got my end of year review, not good

[Zoe Girl]

whew i knew that i was on the edge, some of it i honestly agree with but not other things. i bet that is typical. i am actually on an improvement plan this year instead of a middle of the road rating (meaning also no raise). that is pretty bad. Looking over the last few months personally and professionally, work and taxes i screwed up and other things. i guess i just have to take it and work on it. this year i am really going to insist on my regular meetings not be skipped (i haven't had one since March) not one of our meetings has included operations information and this year there is no training scheduled for us.

i did get to ask for ad even get one of the meetings i desperately need to get my job done. but it is going to be a really sh**y year starting off on an improvement plan.

[Float On]

Sorry Zoe. I'm sure that isn't fun and I bet you really wanted to ask if you could give your chain of command a "end of the year review" too so you could give them a "needs improvement" score. Were you allowed to say anything at all?

[freshstart]

I'm sorry, you work so hard there. Ours always had space to reply to anything negative so it's in your HR record. Then there were people who refused to sign it, IDK if that's the best choice, lol.

[Zoe Girl]

i am going to work on any reply, if that is reasonable, with my job coach this week. i know there will be a meeting to write my improvement plan with the supervisors. i did say a few things, i take up a lot of space here already so i didn't go into a lot of detail.

one comment was that i am too nice and get taken advantage of. so i have had several meetings with my supervisor cancelled and she has shown up late for at least 2. i have been super nice about those as much as i am nice to other people. that may be on the 'no way to say it' list. however i have to say something about the link between missing regular meetings and my issues in operational errors.

i know i could improve a lot but i would have appreciated knowing it was this bad months ago. maybe a full conversation about the big issue, which was the account for the homeless family that i kept pushing. the previous year the supervisor above mine said she had never turned a family away in her programs, my last supervisor was a champion for the lower income families. this time they gave them a 45% discount. So i assumed something was wrong, the scholarship person had no experience in grants. he worked with tuition based programs who do not have homeless students. i have both tuition and grants which means i am required to serve. so i turned in the paperwork 4 times, finally got them at $10 a month with no expulsion. then every single month someone asked me why they were attending with a $400 balance (the $10 a month was not applied until 2 months into the school year). so every single month i answered, the last time i copied in several people, quoted the law and the grant requirements and basically pissed everyone off. that of course came up in my review and i told my supervisor that every time i sent an email it was a response to someone who asked, 3 different people were asking and not talking to each other. i am debating on doing a history of the communication over the 2 years the family has been homeless to show that i wasn't just trying to be a jerk, the one sit down conversation i had my supervisor and i told the billing people we were not denying her services and then the next month i got the email from that supervisor asking why this child was attending.

[razz]

You know, ZG, it sounds as though you are being blamed for an operational deficit. Can you step back and look at the situation objectively and without feeling emotional or vulnerable? Can you develop an approach that would streamline your role for your supervisor/s? One that can work for you and meets their needs as well. Email, snail mail, fax or whatever it takes. It is really hard to be the scape goat for others' issues.

[iris lilies]

Yep, gathering old emails communications about a problem and resending over and over to re-familiarize supervisors with the issue--typical in the land of bureaucrats. Also, the regular missed meetings by supervisors --typical.

thats a good point to tie missed meetings to you not getting the information you need which affects your work. As far as the "being too nice" thing, I find that an ineffective comment. The example you give is your supervisor being late for, or missing meetings. you have no choice but to be polite about missed meetings, you have no authority to call her on the carpet. But you could ask for a reschedule outside of normal meeting time, if offer to come to her work site, or ? Just keeping the lines of communication open and making it clear that you value your meetings with her.

[Zoe Girl]

aaack, just deleted the entire thing I wrote. thank you so much for the support and feedback,. I agree with the too nice, what a great way to help me re-frame it. In general the too nice comment is not very helpful. Did I push for a scholarship and the family was taking advantage? was I too easy on staff?

so I reflected and realized that the point for going to various people about certain things was because I got multiple conflicting answers and because I had a big picture idea. I had made one of my goals the previous year around equity. I tracked my participants to show that I was serving people that represented the community through race, income and language. This year our department is not working on equity and my goals need to relate so I didn't write that goal but I did want to see if other people were interested in working on this. The example I used when asked was my homeless family and how the operations people for the tuition based program were not informed on this issue. So how could we create some work around sharing the differences and similarities across grant and tuition programs (and I am the crossover school so I thought that may be valued). In any case a large part of this was refusing to let a bill stand for a homeless family. That was long-winded, but I am working on if I can quickly and un-emotionally say something like "my intention in this was to offer to have a committee or a partner to look at the data around equity, both to celebrate and to challenge us"

That's what is making me cry, I was trying to bring in a strength, I felt like I was offering and was not understood or turned down or just did a poor job of communicating.

