View Full Version : INFP
Hello Everyone, I know I've been off the boards for a while. Everything is going well - not always all that simple sometimes, and we're not socking away mountains of cash now that the house is paid off, but I think, for a middle-income family, paying off the house has eliminated a lot of the stress we used to experience. I'd like to be more frugal still, for example, but I'm less angry about the $40 a bottle allertonic.
I know the list has rehashed Myers-Briggs a number of times, but I'm thinking about it again myself in terms of coming to terms with my own personality. I often have the experience of "If I could only just . . ." and "Other people seem able to _____ just fine. What am I doing wrong?"
I'm finally beginning to think that I am doing nothing wrong, it's just my way of being in the world.
I am an INFP. I like to joke with myself that I'm a high functioning INFP.
It bugs me that I am always in a panic about time. I work part time, for goodness sake! What is my f*****g problem? I have a long list of things that need to get done. The foam on our foam roof is exposed all over the place and I need to paint it. One of our windows has wood that is so dry rotted around it that we have shelf fungus growing in it. I need to do something to it, and I don't even know what. The pillars that hold our back and front porch roofs up need to be replaced. I can't find my garden for the weeds.
I have this idealized version of how I want things to be. Is it an INFP thing that keeps me from getting out there and making it so? I think it must be, but I need to learn to work with that. (I hate, by the way, having a list of things to do. As far as the house goes, I find myself thinking I would much rather be homeless, which of course is not true, but that is how frustrated I get with myself).
I think my main goal in life at this point is simply to float in an isolation tank on a mountain top somewhere for five years.
I realized, the other day, that I'm not really passive/aggressive. I'm actually passive/non-aggressive. We have one dog who is actually the first dog we have ever had that is at a good weight. My wife was talking to me at breakfast the other morning about how thin Jess is and how we need to switch her dog food and find something that she really wants to eat. I realized after breakfast that I had not responded to that part of the conversation at all. I didn't respond because my response is "She is at an ideal weight according to our vet. Science Diet is a pretty good food. Frugally speaking, I'd rather go with Ol' Roy from Walmart, but I really think we should stick with Science Diet and not try to fatten her up unless the vet sees something wrong with her weight." Why should I verbally disagree with someone? That might spark an argument, and my wife loves to argue. We are definitely a couple where we are both right - I'm just silently right, and she is verbally right. That seems very much an INFP trait.
Largely, though, I've been wondering here at 49 just what it is that I want out of the world. I don't often ask what I want. I do spend a lot of time worrying what other people want. It's hard because I think that I want absence - absence of things, absence of to-do lists, absence of infringements on my time. I just need quiet, space, and calm for a while. Unfortunately, I haven't found a way to make a really good living wanting quiet, space, and calm. I am spending some time at the Mountain Cloud Zen Center. It's lovely to sit in silence with a group of people.
The INFP write-ups all say that INFPs make good artists. Well, how do you do that, I would like to know. I'm 49. I have no debt, but I, as part of a we, have only about $3000 in savings. I would like to find something to do that would give me a bigger cushion and a little more leeway to go to the movies without feeling like I'm being ridiculously wasteful. I love most aspects of my current, part time, job, but I'm only making $17 an hour. I feel like my time, to me, is worth about $150 an hour. Ah well.
Any other INFPs out there? I think the profile for the INFP explains a lot of the frustrations I have, as well as most of my positive qualities.
I thought I would add that I am absolutely terrible at most routine jobs, both at work and at home. They just don't capture my imagination. "Things aren't supposed to capture your imagination," I tell myself. "You are supposed to just do them." At times working with myself is like working with a very stubborn, 5 year old, autistic person. (I find that I actually picked up the habit of flapping my hands when I'm frustrated from the period of time I worked with autistic adults in Vermont).
Hence the weed-filled garden, the flaking paint, etc. I do love to do the dishes, but bigger, long term routines just seem to slip right on past. I have to force myself at work to file things rather than let them pile up on my desk until they are spilling over. I don't have time to file things - I feel - though of course I do and things go more easily when I do.
