View Full Version : Starting over?
I can't go into too much detail here (pending investigation by police) BUT My family is safe, my pets are safe, what is important to me is safe.
Having said that, we are starting basically over.
I am literally starting from scratch. Things don't really matter to me but I am a bit peeved I have to restart, from scratch, on certain things, like clothing ( I JUST finished my list and buying what I love...here I go again), dishes (We had the perfect set), candles (I had my FAVORITE Scents) but now we start again.
So this has me ponder deeper into simple/minimal living. I am not into counting my things or trying to fit everything I own into my car (though I have done these things and it's fun!!!) but maybe a 19th chance at starting fresh. :)
Clothing- I was thinking of something like this to get me started...I would only swap out the gray t shirt for a second black, textured shirt.
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/384002305700092157/
We have replaced our mattresses and bedding and found some dishes we love. I am now scanning all of our photos and because of the situation we are in, I took my favorite 3 pictures to blow up and frame, to add some home love again. I will explain more later as I can.
So starting over ? Would you be excited or nah!?!
Ultralight
9-14-15, 8:37pm
There is a lot going on here... I would say that I would try to be excited, because that would be making the best of the situation.
You and your fam and your pets being safe is the most important. Good to hear that.
frugal-one
9-14-15, 8:50pm
Not sure in your situation but would be happy things turned out well. You can be who you want to be if you start over. No preconceived notions. Best of luck!
I can explain a little more. Talked to the officer handling our case and he said it is not anything that would hurt our case.
Our home was broken into a few weeks ago while we were gone. They destroyed as much as they could. Wait for it- they urinated on our furniture/ soft furnishings like the curtains, rugs, pillows, beds, etc. They took scissors to clothing and threw bleach on everything. They smashed as many dishes and the few chotkies I had. The whole urinating thing has me TOTALLY skeeved out and we pulled up all the rugs, had the house sanitized and cleaned 2x now and discarded all of our furniture. We have bought new bathroom items, because we don't know if they messed with these things. Looks like they looked through stuff but who knows. They did over $25K in damage. UGH!!!!!!
We bought the 2 new mattresses and bedding and we are stopping there because we are going to paint, re carpet and sell this house. I want out of this wacko neighborhood. There have been so many break ins and we live in what I would say is a nice place. Too many people have had issues with this crew, who break in, are drunk usually and cause a mess. They stool a bunch of tools from the work sites here and trashed out a just completed home. I told hubby I don't care if I have to put what I own in a my car and live in a hotel, just let us be safe and clean and not scared. I am glad we had our dogs with us and my cat was smart enough to stay away. He was totally fine, other than being a little hungry, since they trashed the kitchen. :(
They could not get into the safe, which does have some valuable items, including medical records and pictures. They did trash my own personal photography but nothing I can't redo and frame. :)
It just has me really thinking about what is important and now, starting fresh. My clothing irks me because I spent the summer picking out just the right things and bam...starting over. They did not get 2 pairs of shoes, 1 fleece and my bathrobe. Also, my workout gear, which I have quite a bit due to teaching yoga, was secure in the laundry, which they did not bother. They also did not ruin my washer/dryer.
There are some days when I totally freak out and it bothers me, but we are ok, and I keep reminding myself of that.
awakenedsoul
9-14-15, 9:57pm
I am so sorry this happened to you, TxZen. How horrible. I hope these people are caught and that they go to jail. Do you have home insurance? Do you think this was done by neighbors? What a shame. Did anyone in the neighborhood see anything?
SteveinMN
9-14-15, 10:29pm
That's a lousy thing to happen, TxZen. I'm glad the important stuff is safe.
When you first posted this, I thought of a fire, like the ones sweeping the West Coast right now. That certainly would call for starting over...
For me, I think I would look forward to it. Having to select and purchase replacement items would be like zero-based budgeting and really could force examination of what one needs and doesn't need to be happy. It also would resolve the problem of using something that's broken or otherwise no longer ideal but is too good to get rid of/would cost too much to replace.
On the other hand, we have some antique goods it would be difficult or impossible to replace -- and I would miss at least soe of those. Then there's the delay in getting life back to "normal" because you can't go out and replace everything with what you want in a day or two or even a week. You'd be living without some things you'd really want (favorite clothes, furniture, kitchen tools, etc.) because it took time to find and amass them in the first place.
Good luck -- at least you're approaching this with a positive outlook!
You have my sympathies, TxZen. Robbery is one thing, but they sound like total animals. Hope they get caught.
I agree to take your time with replacing your items, but get the heck out of there quick!
freshstart
9-14-15, 11:26pm
that is unbelievably horrible, I am so sorry. If you can manage some excitement at starting over, I would try to keep building on it.
Thank God they left the cat alone.
iris lilies
9-15-15, 12:24am
wow, so sorry to hear this. yuck, what a mess.
I'm glad you and your pets are safe.
In your situation, I'd be totally p*ssed, then a bit excited at being able to start with a clean slate. You know what you like and need and want now.
