Wedding Rings

[kib]

If you're married or in a permanent partnership, do you wear a ring? I just read someone's comment that they & spouse have rings but don't like to wear them. DH and I are much the same, we have matching ornate gold bands but it's catch as catch can. Sort of an inside joke; we have different last names, so if one of us puts on our ring when we go out and the other doesn't, it looks sort of illicit. We'll ask, "are you married?" and hold up our hands.

[catherine]

Yes, I wear my ring. It's pretty simple--it's one of those rings that looks like a puzzle: 3 very slender rings intertwined. I never take it off. There was a period of time when I did take it off--a very passive-aggressive statement on how I felt about our marriage, but we weathered that storm and I've worn it every day ever since.

DH lost his. (Hope he's not making a statement!)

[rodeosweetheart]

We wear ours--he is on number 3 I think, and sometimes I take mine off when my arthritis is flaring and my hands swell.
If I get really mad, I'll take it off and see how that feels for a while.
IO'd like to add a stone to mine, which I had designed--it's a nice gold band with celtic oak engraving. He lost his, so he's on a Celtic silver one now.
They are a nice width and white gold.

[sweetana3]

Wore one for over 20 years then started having some hives (allergy issues) that caused my hands to swell unexpectedly. Have not worn a ring since and it has been 20 years. Saw no difference either way.

[iris lilies]

during gardening season I wear a simple gold band with tiny diamonds. Its a vintage ring I bought last year. In the winter I will pull out my engagement ring and/ or my antique family ring to wear.

DH doesn't wear his due to safety in operating machines.

[lessisbest]

I jammed my ring finger playing a pick-up game of basketball with my son and husband (et al) at the YMCA years ago. I haven't been able to wear my engagement/wedding ring set since I had the rings cut off my finger, even after I had them repaired. My finger was much larger after that and the ring couldn't be made larger. I can wear my 25th Anniversary band, but I rarely do.

I just really don't care for jewelry these days. I'm always working with my hands (garden, kitchen, knitting, crocheting, typing).... and don't like rings getting in the way. I lost the diamond out of my engagement ring once and found it in the carpet shortly after I discovered it was missing and had it repaired. So you see, I'm pretty hard on my rings.

Three years ago I had the diamonds removed from my engagement ring, and from my deceased mother's ring, and had them put into a pendent for a nice necklace for our daughter's 40th birthday. I gave my only granddaughter my grandmother's engagement ring for her 18th birthday. Then I let her take her pick of anything that was left and sold the gold/silver pieces for cash and purchased some solar panels with them.

[Float On]

DH has always worn his but on his right hand due to glassblowing and other equipment. I started out with mine on my right but after knocking the setting off 3 times I moved it to my left so it stacks with my anniversary band. Honestly, I'd get rid of the diamond engagement ring and anniversary band if DH wouldn't get so upset about it.

[Kestra]

Back when I was married I wore mine all the time - a pretty simple band, no engagement ring. Ex-DH didn't wear his - safety was definitely a concern, but I don't think he really liked to wear it anyhow. (Not a comment on the relationship, just not a jewelry person.)

I still have my ring and I'm wondering what to do with it. It took me a long time to pick out that ring and I really like it, just as a ring. Separation is too fresh to wear it on my right hand. Would it be weird to wear the same ring in another relationship/marriage? I kind of want to do that, but not if the guy thought that wasn't right. I just like that ring a lot.

[catherine]

An ancillary question: do you NOTICE when other people don't wear theirs? I never do, but some people always are the first to say, "So Janet's engaged! Didn't you notice the ring?" No, I never notice.

During the time I was not wearing my ring, I got gas on the way to work. Here in NJ many gas stations are owned and operated by Middle Eastern people. I must have mentioned something random to the gas attendant (here in NJ we also have gas attendants) about "my husband" because he chided me, telling me that if I'm married, I should be wearing a ring. That was a first.

[Float On]

I still have my ring and I'm wondering what to do with it. It took me a long time to pick out that ring and I really like it, just as a ring. Separation is too fresh to wear it on my right hand. Would it be weird to wear the same ring in another relationship/marriage? I kind of want to do that, but not if the guy thought that wasn't right. I just like that ring a lot.