I don't know if those are INFP traits or not.
Paul, maybe you are asking the wrong question. When I get too analytical, I find that simply getting the self out of the picture clarifies things. Get objective about it. Ask -What can some one with my talents and qualities contribute to this world? Ask around others if that is important to you. Make a list and then look at all that you do to see if you are doing them, where you can modify your activities and then let go of the whole struggle and enjoy being alive, savouring all that is good and going well.
lessisbest
8-21-15, 7:57am
All the personality types have to get out of their comfort zones occasionally. The personality type who functions well in chaos, BUT, has to be tidy at work can accomplish it, even though it's not in their nature to do so. But in their own private space, the home desk, garage, or closet is always a mess - and they don't want anyone messing with it because they "know where everything is" and this is how they function best. In your case, I bet you hate interruptions, especially something like a phone call, but we all have to deal with what we don't like, or are less comfortable with. As in the Red Green Possum Lodge Man Prayer - But I can change, If I have to, I guess - comes to mind.
It's been awhile since I taught the personality types, but a quick look through my teaching materials indicate an INFP need reflection and contemplation (that's the Introversion part of you), coupled with a preference for abstract, futuristic, imaginative perception of the world (iNtuition). You make decisions subjectively, based upon personal values (Feeling), but such decisions are more directed toward them keeping their own house in order than toward overtly controlling others.
I happen to be your complete opposite (ESTJ - the worst personality type for a woman, btw, much as yours is a bit of a struggle for a man). I'm the person who will help ground you to make a decision, when you need someone to listen to you and help you out. I have a dear INFP friend who often comes to me for just such grounding. It's like life is an endless cookbook of possibilities and she can't always decide what recipe to make. I'll help her do a "Ben Franklin close" on the possibilities to give her some direction - otherwise she'd either never get things started, or never see them to completion before starting something else. I'll be the person who asks....are you thinking about painting your house this year, because Sherwin Williams has a really good sale this week. Meaning -- you really need to take a look at your house - it needs painting. All the while I'm thinking - if you wait one more year, you'll risk damage to your siding.... While you're thinking, there just isn't enough time I can give to the task to get it done properly --- maybe in the spring! I'll give you a "Round-To-IT" for Christmas as a joke about your personality type, and you'll either be insulted, or take it as a gentle reminder that some things just need your attention (do-it-now), not your contemplation.
If you find yourself under too much pressure, you'll tend to shut down, so you'll work best without a lot of pressure. A nagging wife, mother, boss, will be the death of you. You'll set a goal, rather than a deadline. The fact that you are "voicing" some of your issues on a message board is pretty interesting in and of itself.
I've found in many service groups I've been involved in, an INFP makes a wonderful vice-president, but when they (often automatically) become the next president, they are pulled away from the matters of the heart they were better at and more comfortable attending to, as a vice-president. They often are out of their comfort zone and don't like the "politics and administration" of the position as president and don't always enjoy the year as president.
What you call "high-functioning INFP" is your easygoing, flexible and adaptive lifestyle (Perceiving). The personality type who REALLY believes in "live and let live." You are also good at severe self-criticism - but aren't as judgmental towards others. There is never enough time, the job is never done quite right, so why bother, or why not wait until the time is "right". INFPs also tend to cut themselves off from the very people who are attempting to help, instead of gaining their insight. When you get stuck in the world of idealism, you occasionally need someone to point out "good nuff" works too, occasionally.
Not sure if any of that is helpful, because it really takes more than a quick assessment on a message board to answer all the things we seek answers for.
i am INFJ and thank you for sharing this. i am struggling with some serious issues and this was very helpful, i think there is strong overlap.
i think i share the strong self criticism and some of the not getting started to get things done (the J really gets me going to get things done). and i think i share the sensitivity to others as lessisbest said. i am learning right now that i don't need to take everyone's opinion so hard. i had an awesome work colleague who encouraged me to see how a supervisor only saw part of what i do and that the positive feedback other places was also as relevant. and i am learning that i can speak up in really positive ways so that i am not stewing over it for a long time. Asking questions or simply saying 'tell me more' gets me out of that loop where i won't say anything but i will obsess over it for a long time. difficult? yeah because i am responsible for peace in the world!
