Miss Metta
11-1-15, 12:02am
Hi all
I am new to this forum (clearly) but not new to minimalism or decluttering or living more simply and mindfully; take your pick. Call me a backslider (though I have a good excuse I think!). I was forced to downsize completely when I moved to the US from Australia back in 2000. All I could take with me was 2 suitcases, and whatever I could fit in there. Talk about making you choose! I had already started moving toward downshifting, having previously done a couple of purges, and then this opportunity to move came up and it seemed like a good time to take it. Being so 'light' felt great. Previously I had been a hoarder, having grown up in totally chaotic household. I always hated it but somehow some of it rubbed off on me. My Mum is a hoarder and can't throw anything out. I remained more or less a 'light' traveller for the 5 years I was in the US, although I had accumulated some stuff. This I had to pare down and ship back in two tubs as well as my suitcases.
When I arrived home I was still living with little, but then very soon after my arrival, I paired up with a man who was - a hoarder. He could not throw anything out and also a big clutterer. I cleaned and tidied his place (my transformation seemed to have worked) but over time as the relationship turned out not to be nourishing for me and I became increasingly despondent and depressed, I returned to cluttering. It just felt useless in the face of living with someone who just didn't care. Also I returned to a bit of hoarding, but I tend to stay on top of it so that whilst its annoying, it hasn't become unmanageable. Things remained like this for years, even after the relationship broke up I did not return to my neat ways.
Now I have just moved to another city, and just prior to the move I started to doing a toss out, mostly of clothes. When I arrived in the new city, I was relieved - and I have had this experience before - that everything was packed up in boxes and I didn't have to look at or deal with my stuff. Right now the house is comfortably sparse and I have told my husband (different man!) I aim to keep it this way. The thought of opening boxes to be faced with stuff brings on palpitations. Truly. I had this experience once before, a year or so before my US move - I moved into a place, couldn't stand the thought of all my stuff and loved the empty space so much that it was 3 weeks before I opened a box other than to get out cooking necessities. And when I did, I started to purge.
The same thing is happening again. I have been here a month and been very happy living with just the few clothes I had in a duffle bag - it's amazing how little you need (especially if you don't have a day job requiring special clothes). Over the last 2 days I started unpacking my clothes. I have also been reading up on minimalist wardrobes so some of that advice I've kept in mind. Even though I did a purge before I moved, I am stunned by how much clothing I have. When you go through it piece by piece, when you have to unpack it and put it in a new location, when you haven't looked at it for a month, it really gives perspective on how much one has.
I have been using this move to advantage, using the psychological 'trick' of the fresh, unfilled space to carefully select what goes into it. I have been trying on just about every piece and rating it, and so far have managed to put aside for charity a bit over a third, maybe more. It's a smaller wardrobe and it's hard to tell. I'm getting a better perspective on what I actually do use and what I really do like. There is still more in the wardrobe than I would I ideally like to have or that visually makes me comfortable, but I do feel some success with what I've achieved so far, and also I am at the stage where there are several things I just adore, really love, and not yet ready to part with. Also I have moved to a slightly warmer climate, so many of the clothes I thought I was going to toss because I wasn't wearing them (ie shorter sleeves) I'm now keeping or reconsidering, as the temperature has changed. I consider this phase one of my wardrobe, but when I get a better sense of what I actually do wear in this warmer climate, which pieces I do reach for, I will be in a better position to make sensible choices. I think it's too early to tell, yet. The wardrobe is nearly done, but then it's the shoes...oh, I dread the shoes. For someone who hates shoes and shoe shopping, I'm ashamed at how many I do have...this is for another installment.
What I also dread is unpacking my art supplies, though they bring me enormous joy. I have a lot of art supplies - most artists tend to collect lots of supplies. So far I've only found one thing I'm willing to part with; the rest, noooo way. I think I need more time (in years) to decide that no, I will not ever use xyz. It's too early to tell and these are items I will regret if I toss them; I can no longer get many of them easily or as inexpensively as I could, anymore. I have not unpacked them except for one picture I am working on and a few pencils, but I think the fact that I don't have them around me is making me a little depressed. (they are still boxed up ).I loved looking at pencils and pastels and paints and brushes even if sometimes it all looked a bit untidy at times.
This has made me realise that I do need to pull out a painting and do it, and corresponding supplies, regardless of my 'clutter-free' edict. Well, it's not clutter-free but looking very good compared to before.
