View Full Version : Boss Not Acknowledging Efforts
I work at a small college in Massachusetts in a graduate school department. The Dean is well-known to be a micromanager. I am lower down the ranks at the admin level. On Thursday, the Dean was out of town with the 2nd in charge at a two day event. A planned meeting the next day Friday, a guest speaker, suddenly became unavailable to attend. I was the one that arranged the meeting in the first place and didn't find out until Thursday at 3:15 p.m. the speaker would not be present. I called their boss and tried to arrange a substitute lecturer but that fell through. I emailed the Dean and 2nd in charge about the situation as she is controlling and wanted some direction on what to tell the students to do instead.
The 2nd in charge relayed the reply message in about one hour and I followed their directions. At a staff meeting yesterday, the Dean said in front of all faculty and other staff, I just found out Thursday afternoon about this guest speaker being unavailable. The guest speaker works on campus in a key support role to students. None of us knew she was off campus on leave. The Dean said in front of everyone she had no idea about her change of status. Everyone knew I was the one who scurried and made the decisions and communication to update the students on activity. However, the Dean did not acknowledge I was the source and did a good job taking care of the snafu. Why does she do this? This is a direct example of several I can think of. She knows I did the task, yet will not give me credit for being resourceful. I said nothing but as an employee, I would have appreciated being named as the source. She seems highly reluctant to say thanks no matter what I did and who's butt I saved.
catherine
10-6-15, 11:06am
First of all, I've read that feeling appreciated is the key source of job satisfaction--it's so important for our work to be validated.
Second, it sounds like your boss is the kind of person who might just feel that handling SNAFUs is part of your job. People have different definitions for "above and beyond." So, if you think of the restaurant service industry, if you compared your performance in this situation to being a server, would your boss have left a standard tip, or would she have given you 25% or more? Who knows?
I remember my cousin, who is an on-air reporter, telling a story about when she was first learning the ropes as a reporter. Early on, she put together a great piece that she was so proud of, and after it aired, her boss called her in, and she got ready for the accolades. So when she asked, how was the piece, he brushed it off by saying, "yeah, fine, but what was up with your hair??" The point was, she was EXPECTED to do her job. Good journalism, even great journalism, was a given. You don't always get a pat on the back for doing your job.
So I guess my advice to you is what the Buddhists and other spiritual leaders would say: Detach yourself from the results. Do your job and and keep your expectations for validation low.
Ultralight
10-6-15, 11:09am
Could you emotionally divest from your job? Zombie-ify yourself at work. Just pretend you're a robot. Would that be possible?
sweetana3
10-6-15, 11:50am
In 31 years it was rare to be acknowledged as responsible for anything that the boss could take credit for. We eventually understood that our jobs were to keep her or him in good standing with those above and stay in the background. In fact, taking credit could result in being the next one to take the hit for anything being wrong.
I suspect this is the way of the working world. Subordinates keep the boss as happy as possible and enable her/him to meet their job requirements for their yearly reviews.
Ultralight
10-6-15, 11:56am
In 31 years it was rare to be acknowledged as responsible for anything that the boss could take credit for. We eventually understood that our jobs were to keep her or him in good standing with those above and stay in the background. In fact, taking credit could result in being the next one to take the hit for anything being wrong.
I suspect this is the way of the working world. Subordinates keep the boss as happy as possible and enable her/him to meet their job requirements for their yearly reviews.
Cynical, but true.
I think of myself as a "loyal foot soldier." The Generals and Majors get the ribbons and medals. But I still get meals in the mess hall and a cot in the barracks.
Williamsmith
10-6-15, 8:14pm
I've never had a job where I cared at all about what my Supervisor or the higher ups thought about my performance and I never did anything and expected to get accolades or even acknowledgment for what I did. What mattered to me was fulfillment of my personal goals and application of my personal pride to by job duties. And I wanted to be respected by my fellow co workers. This is all one can ask.
Ultralight
10-6-15, 9:11pm
I've never had a job where I cared at all about what my Supervisor or the higher ups thought about my performance and I never did anything and expected to get accolades or even acknowledgment for what I did. What mattered to me was fulfillment of my personal goals and application of my personal pride to by job duties. And I wanted to be respected by my fellow co workers. This is all one can ask.
You work for the government too, huh?
Williamsmith
10-6-15, 9:30pm
You work for the government too, huh?
I've worked for both private and public entities. Never had any different approach. I'd consider it a pretty broad spectrum:
gas station attendant
grocery store clerk
summer work in steel mill
air traffic controller
house parent for nine severe and profoundly mentally handicapped and physically challenged kids
state trooper
regional pharmacy representative
and golf course maintenance,
leave me alone. I'll do my job and Ill do it well. No need to validate my ego.
Ultralight
10-7-15, 7:27am
I've worked for both private and public entities. Never had any different approach. I'd consider it a pretty broad spectrum:
gas station attendant
grocery store clerk
summer work in steel mill
air traffic controller
house parent for nine severe and profoundly mentally handicapped and physically challenged kids
state trooper
regional pharmacy representative
and golf course maintenance,
leave me alone. I'll do my job and Ill do it well. No need to validate my ego.