hope that helps a little,
Lessisbest - Your friend sounds a lot like me, which is one of the things I like about the Myers-Briggs. When I was growing up, I felt completely isolated. I really was not like any of my friends or anyone I knew for that matter, (though I suspect my father may have been similar. He liked nothing better than to sit in a deer stand all day, or on the banks of a pond with a fishing pole. Evidently my grandfather, and my great-grandfather were the same way). I took the Myers-Briggs in high school, and when I read the description of the INFP I thought "Oh!" I feel less isolated when I hear from other INFPs, or even about them.
I'm not really looking for help, I'm just jumping in with some self-reporting.
One thing that I feel plagues me in a funny way is that I am very competent when I do undertake to do things. At work, right now, I am starting to become the guy that other offices shift their catering arranging to when they become busy. I hate, hate, hate arranging catering, but I do it well. I think I internalize it and become personally responsible (Float On, if your son is coming to St. John's, I hope you enjoy the post convocation lunch, which reminds me I haven't yet talked to the catering manager about having a few vegan sandwiches on hand for the vegan who requested it) - I don't really have the terminology for the psychic burden. But I worry about how the food will turn out, whether the vegetarian options the kitchen comes up with are actually palatable, (and actually vegetarian). There are vegans, gluten free people, paleo people. The actual mechanics of the job are easy. I get food preferences from people, and I put the order in with the campus catering company. But when it's my job to arrange the catering for something, I feel, emotionally, as if I have personally invited all of these people to my house, and I have to make sure everything is right, and I don't want these people in my house, (metaphorically speaking) in the first place. I want to be out walking in the woods somewhere.
The same thing happened when I arrived at college. I got a job washing dishes. I loved washing dishes. Within two weeks, they "promoted" me to cook. I hated cooking. I was suddenly responsible for the happiness of all the people eating. I think my dream job right now is sitting in a pottery studio throwing pots, though I wouldn't want to have to deal with selling them, or buying supplies, or renting the space, etc.
My coworker in the office, whom I love working with, has a husband who sounds similar to me in terms of his struggle with getting things done, though he researches things to death. I have trouble getting started, and he has trouble finishing. She has a "honey do" list. THAT would make me crazy. The approach that lessisbest takes is the only one that really works with an INFP - gently nudging and joking. Things have to percolate around in my psyche, and they eventually reach the boiling point, and I do them. I really wish I just did them without all the percolating, but that seems to be the way my psyche works.
Paul, I am an INTP, but it's not a very strong "T", so I can empathize with most of what you wrote. If there's value in telling you that you are not alone, you are not alone.
As for what I want out of the world, I have to admit that I've become comfortable with not knowing. I often tell people that, when I was college age, if I told people I wanted to be a Webmaster for a career, they would have thought I'd be an entomologist. Opportunities arise and disappear all the time and I was never the type who knew what he wanted to be since he was a kid. Too many things interest me; I'm too much of the world.
I do mostly want peace.
One of the things that drove me craziest on my last career-type job was being totally interruption-driven. I often said that my job could go from "normal" to ridiculous in two minutes and stay that way for twenty minutes or two weeks. HATED it. No time to reflect or contemplate or -- in my mind, at least -- do the job with the quality it deserved.
At home, DW and I try to keep things calm. There are far more knickknacks on flat surfaces since DW moved in. But there is no TV in our bedroom. Almost all of our banking and lending is done with our credit union, cutting down on paperwork. We are electronic whenever we can be, further cutting down on paperwork. We strive to keep it simple, even if sometimes it means going without a nice-to-have, "settling" for a less-than-optimal product, or paying a little more. It's a goal we've set for ourselves; what we keep reaching for even if we can't always grasp it.
I hope that helps.
