In those moments of feeling... [Archive]

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TxZen

11-23-15, 10:36pm

kib

11-23-15, 10:45pm

Yes. I live with someone who is pretty traditional, and it's exhausting to protect and explain my personal choices as equally relevant and appropriate (or, as I see it, More well thought out and intelligent), even if I don't have Norm behind me. It's just a fact of my life. For the most part I just roll with that, everyone's entitled to their opinion and when I know I have a good reason for what I choose, I don't get sensitive about it, but there are moments when it can be hard to keep my temper, the fact that I don't do things like Norm shouldn't mean I'm constantly getting automatic points off credibility or competence unless I can produce a dissertation supporting my idea. -- at which point I'm accused of being defensive. >8)

TxZen

11-23-15, 10:51pm

It just gets so hard sometimes...or maybe I make it hard? Then there are times when I am like " I am Rebel woman,, get out of my way!!!" HAHAHA!!!

kib

11-23-15, 11:02pm

Towanda!!!!!!!!

Chicken lady

11-24-15, 7:33am

Turn it around.

"why don't you have a tv?"

"why do you have one?"
Or
"why don't you have a goat?"

Listen to their answer. Nod. Say "interesting."

"your house is so naked"
"what do you mean?"
then she describes the nakedness of your house and you nod and say "yes."

Or "your house is so naked!"
"thank you."

Zoe Girl

11-24-15, 7:50am

I get it, totally. I had something happen that hasn't in many years. I went to the new Natural Grocers store and found the one thing I needed for a project that has been difficult, yeah! Well I use my reusable bags all the time, some from specific stores and many generic. In the early days before everyone used bags I would get grief from the cashier about using a Safeway bag at a King Soopers, But now that doesn't happen because everyone has a stack of bags. So the cashier called out my Whole Foods bag at Natural Grocers, for some reason it really irritated me. It is pretty obvious this bag has been used for something like 10 years too. And then I had that similar moment, "Wait, I'm the rebel here, I don't need no stinkin' approval"

Most days when I deal with the responses to my lifestyle I just get tired and feel a little lonely. Some of these things I have been doing for 25 years (like the bags) so it is interesting to see how people are acting, like it has never been done before. And even that can irritate me.

catherine

11-24-15, 7:52am

pinkytoe

11-24-15, 8:43am

DH routinely says "you're weird" to some of my frugal ideas to which I always say "thank you". Hopefully, worrying about what other people think and say about you gets easier as you get older and learn to let go of those kinds of feelings. It has for me.

Float On

11-24-15, 10:31am

When I feel like giving a big answer I just say something like "Stuff is stressful, I'm more into experiences than things".

Ultralight

11-24-15, 10:37am

Just like the weirdo, how do you handle it?

I just feel like a weirdo sometimes. It's becoming less and less, but I still have those moments and it frustrates me. I know what set me off today. I had someone come over to pick something up and she just made a comment about how naked my house was. I didn't respond but just brushed over it but for some reason, it bothers me today. I know tomorrow, I will be over it but it's just some moments irk me more. UGH!!!

I kinda like being the rebel but just sometimes, I get tired of fighting the norm, ya know?

Being a weirdo is really the story of my life too. So I get what you're saying and feeling. :)

I also know that when I am low on grit I am a lot more likely to go with the flow rather than swim up stream. It is like I am just trying to catch my breath sometimes.

jp1

11-24-15, 11:08am

I agree with saying thank you. And maybe add something like "I love it because dusting takes about 30 seconds."

Dhiana

11-24-15, 11:09am

TxZen,
You have better things to do than dust all that extra stuff! There's nothing weird about that.

Everyone's weird in their own way...so that really makes us all more normal than we think.

ApatheticNoMore

11-24-15, 11:09am

"Stuff is stressful, I'm more into experiences than things".

only problem is that experiences are even more stressful! Well maybe not if it's watching the fall leaves drift down, or the ocean pound the shore by the beach, which I could do for long periods of time and be happy. But most experiences = stress. I'm not normal, I will never be normal, that ship sailed eternity ago, I don't even hang around normal people when I don't have to really ...

You have better things to do than dust all that extra stuff! There's nothing weird about that.

that's a good answer

Ultralight

11-24-15, 11:09am

I agree with saying thank you. And maybe add something like "I love it because dusting takes about 30 seconds."

Totally a little jab!

catherine

11-24-15, 11:10am

You could always just say, "Thank you!" Your taking it as a compliment will throw her off, and make you feel better. I don't think "naked" space is inherently good or bad, so why be defensive about it?

Oops, I see Chicken Lady had the same idea.

Regarding "You're weird"--Dave Ramsey created legions of fans who were proud of their debt-free "weirdness." So be weird and be proud!

JaneV2.0

11-24-15, 1:42pm

only problem is that experiences are even more stressful! Well maybe not if it's watching the fall leaves drift down, or the ocean pound the shore by the beach, which I could do for long periods of time and be happy. But most experiences = stress. I'm not normal, I will never be normal, that ship sailed eternity ago, I don't even hang around normal people when I don't have to really ...
...

I had the same thought--experiences like travel? Shudder. Teleport me, please. On the other hand, stuff is useful and inert and I don't have to deal with the TSA.

Most of us think we're unique, and maybe we are. I'm used to operating outside the mainstream, and because I'm a social minimalist--the only kind of minimalism I embrace...--I don't get much flak for my lifestyle.

sylvia

11-27-15, 6:06pm

Well i live in this naked house and not you......I ve gotten those comments from my parents friends saying" who did you take after you are not at all like any of your parents." Yea a wierdo in the making, in the end Im the most steady well adjusted and non conforming person. While all the normals go through all this life drama-seeking direction and then calling me for advice , I can only answer for myself. I totally understand at some point you may feel frustrated I get that way I cant help being independent minded and sensible, you cant pretend to be "normal" and sensible at the same time. Just like common sense doesnt go with stupidity.Once you get to an age for it was 40 -of seeing good decisions behind you and your thinking works for you will feel satisfied with your life and not care about what others think. Maybe you will enjoy being different. I always thought when I read about the great artists, scientists, they were all diffrent and quirky. I bet we would all get along great.:)Honestly it occurred to me that my being different brought me most personal disappointment because of my parents who fault finded me and my adult life, like why you having kids at 40 you dont need anymore you are too old,,,,bla bla bla . I realized that its my life and they dont pay my bills so to speak. I love my new baby at 40 and I dont care what they want. I finally cut the cord with them so to speak. I think now they just dont speak their mind about certain things because I dont need their approval. Approval is a dangerous thing. Self -acceptance is a life changer.
Keep up the good work!!