A friend when divorced gave the engagement ring back to her ex. He then used it as an engagement ring for his next wife...without telling her it was his ex's. She learned from the children who wanted to know why she was wearing their mom's ring. Very awkward and wife #2 felt like a replacement and not special. Really hurt her feelings.

Is it the setting you like or the stone itself? Having a ring made into a pendant or replacing the stones with something different or changing the setting and adding stones so it's completely different might be a thought. But I wouldn't wear it to represent two different marriages.

[JaneV2.0]

I've worn a narrow gold band with diamonds since it was given to me for Christmas some thirty (?) years ago, not long after we started dating. I couldn't get it off now if I wanted to, which I don't. I have other jewelry (ooh, shiny!), but the little band is pretty much all I wear.

[Alan]

When we married, we exchanged cheap simple gold bands. I wore mine continuously, but my wife took hers off due to excessive swelling when she became pregnant. By the time our daughter was a toddler, she still hadn't put it back on before dear daughter toddled up to her jewelry box, retrieved said ring and flushed it down the toilet.

When same daughter was 19 or so and took a job at a high end jewelry store, we decided to do a two-fer: Replace our wedding rings while ensuring DD made her first month's sales quota. I now wear the original on a chain around my neck and the replacement has never left my finger. My wife still doesn't wear hers, citing fear that the big-assed diamond will fall off.

I'm beginning to wonder if after 39 years, she's really just not that into me.

[Kestra]

A friend when divorced gave the engagement ring back to her ex. He then used it as an engagement ring for his next wife...without telling her it was his ex's. She learned from the children who wanted to know why she was wearing their mom's ring. Very awkward and wife #2 felt like a replacement and not special. Really hurt her feelings.

Is it the setting you like or the stone itself? Having a ring made into a pendant or replacing the stones with something different or changing the setting and adding stones so it's completely different might be a thought. But I wouldn't wear it to represent two different marriages.

It's just a band with a braid-pattern that I like. No stone. People wouldn't automatically assume wedding ring, I don't think, if I wore it on my right hand. But if I was in a relationship then that still would probably seem weird. Jewelry has such a minimal re-sale value; but I guess I'll probably do something with it eventually. At least a ring is a small possession to lug around.

[iris lilies]

When we married, we exchanged cheap simple gold bands. I wore mine continuously, but my wife took hers off due to excessive swelling when she became pregnant. By the time our daughter was a toddler, she still hadn't put it back on before dear daughter toddled up to her jewelry box, retrieved said ring and flushed it down the toilet.

When same daughter was 19 or so and took a job at a high end jewelry store, we decided to do a two-fer: Replace our wedding rings while ensuring DD made her first month's sales quota. I now wear the original on a chain around my neck and the replacement has never left my finger. My wife still doesn't wear hers, citing fear that the big-assed diamond will fall off.

I'm beginning to wonder if after 39 years, she's really just not that into me.

yeah, I think she's waiting for something better to come along.

:D

[iris lilies]

I will also confess that since this IS St. Louis, I have had, off and on during crime sprees, a fear of losing my engagement ring or my family ring in a mugging. It's just better to not give the perps a reason to be interred in me.

[Kestra]

I will also confess that since this IS St. Louis, I have had, off and on during crime sprees, a fear of losing my engagement ring or my family ring in a mugging. It's just better to not give the perps a reason to be interred in me.

That's one of the reasons I didn't want an engagement ring. When I'm walking/busing in rougher areas I try not to look rich in any way.

[SteveinMN]

Both of us do. My ring is actually made of sterling silver, a little gold, and wood. DW's is three small gold bands that fit together (well, two now; we'll probably find band #3 when we move out). We're kind of not the traditional couple and I didn't want traditional rings.

Because I know I can be hard on jewelry, I do take off my ring when I'm cooking/washing/working with tools. Otherwise it stays on. DW tends to wear hers all the time except if her fingers swell or if she's applied lotion. Then it can take a couple of days before it goes back on.


do you NOTICE when other people don't wear theirs? I never do, but some people always are the first to say, "So Janet's engaged! Didn't you notice the ring?" No, I never notice.
I don't tend to notice either. First, many men just don't wear wedding rings (for various reasons). Second, it seems a little odd for me as a married man to notice if another woman is wearing an engagement/wedding ring ("Why are you looking?"). However, I have befuddled the occasional store clerk by observing a very bright obviously-new ring and offering congratulations on her upcoming marriage. :D

[Selah]

I bought DH's simple gold band off the internet. He loves it and wears it all the time--we chose it together. We bought my engagement ring and wedding band (at the same time) from a pawn shop on W. Charleston in Las Vegas! It honestly looked and felt like it had never been worn, like someone planned to propose and got turned down. I adore it...I love the cut, the look, and how it feels. The engagement ring is a marquise diamond flanked by two horizontal baguettes, and the band has about a dozen tiny diamond chips spread across the top in a row. We saved hundreds of dollars doing it this way, and I don't regret it at all.

