let go, let go, or say something and then let go?

[Zoe Girl]

I have one friend on facebook that differs than me in many ways, mostly politically. Being someone who works at looking at multiple points of view I can handle that. I know sometimes she pushes my buttons but those are my buttons. So right now I am 'liking' things that are opposite of the things she is 'liking', but all in the area of agree to disagree mostly. Some of it has had me close to unfriending but I honestly don't want to only be around people who agree with me, and we like each others stuff that is not political.

However today it was the "we are American, eat meat, drink beer, are Christian, carry guns, don't like it you can leave". Just too far for me, and it is just a like but it really pisses me off when my friend basically agrees with a post that says I don't belong here. She knows I am not Christian and don't eat meat, and I know I am taking this too seriously. So wondering if I do the ghosting thing, I have been reading how that affects people and I know it affects me, it can feel like a cop out. Or to write her a message saying I respect that we disagree on issues of guns, politics and many other things, however if we are going to continue to be friends on facebook I have to say that the post made me not want to be friends anymore. It is fine to call Obama stupid and love Trump but telling me that America is for a group that does not include me is my limit.

Either way, planning on un-friending rather than just not following anymore. I use that for people who just post too much or I don't have much in common with.

[Alan]

I respect that we disagree on issues of guns, politics and many other things, however if we are going to continue to be friends on facebook I have to say that the post made me not want to be friends anymore. It is fine to call Obama stupid and love Trump but telling me that America is for a group that does not include me is my limit.

Either way, planning on un-friending rather than just not following anymore. I use that for people who just post too much or I don't have much in common with.
I wonder if the way to deal with someone you feel doesn't include you in their world view is to exclude them from your world. If it is, who's being exclusive and who is not?

[Ultralight]

While I would largely agree with your friend's assessment of Merka, its people, values, and culture, I would suggest you de-friend her.

Your Facebook profile (if you must have one...) is like your home. Why invite people in and let them say and do whatever silly thing they want when you don't like it and it is within your control to simply toss them out?

People that are toxic to you are not worth your time.

[ToomuchStuff]

"we are American, eat meat, drink beer, are Christian, carry guns, don't like it you can leave"


A comment as tolerant as Isis, only the dark ages if over.

[Ultralight]

A comment as tolerant as Isis, only the dark ages if over.

But I do think it sums up the values of Merka's dominant culture though.

[Williamsmith]

I don't get Facebook in the first place. Facebook serves yourself. And I don't understand what you had in common that would make you friends. This is my opinion, Facebook exists because many many people are uncomfortable with who they are and enjoy massaging an identity on line for others to envy. I would bet that your friend is not nearly as dedicated a Christian as she appears to be online, and the same goes for her politics, her stance on guns and her food preferences. All this gets her activity on her page and shores up her personal inadeqacies. She might actually need a real friend...and not a thousand virtual ones.

[Ultralight]

I don't get Facebook in the first place. Facebook serves yourself. And I don't understand what you had in common that would make you friends. This is my opinion, Facebook exists because many many people are uncomfortable with who they are and enjoy massaging an identity on line for others to envy.

I agree with this. And these are some of the very reasons I deleted my facebook on July 8, 2014.

Using it made me feel vain. It made me feel like I was creating this partly-fictionalized image of myself so that other could see me and think I was cool and out there doing cool stuff all the time.

I'd post pics of myself posing with the fish I caught. But I wouldn't post pics of my muddy, soaked bluejeans and flooded boots from stumbling in the muck along the bank.

I'd post pics of the delish fried fish I made, but I sure wouldn't post pics of all the dang dirty dishes.

See what I mean?

I also found myself doing things just because I thought it would look cool on facebook.

I did not want to live my life this way. I wanted to be immersed that moment when I hooked the big catfish in the pouring, cold rain in the spring. I wanted to spend those 15 minutes totally present in the fight with the fish. I did not want that interrupted with this silly thought: "I better not lose this fish, the pic on Facebook will get so many likes!" lol

Ya know?

[ToomuchStuff]

But I do think it sums up the values of Merka's dominant culture though.

Missed her friends name, didn't see Merka posted.

Off to work for a LONG week.

