Gardenarian
9-14-15, 5:48pm
So I saw something my daughter posted on Tumblr, and I asked her if she was a lesbian - and she said she "thinks... maybe...yes." I follow all her online stuff, and this was the first mention of it.
This was all a big surprise to me, as my daughter has had serial crushes on boys since she was a toddler, and she and her friends talk endlessly about boys. She's often talked about what her (heterosexual) wedding will be like. It's as though she consciously made the decision overnight.
When I read about other parents with kids who are LGBT, the first thing I saw was "Don't ask 'Are you sure?' and 'How do you know?'" Unfortunately it was too late for me, because those are the first things I said. Doh! I also said other stuff, like how proud I was of her to have the guts to talk about it and that I was glad she was trying to be true to herself.
I'm perfectly happy with having a kid who is gay, especially with all the problems girls have - date rape, HIV, birth control - for a parent of a girl, it gives you quite a bit less to worry about.
We are having some conflicts, because while she admits that she is at the "questioning" stage, she feels I should totally accept her as a lesbian. I do - but at the same time I don't want her to box herself in with definitions. She's only 16; she's been on one date (with a boy, no kissing or stuff.)
I've encouraged her to join the gay/straight alliance at her school, and I'm not sure what else to do. She hasn't spoken to DH about it, but she gave me permission to tell him (he is quite pleased. I think the idea of her having sex with boys bothered him a lot more.)
For now I'm just treading lightly and trying to keep the doors of communication open, but it seems like no matter what I say, she takes it the wrong way. :confused:
This was all a big surprise to me, as my daughter has had serial crushes on boys since she was a toddler, and she and her friends talk endlessly about boys. She's often talked about what her (heterosexual) wedding will be like. It's as though she consciously made the decision overnight.
When I read about other parents with kids who are LGBT, the first thing I saw was "Don't ask 'Are you sure?' and 'How do you know?'" Unfortunately it was too late for me, because those are the first things I said. Doh! I also said other stuff, like how proud I was of her to have the guts to talk about it and that I was glad she was trying to be true to herself.
I'm perfectly happy with having a kid who is gay, especially with all the problems girls have - date rape, HIV, birth control - for a parent of a girl, it gives you quite a bit less to worry about.
We are having some conflicts, because while she admits that she is at the "questioning" stage, she feels I should totally accept her as a lesbian. I do - but at the same time I don't want her to box herself in with definitions. She's only 16; she's been on one date (with a boy, no kissing or stuff.)
I've encouraged her to join the gay/straight alliance at her school, and I'm not sure what else to do. She hasn't spoken to DH about it, but she gave me permission to tell him (he is quite pleased. I think the idea of her having sex with boys bothered him a lot more.)
For now I'm just treading lightly and trying to keep the doors of communication open, but it seems like no matter what I say, she takes it the wrong way. :confused: