Disconnecting the "Saving" Response

[kib]

So ... somehow or another, I got signed up for Theater deals, which come weekly into my email. This week, it's get a free popcorn if I buy a large drink at the theater. Whoo, that's like what, $10 saved!

Now the intelligent part of my brain knows a variety of facts:

There isn't anything playing that I really consider worthwhile.
This theater is comparatively expensive, and I can never find discount cards for this one.
That gallon o' soda, which I don't need, is going to cost $6.
The "free" popcorn (which I also don't need) would cost $.25 to make at home. Where I could watch what I want, drink what I want, and put no yucky additives or palm oil on my popcorn.

And yet here I sit, arguing with the idiot side of my brain which is all for spending $30 to get free popcorn, because that's a good deal and mmmm, popcorn! Aargh! Do you play these silly games with the stupid side of your brain?

[Ultralight]

Sounds frustrating.

I almost never use a coupon. I make no effort to find them or use them or do "extreme couponin'!"

Here is why: It feels like walking through the mall. Too much stuff I don't really want or need. Too many decisions to eat away at my precious grit.

If you are a movie goer, it might make good sense to be signed up for those deals. But that is if you really dig movies!


Now, my main struggle -- to be honest -- is with pizza. haha

I stumbled upon a delish pizzeria near my house I had not known of. And wouldn't you know it? They sell by the slice. Every time I pass I am tempted to get a slice.

The stupid side of my brain loves pizza. hahaha

[iris lilies]

I don't fall prey to "sales" because any price whether original or sale, is fairly arbitrary and
I think it's all bogus.

specifically about films, I go to a film based on wanting to see the film and those are few and far between these days.

While there I usually buy wine. I don't mind buying something at the snack bar because I want the theatre to make some money so that they will continue to exist. The wine is not good, but it is drinkable.

i don't eat the popcorn there (unless I steal some of DH's popcorn) and I don't like soda.

My group of retired women stumbled on half price bottle night, Wednesday's, at a wine bar w be not been to. So,that was nice.

[kib]

I think you are right about simply avoiding the temptation that coupons/offers present, there's just something in my brain telling me that I could do better. I also wind up buying gift cards at discount for things we yes, will use (like for a restaurant we like) but that fuzzes the choice of whether we should engage in that activity. I see this treadmill in my activity: what do you want to do for dinner? Well we should eat at home, but we have this card sitting here for California Pizza Kitchen, let's go out. Next day we no longer have credit at CPK, but I need to spend $100 on my Visa to reach my spending quota ... so I buy another CPK card (20% off!), because I rationalize I'm getting the visa deal without really "spending", I'm just converting currency. >8)

I think i could eat pizza every day, with a side trip into the land of fish n chips every so often. Too bad I'm not comfortable with death by obesity, because that diet would be incredibly easy and enjoyable. Lol.

So ... soon, very soon, I'm taking the plunge and going to go a month without looking for any "deals", without jumping through any hoops, without signing up for anything new. Soon. Maybe after Christmas. :|(

[Ultralight]

So ... soon, very soon, I'm taking the plunge and going to go a month without looking for any "deals", without jumping through any hoops, without signing up for anything new.

Very cool! :+1: I like it!

[Mary B.]

specifically about films, I go to a film based on wanting to see the film and those are few and far between these days.

While there I usually buy wine. I don't mind buying something at the snack bar because I want the theatre to make some money so that they will continue to exist. The wine is not good, but it is drinkable.



Wait a minute. You can buy wine in movie theatres??

[freshstart]

I think you are right about simply avoiding the temptation that coupons/offers present, there's just something in my brain telling me that I could do better. I also wind up buying gift cards at discount for things we yes, will use (like for a restaurant we like) but that fuzzes the choice of whether we should engage in that activity. I see this treadmill in my activity: what do you want to do for dinner? Well we should eat at home, but we have this card sitting here for California Pizza Kitchen, let's go out. Next day we no longer have credit at CPK, but I need to spend $100 on my Visa to reach my spending quota ... so I buy another CPK card (20% off!), because I rationalize I'm getting the visa deal without really "spending", I'm just converting currency. >8)

I think i could eat pizza every day, with a side trip into the land of fish n chips every so often. Too bad I'm not comfortable with death by obesity, because that diet would be incredibly easy and enjoyable. Lol.

So ... soon, very soon, I'm taking the plunge and going to go a month without looking for any "deals", without jumping through any hoops, without signing up for anything new. Soon. Maybe after Christmas. :|(

I could have written your posts. I cannot buy without a sale or a coupon or the double whammy of both. And coupons, not the grocery ones, but restaurant or movies tempt me the same way. If you go a month without deals, I will try as well.

It's hard, it's ingrained in my head since childhood to never, ever pay full price. But that was born out of necessity, we were poor. We probably ate out 2 times a year and it was McDonald's. It produced one kid who makes a ton of money but eats out almost every night and is in a ton of debt, has no assets at 42 and liquidated his 401k. And then me, the total opposite. Never made a lot, saved every penny possible towards retirement, have never not paid a credit card bill in full, cannot stand being in debt, even when my last car payment was $192 a month. And if I'm paying, I cannot sit in a restaurant and really enjoy it if I'm not getting some sort of deal unless it's a special occasion.

I took my dad to lunch for helping me go return crap I bought cheaply but did not need. I ordered off the Senior Menu, lol. (I did ask if that was ok, though) I had an early bird dinner at 3p and I am 45. And I put half the meal in a box to eat today. I have no pride.

[rosarugosa]

While there I usually buy wine.

Wait a minute, they sell wine at movie theaters now?! I haven't been to the movies in a VERY long time, but that certainly sounds enticing!


ETA: I just saw Mary B's comment. Hey, let's go to the movies, Mary B! :)

[rodeosweetheart]

I've thought about this with respect to getting an airline miles credit card. Somehow, I figure I would spend more trying to get the points than I would just buying the tickets.

[kib]

I could have written your posts. I cannot buy without a sale or a coupon or the double whammy of both. And coupons, not the grocery ones, but restaurant or movies tempt me the same way. If you go a month without deals, I will try as well.

It's hard, it's ingrained in my head since childhood to never, ever pay full price. But that was born out of necessity, we were poor. We probably ate out 2 times a year and it was McDonald's. It produced one kid who makes a ton of money but eats out almost every night and is in a ton of debt, has no assets at 42 and liquidated his 401k. And then me, the total opposite. Never made a lot, saved every penny possible towards retirement, have never not paid a credit card bill in full, cannot stand being in debt, even when my last car payment was $192 a month. And if I'm paying, I cannot sit in a restaurant and really enjoy it if I'm not getting some sort of deal unless it's a special occasion.

I took my dad to lunch for helping me go return crap I bought cheaply but did not need. I ordered off the Senior Menu, lol. (I did ask if that was ok, though) I had an early bird dinner at 3p and I am 45. And I put half the meal in a box to eat today. I have no pride. Lol. Ok, I will try to remember to post a "no deal" thread after Christmas. I was thinking about this, and I believe ... perhaps it was once wiser, this deal hunting. Now every tom dick and harry (& david) has come up with a "savings" angle, and so much of the time it's nonsense.

Oh, the place with wine at the movies around here is indy, they're great but they also charge $10 a ticket plus beaucoup bucks for the snacks. If we want to, we can even have a full dinner served with our movie - we tried that, and spent $90 to watch Gravity (plus laundry cost because eating sauce in the dark is not the best idea ever.) >8)

[Chicken lady]

This is really timely for me.

I just did a pottery fair. I have no way to really account or the clay and glaze I already had on hand, and I have not metered the electricity. Nor did i factor in the cost of kiln, brushes, tools, etc already in my posession. So my "expenses" include only materials bought after deciding to do craft fairs. After subtracting my expenses, I made around $80. I have a lot of pottery left on hand for future fairs. I also have barrette backs, pins, ornament hangers, screw eyes, clay and glaze. I made a rule for myself that I would bank 1/2 my "profit" and use the other half as operating money.

Then I got an e-mail that glaze is 25% off this weekend. 25%! That's a good deal!

Except I don't *need* glaze right now. What I need is a different type of clay that will improve my sucess rate (less breakage) with a particular type of pot that sold. The clay is $20. Which leaves me $20 to bank against future needs, not spend on two jars of cool glaze. I have glaze.

And yet, I just want to go buy a whole bunch now while it's "cheap". (because there will never be another sale on glaze? Because I will run out?). Because it's ON SALE!

[pinkytoe]

You can buy wine in movie theatres??
We have a chain of movie theaters that started here called Alamo Drafthouse. They serve snacks or meals and adult beverages. Every other row of seats is replaced with a table so you can dine while watching the show. They have theme nights so the food matches the film. DD once took me to a Mother's Day special there that featured The Sound of Music served with some very good chef-prepared German food. I am rarely enticed by specials unless something like a BOGO to a restaurant we normally go to. Margarita night at a Mexican place close by sometimes grabs our attention too after a long day.