I see quite a bit that is familiar here--especially the thinking about the perfect life that I have absolutely not the slightest chance of achieving, and the steps it would take exhaust me, and frankly, so does the activity of thinking. I've finally decided that I have all the art supplies I will need for my perfect next life, but no way to get them there. :~) I am an INTJ, heavy on the T, with the metabolism of a corpse. You can see that the metabolism might interfere...When I think of an ideal job, the Oracle at Delphi comes to mind. I feel your pain, but I'd be a hypocrite to offer advice that I don't follow myself.
Interesting, as I just took myself in hand over many of the same issues yesterday. As with most things, I think this can go back to parenting. I was raised with a couple of messages: 1. you don't deserve more and you certainly don't deserve to relax, because you already have it too good. 2. Don't go resting on your laurels, there's always something else you could be doing or worrying about. Internalizing these messages has led me to a place at age 52 where I'm just constantly dissatisfied with everything, I feel obsessed with listing and analyzing, and I feel like I spend time hiding from that endless to-do list in a way that looks like "relaxing" but really fills me with even more anxiety.
For the next three weeks, I decided, I'm going to have some very concrete goals and rules. No long analysis of anything, whatsoever. No journal and no self talk. Do something pointless and enjoyable every day. Lose weight. No specific number but surely in 21 days I should be able to budge the scale. No alcohol. I've outlined three projects that are straightforward and should fit reasonably into the time frame. Nothing else is allowed on that todo list for three weeks. Basically, I'm trying to get out of my head, and unwrap some of the perfectionism, the feeling of being overwhelmed by a tome-like todo list made up of both the necessary, the completely arbitrary and the wistfully impossible. I need to actually move the molehill and ignore the mountain.
I've learned to celebrate achieving tiny incremental goals; self-flagellation is pointless.
I'm an NFP - although I am somewhere in between an I and an E. Probably a very moderate E, I enjoy social interactions but don't need them and do need alone time and can happily fill my social needs within my own immediate family, including my pets and my daily walks and chats with neighbors.
However, having grown up in an environment where I had to be highly self-sufficient at a very young age and enter the workforce young, I have highly developed ESTJ skills. For a long time, it created a split in which I was highly efficient and productive at work, and my home life was a mess. It took me some time to reconcile and appreciate the balance that these complimentary skills and abilities bring me. I have embraced the gift of duality! Now I can savor the beauty of the fluttering shadows of the tree leaves through soft afternoon light, while I clean my house and get things done. :) And the satisfaction of accomplishment is very, very sweet. I'm enjoying the challenge of tackling new projects, gaining new skills, and taking ownership of my life in a way that I didn't feel before.
In many ways, the strong focus on the "ideal" and "dream" life is a luxury that we Americans can indulge because we have the resources (time, money, health, etc) to do so. But this leads to so much dissatisfaction that it hardly seems a luxury at all. More like a curse. My early poverty and struggles has allowed me to be grateful for what I have, so my NFP has remained somewhat in check, balanced by pragmatism. One of my close friends is an INFP and I had to make the difficult decision to spend less time with him because being around him was so depressing. Nothing was ever good enough. The beautiful home that most people in the world could only dream of: a dump. The lovely, tree-lined, safe, clean street where he lived, next to a nature hiking trail: stiffling. The highly-coveted job that few can attain anymore: a drag. And it wasn't that he had any plans to change anything, or ideas of how to make his life more to his liking, it was that nothing was ever enough. No matter what it was.
I think that as we age we have the opportunity to become more balanced, to develop the skills and abilities that can make our lives better, us wiser and more mature.
I've learned to celebrate achieving tiny incremental goals; self-flagellation is pointless. Pointless but very ingrained and automatic in some people. It's good to see it and stop it.
ApatheticNoMore
8-21-15, 12:09pm
For the OP some of the enneagram books might be helpful (enneagram scores do pretty much match up to Meyers Briggs though that whole enneagram organization seems more culty), since they seem to discuss how a type functions when it is functioning well (high functioning :)) or poorly (which one is functioning at depends on the person and the circumstances - a series of tragedies say could push anyone to low functioning for awhile).