Simplemind
9-15-15, 1:35am
I'm so very sorry. That is a huge violation and it will take time to get over it and feel safe in your house. The same happened to us years ago. We were at a family funeral. I came home to find the door taken off the hinges and the dog had been beaten and was cowering in the corner. What wasn't taken was destroyed.
We replaced the basics but never the big ticket items. Never missed them really. Checked pawn shops for years but nothing ever surfaced.
Thanks all. This morning, I went and bought a new yoga mat and some props. It's actually been really nice not having to clean so much and keep it simple. I also purchased 2 black t shirts and a pair of white shorts and another pair of Reef sandals (My favorite!!!), all on sale.
It really is the strangest place to be in and how to deal with it. It is so hard to process it all.
Simplemind- I am sorry about your dog. That makes my heart hurt.
Gardenarian
9-15-15, 1:22pm
How horrible for you (and you too, Simplemind :(
I'm impressed at your positive response; I think a situation like that would be extremely traumatic. You have some awesome coping skills!
" You have some awesome coping skills!"
You haven't met my family...lol..I learned coping skills young. :)
Wow! We have had a car stolen (and used to commit another robbery) and one of our houses broken into. When our house was broken into, although they trashed the place dumping out everything and rummaging through the house looking for valuables, there was no deliberate vandalism. Your situation is totally disgusting---it's sad there are people in this world who would do those things. What I do remember, though, is that feeling of being violated and unsafe. We moved shortly afterward, as well.
I am so sorry that you are having to deal with all this. In addition to the emotional reaction, it takes a lot of time and work just to deal with everything. On the plus side, it has accelerated your time frame for getting away from that neighborhood and crazy neighbors. I'm glad you are escaping and I'm confident you will finally breathe easier and relax more once you've relocated. Best wishes to you and your family.
I am so sorry. What a horrible experience.
They think this group is the former workers who built the first section of neighborhood. There was some bad blood between the builders and the workers and they think they have been targeting this neighborhood. A BRAND new house, just finished, ready to put on the market, was trashed. They took equipment, ripped up new sod in some other places. etc. This is quite the investigation going on with all of this. :(
I just feel so violated.... :( :( :(
You're the person with the horrid neighbors, aren't you? Is this the same house or somewhere new? How awful, either way.
OMG--how horrible! I'm so sorry, and so glad you all are safe. The violence with which this was done is unbelievably appalling. You must have been absolutely traumatized! Thank God you weren't home.
Sounds like you've been able to process this over the past few weeks and are now able to be a bit philosophical about the benefits of being forced to start from scratch, so that's good. I would say, do whatever else needs to be done to enable you to feel safe.
Anyway, I'm sure there is the flip side to involuntarily losing everything, which would be the opportunity to taste the freedom that comes from fewer possessions. I'm sure if I were in your position, after going through the grief and shock, yes, I would take advantage of being able to test "enough" in your life. Starting over can be a real adventure in self-exploration!
Keep us posted on your progress (and your setbacks) as you move through this! My mother lost everything through illness and a fire, but it was too late for her to exercise much choice in how she lived the rest of her life. So, I think it was Victor Frankl who said that when everything has been taken away from us, we still have the ability to choose our attitude. Looks like you've chosen a good one, TxZen!
Yes, I am the one with the wacko neighbors. I think it's something in the water. :help:
I have to stay positive. I have a small child and so much more in life to be grateful for. I just want to be able to move yesterday but everything is a process.
Teacher Terry
9-16-15, 4:18pm
That is absolutely horrible. Glad you guys & the pets are ok. I certainly don't blame you for wanting to move.
I can understand workers being pissed. That happens. I can understand the desire to get even in some way. But what I don't understand is taking out one's anger on the people who bought the homes. This isn't going to hurt the builder at all. So sorry you're having to go through this. I'm not sure I'd be able to have anything resembling a positive attitude.
TxZen, How are things going? Are you starting to feel a little more comfortable in your home? How are the repairs to the house coming along?
Thanks for asking Radicchio!! Well good news, some of our items in our house are still under warranty, so that helps.
It's been a real self assessment exercise for me and us. I am focusing on how to downsize but be happy and comfortable.
We have started looking for another home. It's been a process because honestly, we don't have the time right now. During the day, I supervise repairs and go to college at night, on top of being a mom and wife, etc.
I have my good days and I have my really bad days, or nights. I get so mad and then I get frustrated.
Under the best of conditions, IMO looking for a home is grueling, and you certainly don't have the best of circumstances. Hope the repairs go smoothly without too many bumps and your life can return to at least some normalcy.
The whole interior has been repainted. The carpets were all pulled up and now living with ply wood but I kinda like it LOL. After the insurance company took photos, it took us about 2 days of just stuffing things into garbage bags to get rid of it all. We called for a special trash pick up and they were really kind and accommodating.
