Empathy and sensitivity and joy

[Zoe Girl]

I am getting more accepting of my deep wiring towards empathy (at only 49!). There are a lot of articles recently I see on empathy and empaths in my searches, probably because of what I am looking for. But I am doing more to tone down the empathy and just dwell in compassion more often. The empath part (actually feeling what other people feel) is freakin' exhausting. I found more information that explains the 'blocking' and protecting isn't always the most effective thing. We can block everything and come across cold and unapproachable. I wondered about that, I had one job where I got that feedback yet on the other side everyone came and told me their issues. When I was doing certain tasks I am sure I came across more cold because I already had my fill of it all! So now I would say grounding is the most effective, using meditation techniques and working with body sensations more than putting up shields. My Buddhist teacher is very good at this and I learn so much from her.

So last night we had a snow storm start and we were supposed to have a Buddhist nun come talk at our meditation group. We made the decision to get her back home before the storm since that was over an hour away and I went to open the meditation and see if anyone came. I had 2 lovely guys come and we had a great sit and a long talk/discussion even though I had nothing prepared. I talked about the Brahmaviharas and one is 'empathetic joy' (karuna). It was interesting to see that when I think of empathy I think of crisis and pain and how to manage too much empathy instead of joy.

Okay just my deep thought on a snow day, working from home has so many distractions.

[razz]

I completely understand where you are coming from. When I was practicing as a dental hygienist, I would feel everything about each patient's emotional state and be totally exhausted at the end of a day. Interesting to consider that one could block that empathy to protect oneself. Any links to read more about that ?

[Zoe Girl]

I know that I felt like I was crazy for many years, and people told me that I wasn't dealing with my own emotional issues because I knew that sometimes I felt what others felt. Some feelings were so random it didn't make any sense to look at myself. The emotional exhaustion can be rough, I have learned to work with it because otherwise I would not get halfway through the day but still get pretty tired. Some of the kids think I am mean (okay 5th grade girls when I don't care about their drama) but I have a boundary that makes work possible.

I would read about shielding and empathy. I have used colored light around my body or focusing on certain areas. Now I really work on grounding and focusing on my own body. I don't have a system really to refer anyone to but there are a lot of articles on the subject and trial and error. Some silly things I have found are eating more proteins and even meat when I feel too much, sugars and high carbs and definitely alcohol leave me more vulnerable. Also regular time alone, quiet, enough sleep. I can't watch the news, or listen to people with high drama or spend a lot of time in noisy areas. I really want to see a couple movies and I am not sure that I can manage a theater.

My favorite site right now is The Happy Sensitive. She has a course she sells but I don't need that much support, however her articles are great. I got the 8 daily emails and that was helpful.