Note I have NOT read the books so this isn't much of an endorsement, they may suck, it's just the ideal I've heard expressed resonates and seems perfectly sensible to me, to aim for the better functioning of one's type (maybe mid-functioning is all one can do today), and at best functioning one tends to transcend type and take on more of the mid-high functioning of all types. I do think one can become too obsessed with the whole typology thing though :) Does one struggle because one's type, or just because life is difficult! I do think sometimes there can be a bad fit between one's personality and external circumstances though, especially in jobs. I'm an INTP btw.
I've learned to celebrate achieving tiny incremental goals; self-flagellation is pointless.
yes. but self-flagellation is so tempting .... but as I was reading we expect more than can quickly be achieved with one's personality, what requires patient work at, I'm just like blah I should be able to turn on my willpower and be 100% over with this already, so sick of my personality already ....
catherine
8-21-15, 12:13pm
I'm INFP. But I'm also 63, 14 years older than the OP. That, much more than my Myers-Briggs, has settled a lot of fears and anxiety about "who I am." Age is the best tonic for self-doubt I've learned.
Paul, I identified with some of the behaviors you mentioned, but not sure if it's all linked to the INFP profile. I personally identify with the Idealist/Healer/Teacher aspect of the INFP profile. Yet, I've made money doing just regular stuff that makes good money. You can be an artist, and not feel bound to a low salary. I love Joseph Campbell but I think people don't use his "Follow Your Bliss" message all that wisely sometimes. If you have a family, and you have to eat, sometimes you do boring stuff and follow your bliss on the weekend. You just do what you have to do. I don't know if that's INFP, but that's how I've lived my life. I second what razz said.
O (Float On, if your son is coming to St. John's, I hope you enjoy the post convocation lunch, which reminds me I haven't yet talked to the catering manager about having a few vegan sandwiches on hand for the vegan who requested it)
My dad offered to drive us out, my husband can't come. I'm not sure yet how long we're staying for the activities during move-in time. I know I need to get back to work and since we're driving it may be a "drop off and go" sort of day instead of staying a few days. Though every time I've been there they have taken great care of the parents and always kept us well-fed.
I need to actually move the molehill and ignore the mountain.
I need to have this printed in large letters and hung someplace very visible. Thank you for that statement. It's very apt advice.
Haven't read all the responses yet, but I'll get to it! I will! INFP here, but I function as an ENFP. All of my jobs have required the "E", and I'm very good at it. Very much so at church as well ... very social. But I LOVE and NEED my alone and quiet time. DH, on the other hand, is ISTJ, who also functions as ESTJ. Things can be very interesting at times. But we've been together 53 years, married 50, so something is working. But he does drive me crazy, much more so as we age ...
We're packing for short vacation, so will get back to this .........
I asked my wife what her type was, and she's an INTJ. I have not had time to look far into it, but it might be a clue as to our minor frustrations with each other. (i.e. she likes to write everything down on a list, which drives me crazy, and I rarely buy everything on the list when I go shopping, which drives her crazy )
I asked my wife what her type was, and she's an INTJ. I have not had time to look far into it, but it might be a clue as to our minor frustrations with each other. (i.e. she likes to write everything down on a list, which drives me crazy, and I rarely buy everything on the list when I go shopping, which drives her crazy )
Well if you are not buying everything she asked you to buy then maybe you didn't remember it? So she put it in writing so you wouldn't forget.
And still you don't bring everything home?
Do you think she has nothing better to do with her time than write a list? Do you think she does it because she's bored? Because she is manipulating you?
She took the time and effort to write a list to make your errand easier and you just threw her efforts in her face by not obtaining the items she has requested?
If you are going on the errand to get the stuff then you should get the stuff.
(exception being if it's out of stock, or other agreed upon decision such as price)
Why do you not obtain these requested items? Passive-aggressive behavior at being provided a list?
Disclaimer: I'm an INTJ list loving maniac who is a working visual artist creating installation and public art pieces. If you want art to be a priority then figure out how to make it happen.