[SteveinMN]

When I quit looking at the Target ad in the newspaper every week to see what was on sale, I started saving money at Target. Now I only buy what we need that I either cannot buy elsewhere or don't think I can buy at a better price without researching ads for a couple of weeks and making special trips. I make maybe 4-6 Target runs a year, not 2-3 trips a month. We don't have months of stockpiles of stuff. I'm not tempted by the closeouts on the end-caps. Or the NEW! product I walked past. Simpler, for me.

It is hard to disconnect the "Save" response. But I'm a big fan of the concept of "Total Cost of Operation". Buying that drum of maple syrup at Costco may save a bundle over buying it in small glass bottles at the supermarket. But I have to have a place to keep it safely and I have to have a way to get it into smaller containers for use. Then there's the idea that I'll have to go out of my way to use it. I mean, I like maple syrup, but ... Ditto for storing anything else with a shelf life or anything else I remember decluttering some time later. Just isn't worth it to me to get on the wheel again. Not to say I never pass by a bargain. But I try to do it only with a short-term use in mind.

[iris lilies]

Wait a minute. You can buy wine in movie theatres??
Yep. And beer.

And one of the thaters even has a full bar. These are not the new style ones with the table service, they are just regular movie theaters.

When the Sex and the City film came out a few years ago one of the theaters sold Cosmopolitans in an appropriate stem; you returned the glass when you were done.

I what they will serve whe the Absolutely Fabulous film comes out?

[iris lilies]

You people who always have to have sales and discounts are the ones who ruined the JC Penney experiment of no sales ever, just regular low prices. I like Penneys and I like that philosophy.

I curse you all.


:)

[Chicken lady]

Iris lilies, I like Penneys, and I liked the philosophy, but for me, my local Penneys was non- competitive under it. For example - Penney's dress shirts. Dh buys 6 a year when they go on sale. The "regular low price" had him shopping at the mall. It was just a little too high. I guess this means that someone is paying full price for stuff to subsidize my Penneys buying so they don't go out of business. Or perhaps Penneys just priced their shirts a little too high.

I am seeing the store where I consign face a similar buisiness plan issue - I know I would sell more work if the prices were lower, but the store owner insists on the right to put my work on sale and hand out coupons and take that out of the part we split. Then she takes 30% commission. So my prices are high and stuff doesn't move. If she took 25% and didn't ever mark my stuff down, we'd both make more money. But I would be working more hours at this and she would be working a few more minutes ringing up sales and putting out new items.

[catherine]

I've thought about this with respect to getting an airline miles credit card. Somehow, I figure I would spend more trying to get the points than I would just buying the tickets.

Very, very true. They don't offer miles for nothing. Dave Ramsey says that if you ask a hundred wealthy people none of them will say they got rich off points from credit cards. Right now I'm in a mad dash to earn Elite Qualifying Miles because I'm short just 173 points to get to the next status level (which doubles my reward travel points, gives me quicker upgrades, etc.). I have one credit card that offers me 1,000 points for every $5,000 spent on this credit card. So I'm paying all my bills on this credit card to get that 1000 points. I KNOW that's REALLY risky business, but I just hate losing out on better airline status for a measly 173 miles. Typically I don't use my credit cards for non-business related stuff.

I'm not real sensitive to deals--I like getting a bargain, but I, too, feel that they are somehow built into the price so they're not really deals. I figure, I'll do without on most stuff, so when I want something, I'll do the best I can price-wise, but I'm not going to get hooked by a coupon.

Exception: Bed, Bath and Beyond 20% coupons that come on the mail every month. I keep some in my car JUST in case. That's like turning down free money if you don't use those. ETA, actually BB&B coupons are a case where I do believe they up charge everything 20% to make up for the coupons. I typically do MUCH better at Marshall's on home goods. Case in point--we broke our last drinking glass a couple of weeks ago, so I looked at both BB&B and Marshall's. I could have gotten 12 every day glasses at BB&B for $20--less coupon, $16. I wound up getting 12 glasses at Marshall's for $7.99.

Another exception: Our mattress is TERRIBLE. Sleeping on the floor would be more comfortable, but I've been reluctant to spring for a mattress because of my debt. However, Black Friday sales (good from now til the end of the month) are showing 50% off all mattresses--the mattress my DH and I tested, liked, but never bought last year is going for $500, so I'm sorely tempted...