[JaneV2.0]

I don't have a Facebook friends. I'm only in it for my Newsfeed, and cute animal pics.

I would drop her like a bad habit, personally. It doesn't sound like you have enough in common to sustain the relationship, and she obviously delights in being a provocateuse (which is a polite way of saying "ass.")

[Ultralight]

I would drop her like a bad habit, personally. It doesn't sound like you have enough in common to sustain the relationship, and she obviously delights in being a provocateuse (which is a polite way of saying "ass.")

Agree and well said!

[Zoe Girl]

I wonder if the way to deal with someone you feel doesn't include you in their world view is to exclude them from your world. If it is, who's being exclusive and who is not?

Well I don't say I don't want her to be included in America or my group because we disagree, and I like or post positives such as a positive for peace rather than a negative towards someone or group specifically. That is where I wonder if saying something directly would be better than just 'ghosting' them out of my life without giving that opportunity for a conversation. We have other things such as supporting autism awareness and crafty things in common. I really like seeing what people do with that even though I can't meet them in person to craft.

And it wouldn't be complete conversation without saying facebook is horrible would it :)

[Chicken lady]

Well, I don't Facebook, so I don't totally understand how it works, but could you message her something like "I'm American, vegetarian, non-Christian... I don't really like the (meat, guns, whatever) (but I support your right to choose - if you do) do you really want me to leave?"

Sometimes I think people don't really think about what they are saying. At the very least, that would give her a chance to look in the mirror. She might be sorry. Or she might say hell yeah, in which case say bye and unfriend her.

This is my country too. I refuse to cede it to people who disagree with me. My kids laugh at me because I listen to country music, and the day the supreme court affirmed to right of all adults to marry, I was singing along at the top of my lungs to a song that goes "and I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free.....". They said, "mom, I don't think that song was intended for you. And I said "yeah? Well now it's my song too."

[Gardenarian]

Yes, Facebook is horrible.

Don't feel you need to comment. How we all wish there was a 'DISLIKE' button!

Just stop following or defriend this person. They're probably much more likable in real life. People are so different on FB - it has a degrading effect on us all.

[herbgeek]

Missed her friends name, didn't see Merka posted.

Merka = America

[iris lilies]

I think it's important to remember that just because the commercial entity known as Facebook labels others as "friends" doesn't mean they are really your friend.

[sweetana3]

Chicken Lady's post is great.

Hey, my brother is completely opposite from me and we disagree with the same sort of things you have issues with your "friend". I just delete the sources of his posts that bother me so they dont come up again and mostly ignore the rest. It is because I know that he is a good person with a few strange ideas (and I blame mostly his wife.)

I have defriended some people who post hateful things either about politics or religion and never regreted it. There is a point we all need to decide for ourselves where the "hate" speech is just too much for the rest of the relationship. I keep Facebook to keep up with people and family and want my page to be a happy place. Maybe I am a Pollyanna but these issues are all within my control.

[Ultralight]

Merka = America

Unfortunately this is true.

[ApatheticNoMore]

And it wouldn't be complete conversation without saying facebook is horrible would it

the entire conversation can prove that point, so yea someone might point out the obvious problem here is things like facebook.

I mean really if what you have in common is some charities or something and that's all, if not for social media, a few decades ago say, would you have occasion to talk about all the other stuff? (politics etc.) probably not huh? and none so vehemently if you did probably, regardless of how strong the convictions.


Or to write her a message saying I respect that we disagree on issues of guns, politics and many other things, however if we are going to continue to be friends on facebook I have to say that the post made me not want to be friends anymore.

really, how about something like "I like you, but I don't want to follow you anymore on facebook as I find the political issues too triggering". At least twitter is honest and calls people that subscribe to you "followers", not "friends". Darn you *uckerberg to heck, for your corruption of the language.

[ApatheticNoMore]

This is my opinion, Facebook exists because many many people are uncomfortable with who they are and enjoy massaging an identity on line for others to envy. I would bet that your friend is not nearly as dedicated a Christian as she appears to be online, and the same goes for her politics, her stance on guns and her food preferences. All this gets her activity on her page and shores up her personal inadeqacies. She might actually need a real friend...and not a thousand virtual ones.

this is brilliant

[merince]

How about a "Hey, what about me? May I stay please?"