I asked my wife what her type was, and she's an INTJ. I have not had time to look far into it, but it might be a clue as to our minor frustrations with each other. (i.e. she likes to write everything down on a list, which drives me crazy, and I rarely buy everything on the list when I go shopping, which drives her crazy )
Honestly, two people who live together are going to have minor frustrations with each other a LOT.. and sometimes major frustrations. Nothing to do with Myers-Briggs--everything to do with just living and loving. The answer isn't in analyzing MB, the answer is in communication and respect--and acceptance.
I can see where if I carefully made a list and then the designated shopper ignored it without a good reason, that would create problems. A couple of instances of this, and I'd do the shopping myself. But perhaps that's the idea. I'm with Dhiana.
We would go broke and hungry if she did the shopping herself. I'm usually so focussed on what I will be cooking for the week that I miss something on the list, or I don't think to look at it until after I've done the shopping or there is something that does not feel immediately essential so I put it off until I am over at that particular store. It's not a passive aggressive move on my part.
My wife and son did the grocery shopping this week because I was repairing the roof. It was a beautiful gesture, and I appreciate it deeply. However, she always gives me a hard time about not cooking enough vegetables. I asked what we should eat tonight, and she said "steak," but she added, "but we ate the cucumbers yesterday.". The two of them spent over $200 at the grocery store, and cucumbers were the only vegetable they bought. (Since humor does not come across on the internet, I should add this should be read with a great deal of humor. Think Erma Bombeck. You just can't send your spouse and children off to the store and expect them to come back with food )
I think the problem is that the list isn't agreed upon by both parties before anyone even sets foot in the store. No list is going to solve that issue.
For what it's worth, I'm an INTJ and only occasionally make lists, but when I don't make them, everything's there in my head and I rarely forget anything I've planned on getting. I'm only shopping for myself though, so I'm not having to try remembering what someone else wants.
I usually have everything in my head, unless I have made a complicated menu for the week. Sometimes I write a list, but then the list, after being written down, is largely in my head. I always grab the list on the refrigerator, and I mean to check it, but grocery stores are such - I don't know - "high pressure" doesn't describe it, but trying to get by all the people and get to the things you want is stressful. It's hard to remember the list, much less find a quiet, out-of-the-way spot to look at it. (By the way, I hate having my personal space invaded. Who are those people who lean right in front of you to grab something? And conversely, who are the people reading every single label of every block of cheese in Trader Joe's while you are waiting patiently by for them to finish so you can grab a random chunk of cheddar?)
There's an underlying style difference in the way my wife and I conduct our grocery lives that I did not understand for many years. I'm fine with running out of things. And I'll find substitutes or not have that thing until the next time I happen to remember it when I'm shopping. Exaggerating only slightly, my wife responds to running out of something with blind panic. (I notice when I'm with my in-laws, that they go to the grocery store almost daily. When I was growing up, once something ran out, it was gone until the next weekly trip to the store, though I think it is more of a personal characteristic than a family trait.
Out of milk? Dust off the soy milk maker and make soy milk. Learning that my wife does not work that way was a big step forward in our marriage, and at almost twenty years in, I'm not as impatient with it as I used to be.
(By the way, I hate having my personal space invaded. Who are those people who lean right in front of you to grab something? And conversely, who are the people reading every single label of every block of cheese in Trader Joe's while you are waiting patiently by for them to finish so you can grab a random chunk of cheddar?)
The people leaning right in front of you probably are trying to get out of that place as quickly as possible -- especially in the case of Trader Joe's, which, in my experience, is crazy full pretty much anytime outside of normal working hours. Or (not saying this is you but I encounter it frequently) the someone they're leaning across has stopped him/herself dead in the middle of the aisle without any thought that there might be someone who wants to get around them (and their cart) or might be another person looking to buy an item in the same shelf.
This same lack of awareness causes the obliviousness when reading labels. It may be a social behavior -- I experienced this much more when I lived in major Eastern urban areas than I ever have in the Midwest. I mention it as one of the big day-to-day differences in living in either place. In New York, you observe who got there before you and, when it's your turn, you belly up to the counter for service (heaven help you if you're not ready to order). If you don't take your spot, someone else will! Here in the Midwest, though, it's almost as if the people who work at counters have been trained to look around for who might be on the other side of the counter, even if no one was there a moment ago. Kinda nice, actually.