[Valley]

Anne, I want to ask you something...but, I want it to be heard as a kind question and not an attack on you. When you write messages, goals, and plans at your job do you write in the "free style" you use on this site?

I think that often times your ideas race ahead of your words, and in the end your message doesn't come across clear and succinct. Could your job coach work on this with you? You have wonderful aspirations for your program, I just think that you struggle in expressing them clearly. Do you think that your supervisors avoid meetings because they feel you (and they) continue to go round and round without any clearly stated goals of where you want to be, and how you propose to get there? Just a thought.

[Zoe Girl]

i don't take it badly Valley, and i do NOT write this way (or talk this way) at work. i try to balance not giving every detail here but also enough background to make sense of what i am saying. it is a struggle to get it just right however, and i try to look at my communication carefully because it is pretty obvious there is a gap in understanding. i know my ideas are super big, so this year i am writing mini-proposals for all of the new programs i want to run to supplement the numbers in my budget. i think that is helping me be more clear.

as for missing and being late to meetings my supervisor has this issue with everyone. other people have shared that she has cancelled many of their meetings and been significantly late to them. So maybe that is just a projection on her part, i just had her make a note on the form that i did not recall missed meetings.

[Zoe Girl]

i just got off the phone with a work colleague that literally healed part of this for me. she had this supervisor previously and was even her friend. i told her about my review and she just told me how great of a job i do and how to not let K's judgment affect the great job i know i do. She went on for awhile, this a very honest person, in fact her bluntness can get her in trouble at times. to me that means she is not going to say something that she doesn't mean to make me feel good.

She gave me some good tips about having meetings and documenting them also. i was concerned i may be in trouble more if i did that, but she said it actually made K more responsive and a better boss.

i can tell you all about the work i do and i can tell you about the mistakes. it is different to have someone who has worked with you for 5 years gush like this. i feel like i am not just full of myself for thinking i do a good job.

[Valley]

I'm glad that your colleague gushed over you. It had to be very affirming for you!:)

[Tammy]

I've found that when working in a bureaucracy:

1. My annual goals should be a reflection of the organization's goals
2. My work should be complete, but never above and beyond

There's something about bureaucracies that targets both low and high performers in a bad way. The high performers can easily be misunderstood as insubordinate in this type of system because when try to make improvements it comes off as questioning the system.

[Zoe Girl]

I've found that when working in a bureaucracy:

1. My annual goals should be a reflection of the organization's goals
2. My work should be complete, but never above and beyond

There's something about bureaucracies that targets both low and high performers in a bad way. The high performers can easily be misunderstood as insubordinate in this type of system because when try to make improvements it comes off as questioning the system.

ahh, that is interesting information. i always want to do something extra awesome. i did some great collaborative work and some of it pissed off people apparently. i asked permission to do the extra things. i really think the attempt i made at creating more collaboration around equity was not well received.

think and do quality average work this year! i think that is a good motto

[Simplemind]

Tammy you have hit the nail on the head. I have supervised both under and over achievers. I had one gal that worked circles around everybody else (loved her) but there was always a steady stream of traffic to my office complaining about her. Don't buck the status quo...............

[Zoe Girl]

can i ask what the complaints were Simplemind? i have a colleague i adore who ran 5 sites one year because she is so capable and she can really rub some people the wrong way. in reflecting and getting ready for this improvement plan meeting i realize that i have not been in trouble before this, frustrated yes, struggling with my boss yes, but i always have had a solid 3 on my review I struggle with the operations which is mentioned but not seriously, am well liked, staff give me rave reviews and my passion for my families is appreciated. i have never been in this much trouble at work in my life, and yeah i can see what was different this year and my a-ha moment at the end.

more stuff here, i went to my job coach and she is so wonderful. i had a great budget meeting with my supervisor, we negotiated some programs to an agreement. for me that is essential to getting my job done, but when you are trying to have that conversation without a meeting then it looks like i am just pushy instead of trying to negotiate.

major a-ha moment yesterday that may shed some serious light on this year. there are KC (parent tuition) and FF (grants) programs. the name of my program is FF however i charge KC rates and offer more than average scholarships. For the first 2 years my supervisor J would react if anyone referred to my program as KC, it was FF, i was in meeting with FF colleagues, i ran a FF style program in day to day operations. i had actually asked for more support around the operations and billing that i did KC style and was told no. So i developed work habits to make those connections myself and get my job done, since i am very independent it worked out. one part of this job was that the parent handbooks don't fit my program, i could not hand them a FF handbook that said $50 a semester instead of a fee schedule that went up to $250 per month. i got the word documents every year and cut and paste the financial information into the FF handbook. yes i told people i was doing this but i think my supervisor at the time was not paying attention because she kept on giving me FF handbooks and i would remind her i couldn't hand them out, it would happen 3 times typically.