[Aqua Blue]

I always feel like I see things totally different from others, sigh. I see things posted on Facebook, as a declaration of "hey this is me" from the person posting it. If I agree, I like it, if I don't I don't click the like it button. Sometimes I post my own agenda stuff, when I get tired of theirs, just to add a little variety, lol.

I have much more of an issue with emails promoting their personal agenda that is totally the opposite of mine.(which is often as I am much more tolerant of others than most of my conservative family and friends) When I get too many of those I send them a email back asking to be taken off their "hate" mail account. Most of the time I just delete the hate mail and move on. Life is too short.

[kally]

I don't get Facebook in the first place. Facebook serves yourself. And I don't understand what you had in common that would make you friends. This is my opinion, Facebook exists because many many people are uncomfortable with who they are and enjoy massaging an identity on line for others to envy. I would bet that your friend is not nearly as dedicated a Christian as she appears to be online, and the same goes for her politics, her stance on guns and her food preferences. All this gets her activity on her page and shores up her personal inadeqacies. She might actually need a real friend...and not a thousand virtual ones.

Can't agree with you here. Facebook exists for all kinds of reasons and a lot of them are worthwhile.

[kally]

I put up some (not many) posts about veganism and animal rights. Sometimes friends ask me not to - so I encourage them to unfollow me and I am totally cool about it. But, in the end, it is your facebook page (or hers) so I would just say something like:

I value our friendship but I don't want to have to deal with posts like.... and so I am going to unfollow you. But feel free to contact me.

blah blah blah. That is what my friend more or less said to me.

[Williamsmith]

I put up some (not many) posts about veganism and animal rights. Sometimes friends ask me not to - so I encourage them to unfollow me and I am totally cool about it. But, in the end, it is your facebook page (or hers) so I would just say something like:

I value our friendship but I don't want to have to deal with posts like.... and so I am going to unfollow you. But feel free to contact me.

blah blah blah. That is what my friend more or less said to me.

I am sure lots of good things get done on Facebook. To me it's like having this landscaped backyard that you want everyone to see and tell you how much they like what you did with it. Sometimes people come over and you don't get the response you'd like. I guess I'm the type that builds fences around my backyard because I don't want anyone to see what I did. Just a different perspective and that's why Zuckerberg doesn't get any of my traffic.

[iris lilies]

I read several social media platforms, and Facebook is not very interesting to me for political discourse other than to see what my brother is up to. Sometimes I am amazed to see how similar his writing to mine.

Several blogs, a few forums, Instagram, and Snapchat are what I check daily for REAL discussions about life including those topics and expressions that make some people unhappy. Well, not Snapchat, that's a guilty pleasure I have for snark viewing.

[freshstart]

While I would largely agree with your friend's assessment of Merka, its people, values, and culture, I would suggest you de-friend her.

Your Facebook profile (if you must have one...) is like your home. Why invite people in and let them say and do whatever silly thing they want when you don't like it and it is within your control to simply toss them out?

People that are toxic to you are not worth your time.

I agree. If unfriending is too hard, make it so she can see nothing. I would not want this person reading anything more I have to say. And if she is someone you see IRL, I would reconsider that, what she said is pretty strong and offensive. She's not trying to toe the line, and I don't think you should do a tit for tat thing, but really, who needs someone so opposite and offensive about in their life?

[freshstart]

FB was becoming way to time consuming to keep up with who ate what for lunch accompanied by pictures and other crap. I culled my friend list big time, I moved others so they can only see what I want them to see and was left with true friends and family sharing happy events, bad news, silly posts and yes, the occasional controversial post, some made by me. But it's all people I actually care about. When I got sick, I got really sick of public posts asking what was wrong and feeling obligated to answer privately, but not publicly answering stirred others up to ask, ugh and double ugh. That's what caused me to realize I needed to change everything up right quick with my "friends". It is much better now as I post once or twice a month, "hey, everybody tell me what's going on in your lives, I'm catching up," and they respond, we have some nice conversations and I leave again. I don't regret un-friending anybody and now FB works for me. I am fine missing some uncle's bazillion funny memes, he knows I love him and will be back but that I am no longer reading all that crap.