[goldensmom]

Yes, both of us wear plain, simple gold bands. I put mine on at our wedding and have only taken it off for surgeries at which time my husband put it on part way up his little finger.

[Teacher Terry]

Selah your ring sounds alot like mine. I wear mine all the time unless I am doing dishes, etc. DH rarely wears his. He wanted an expensive ring & if I had known how little he would wear it probably would not have gotten it. Although I can't complain because my ring was really expensive. This was my 3rd marriage & at the time I was determined to get exactly what I wanted unlike the other 2 times. I really enjoy it though so I guess $ well spent.

[Simplemind]

I actually have two. NOT that I'm greedy, in fact I'm so frugal that I wanted to have a ring of my grandmother's reset and had already given my design to the jeweler who is a friend of mine. I told my husband that I was so picky, this was best because he could never find a ring as a surprise that I would like. I guess he couldn't stand the challenge because he was bound and determined to pick one on his own and surprise me. It was perfect and I love it but the two don't look good together even though the one I had made is a band. So one on the left hand and one on the right.
I felt horrible buying his because it was pretty inexpensive. It is made of titanium and he loves it for the geekiness of it. He has already lost one and I got right back on Overstock and bought him another.

[Songbird]

I wear a simple and small diamond wedding band and engagement ring, but only when I'm out and about. DH wears his plain white gold wedding band 24/7. This is his and mine both second set of wedding rings together. Due to a very bad time in our marriage many years ago we decided to 'start over' which included renewing our vows and exchanging new rings. We've been married 40 years this year...

[CathyA]

DH wears his (can't get it off), and I almost never wore mine. Now it wouldn't fit. I'm not big on jewelry.

[herbgeek]

I wear a simple gold band. Was part of a set with a solitaire engagement ring at one point. At 10 years, I had that diamond reset into an anniversary band which I then wore for many years as my only ring. Was kind of funny to see who paid attention to rings- because it wasn't obvious that it was a wedding ring or an anniversary ring or just a ring, and I sometime heard that people were asking through the grapevine.

That wore through and I haven't gotten around to getting it repaired, so it was back to the original wedding band. Hubby lost his original within a few weeks (I think that could have been passive aggressive ;)) I got him a replacement that he never wore. We did find the original when we moved and disassembled the then water bed (it was under the mattress).

[ctg492]

Neither of us have actual wedding rings. I think we did back in the 80s? It seems. We both have a ring we gave each other at different times. I seldom wear mine as I garden and work outside a lot. Idk never really give it any thought.

[Ultralight]

I was married before. I wore a Salt Lake Silver ring. I actually liked it.

But when I got divorced I went right to the lake after court and threw it as far as I could into the deep center. There was a little, tiny splash. Then the ring was forever gone.

[maryellen]

My husband and I both wear very inexpensive ($10) silver bands. All the time. It's just a symbol, but means something to us.

[TVRodriguez]

DH has a simple silver band that he wore for the ceremony and first week of marriage. Since then, it's in a jewelry saucer on my dresser. He can't keep it on at work, and he's not into jewelry, so we knew it was only for the ceremony when we bought it.

I have a plain, very thin, silver (platinum) Tiffany band. It's my second, since my first was lost by DH. He was given it to hold when the hospital made me take off my rings during my daughter's birth. The first was my grandmother's--she didn't lose it over 60 years and 9 births, but oh well. I take my ring off every night and don't wear it every day. I don't generally wear my engagement ring. It was a few hundred dollars, and it's not that I'm afraid to lose it--I'm just don't really like jewelry on my hands. I can only keep my wedding band on b/c it's so thin and light. I really hate it when I wash my hands with it on--feels like I can never quite get dry under the band.