[Ultralight]

I have never had a single credit card point. I don't even know what they are.

[catherine]

I have never had a single credit card point. I don't even know what they are.

That's great. Keep it that way.

My DS has never had a credit card (he's 31). He is moving out of his brother's home after living there for 4 years, and he was worried about not having a credit history for apartment applications, but he was able to qualify for one.

[Ultralight]

That's great. Keep it that way.

My DS has never had a credit card (he's 31). He is moving out of his brother's home after living there for 4 years, and he was worried about not having a credit history for apartment applications, but he was able to qualify for one.

People really get on me about "not having credit!"

But I had enough to buy a car, which I paid off in 18 months (five year loan). I have also gotten apartments numerous times before.

I have been living with family since April 2013 (minus two months somewhere else).

[iris lilies]

kib, I have to say that I'm surprised your buying is influenced that much by sales. I would have figured that you just don't buy much, regardless of it being a reduced price.

My friend always tells me how much she saved on each purchase, but all
I can see is how much she spent and the fact that she's 65 years old with no plan to retire, her full income is required to keep her lifestyle.

Not that you are there, of course.

But other than for big, occasional purchases, sales don't make much difference to us. A high percentage of the shopping time we seem to run into "sale prices" and that's why they seem random and somewhat bogus to me.

[kib]

Yep. And beer.

And one of the thaters even has a full bar. These are not the new style ones with the table service, they are just regular movie theaters.

When the Sex and the City film came out a few years ago one of the theaters sold Cosmopolitans in an appropriate stem; you returned the glass when you were done.

I what they will serve whe the Absolutely Fabulous film comes out?Pitchers of Tom Collins and barf bags. :)

[kib]

kib, I have to say that I'm surprised your buying is influenced that much by sales. I would have figured that you just don't buy much, regardless of it being a reduced price.

My friend always tells me how much she saved on each purchase, but all
I can see is how much she spent and the fact that she's 65 years old with no plan to retire, her full income is required to keep her lifestyle.

Not that you are there, of course.

But other than for big, occasional purchases, sales don't make much difference to us. A high percentage of the shopping time we seem to run into "sale prices" and that's why they seem random and somewhat bogus to me. DH is a buyer, and I think I've started reasoning, "well at least I can mitigate this by making the purchases cheaper". Much much much more money is spent and more items added to the household than when I was single. When I do buy, I've always been wired to look for a sale, but this really isn't working both for the reason you mention, most of that "sale" is bogus, and because if he has a coupon, he just buys twice as much. If I find $10 off at a restaurant, you can bet there will be a cocktail and $15 worth of appetizers on our bill. >8)

It's a learning curve, and what I'm learning is that my "saving" behavior is not working in this context. As I've mentioned, division of resources. Next year, for me, saving = not spending.

ETA: read over this and it's not entirely fair. I like buying when I find a bargain, I've just reined myself in in the past. DH's behavior pattern gives me permission to do what I really shouldn't be doing, and I haven't stopped myself. But I will.

[Geila]

This is why I never even look at sales flyers or coupons. Everything goes straight in the trash. I also don't sign up for those "preferred customer" things. When the time comes that I need/want something, then I look for a sale and can usually find one. There's enough retailers around with various sales at any given time.

I also now avoid garage sales, estate sales, thrift stores, etc, as a recreational activity. I don't need anything. My house already has too much stuff in it. But I know that if I go there, I'll find something that seems irresistible.

[Ultralight]

DH's behavior pattern gives me permission to do what I really shouldn't be doing, and I haven't stopped myself. But I will.

This right here is quite an insight.

I also feel like I am in a similar pinch with my GF. It can be very frustrating.

[Teacher Terry]

The movie theaters here that sell booze are way more expensive for the same movie. The seats are fancier, etc. If I need something then I look for a sale. Other then that I ignore them.

[Meezer_Mom]

Welcome to my world.

For the past few years, I have been focusing on deals for what I'm looking for rather than letting the deals drive my shopping.

All those ads, all those emails, all those deals are merely options.

[ToomuchStuff]

Disconnecting the savings response, well, to me the first question when someone says (or something says), we are here to save you money; I always ask, by getting me to spend what on what?

