my son gave me a hug!

[Zoe Girl]

we are not a very physical family and he is 18 years old so it was a big deal for me. he said thank you for being so supportive. wow, but here is the background. his girlfriend has been basically living with us for many months. they are both 18 and have been together for 2 years. as far as kids and their SO's go these kids are the easiest. they clean up, take care of the cats, pick up things from the store, etc. both have been looking for jobs and now have them! yeah, last night i hear that her mom lectured her a long time for not writing down her tips as a delivery driver the first day, so my son realized how i could act instead of the way that i do act. i don't think his girlfriend heard anything positive when she got her job.

i finally met her mom about a month ago very briefly, wow. i knew some things like the excel spreadsheet for goodwill donations but i have a policy of not listening to kids complain about their parents short of abuse. meeting her briefly in person was kinda intense, the manner she talked to P did not show any listening and was in line with her career as a lawyer. i basically saw a lecture that i was uncomfortable listening to. we agreed to meet and have coffee or something now that i am back in town. i am pretty nervous about this, however i would want to meet the other parent if the situation was reversed. Maybe set a strict time limit, seems like she would be good with that. And then i will be prepared to use all my wonderful people skills to do this. and a i have a buddhist friend i do retreat and other work with to debrief with. i really have no idea if she wants to complain about kids, get to know me personally, talk about our families that come from Michigan, get mad at me for letting P live with us????

what is both an advantage and challenge is that this is also my career. i work with kids, families, systems and mediate and collaborate. i know developmental stages of kids and what is about right. as a parent that does not mean i also get it right. but i can sit in some very difficult conversations and i will let you know

[iris lilies]

Is this post about a future meeting with the mother of your son's girlfriend?

Frankly, seems like a pretty sweet deal she's got, you taking on the care and feeding of her child. Make sure you aren't being a patsy here. The kid should be paying you some rent, or she should be paying you some child support.

[Zoe Girl]

well i am just kinda in a good mood about my son realizing that i am good with him, but just glowing doesn't take up too many words. they are really easy to live with and i consider my cooperative parenting style to have been helpful through conflicts so it keeps on going well. having a kid realize you have been supportive is pretty awesome, which naturally brings up wondering what this meeting could be like, who knows anything about it really.

the girlfriend does buy food and drives my son everywhere since he just got a job and doesn't have his own transportation yet. they take the cat to the vet and many other errands that are difficult with my work schedule. So i consider it a very fair deal for the amount of driving she does honestly.

[Gardenarian]

That's really sweet!

[freshstart]

unless you are uber interested, I'd let her contact me, doesn't sound like a fun visit, more like a chore you're getting out of the way

[freshstart]

I'm glad he hugged you! My son is 18, it's so weird, he's a man. Making his own choices and what I thought were terrible ones, are actually teaching him good lessons. Should anyone need a luthier or have a luthier-related emergency, I've got your guy! Well, not til next summer.