It's the little things one does not think about until you have too...like hangers or picture frame sizes or carpeting colors. That is what is frustrating to me. We now have camera installed. We bought an inexpensive one from Best Buy and they work great.
Something else is the nosy neighbors. I know they are DYING to know what happened but so far, we just ignore them. I don't want my business all over the hood from their mouths. We did tell another friend living here but she is solid and trustworthy. We kinda of know their schedule, so we scheduled the trash pick up for when they would be gone, so they would not be counting bags as it went out or even coming over. The house is pretty empty and clean now...it's kinda nice...if it wasn't for my animals, I would move to an apartment tomorrow.
Radicchio
9-22-15, 11:29am
How is your child doing? Frankly, it's incomprehensible to me as an adult how someone can be so stupidly destructive. It's so senseless and yet so vicious at the same time. I would think seeing so much destruction would be unsettling---especially since I assume that your child's things were also lost.
Anyway, I'm glad things are moving along and---despite the many challenges---it sounds like you are handling it as well as anyone possibly could. I look forward to the future when this will be just a dim memory.
He is doing ok. I took ALL of his Lego's and bleach the heck out of them and then I rebuilt some of his sets. He likes his room now because he has just a bed and can spread out to read and play Lego's LOL He had his favorite 2 stuffed animals with him and he just doesn't understand why people would be so mean. It's been a day by day, just explaining to him.
We didn't let him in the house. 1. We didn't know if someone was still here 2. You could tell from just the front door it was bad.
We stayed at a hotel for 3 days. I came and cleaned up his room and got his Lego's out. He did not see all the destruction. We had a friend take him over the weekend while we cleaned up. He is now here, with all the painting and what not, so it's not so bad. He likes talking to all the people helping LOL For 9, he is a vey mature kid but I keep checking on him. The first night here, we all slept in the living room in sleeping bags. :)
ToomuchStuff
9-22-15, 1:13pm
Thanks for asking Radicchio!! Well good news, some of our items in our house are still under warranty, so that helps.
I don't understand this. A warranty is for defects in material and workmanship, how is vadalism, theft and destruction a defect? (should be an insurance issue)
TxZen, Thank you for answering my question. I was very concerned for your child, but it sounds like you were able to shield him from the worst and thereby minimized the impact on him. Considering what a catastrophic mess this was, you have done well in shielding him from it and just concentrating on moving forward. At that age, if not directly traumatized by seeing all the destruction, most children are only concerned about what affects their lives and interests and don't really look at the big picture. That is a blessing.
He is a good kid. He has been having fun, when we stayed in the hotels, to set up his area and he arranged all his clean Legos by color. He also thinks it's cool to get new bedding and I admit, a few new Star Wars items, but it's his favorite!!! LOL We bought a cool put together model at Target and it's hanging in his room now. He also has his pets to love on and he is like me, more concerned about them than stuff. :)
I'm so sorry that tho happened to you and your family. We anticipated a breakin after I walked in my in laws home after they got robbed while house sitting during the cruise. Sil posted it on facebook "can't wait to go on cruise while my parents go too". Duh. So we got Adt. House is a fortress now ,Police is 2 minutes away. I have piece of mind.plus guns. It took a long time for in laws to recover but after a while they stopped subscribing to Adt. Weird. The good news your family is safe. I experience an apartment fire was left homeless thankfully my distant future hubby and mother in law took me in. I realized that things can be replaced. People can't. Best of luck to you and your family.
ToomuchStuff
11-7-15, 2:13pm
I'm so sorry that tho happened to you and your family. We anticipated a breakin after I walked in my in laws home after they got robbed while house sitting during the cruise. Sil posted it on facebook "can't wait to go on cruise while my parents go too". Duh. So we got Adt. House is a fortress now ,Police is 2 minutes away. I have piece of mind.plus guns. It took a long time for in laws to recover but after a while they stopped subscribing to Adt. Weird. The good news your family is safe. I experience an apartment fire was left homeless thankfully my distant future hubby and mother in law took me in. I realized that things can be replaced. People can't. Best of luck to you and your family.
I know quite a few people, who wear blue, that don't have alarms, but have learned that alarm stickers, do provide some level of protection. (rather hit an unalarmed house, then chance an alarmed one)
That, and when you don't subscribe, your just not connected to their central monitoring service, it doesn't mean they didn't leave in the physical alarm. (could price around on monitoring).
I like having monitoring because I am able to directly request police, fire trucks or ambulance. In those moments time is everything. That is important to me and that;s what we spend the $45 a month on security.I plan on getting a front door camera because we live next to a park and a few time our snowman and jack o lanterns got destroyed. Having footage to prove who did it would leave the neighborhood punk speechless. Our cars got robbed once while in our driveway at night and we wouldve seen who did it just to get even and press charges. Our system works one time whe we just set it up a faulty false alarm called the Police and they were on the property with guns drawn while my hubbie unaware walked in on them in the back yard just coming back from work. Both parties were in for a surprise.We still laugh about that in an odd way.
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