/11011546_10154532392002588_2015620008495121829_n.j pg?oh=b077e3eb3448568d42cc87aaed5078c2&oe=563A1C2D
This is an interesting thread to me. I can relate in some way to every posting made by all of you. Another pet peeve is I mentioned once I liked elephants and that my son and his wife had given me a behind the scenes visit with the elephants at a zoo b'day present. So guess what is constantly being shared on my timeline by well meaning friends. Yep, elephant pictures and stories. I know they mean well, but I am concerned others may think I am posting all of these elephant photos that are showing up in their newsfeeds. Also cat pictures. People know we have 4 cats and have fostered many strays. So all kinds of elephant and cat pictures are posted on my timeline by people who care about me. I also get a lot of "I love my sister" posts all the time.....sigh. I love my sister too, but its embarrassing for that to be continually showing up in other people's newsfeeds. I'm not good at saying "no more...." to people, so I will just grin and say thank you I guess.
ApatheticNoMore
8-9-15, 11:50am
I do get sick of the constant pithy, saccharine quotes.
oh yea, they are annoying. It's like life is not that simple. I mean crimney don't I wish life was that simple? Don't we all? I don't find that "inspirational" stuff (the pithy quotes) inspirational, more like depressing. But what do I find inspirational? Not much :~) Well I have a few quotes I keep and like. They are not on FB. I'm keeping them to myself :~)
Share this if you breath air!
Yea the conversation happens every few months, I never argue people must stay off. I just restate my main reason for doing so - @uckerberg and how the site is run. The fact I found it of minimal value just made quitting a bit easier. I mean you do know you don't actually SEE a feed of all that gets posted but whatever a random secret FB algorithm has determined you should see right? Does that really make any rational sense as a way to run such a site if the goal was the users? In theory you should see everything that posted that you aren't blocking right? Instead FB randomly decides what you see and you don't even know the criteria. You have read about FB and their mood experiments right? This amounts to basically involuntary experiments to manipulate users moods up or down by manipulating their feed. Again this wouldn't be possible if you just saw everything. But I don't even really think FB brings out the best in people socially.
I am using the Marie Kondo method of going through friends and all my likes on FB. It's really helping. And yes, I don't get the whole what I see based on what I click thing. I just want to know if LL Bean has a FB coupon, not posts for 300 similar brands that I should like. :)
ooh, I'm waiting to get that book again from the library, de-cluttering FB sounds much more fun than doing my closet!
I get so many of those saccharine, click here if your dead relative is an angel on your shoulder, tell 10 people and MAGIC will happen crap, but it's almost 99% of the time from someone I love, an older person who doesn't get no one wants to read these so I don't unfriend them. Some of them are actual IRL friends my age, they make make me feel like we've had a collective IQ drop in our 40s, this is NOT us, we are usually sarcastic witches, but alas, they have succumbed to being 75. I have followed way too many political and feminist groups, I have to cull those, I feel guilty but they have somehow taken over my newsfeed. I Feel the Bern, but can he keep his thoughts to one post a day, isn't that why you have PR? He probably doesn't, lol. Frankly, I am afraid to go back because FB tells me I'm up to like 900 notifications that I have no intention of ever, ever looking at, thus probably angering all the angel folks.
Catherine, Thanks for posting the article about Facebook and applying those principles to making friends in daily life---very funny and, unfortunately, often true. I remember when Twitter first started and I asked DH, "Why would anyone want to know where I stopped for coffee on my way to work, what I ordered, etc? Like many things, there are certainly some valid uses for social media. So far, though, I haven't found it necessary to use any to keep in touch with friends and family. Plenty of emails, texts, phone calls, and even occasionally write an actual letter.