[awakenedsoul]

I didn't expect to like Facebook, but I really do. I only use it to stay in touch with people I worked with in show business. I skim over most of the political stuff. I don't agree with some of my friends, politically, but it doesn't bother me. I have unfollowed several people, but kept them on my friends list, because I like them.

Most of us send inspirational, artistic, and comical stuff. I enjoy getting PM's from people I danced with 25 years ago. I feel like they are my tribe. There was one woman who was posting snide comments, so I unfriended her. I didn't say anything, just did it. She's changed a lot. She was so sweet when she was younger. But, if she asked me, I'd discuss it with her. I still like her, but don't want to read her sarcasm. I think she thinks it's funny.

[ApatheticNoMore]

I read several social media platforms, and Facebook is not very interesting to me for political discourse

Several blogs, a few forums, Instagram, and Snapchat are what I check daily for REAL discussions about life including those topics and expressions that make some people unhappy

I don't really read instagram or snapchat but I agree.

FB appeals for some to broadcast politics sometimes I guess (I have when I thought the audience might care), but even for those who like to debate, like me, it's not a good platform for it (neither is twitter really, but at least twitter is a pretty good platform for breaking news and first hand accounts of it, and odd links to obscure webpages). So ALL that people posting politics to FB seems to do is annoy, even annoy people who like to debate politics because it's not a good platform for it.

[rosarugosa]

I think FB is like so many things, a tool that can be used for good, bad and everything in between. I am tolerant of a large range of opinions I guess, because I see everything from the "God Bless America, and if you don't like it, leave" crowd to a robust, Bernie Sanders-supporting crowd of liberals. I unfriended a dead cat once, but I still have 3 dead human friends on FB, because it feels creepy to "unfriend" someone just because they died. I still feel sorta bad about the cat. :(
I mostly use the option of blocking repugnant sites that some friends "share" from. I like that option because I can still see their personal news, but not so much of the political and religious stuff I find repugnant. I try to avoid posting a lot of controversial stuff; I think the concept of things not polite to discuss in mixed company is a good one to keep in mind on FB.
Some cool experiences I've had via FB: met nice Deadheads online who we've met in person, had to our home, been to concerts with. Connected with friends from long ago and gotten together IRL again, kept in touch with former high school interns from work, connected with a botanist from CO and collected pine cones from the Arnold Arboretum for her pine cone project. She sent us a check for postage and home-baked cookies. I don't share tons of pictures because I don't have a smartphone, so it requires a real conscious effort to bring a camera and then upload pictures. I don't think I'm trying to project any kind of fake fancy life online, but I'll comment on walks we've taken, books I've read, that sort of thing. Lots of the same things we talk about here, actually.

[freshstart]

Like rosarugosa, FB brought some wonderful people from long ago back into my life. My male HS best friend being the best example. He had been looking for me, we had been really good friends but he didn't know my married name and finally I joined FB. We have fallen right back into that friendship. We see the world uncannily alike and he is someone I respect and admire. He's my movie buddy for independent film or was til I get sick. But he's right there if I need anything. I will always be grateful to FB for giving me back an such a wonderful IRL friend. I connected with many other old college and HS friends far and wide and have enjoyed conversing with them and finding out how their lives turned out, occasionally having met up with those in town.

The best thing FB brought me? An old colleague from hospice, a social worker I worked with for two years and then she transferred to another office. We barely knew each other but shared mutual FB friends. When she friended me, I only answered to be polite but she sent a note saying she heard I had been ill and was going through disability as a single mom. Well, that had happened to her 10 yrs ago, she knew the stressors, but being a social worker she also knew the process. She's the person who finally pulled my head out of my ass and told me to listen to my doctors who were saying "you are not going to be a nurse again, apply for SSDI", info I ignored for 9 months because I refused to believe that, every month I expected I would be better. Her, for some reason, I listened to and thank God I did because every month I was worse, I was being a complete fool. We ended up sharing most of the same political beliefs, we like the same books, we can talk about anything and we have a mutual adoration society for our dogs. I can send her six pics of Bernice in slightly different positions and she'll look. There's a group of hospice folks from days of old to now who still get together, the next one we have, I will get to "meet" Jayne again. I can never thank her enough because she understood that while I do not believe this of others, when it came to me, there was a huge stigma to swallow to even accept disability. And she totally gets what it is like to have your life's purpose suddenly just pouf, gone and what the hell are you good for without that? Jayne found out for herself and her journey is helping me not view myself so harshly and while I may not be overfilled with purpose or serving others right now, I will find a way some day.