I'll usually wait for a moment to see if the person will find what they are looking for and get out of the way, but if they just keep standing there and it takes me only a couple of seconds to get what I want (which is the usual case for me since I typically know exactly what I want and where it is before setting foot in the store), I'll offer a "please excuse me" and go ahead and get it. I hate grocery shopping and yes, want to get out of there as soon as possible, especially if it's in a big box type store like Walmart. Even though we have nice ones in my area, it's still too overwhelming for me to stay in there for too long even when it's not that crowded.
I will say that I also hate cooking, so if I ever got so lucky for someone else to be doing my cooking, they could go into the store and buy anything they wanted to cook (within agreed upon budget) just so long as I didn't have to do it. :)
I am that person standing in front of the massive choices reading all the labels. Having lived overseas for 10 years it's all new to me. Even products that have stayed the same, the packaging is different so I have to still read all the labels.
And do the math on my smart phone.
And check my Price Book on my smart phone.
I am very much aware that I am in the way and try to move as much as possible but seriously ask yourself;
Where should I be to read these labels?
Try not to be upset with your fellow customers, be disgusted in the stores who spend so much time and money on merchandising and layout and quite ignore what the realities are for a their customers. Too narrow of aisles creating overcrowding and an overall negative experience.
I hate shopping for all the same reasons you do and it feels like a battle every time I enter a store. But I am putting up the good fight as best I can for the physical and financial health of our household. Same as everyone else.
be disgusted in the stores who spend so much time and money on merchandising and layout and quite ignore what the realities are for a their customers. Too narrow of aisles creating overcrowding and an overall negative experience.
Though I prefer the coöperative model of retail sales, I have had occasion to step into a couple of local Whole Foods stores. Aside from their popularity in this neighborhood on weekends, every one of the WFs I've been in insists on putting merchandisers in the aisles and stocking even when the store is really busy (huge cart blocking a good chunk of shelf space). It just makes a not-great environment a trying experience besides. I'll ding my own coöp, too -- for years they put the water-jug filling station right at the entrance to the store, next to the produce section and the shopping baskets. Obstacle course. A store reset (and notes to management) fixed that.
It would be nice, though, if people were a little more aware of what's around them and/or weren't so preoccupied. It's not just stores: people drive that way, can't read the signs that divide walking paths from bike paths, etc.
I've never been able to fully appreciate Trader Joe's for just that reason. It's always full of shoppers, so when I finally get to the cheese case there are always twelve people trying to nudge me out of the way...I usually go in the early daytime; if there's a lull in the action, I don't know when it is. I don't mind shopping at all as long as I'm relatively alone. Which is the INTJ in me, I'm sure.
HI, PC
I'm an INFP, too.
The types of jobs I liked best were ones when I was not an employee. When younger, I was a free-lance bookkeeper. I made $45/hr going to offices for data entry, report printing, and discussions with the owners re the print outs. I didn't mind the work and everyone left me alone. No phone duty = very few interruptions. I also did freelance mobile specialized notary work when real estate was hot. Made $75 - $250/hr depending on type of work. (Not a good time for this now.) Appointments were rarely over an hour and I thoroughly enjoyed the clients.
All this to say, you might find a type of work that pays better and suits your INFP self better.
To learn what this might be, go to your local WorkSource office. You enroll for free and get a card. Then you go through an assessment interview using special software they created. Takes over an hour and it's really interesting - it's all about you! Then you get a free appointment with a counselor who knows your local economics and training possibilities. Bring your INFP info with you (or just print out your original post in this thread - it's really good).
What often motivates INFPs are having a cause or ideal.
In the past, I kept my income-work separate from my volunteer-work. Now I integrate them. Both ways are good.
I'm still freelance (no more office employment for me!) but work excites me now because I am helping people all the time. Plus I do some volunteer work. It's part of my social life. And I only do chores I like and never attend meeting with more than 4 people.
And I craft and donate the items for auction by fundraisers. Fun and I get a tax deduction.
Good luck!
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