Sadness about my house

[pinkytoe]

The happy news is that we have finally made a decision on where to move for our semi-retirement. It involves massive change - new city, new state, new climate and a lot of obstacles yet to figure out to get there. We are hoping we can make it happen next spring or summer but that timeframe might get stretched to a year. In the meantime, we talk a lot about how to sell our little bungalow here. Anytime I talk about fixing up a few things in the interim, DH reminds me that it will just be a tear-down so why bother. I like to imagine that maybe somebody really might buy it and continue to fix it up or add onl. I think about all its nice features and the ways we have upgraded but realize it is nowhere near the upscale standards of the "fancy people" moving in. Just today a friend told me I need to stop imaginging anyone would really want it and just distance myself emotionally it but I am having a really hard time with that. Its been such a sweet little roof over our house the past fifteen years. Wah...

[ApatheticNoMore]

The thing is it's all trends, if 15 years from now small bungalows are the hot thing, everyone will be building them. It's like: this season chartreuse skinny pants are the thing! (but at least then it's only clothes). You could try to find a buyer that seems like they really want it as is I guess (no guarantee there) but it might not be the maximum offer.

[catherine]

Last weekend I went to a wedding up in CT and on the way home I HAD to drive by the cottage my great-aunt owned that was my "heaven on earth" in my childhood years, from the time I was 5 to 20, when she died at 92. I've written about the experience several times here.

I've always had nightmares about what people might do with that cottage--literally have had nightmares. So when I drove by, it looked great! Pretty much the same as I remembered. I saw 2 cars in the driveway. I had anticipated a drive-by, so I brought some old photos of my aunt, grandmother and me at the cottage--one photo of my grandmother sitting in front was circa 1920.

So I debated about actually walking up the steps and finally said, "Shoot. Why not. What's the worst that can happen--they chase me off with a gun?" So I went up and knocked, and a man my age came out, and he was so friendly, and so nice. His mother was the person who bought it from my mother in 1976, and she was there, too, and I met her. I showed them the pictures and the loved looking at them. I took a couple of pictures.

But the best thing was, the cottage was absolutely the same. It's STILL uninsulated, with the beautiful patina on the old wood walls. The craftsman windows are still original. The old doorknobs and window fixtures---all original. The original fireplace mantle. I could close my eyes, reopen and feel like I was back to being a teenager again in that house. I thanked them for that.

However, she's selling it, because her husband is no longer in good health, and her son said that the area is becoming too "wall street" and probably the next people that come in will make a modern monstrosity out of it. So it was definitely a bittersweet visit. I'm glad I went when I did, and it will probably be the last time I see the cottage in its original splendor.

So, pinkytoe, that's a VERY long way of telling you that I know exactly how you feel. I think it's time for both of us to let go, I guess. Bummer.

[iris lilies]

You know me, I am always sad to hear about little old houses being demolished. RIP
kittle houses.

[Williamsmith]

My childhood home was nothing special in anyone else's eyes but I can close my eyes and be transported back there anytime I want. Recently I went by and noticed the two stained glass windows in the living room had been replaced. I wish I knew where they went. I would buy them. I also recently found an old telephone stand in my mothers house that came from my childhood house. I brought it home and refinished it. It is going in my sons apartment for him to use. I recently sold a house I raised my family in for 23 years. I have had no regrets moving and getting rid of about half my belongings. I never had a single doubt that it was the right thing to do. The house sold in six days.

[rosarugosa]

I totally sympathize. This house was probably a teardown when we bought it, but we invested lots of time and money making it a great little home and we've been very happy here. Probably not the smartest from a real estate investment perspective, but it's Home and I would be very sad to see it demolished.

[Chicken lady]

My Mom and my uncle just sold my grandparent's house. Every Christmas every thanksgiving, every easter, the six months my dad was out of work, birthdays and back to school shopping, my parents going on trips, and just a lot of random days.

The buyers are immigrants. The baby coming in December will be a first generation American and the young wife loves my grandmother's quirky decor. She doesn't want to change a thing. My grandmother lived to be 100, and the wife told my mom, "I hope I get to live in this house until I'm 100!

I love the thought of the house filling up again with children and grandchildren and extended family...

[razz]

I feel for you and your cherished house.

If it is any comfort, make a long list of cherished memories of activities, landscaping, little quirks etc., that you love right now and you can savour them in the future as often as you need to.

I have moved into a new small house and you know, I absolutely adore it!!! I phoned my builder and told him that I wanted to share my delight about this house . I took possession a year ago yesterday and just love the layout, the yard, the house, the neighbourhood, the dog-walking options, the park nearby, everything. I told him that this probably is not said very often but I think my builder is wonderful and very conscientious so he seemed the best to share in my delight. Look forward to what is wonderful and cherish the history. That has been my experience.

[pinkytoe]

I think the almost full moon yesterday had me in a melancholy state. Today, looking around this little bungalow of only 1600sf (oh the shame!) on its massive lot I think...perhaps there is someone out there who would actually prefer a smaller house to fix up. It is still our abode for now so thinking about its demise all the time is pointless. Have all these home flipping shows convinced buyers that they must have a 4000 sf home with en suite bathrooms and massive open kitchens? Another thing...we watch the new houses replacing the tear-downs and realize how shoddy their construction is. I call them the cardboard and toothpick houses; they are done within a matter of weeks and the buyers can't see the lack of quality within the walls. I am going to feel good about my house as long as I live here. Once we're gone, it won't matter so much. Off to go work in the garden...

[JaneV2.0]

Can't you screen the buyers until you find someone who truly wants your efficient little house? The sellers in my case were very worried that they might be selling to a Republican (I am not making this up). I think you can refuse to sell to anyone for any reason short of racial or other discrimination.