so yeah, that's why I didn't walk away from FB for good when it was the very last thing I thought I cared about when I was at my sickes

[Zoe Girl]

I value our friendship but I don't want to have to deal with posts like.... and so I am going to unfollow you. But feel free to contact me.
That is what my friend more or less said to me.

Good idea, I would like to say something and not just take a passive way out, but I also think I can do it without being a s%% head. She has been liking some of my stuff after a long time of silence so there is a little connection there.

I do honestly love facebook, I feel like I shouldn't but I do. I post things that connect with people that I didn't expect, like a friend from high school who also loves ____. And my aunt just asked to see my finished new skirt that I just cut out (duh of course I posted the pivotal moment when you actually trust that you measured right and cut the fabric). I get to see my cousin's kids and my siblings pets and my daughter's snake. And then I can spend a significant amount of time following links and taking quizzes which can't be worse than network TV.

The important reason I use facebook is for the Buddhist groups I am on, to announce our sits, to share talks, to connect with similar groups across the country. I have an email list for our group as well, it has under 40 people on it, but the facebook group is about 500 for a group that gathers about 6 people on average. Some of them have moved and stay connected, which means if I travel I can find others in similar groups to sit with. And I can like my important political causes without dumping on people who have no interest in my general opinions.

[freshstart]

Several blogs, a few forums, Instagram, and Snapchat are what I check daily for REAL discussions about life including those topics and expressions that make some people unhappy. Well, not Snapchat, that's a guilty pleasure I have for snark viewing.

Isn't Instagram just pictures? How do discussions happen there? I tried getting my 16 yr old to explain how is it more than just pictures she shares with her friends and got the deadly stink eye, you-will-never-get-me, gigantic eye roll in response

[Williamsmith]

I like to imagine these kinds of relationships are not coincidental. FB was the conduit. Maybe this represents the best of FB. But I still want to believe the reconnect would have been made in another time via another way. Everyone should be so fortunate freshstart.......you got something there.

[Zoe Girl]

I think FB is like so many things, a tool that can be used for good, bad and everything in between. I am tolerant of a large range of opinions I guess, because I see everything from the "God Bless America, and if you don't like it, leave" crowd to a robust, Bernie Sanders-supporting crowd of liberals. I unfriended a dead cat once, but I still have 3 dead human friends on FB, because it feels creepy to "unfriend" someone just because they died. .


That reminds me of the accident that killed the nurse for our program. She ran nursing services for almost 50 after school programs plus camps when we were out of school, so she knew everyone and was so well loved. Then she was in a car accident and the service was during the week I was on a retreat. So I took some time and I wrote on her FB page. Later on this totally made me cry, they read what I had written at the service and it meant a lot to her family. Geez I am tearing up writing this. But it meant so much to me and so much to them and it was just FB ya know.

[freshstart]

Everyone should be so fortunate freshstart.......you got something there.

I sure did!

But I also got old friends, old boyfriends who crawled out of some cave they never should've left, these relationships were old and ended for a reason. It's really hard to not answer these "friend" requests, I felt guilty but knew I did not want these people back in my life. In the beginning, I did friend them back, lived to regret it and had to do the dreaded "unfriend". FB giveth and FB taketh away, sometimes what it giveths sucks.

[freshstart]

So I took some time and I wrote on her FB page. Later on this totally made me cry, they read what I had written at the service and it meant a lot to her family. Geez I am tearing up writing this. But it meant so much to me and so much to them and it was just FB ya know.

what a gift to them that you took the time to do that. And yeah, it was "just" FB, FB that allowed you to convey meaningful words that ended up being important to many people, including you. FB was just the medium. And unlike a written letter to her family, many got to see what you said and later hear it at the service, in this case FB trumped paper and pen.