so i asked about getting those documents this year and explained to my current sup and previous sup what i do every year. i had to ask again about this. what i got was a copy of the new handbook that meets the needs of all our programs and sticky notes with multiple underlinings saying "Anne you ARE NOT a FF program, you are KC,…" from my current sup. you know some of those scenes in The Matrix where reality shifts, yeah one of those. the entire year my current sup has been working in partnership with my former sup and had every reason to believe that i am a KC site, meanwhile i assume my previous sup still calls me FF. No wonder my pushing the scholarship process, being involved with my families, etc was taken so badly. tuition based programs are not at sites with adult physical fights, multiple social services calls, homeless families, etc. And how many other people understand me as a KC site? the issues with families and bills for FF never affect the rest of the group because they handle it independently, they authorize scholarships, they collect as much money as they can but no one is asking them to stop a child from attending, and they are appreciated for their caring and sensitivity in their role.

and after telling me to go directly to my current sup about everything (i asked for clearer communication lines) and we worked out the programs i wanted in my budget, i got a text last night from current sup telling me that the other one said no to the one i really negotiated for. So i guess i don't have one supervisor who can make all the decisions after all.

you guys are all so sweet, and i appreciate the challenging questions. i got this book throwing the elephant, zen and the art of managing up, i think it is really going to help.

[Tammy]

in my experience - people have complained to me about their peers who are high achievers because:

1. The high achiever goes above and beyond in one area while neglecting another task. So the peers have to pick up the slack for them day. The ignored work is often a boring or tedious task which the overachiever does not like or value, but which has to be done by someone

2. The over achiever has an attitude about being better than her peers

3. The overachiever storms out of a room, slamming the door, when he doesn't get his way

4. The overachiever uses passive aggressive communication styles to get his way

5. The overachiever is forever in the supervisors office complaining about peers who don't do their work up to her exacting standards. These standards are not policy, but rather a reflection of the higher standard that only exists in the overachievers mind.

[iris lilies]

in my experience - people have complained to me about their peers who are high achievers because:

1. The high achiever goes above and beyond in one area while neglecting another task. So the peers have to pick up the slack for them day. The ignored work is often a boring or tedious task which the overachiever does not like or value, but which has to be done by someone

2. The over achiever has an attitude about being better than her peers

3. The overachiever storms out of a room, slamming the door, when he doesn't get his way

4. The overachiever uses passive aggressive communication styles to get his way

5. The overachiever is forever in the supervisors office complaining about peers who don't do their work up to her exacting standards. These standards are not policy, but rather a reflection of the higher standard that only exists in the overachievers mind.

Excellent list. Can't add anything to it other than examples if the points you made, so no point in me making those additions.

Truly accepting the institution's goals as one's blueprint for work, and reflecting those goals back to supervisors in one's work, is good strategy for success.

[freshstart]

in my experience - people have complained to me about their peers who are high achievers because:

1. The high achiever goes above and beyond in one area while neglecting another task. So the peers have to pick up the slack for them day. The ignored work is often a boring or tedious task which the overachiever does not like or value, but which has to be done by someone

2. The over achiever has an attitude about being better than her peers

3. The overachiever storms out of a room, slamming the door, when he doesn't get his way

4. The overachiever uses passive aggressive communication styles to get his way

5. The overachiever is forever in the supervisors office complaining about peers who don't do their work up to her exacting standards. These standards are not policy, but rather a reflection of the higher standard that only exists in the overachievers mind.

all of this, even if you think you are not doing any of this, this is how your peers will see you. Earlier in my career, I joined committees, offered to represent us on councils, I naively thought I could help enact change. All of those committees and councils rarely, if ever, led to a change and I honestly believe management created them so staff would feel empowered, that they had a voice but they had no intention of doing anything with the work produced. And when I attended those meetings, my peers had to cover my patients, I'm sure they loved that. The last ten years, where I worked, there were no raises because of fiscal reasons or everyone got 2%, nothing based on merit. I finally had my a-ha moment (which sucks because you realize the company you work for is not the benevolent one you thought, but is just like every other company out there), I stopped all the nonsense. I worked hard and I did stand up for my patients, but I also kept my head down the rest of the time. In my reality, this was the type of employee they really wanted, not the one gung ho on "fixing" things, they wanted warm bodies and they did pay lip service to valuing the expert practitioners who worked extremely independently and did not "need" constant answers to questions or frequent supervision. (Yet when management changed, the experienced oldsters were booted for new grads, cheap new grads.)