It isn't savings, if your not going to use it (example that I always used to be pushed to, Gold C coupon books). It is one reason why I have a junk/signup email address. I give that ONLY to places I know I look for things, WHEN I need them, I go look in the email and see if there is a special. After all, from a business person's perspective, what your asking is for someone to work harder, for less money. The mix is you MIGHT get some new regular customers, while you also get some that will not buy anything without a discount and will berate you for not offering them what they want and what they want to pay.

[iris lilies]

I stopped in to Hobby Lobby and practically everything is on "sale." Christmas decorations already 30% off.

Their cheesy (but cute) furniture is "everyday -- always-- 50% off." It's all a scam.

The prices of that which I know best, wine, does go up and down on my favorites at the grocery store. But that difference is $2 a bottle. I don't feel compelled to buy it only when on sale.

[freshstart]

Pitchers of Tom Collins and barf bags. :)

lmao. glittered barf bags. I don't think enough people around here were very into it but I would love to go to a show where people dress up as Edina and Patsy. With booze and appetizers, of course, dahling.

[freshstart]

since being home, the first year I was disabled, I was so freaked out about money, I spent nothing unless it was an absolute need, I got toiletries at the dollar store.

Then the second year I got long term disability which is hard to get and keep but it eased my money fears to the point I did buy things I really did need. But I would find a sale and think oh, I better buy two. Then I started Christmas shopping on deal sites and found more stuff for myself, all "cheap" or "on sale". Well, I realized I was having a shopping problem, getting addicted to stuff coming in the mail, and I was bored to tears. So I packed a bunch up and returned it. I stood in lines at places that had bricks and mortar stores, fell flat on my face at the end of that round of returning. It was in line and in front of everyone and that helped cure the shopping bug because standing in those long lines made me feel so physically bad, I do not intend to do it again.

I unsubscribed to most of the deal sites, I should do all but am clinging to a few. But I do delete them daily. Just because I'm not paying retail, I have to re-train my brain that I am not saving money by buying cheap, unnecessary items.

[iris lilies]

lmao. glittered barf bags. I don't think enough people around here were very into it but I would love to go to a show where people dress up as Edina and Patsy. With booze and appetizers, of course, dahling.
Excuse you! :) Pats does not eat, she hasn't eaten since 1977. No appetizers, just booze and cigs.;)

[freshstart]

Excuse you! :) Pats does not eat, she hasn't eaten since 1977. No appetizers, just booze and cigs.;)

no, no, no she eats hidden in a closet and then barfs it into the glitter barf bags when no one is looking!

[ToomuchStuff]

I unsubscribed to most of the deal sites, I should do all but am clinging to a few. But I do delete them daily. Just because I'm not paying retail, I have to re-train my brain that I am not saving money by buying cheap, unnecessary items.

EXACTLY why I said I have an email I use just for that, and only look at it WHEN I am looking for something. Sometimes I have bought cheaper, because I can get by (example Netbook when I started looking for a laptop). But I have been looking for a laptop for better then five years now and the specs and price point aren't quite there yet.

[Williamsmith]

I am at the point in my life when I almost always pick quality over price. If I can't justify the price, I save and wait. But there are things you can get cheaper if you watch for price reductions and so participating in the coupon/sale paradigm is useful sometimes but it's like swimming with sharks. Once in the store the setup is meant to catch you. You just have to have the mindset of I'm here for this...nothing else.

Isn't this where a lot of the hoarding of stuff originates? Casualties of the retail sales games.

I have a particular disgust for the retail store credit card discount. Retailers know that they can trap many buyers into paying outrageous interest on stuff just by offering discount only if they use store credit. I have used this to my benefit but I think of some of the disastrous situations and financial hardships this tactic has caused countless families. It actually hurts the economy, the creation of so much debt.

I would like to see a retailer be bold enough to use debt forgiveness as a tool to increase customer base. I think it might work.

[ApatheticNoMore]

Maybe it's a bit like entering a casino ... you can play, you might even be luckily, but ultimately you know very well that overall the house wins, and that that's the world you step into on entering.

[freshstart]

EXACTLY why I said I have an email I use just for that, and only look at it WHEN I am looking for something. Sometimes I have bought cheaper, because I can get by (example Netbook when I started looking for a laptop). But I have been looking for a laptop for better then five years now and the specs and price point aren't quite there yet.

that's what I do, as well, one for everything not family or from financial institutions, etc. It was starting to become an onerous task weeding through that mail, unsubscribing has made it more manageable. Also, only bopping in to check Facebook once a month and changing the settings has made FB emails practically disappear.