[rosarugosa]

That reminds me of the accident that killed the nurse for our program. She ran nursing services for almost 50 after school programs plus camps when we were out of school, so she knew everyone and was so well loved. Then she was in a car accident and the service was during the week I was on a retreat. So I took some time and I wrote on her FB page. Later on this totally made me cry, they read what I had written at the service and it meant a lot to her family. Geez I am tearing up writing this. But it meant so much to me and so much to them and it was just FB ya know.

We have connections with some friends who are reclusive and/or bipolar. I think for some of them, FB is the primary lifeline to the world, and I feel like it does actually help to reach out, let them know we are thinking of them. We got together with one old friend a couple of times, and he said he hadn't been out socially for ages. I like to share what is good in my world with others.

[kally]

you know the idea about everyone having to admire and like your new lawn in the backyard is interesting. I read a post from a woman whose son is up on drug charges. Most people were compassionate and very loving, but one person very mildly asked some questions. they were shut down. As if the group was saying - if you aren't here to offer only loving support you are not welcome here.

And if I see one more post of a woman with several replies that read "Beautiful lady" or some such well ..... People may be really beautiful inside and out, but honestly.....

[iris lilies]

Isn't Instagram just pictures? How do discussions happen there? I tried getting my 16 yr old to explain how is it more than just pictures she shares with her friends and got the deadly stink eye, you-will-never-get-me, gigantic eye roll in response

You are mostly right, Instagram is not a platform that supports long paragraphs of text that would be normal in a discussion here, for instance.

Instagram does support some light discussion much like Facebook. I can post a sentence or two to someone's Instagram photo entry. Another person can post something in response to my post in that same space. Someone else can add their post in that same space, following other posts. All of the posts show in day/time order. The editing features are practically non existent. But the Instagram account owner can delete any posts she doesn't like.

I actually read Instagram on the web. If the poster's IG account is open to the public anyone can read its content from the web, no need to sign up and use an IG account.

[freshstart]

y
And if I see one more post of a woman with several replies that read "Beautiful lady" or some such well ..... People may be really beautiful inside and out, but honestly.....

it amazed me how women would post pics constantly of themselves when they looked "hot". Ego much? Need the validation? I don't care, it's annoying and the person should be embarrassed to do it more than once, let alone weekly. And their, "aww, thank you, you're so sweet" replies, gag.

[iris lilies]

you know the idea about everyone having to admire and like your new lawn in the backyard is interesting. I read a post from a woman whose son is up on drug charges. Most people were compassionate and very loving, but one person very mildly asked some questions. they were shut down. As if the group was saying - if you aren't here to offer only loving support you are not welcome here.

And if I see one more post of a woman with several replies that read "Beautiful lady" or some such well ..... People may be really beautiful inside and out, but honestly.....

agree with the Beautiful lady psts, they are dull. Now if it is a bulldog,,that's different. All photos of Bulldogs are captivating.

[rosarugosa]

Yeah, I just don't get the appeal of selfies. Seriously, if you can't come up with a better hobby than taking lots of pictures of yourself, you might as well check out.

I forgot to mention this earlier, but there are some great groups on FB. I especially love Plant Identification. If you post a picture of a plant and location, you will generally get an accurate ID within 5 mins. Other groups I enjoy are Plant Identification and Discussion, Birding Eastern Mass, Phytolacca Americana - American Pokeweed, Mushrooms and Fungi of New England, Insects of New England - do you see a theme here? I also like The Non-Consumer Advocate (kind of a frugality/simple living group).

[TVRodriguez]

I find that so many of us isolate ourselves in our own little worlds of people who only agree with us that fb can offer a way to remind myself that people who I love and care about may have completely different ideas. And that if I ever ever want to have any insight into that way of thinking, then I need to listen to what they say.

I don't go on facebook much and haven't posted anything myself since about 2010 (I think), but I visit it once or twice a month. I purposefully leave on there the people who push my buttons, like a BIL who posts way too many photos of himself with his personal arsenal, or a cousin who posts the "America, love it or leave it!" stuff that I so disagree with.