That's where I think it would be good for you to strive to reach, become the expert at what you do, be someone peers can come to for advice. This will get noticed. It's not worth getting upset about things no one above you wants to change. I would only give input when you have found a way to save them a significant amount of money or you are asked for your input. It sucks, but this seems to be the new norm

[Zoe Girl]

all of this, even if you think you are not doing any of this, this is how your peers will see you. …. I finally had my a-ha moment (which sucks because you realize the company you work for is not the benevolent one you thought, but is just like every other company out there), I stopped all the nonsense. I worked hard and I did stand up for my patients, but I also kept my head down the rest of the time.

thank you and tammy very much. i can see that i struggle with the first one. Not that i think i am above certain boring or routine tasks but simply that i lose track of things. one part of my personal plan this year is to create more tracking systems checks and balances. in previous years when i have been evaluated as a 3 on a scale of 1-5 there was a lot more support. i had checklists we turned in and our monthly meetings had time to talk about operations. this year i got frustrated feedback from people when i tried to get clarification. i also have the super organized person who is willing to be a mentor on these things. so i kinda do #1, but it is just out of the difficulty i have and i am honest about it.

i am very sensitive to rude or un-professional behavior in the workplace and i cringed when i read the rest of the list. i have good feedback and high success rates managing really difficult situations. one bad one was having a staff screaming in my face over an incident that they were in trouble with, however i also that same year used most of my difficult situation skills with my supervisor. She listened to some of the conversations and others didn't get resolved, but i did not go to her supervisor or peers about any of it.

one of my realizations after this last year is that my training and skills in mediation are not what the organization is interested in. they are not interested in my wonderful ideas of fixing or improving or even having deep conversations. i basically think that we are simply interested in the money side (and as a grant based program i have a hard time figuring out what that means). So i was telling them how much it would impact a family to provide a service and then i heard that i cared too much for families or what the school wanted (the assistant principal is pretty upset that we did not get parenting classes). So my monthly conversations and reports will not include the impact on the families or the collaboration with the school even as much as that baffles me. (i will keep my own notes in case the culture changes)

[freshstart]

this all sucks for you and I am sorry. It's sad when it's pointed out to you or you realize innovation and bettering the quality of work, no one cares about. You're just a cog in the system. Your management sounds particularly bad. Can you work there without being driven crazy?

[Zoe Girl]

yes to some extent. most of my work and my days are spent at my specify after school site. so the people there and the kids and families are great. even the difficult ones are relatively easy for me. But administration is really rough, i can't read them, i can't figure it out and i made operations mistakes. at this point i am doing so badly that it is difficult to even ask for or get help where i need it. right now one boss is off for 2 weeks and the other is going to have a baby reasonably soon.

i told our assistant principal yesterday that i didn't get approval for the parenting classes i have been working on finding for the last year, a request from psychologist and social worker. it just costs money. so we may look at alternative funding but that makes me angry, i am looking to spend $500 and my budget is $6,000 and i already have 3 free programs on board. i am consistently told that i am too caring and involved with families and that i care too much about what the school wants. one thing i don't understand at all is they have me down as missing meetings and it was brought up that i am meeting with parents, going to registration events and other school based things. well this is the first year it has been a negative.

i am working with this, when i want to put in a program i am no longer talking about it the way i have, for parenting the school wanting it and parents needing it because they are involved with social services is apparently a bad pitch. maybe something like i have been trying for effective parent programming, there is no limit to the number of participants (means money), and it will increase engagement in future family programming.

[freshstart]

maybe something like i have been trying for effective parent programming, there is no limit to the number of participants (means money), and it will increase engagement in future family programming.

sounds good! I feel bad for you, you are stuck in a management nightmare when you clearly care about your job and getting the most for parents and kids. It stinks that society doesn't care about these things unless the almighty dollar is involved

[JaneV2.0]

sounds good! I feel bad for you, you are stuck in a management nightmare when you clearly care about your job and getting the most for parents and kids. It stinks that society doesn't care about these things unless the almighty dollar is involved

"Almighty dollar" was exactly the phrase that came to mind as I read Zoe Girl's post.
How's the mediation going, ZG?

[Zoe Girl]

mediation is slow. i have been working with my job coach and she is seeing all the work i do as mediation work. But i have not had many mediations with the volunteer services organization which is my way to get to enough hours to promote myself. i should be at 100 hours including the time to make calls, set up, write follow up documentation.

i could take some additional training or train myself and work with experienced people if i want to branch out into divorce mediation. that is really where a lot of practice and work is. i can also get hours at small claims court and that is also some limited hours. i requested to be on the calendar last month but there was not enough room. right now i am not thinking about putting more money into the training myself, the volunteer services called me specifically for educational cases so as school starts i may get some more calls.

my latest greatest thought on this is to specifically meditate grown children moving back home. the way the economy and world is i think we are going to have more multi-generational families. writing an agreement seems more appropriate than a counseling session because there is not something wrong in many cases.

[JaneV2.0]

I think you're on the right track.