Zoe Girl
10-10-15, 11:29am
I am seeing this theme where it is apparent that we are not really good at meeting needs for each other. There is a great psychological conversation about how we can get our needs met and take charge of that, still not working nearly as much as the effort we are putting in. This is very very broad of course, but just focusing on self and my little sphere I am currently rather frustrated.
I saw it this week with my total ADD coworker (yes she brings it up and I don't think I care any more). She had questions in our large meeting and more than once I was able to say to her that I had the answer and could fill her in but she still had this compulsion to ask/share to the entire group. 20+ people for 2 hours and there is only a dent anyone can make in her behavior. She is not getting her need met if I tell her the information, only if she has group/leader attention. A colleague actually went up to her after the meeting and told her to listen better, cringe.
For me I have this connection need, I have a really rough week if there is nothing social at all over the weekend and often that is the case. So in trying to meet that need I struggle. Tomorrow a group of us are going to an event that I am really looking forward to. It will be an all day thing and I am driving so it may also be tiring. I still find that I expend a lot of energy making things happen and am evaluating which of these things are actually also meeting the need for connection.
I am also realizing that as much as many of us separate work and personal I had work colleagues I had warm friendly relationships with. One of them was recently killed in a car accident, another left after 11 years. Some others would invite me to go drinking even though I don't. And with the huge changes in our department they are mostly gone, the rest of us are tiptoeing around the place. One place where there was some connection need being met is now not doing any of that.
We tend to be introverted souls here, that means I want some high quality connection time but maybe not so much of it. That is a hard thing to get in this day and age, anyone else find that?
I saw it this week with my total ADD coworker (yes she brings it up and I don't think I care any more). She had questions in our large meeting and more than once I was able to say to her that I had the answer and could fill her in but she still had this compulsion to ask/share to the entire group. 20+ people for 2 hours and there is only a dent anyone can make in her behavior. She is not getting her need met if I tell her the information, only if she has group/leader attention. A colleague actually went up to her after the meeting and told her to listen better, cringe.
For me I have this connection need, I have a really rough week if there is nothing social at all over the weekend and often that is the case. So in trying to meet that need I struggle. Tomorrow a group of us are going to an event that I am really looking forward to. It will be an all day thing and I am driving so it may also be tiring. I still find that I expend a lot of energy making things happen and am evaluating which of these things are actually also meeting the need for connection.
I am also realizing that as much as many of us separate work and personal I had work colleagues I had warm friendly relationships with. One of them was recently killed in a car accident, another left after 11 years. Some others would invite me to go drinking even though I don't. And with the huge changes in our department they are mostly gone, the rest of us are tiptoeing around the place. One place where there was some connection need being met is now not doing any of that.
We tend to be introverted souls here, that means I want some high quality connection time but maybe not so much of it. That is a hard thing to get in this day and age, anyone else find that?