Frankly, I am afraid to go back because FB tells me I'm up to like 900 notifications that I have no intention of ever, ever looking at
Click the globe icon (upper right, on the desktop version anyway) and click "Mark All as Read". Done. :) Gee, even some of those sappy sayings and manipulative Shares say something like "98% of you won't repost" -- so you're not disappointing them! :devil:
Apparently one of my friends is also tired of those inspirational posters because about a month ago he put this up on his wall: http://proteinfart.com/these-37-inspirational-fitness-quotes-over-drunks-will-make-your-day/
I only have a Facebook account due to family members and being the only connection I have to some people. Otherwise, that Facebook account would be gone in a heartbeat. Due to what I considered a privacy violation a couple years or so back, I went through and deleted every single post I ever made on Facebook (not too many) and barely ever look at it unless I need to get in touch with someone or they send me a personal message (rare). I really dislike Facebook and have a serious distrust of it. I might read some corporate, non-profit, or political facebook pages anonymously if I want to read something on there, but I would really prefer that these organizations keep this information on their own websites. I also never make comments on any forums or blogs that use Facebook for their comments. Just not a fan and ready to pull the plug completely once my only reason for keeping the account is gone.
Ultralight
8-10-15, 10:20am
I kicked Facebook and sometimes it is tough. But I have been clean for over a year now.
iris lilies
8-10-15, 10:30am
I kicked Facebook and sometimes it is tough. But I have been clean for over a year now.
But how do you become informed of new cat videos? :laff:
ToomuchStuff
8-10-15, 10:39am
Apparently one of my friends is also tired of those inspirational posters because about a month ago he put this up on his wall: http://proteinfart.com/these-37-inspirational-fitness-quotes-over-drunks-will-make-your-day/
Reads pretty close to most of the alcoholics I know.
The other day, one was B&Ming about how unfriendly it would be if they were tested on July 5th, because the 4th is a drinking holiday. The reason they are on probation, is they are under age.
Another one, did at least give up driving after having the first drink. The judge wanted him to give up drinking, to which he said no to (or more along the lines of AA is for quitters).
Ultralight
8-10-15, 10:40am
But how do you become informed of new cat videos? :laff:
lol! Yeah... I got rid of Facebook for the same reason I got rid of my cell phone. It was just driving me crazy. So annoying...
catherine
8-10-15, 11:35am
I'm amazed at how easy it is to download pictures other people post! Any picture that's posted can go right to your hard drive, printer, whatever. I'm going to a high school reunion next weekend and a friend posted a picture of a bunch of us the day after the prom, and I simply downloaded it and sent it to my daughter for fun. But what if I objected to a picture of me being out there for the world not only to see, but to own? I'm not a celebrity and I'm not into full access to my image, but you have NO control over that on FB, whether you're on it or not.
As soon as something hits the internet it's best to consider it available to the whole world for eternity. Deleting doesn't remove it completely.
freshstart
8-10-15, 1:07pm
Apparently one of my friends is also tired of those inspirational posters because about a month ago he put this up on his wall: http://proteinfart.com/these-37-inspirational-fitness-quotes-over-drunks-will-make-your-day/
I'm gonna try replying with one of these, every time i get one of those. Friend list culled and I didn't have to lift a finger, just flash drunkeness in the face of God
freshstart
8-10-15, 1:10pm
I'm amazed at how easy it is to download pictures other people post! Any picture that's posted can go right to your hard drive, printer, whatever. I'm going to a high school reunion next weekend and a friend posted a picture of a bunch of us the day after the prom, and I simply downloaded it and sent it to my daughter for fun. But what if I objected to a picture of me being out there for the world not only to see, but to own? I'm not a celebrity and I'm not into full access to my image, but you have NO control over that on FB, whether you're on it or not.
isn't there a thing to click to remove a picture you are tagged in? But if they don't tag you then what? It's enough to make you never what to have people take pics of your family
freshstart
8-10-15, 1:11pm
Click the globe icon (upper right, on the desktop version anyway) and click "Mark All as Read". Done. :) Gee, even some of those sappy sayings and manipulative Shares say something like "98% of you won't repost" -- so you're not disappointing them! :devil:
DONE, thanks
freshstart
8-10-15, 1:14pm
I just stuck my toe in the water thinking I will have no idea what people are talking about, what happened to whom, etc. It's like I never left, SSDD. I did move a whole bunch of people to acquaintances list so they only see what I want them to see. Defriended a few, why on Earth does that make me feel guilty?
freshstart
8-10-15, 1:32pm
ugh, less than 30 mins back on and my inbox is filling. Apparently an old college friend of mine, his 18 yo DD died of a heroin dose. I went to a small college so this is all over my college FB people. No matter how many times I am told I knew him well, I have zero memory, even with pictures. But I play along not willing to say my brain is mush now, I barely remember you guys, never mind your families. I think I was onto something pulling out of FB when my memory got so bad, I can't keep up, don't want to keep up (actually, with many, I very much do want to keep up). Maybe I need to move more people into acquaintances and the I will see so much less. I understand taking a pic of your meal at Nobu, but a burger and onion rings? Why?