I don't have any of my identity wrapped up in my job. I think that helps too. Just keep one's identity out of the work place. haha
People ask me what I do and I say: "Fish" or "I'm very involved in my community" or "I'm an experimentalist" or whatever. When they finally ask me what I do for money, then I tell them about my job. But I keep it vague and quick.
i totally get it, i am in the middle of trying to detach from something at work and it takes a lot of work. so it is possible but not a quick decision with 30 minutes of processing (at least not in my opinion). i am sorry though, it sounds like you saved the situation and many bosses for a variety of reasons simply don't or can't give positive feedback. they get caught up in their own thing, although the great bosses do check in, give feedback, and positives in general. it does sound like it is about the boss and their capability rather than you, i am reading a book titled working with you is killing me, and they point out that bosses are promoted for a variety of reasons, not because they pass some type of boss evaluation. often they are worse at boss type skills than others.
on the other issues of being detached from work that can be great but there are jobs we do totally invest in. i feel like one of the best things about my job is that i am highly connected to my values while i am working, and it does present a challenge when i need to detach from some aspects of my job. But part of my job i would do even if i didn't work there.
Ultralight
10-7-15, 8:34am
i totally get it, i am in the middle of trying to detach from something at work and it takes a lot of work. so it is possible but not a quick decision with 30 minutes of processing (at least not in my opinion). i am sorry though, it sounds like you saved the situation and many bosses for a variety of reasons simply don't or can't give positive feedback. they get caught up in their own thing, although the great bosses do check in, give feedback, and positives in general. it does sound like it is about the boss and their capability rather than you, i am reading a book titled working with you is killing me, and they point out that bosses are promoted for a variety of reasons, not because they pass some type of boss evaluation. often they are worse at boss type skills than others.
on the other issues of being detached from work that can be great but there are jobs we do totally invest in. i feel like one of the best things about my job is that i am highly connected to my values while i am working, and it does present a challenge when i need to detach from some aspects of my job. But part of my job i would do even if i didn't work there.
Learning to emotionally divest from something -- anything -- that we are acculturated to emotionally invest in is tough. It can be very tough!
In many ways, as simple living types, we have learned to divest from "stuff," as one example. It goes against the cultural grain.
I think of emotional divestment as a practice. The more you practice it, the better you get at it, and the easier it becomes. This has been my experience.
So the reward for some is simply a job well done. Personally, I do better in the work place with some connectivity to management. The connection here is clearly a message to keep your distance and don't expect support. I find that harsh. I spend 8 hours a day with this crowd and after a while, it's hard to self-motivate and want to do well. So for what? I have an idealist streak that wants work to matter in some larger way and some how serve the greater good. I've got probably 10 to 15 work years ahead of me. While happiness at work is a fantasy, job satisfaction and recognition is important to me. It's not nearly being met or should I say, hasn't ever been met. It's depressing to think it may never be met.
Ultralight
10-7-15, 8:48am
So the reward for some is simply a job well done. Personally, I do better in the work place with some connectivity to management. The connection here is clearly a message to keep your distance and don't expect support. I find that harsh. I spend 8 hours a day with this crowd and after a while, it's hard to self-motivate and want to do well. So for what? I have an idealist streak that wants work to matter in some larger way and some how serve the greater good. I've got probably 10 to 15 work years ahead of me. While happiness at work is a fantasy, job satisfaction and recognition is important to me. It's not nearly being met or should I say, hasn't ever been met. It's depressing to think it may never be met.
I hope you can get your satisfaction and recognition.
I know the work I do is inconsequential at best.
It is heart wrenching to think about much much of my life is just pretending and/or forcing myself to do something I do not want to do at all.
So the reward for some is simply a job well done. Personally, I do better in the work place with some connectivity to management. The connection here is clearly a message to keep your distance and don't expect support. I find that harsh. I spend 8 hours a day with this crowd and after a while, it's hard to self-motivate and want to do well. So for what? I have an idealist streak that wants work to matter in some larger way and some how serve the greater good. I've got probably 10 to 15 work years ahead of me. While happiness at work is a fantasy, job satisfaction and recognition is important to me. It's not nearly being met or should I say, hasn't ever been met. It's depressing to think it may never be met.
yes, i am INFJ in the meyer's briggs system and it is essential that my job has meaning. i can work around being recognized if i know the work has greater meaning.
Ultralight
10-7-15, 8:57am
yes, i am INFJ in the meyer's briggs system and it is essential that my job has meaning. i can work around being recognized if i know the work has greater meaning.
I am also an INFJ!
I just derive meaning from other aspects of my life -- fishing, involvement in my community groups, my dog, my friendships and relationships, etc.
Don't get me wrong, I'd prefer to do work that was meaningful to me. But I think that is a pipe dream. I am not very good at rationalizing either, which makes it hard for me to convince myself my job is somehow doing good.
well i have the wonderfully relevant job and i struggle a lot, i do realize i have a choice and i still choose to have a job that means something because there are crappy things everywhere after all
Ultralight
10-7-15, 9:20am
well i have the wonderfully relevant job...