[Radicchio]

Can't you screen the buyers until you find someone who truly wants your efficient little house? The sellers in my case were very worried that they might be selling to a Republican (I am not making this up). I think you can refuse to sell to anyone for any reason short of racial or other discrimination.

If they use a realtor, I believe there is some obligation to accept a full price offer---or pay the commission the realtor earned.

[CathyA]

catherine.........Are there really good reasons for you to move? Are you really sure you want to? (I'm sorry if I missed a discussion about this already).

[iris lilies]

I think it's kind of silly to attempt to control a piece of real estate once you are no longer the owner. I understand the sentiment, but we all have to move on from sentiment, unless we have unlimited funds to own it and keep control.

our houses are all in neighborhoods with protective covenants that keep them from being demolished. If that really IS a goal, one can work to make ordinances to protect historic aRchitecture..

i will confess when we made our last purchase of two dwellings on one parcel, we kinda planned to tear one of them down. We assumed this small wood framed house was built in the 1930's or thereabouts, and was not a contributing building to the historic area. But when we talked to the historic preservation office, they said it's the oldest building in the area and may date from 1870's. So we ended up renovating the exterior, keeping the exact footprint with one tiny modification. Sadly the interior wasn't salvageable, but DH has saved woodwork and doors that may be used when the interior is put back together.

[catherine]

catherine.........Are there really good reasons for you to move? Are you really sure you want to? (I'm sorry if I missed a discussion about this already).

It's not me that's moving--it's pinkytoe. The cottage I grew up in was sold in 1976, and those owners are now selling it. In the past I've had fantasies of buying it back, but first of all there's no way in hell I could afford it--its market price now is about 725k (my uncle built it for $10k in 1914, and my mother sold it in 1976 for $46k). Second of all, those memories are just that--precious memories. If I suddenly were responsible for the cottage, and just bought it out of pure nostalgia with no ties other than these strong wonderful memories, I would not be happy, and I could never relive my past. My great-aunt is gone and she was the life and spirit of that cottage.

I have often thought about writing a book about the lifestyle I had--almost a "how-to" on achieving a balanced day of community, good food, work and creativity--the day was so predictable and so spiritually nourishing, anyone could follow the "plan," and it might be a way to honor my aunt.

[CathyA]

Sorry catherine. I'll direct this to pinkytoe.
I spend a lot of time in my mind in the house I grew up in (just to age 11)....but my mind always seems to drift back there. It was a great neighborhood and had a creek and woods.
I'm glad you have great memories!

[CathyA]

Pinkytoe........Are there really pressing reasons for you to move? It sounds like you really love that place.

[frugal-one]

The happy news is that we have finally made a decision on where to move for our semi-retirement. It involves massive change - new city, new state, new climate and a lot of obstacles yet to figure out to get there. We are hoping we can make it happen next spring or summer but that timeframe might get stretched to a year. In the meantime, we talk a lot about how to sell our little bungalow here. Anytime I talk about fixing up a few things in the interim, DH reminds me that it will just be a tear-down so why bother. I like to imagine that maybe somebody really might buy it and continue to fix it up or add onl. I think about all its nice features and the ways we have upgraded but realize it is nowhere near the upscale standards of the "fancy people" moving in. Just today a friend told me I need to stop imaginging anyone would really want it and just distance myself emotionally it but I am having a really hard time with that. Its been such a sweet little roof over our house the past fifteen years. Wah...

We are going through the same thing here. The sad part is, I just checked insurance options in the new location and it COULD be a problem. We have had 2 garage sales and the third will be in a few weeks. Lived here for 30 years. I am READY to move closer to DS. Like you, we plan on putting the house up for sale in the spring. Hopefully, it all works out! Good luck to you too! frugal-one

[Miss Cellane]

Have you consulted an agent yet? I'd talk to two or three of them, and get a feel for what the current market is like. One of them might have a list of people who want a smaller house (that's what happened when we sold my parents' Victorian house--one agent had a list of people looking for older houses in the city center).

Twice now, I've heard of lovely older homes being considered by someone as a tear-down, only to have the new owners do everything possible to bring the houses back to their original condition (except the kitchens). One was my parents' 1880's Victorian--several people told us to lower the price as it would only be torn down. Sold at the height (depth?) of the housing disaster for $5,000 under asking price.

The other house was my grandparents' 1820's house--what would probably have been a mansion back then. There were two bidders, one couple who loved the house and another bidder who loved the location and wanted to tear the house down. Fortunately, the people who loved the house got it, and they let me take a peek inside about a year after they bought it--lovely restoration job.

So don't give up all hope just yet.

[pinkytoe]

Yes, we must move due to rising property taxes. I plan to retire in December so its time to sell. That aside, we both want to try something completely different while we still can and are excited by that prospect. If we sell this one, we can pay cash for the house in our new city and ditch the mortgage. In the same way that I am drawn to simple living, I am drawn to "enough" in a house. It is more the principle of the matter that once again like back in the 90s, excess for those who can afford it is the new normal. 90% of the smaller homes like mine, many of which used to be affordable rentals or starters for young singles or families, have been purchased for cash by flippers to scrape. I am sure it is an attractive offer for many as inspections and repairs aren't required in that case. It feels as if the fabric of the place I have known is being destroyed. I have had two different realtors give me comps and look it over to consider their services. However, we will most likely sell it ourselves and I am starting the hunt now for prospective buyers. We have never had very good luck using a realtor for previous sales and purchases and have sold several before ourselves.

[CathyA]

Good luck to you pinkytoe.........just take lots of pictures of the place, inside and out!

[Teacher Terry]

I agree with IL. No matter how much I love a house or how much work I put into it myself once I put it up for sale I distance myself & let it go. I am more interested in getting the best price then in what will happen to it later.