Anyway I like reading all your posts. Like most people here, I am work in progress. Thanks for listening.
thanks
Metta
I am new to this forum (clearly) but not new to minimalism or decluttering or living more simply and mindfully; take your pick. Call me a backslider (though I have a good excuse I think!). I was forced to downsize completely when I moved to the US from Australia back in 2000. All I could take with me was 2 suitcases, and whatever I could fit in there. Talk about making you choose! I had already started moving toward downshifting, having previously done a couple of purges, and then this opportunity to move came up and it seemed like a good time to take it. Being so 'light' felt great. Previously I had been a hoarder, having grown up in totally chaotic household. I always hated it but somehow some of it rubbed off on me. My Mum is a hoarder and can't throw anything out. I remained more or less a 'light' traveller for the 5 years I was in the US, although I had accumulated some stuff. This I had to pare down and ship back in two tubs as well as my suitcases.
When I arrived home I was still living with little, but then very soon after my arrival, I paired up with a man who was - a hoarder. He could not throw anything out and also a big clutterer. I cleaned and tidied his place (my transformation seemed to have worked) but over time as the relationship turned out not to be nourishing for me and I became increasingly despondent and depressed, I returned to cluttering. It just felt useless in the face of living with someone who just didn't care. Also I returned to a bit of hoarding, but I tend to stay on top of it so that whilst its annoying, it hasn't become unmanageable. Things remained like this for years, even after the relationship broke up I did not return to my neat ways.
Now I have just moved to another city, and just prior to the move I started to doing a toss out, mostly of clothes. When I arrived in the new city, I was relieved - and I have had this experience before - that everything was packed up in boxes and I didn't have to look at or deal with my stuff. Right now the house is comfortably sparse and I have told my husband (different man!) I aim to keep it this way. The thought of opening boxes to be faced with stuff brings on palpitations. Truly. I had this experience once before, a year or so before my US move - I moved into a place, couldn't stand the thought of all my stuff and loved the empty space so much that it was 3 weeks before I opened a box other than to get out cooking necessities. And when I did, I started to purge.
The same thing is happening again. I have been here a month and been very happy living with just the few clothes I had in a duffle bag - it's amazing how little you need (especially if you don't have a day job requiring special clothes). Over the last 2 days I started unpacking my clothes. I have also been reading up on minimalist wardrobes so some of that advice I've kept in mind. Even though I did a purge before I moved, I am stunned by how much clothing I have. When you go through it piece by piece, when you have to unpack it and put it in a new location, when you haven't looked at it for a month, it really gives perspective on how much one has.
I have been using this move to advantage, using the psychological 'trick' of the fresh, unfilled space to carefully select what goes into it. I have been trying on just about every piece and rating it, and so far have managed to put aside for charity a bit over a third, maybe more. It's a smaller wardrobe and it's hard to tell. I'm getting a better perspective on what I actually do use and what I really do like. There is still more in the wardrobe than I would I ideally like to have or that visually makes me comfortable, but I do feel some success with what I've achieved so far, and also I am at the stage where there are several things I just adore, really love, and not yet ready to part with. Also I have moved to a slightly warmer climate, so many of the clothes I thought I was going to toss because I wasn't wearing them (ie shorter sleeves) I'm now keeping or reconsidering, as the temperature has changed. I consider this phase one of my wardrobe, but when I get a better sense of what I actually do wear in this warmer climate, which pieces I do reach for, I will be in a better position to make sensible choices. I think it's too early to tell, yet. The wardrobe is nearly done, but then it's the shoes...oh, I dread the shoes. For someone who hates shoes and shoe shopping, I'm ashamed at how many I do have...this is for another installment.
What I also dread is unpacking my art supplies, though they bring me enormous joy. I have a lot of art supplies - most artists tend to collect lots of supplies. So far I've only found one thing I'm willing to part with; the rest, noooo way. I think I need more time (in years) to decide that no, I will not ever use xyz. It's too early to tell and these are items I will regret if I toss them; I can no longer get many of them easily or as inexpensively as I could, anymore. I have not unpacked them except for one picture I am working on and a few pencils, but I think the fact that I don't have them around me is making me a little depressed. (they are still boxed up ).I loved looking at pencils and pastels and paints and brushes even if sometimes it all looked a bit untidy at times.
This has made me realise that I do need to pull out a painting and do it, and corresponding supplies, regardless of my 'clutter-free' edict. Well, it's not clutter-free but looking very good compared to before.
Anyway I like reading all your posts. Like most people here, I am work in progress. Thanks for listening.
thanks
Metta