A few years ago, when I used to post on fb, I was Unfriended by a woman whom I've known since I was 4 years old, and her mother and sister, over an abortion rights issue. It hurt me to see that they could not even bear to see posts that they disagreed with, to the point where she and her family members would delete me from the only contact we had left (we live 1300 miles apart and the last time I saw them was at my baby shower in 2007). There was so much else that we had in common. I still send her Christmas cards.

[kally]

Some facebook sites I find valuable:

Facebook Swap and Shop
Auction (local)
Discussion group for medical issue I have
Zentangle for my hobby group

and the sites of friends and relatives. I mostly unfollow them, but just check in every now and then. I think Facebook is a great tool to be used discriminately. Sometimes that happens, sometimes I spend too much time on it.

[kib]

I am sure lots of good things get done on Facebook. To me it's like having this landscaped backyard that you want everyone to see and tell you how much they like what you did with it. Sometimes people come over and you don't get the response you'd like. I guess I'm the type that builds fences around my backyard because I don't want anyone to see what I did. Just a different perspective and that's why Zuckerberg doesn't get any of my traffic.

^Like. :~)

I do wonder with facebook how much of it is just being obtuse. I'm dealing with someone at this moment who manages to express opinions (in person) that exclude me. "Oh, but you know Unitarians are all so strange." Five minutes after I've mentioned that I am/was one. Not only a slightly rude opinion to put in my face, but pressure to agree with a statement that demeans me. I think it's unconscious (and I'm sure if I protested, the next sentence would be, "but you have a problem being overly defensive you know"), but that doesn't make it agreeable.

That's how I felt about facebook at times. "This is my statement, and I want to socially dominate you by pressuring you to agree with it." So ... I agree with WS, I'd rather just not have anyone in my yard than spend my time defending myself against the suggestion that my hydrangeas are the wrong color and adding acid to the soil would "solve my problem".

[Teacher Terry]

I just unfollow people & they never know so no drama. I only go on once or twice/month. I don't really get the put pics of the food you are eating on FB either. When we take a vacation people will say post your pics-I have better things to do on vacation then post pics.

[Tammy]

After over 5 years on FB, I closed my account over a year ago.

When I talk to my family several of them still assume I saw something on FB.

It's so narcissistic that they don't even know I've been gone a year.

So I doubt that people notice when they've been unfriended.

[Teacher Terry]

People that are really into it know. I know a few people that get upset if they get unfriended.

[Suzanne]

I use the "Hide this post" button a lot!

[ToomuchStuff]

Merka = America



Incredibly large roll eyes icon. Learn something new everyday, only time I even heard it said close was an old radio joke thing, called Roy D Mercer.

[beckyliz]

Personally, I live Facebook. I've gotten to know lots of folks better, especially relatives. Just my .02.

My advice would be to "unfollow" her. Not as stringent as unfriending (which she could eventually figure out), but her posts won't show up in your newsfeed. You can check up on her page if/when you want to.

I agree with prior posters that Facebook is for your pleasure.

[Tenngal]

how much does this have to do with your mood? There are days I could debate and be entertained endlessly with this type of stuff. Other days I have no patience with it.......and have unfriended lots of people who offend me. Guess it depends on the time you have available to argue with them.

[Zoe Girl]

I don't argue, I may post a countering positive however. I tend to stay to positive in most circumstances (although I did post something that showed with data how a candidate was lying). The people who offend me sometimes remind me that my bubble of friends and family are not all that is out there and then I get reminded to sign petitions and vote and all that.

[iris lilies]

Doesn't anyone here belong to FB groups? Honestly that's the main reason I check into FB. Bulldog rescue has an active group and there are a few others that are ok.

[Rachel]

I could not agree more, Ultralite!

[Zoe Girl]

Doesn't anyone here belong to FB groups? Honestly that's the main reason I check into FB. Bulldog rescue has an active group and there are a few others that are ok.

Yes, I have several Buddhist groups. I do the advertising for retreats on FB and other ways. I also have a couple secret groups, one for mindfulness teachers. The fun one is freeform crochet, talented people from all over the world! I love seeing how someone in Eastern Europe used colors and texture in her (or his) project. I can't read anything they say but it still is nice.