Good on you! Not many people can say that. :)
She knows I did the task, yet will not give me credit for being resourceful. I said nothing but as an employee, I would have appreciated being named as the source. She seems highly reluctant to say thanks no matter what I did and who's butt I saved.
so i had a related rather deep thought. it seems that the current way of work is that we should blow our own horn. just the resume and interview process is focused on what we think of our own work. Many end of year review processes begin with what we think of what we have done. i have a hard time with that, just listing my accomplishments and talking about them is hard for me. i am waiting for some type of outside verification or validation i think. And i don't think that is totally bad, i may think i am doing great and then find out i am just average compared to other people doing the same job. then i have something to work with.
there are ways i see relationships at work as a no-win in so many ways, sigh. just starting to get that and i am 48.
Ultralight
10-8-15, 3:20pm
Here at my work we have one day a week we can work from home. I just found out they are planning to take that away.
They thanked us many times for our hard work and dedication. Now they are taking away -- in the same breath -- one of our most prized benefits.
So even if they acknowledge your good work, it is probably just lip service.
I have generally worked in places where my work was acknowledged. That is because I worked in some nice not for profit groups where people can be a high priority. If I wanted to be acknowledged a lot I would find somewhere where it was more important to the structure of the workplace. Probably less money, but you never know.
There are some businesses where this just isnt deemed important. I guess it is a trade off.
It might help to change your focus. You may never get recognition from this boss. But if you put your heart into your work and do your best to serve others in the department, you will get it elsewhere. From faculty, from other administrators, from students. At one point when I was a bit demoralized in my last job I started a practice of trying to find a way to help at least one person every day. I would literally end my day by thinking "who did I help?" Usually the list was quite long. And people notice. You become the people others go to for help. Quietly, maybe, in the background. But you become the go to person. It builds your reputation, and your competence.
good idea lhamo, i am doing a similar thing. with so many people gone and my last year having been so negative i feel the need to do things specifically to change my relationships and reputation around higher management. i also know that my direct supervisor often has a sharp negative tone and rarely compliments. so i am focusing on doing a great job for the new administrative/operational support people and building those relationships. i am not sure i help them but i can always email and talk nicely and directly.
Ultralight
10-14-15, 9:33am
With the restructure at my work the whole "good work gets rewarded" tacit agreement is now gone. Autonomy has been done away with. Trust has been squashed.
So I am having to take my "emotional divestment" even more seriously.
"I am not my job. I am only here for a paycheck. Trust no one."
I tell myself this daily.
I can at least still say I am there for my programs and families, even with similar issues.
Ultralight
10-14-15, 9:47am
I wonder sometimes, why is our system of work/employment and such seemingly set up to be so soul-crushing and spirit-breaking?
Zoe Girl
10-14-15, 10:12am
I wonder sometimes, why is our system of work/employment and such seemingly set up to be so soul-crushing and spirit-breaking?
Maybe based on the history of serfs? It used to be that you did not have a chance to change jobs or careers. Or maybe people just suck,...
Williamsmith
10-14-15, 2:28pm
If you can go to your job, provide for your family, pay the bills and make a difference in some small or large way then isn't that basically all you need from a Job?
I wonder sometimes, why is our system of work/employment and such seemingly set up to be so soul-crushing and spirit-breaking?Do you have a soul or spirit? If so, maybe they're just easily broken.
sweetana3
10-14-15, 2:51pm
I dont think the current system is fundamentally any different than the work done over the centuries. If you work for someone else, they are going to dictate what and how and when you do your work. You exchange your "life" for money. Technology has made people more "available" but working hours were a lot more in the 1800s and 1900s. Some worked 6 or more days per week and some factories before unions worked piecework for 12 or more hours a day. People were afraid of losing their jobs.
That said, it makes for a more pleasant environment for the "boss" to be kind and acknowledge good work when possible. I had one head of office who would send out little thank you notes letting you know something was noted and she thought it was a good thing. Made my day. For some in our office though, there was no pleasing them or making them happy. They just wanted to wallow in something all the time.
My experience in working with faculty over the years is that very often they are not even aware that their egos can dominate any situation. It is just the way they are though I know it is hard for some of us sensitive types not to take it personally. I advice of reflecting on "who did I help today?" makes for a pleasant work place and a useful life. I feel very lucky in that I am constantly praised by my peers and "bosses" - maybe that's why I stayed for 15 years.
"I've got probably 10 to 15 work years ahead of me. While happiness at work is a fantasy, job satisfaction and recognition is important to me. It's not nearly being met or should I say, hasn't ever been met. It's depressing to think it may never be met."
---This is a sad thing to see, and I am sending you good vibes to try to figure out a way around or through it. I love ihamo's advice, it sounds like a good start. Ten-fifteen years is a long time to be this depressed about your job. Are there other avenues of recognition open to you? Any kind of volunteer work or professional association activity?
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