ugh, less than 30 mins back on and my inbox is filling. Apparently an old college friend of mine, his 18 yo DD died of a heroin dose. I went to a small college so this is all over my college FB people. No matter how many times I am told I knew him well, I have zero memory, even with pictures. But I play along not willing to say my brain is mush now, I barely remember you guys, never mind your families. I think I was onto something pulling out of FB when my memory got so bad, I can't keep up, don't want to keep up (actually, with many, I very much do want to keep up). Maybe I need to move more people into acquaintances and the I will see so much less. I understand taking a pic of your meal at Nobu, but a burger and onion rings? Why?
I unfollowed a bunch of people recently and that helps a lot with the volume. Way less of those stupid "inspirational" quote things, too. Now I wish that certain organizations/businesses that I follow didn't post so much. Some of that stuff I want to see, but not everything. Too bad there wasn't a ranking system for posts. For instance, with news organizations, I want to know if there's a tornado warning, but I don't need to know that someone found their cat, or whatever the light-news story of the day is.
As soon as something hits the internet it's best to consider it available to the whole world for eternity. Deleting doesn't remove it completely.
Very true, but Facebook would still need to work extra hard to use anything I might have posted for advertising purposes or whatever other nefarious plans they have in mind for our content. Deleting one's info makes it a bit easier to use something belonging to someone else instead of mine. Nothing I've posted on the internet has ever been something I cared about going public, especially since I posted it all under "public" anyway, so that wasn't the issue for me. I just really dislike the way Facebook does business with all of the privacy violations.
freshstart
8-10-15, 5:51pm
Some of that stuff I want to see, but not everything. Too bad there wasn't a ranking system for posts. For instance, with news organizations, I want to know if there's a tornado warning, but I don't need to know that someone found their cat, or whatever the light-news story of the day is.
I wish you could say, "update me every three days" or even once a week, but of course then you would be the very last person on FB to know something and how could you possibly live with that, rolls eyes
iris lilies
8-11-15, 10:40am
I only go on FAcebook about once per month. It is weird how some people take pics of everything they eat, drink, etc. They must think they are celebrities!thumbsup!.
And shoes. People are taking lots of selfies of their shoes, on instagram, anyway. It makes me go ? hunh?
I don't have an Instagram account but see the images on the web.
SteveinMN
8-11-15, 12:33pm
But what if I objected to a picture of me being out there for the world not only to see, but to own? I'm not a celebrity and I'm not into full access to my image, but you have NO control over that on FB, whether you're on it or not.
Yes, you do. All it takes is to read (https://www.facebook.com/help/www/140906109319589) Facebook's own Help:
How do I remove a tag from a photo or post I’m tagged in? Hover over the story, click https://fbcdn-dragon-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfa1/t39.2365-6/851570_1414840005413198_2023594127_n.png and select Report/Remove Tag from the dropdown menu. You can then choose to remove the tag or ask the person who posted it to take it down.
You can also remove tags from multiple photos at once:
Go to your activity log (https://www.facebook.com/help/www/289066827791446)
Click Photos in the left column
Select the photos you'd like to remove a tag from
Click Report/Remove Tags at the top of the page
Click Untag Photos to confirm
Removed tags will no longer appear on the post or photo, but the post or photo is still visible to the audience it's shared with. People may be able to view the post or photo in places like News Feed or search results. To fully remove it from Facebook, ask the person who posted it to take it down (https://www.facebook.com/help/www/196434507090362).
It would not hurt anyone here on Facebook to stroll through Fb's privacy settings. They're no model for the Witness Protection Program, but there are ways of keeping people from putting pictures and posts on your Timeline without your okay, ways of limiting what non-Friends see, and more.
Of course, that does mean that some will have to reduce themselves to signing on to Facebook. Fortunately, you can cross out the parts of the user agreement that require you to post at least six times a day, including at least one post that requires people to Share if they've lived through some universal human event, and at least one post of some portion of your anatomy that you accidentally caught in the camera. :moon:
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