How To Strike A Workable Balance

[SiouzQ.]

I realize that over the summer when I was off work due to an injury, I have really gotten sucked into spending a LOT more time on the computer (I haven't had a television for years) and scrolling through Facebook too many times each day (an increasing dismay at this new habit of mine), reading on-line "news", and listening to NPR. Consequently with all that is going on in the world and the clamor and commotion of a million different opinions, the various news spins, downright lies, the bigotry, the asinine comments, the memes - I am overloaded, addicted to it, dismayed at everything, and it is actually affecting my peace of mind. I don't think the answer is to bury my head in the sand and cut off all media because I feel deep down that we all have a responsibility to be good citizens and stand up for what is right and moral. The things that we are all hearing and seeing are truly frightening these days, but I don't want to live in this fearful state of being. It is starting to affect my serenity and peace of mind on a daily basis.

I really need to implement a personal news blackout, but I fear that I won't be able to. I am thinking of just trying one day (ONE DAY!) where I do NOT look at Facebook or listen to the radio (which is just NPR, but still) or otherwise engage in any sort of the state-of-the-world discourse. I need to set aside a day where I just look at the beauty of life, the positive energy that still exists, and be a tiny amount of change that the world needs, and then add another day to that, and another, and another, one day at a time. My opinions and dismay at the state of the world are not going to change ANYTHING, but maybe my actions in my little corner of the world could change things in a small way. I really need to believe that because at this point all I really want to do is run away and go live in the desert off the grid and mind my own business and hope no one bothers me...

How do you deal with this? Being somewhat informed. but not to the extent it starts ruining your serenity?

[Zoe Girl]

I totally get it, I am on my media outlets too often many times. I do listen to Pandora which does not have news but still I hear enough (well yesterday and last week the news came to me as I drove by blocked off streets from shootings).

So I do a weekly half day of media free time. That means I listen to music sometimes but not the radio station with news, or if I really want to watch TV it is a DVD rather than anything that can have a news pop-in. I stay off facebook and this site and anything else I need to. I can usually do a half day without an issue of needing to be back connected (work or volunteer related connections). I plan the time a little, at least that helps in the beginning, what to do and what to make sure I get done. So it is not a 'sick day' where I just lay around but I get a shower without checking facebook after I do my hair, I drink my tea without googling the ingredients of a recipe, I run to the store and play my pandora music instead of the radio station.

One suggestion is to do this for shorter periods on a regular basis. Like for an hour every day you intentionally turn off the urgency of the world. Watching your mind during this time is important, even with turning things off we still roll it around in our head. and a full day would be a great place to kick start this, let me know how it goes. I am loving my half day a week break.

[Williamsmith]

A spiritual or meditative retreat is what you are describing to me. My choice is a small cabin in the remote woods of the Allegheny National Forest. Wood heat, no running water, outdoor latrine, propane lighting, a few good books, a sketch pad Camp stove and only the necessary requirements. A cell phone for emergency, no internet or television.

Seems like a reasonable solution for an information overload. I just wonder what makes us aware of the overload?

[pinkytoe]

I just wonder what makes us aware of the overload?
That is an interesting question. I guess some of us have internal controls that sense a lack of balance - too much of anything that makes us feel off kilter. I am admittedly an information addict so I have to literally separate myself from it completely. I know when I go on vacation and disconnect, I really don't miss "news" after a day or two. I am interested how I will "cope" when I retire in January and don't sit in front of the computer all day anymore. Judging by the number of faces I see glued to devices at work, ie students, I tend to think of this as an addiction rather than a habit. I have a habit of watching the evening news even though it is ridiculously depressing and redundant. Think I will take a walk instead for a few days a week.

[SiouzQ.]

I finally thought of it as I was driving to work - I've allowed myself to become a victim of what I call "media creep." It happens so insidiously too, in little bits that I wasn't really being aware of. Part of the problem started in the summer when I had to replace an aging cell phone with a newer Android, which of course, got way better internet access so there is that time suck. It's so easy to look at while I am waiting in line somewhere, just whip out the phone and get sucked in. At the gym on the elliptical machine, alternately watching HGTV, and CNN, while listening to my local NPR station. Another place were it is getting me is at work - on my breaks, instead of going out to smoke (which I quit almost three years ago), I now get on the computers and check Facebook and the news during my breaks and at lunch. Then again when I get home and I sit down to grab something to eat. Then again later between things at home; I am CONSTANTLY checking things on-line! I wouldn't even want to know just how much I am on the computer now everyday, I think I would be shocked!

Anyway, I thought I had a small solution today. I thought that at work instead of going onto the computers I would take along something to read instead. I have a huge backlog of Sunday New York Times Magazines to read, thinking that would be a useful way to spend my down time at work. Then I realized my brain is so used to reading the news in these short, headliney internet bursts that it was actually hard to concentrate on an in-depth article! Wow! I am coming to a slightly painful awareness that I really have to be much more present and in tune with the time sucks that I have allowed into my life. I think this is going to be harder than I thought.

PS: I would dearly LOVE to get away someplace far out in nature but that isn't going to happen for awhile. I just have to get through this holiday season at Wholefoods somehow. I am literally counting the weeks until it is all over. My job is very taxing in so many ways but I have no alternative but to get through it for now and do my best to take care of my body and soul...damn, those three sugar donuts I wolfed down today in the break room were NOT on THE PLAN! I will have to try to better tomorrow...

[Williamsmith]

There isn't a workable balance. It is not accidental this immersion in techno stimulation. We are not one with machines, we are comfortable with natural things like our pets, the sun, a rippling limestone stream, a lake high in the mountains. But the techno capitalists have maximized their ability to instantly stream useless information at us. This keeps us occupied with meaningless dribble so that they are able to go about their business of exploiting our ignorance.

Would you set a goal of giving up smoking for three days after which you planned to smoke again? Don't you try to quit for good? That's the way I look at it. It's not something I need a break from....it's something I need to break from.

[kib]

I think for most people media is more like eating than smoking. Will I fast? Maybe. Will I try to reduce my calories, or shrink my portion size, maybe swear off meat or carbs, or boost the nutrition, or up the exercise and and decrease the empty calories? Definitely. Will I break from eating entirely ... no, I don't think that would result in a viable life. ;)

I think where we're getting off the track is programming our brains for constant stimulation, basically from birth. It's stressful and not healthy, and when it's combined with social manipulation, it's a constant battle between our sense of peace and satisfaction and someone else's desire to capture our attention. Having an electronic social / intellectual life isn't necessarily a terrible thing, but it needs to be balanced with real interactions - with nature, with people, with craft - as well as with quiet time.

[SteveinMN]

There isn't a workable balance. It is not accidental this immersion in techno stimulation. We are not one with machines, we are comfortable with natural things like our pets, the sun, a rippling limestone stream, a lake high in the mountains. But the techno capitalists have maximized their ability to instantly stream useless information at us. This keeps us occupied with meaningless dribble so that they are able to go about their business of exploiting our ignorance.

Would you set a goal of giving up smoking for three days after which you planned to smoke again? Don't you try to quit for good? That's the way I look at it. It's not something I need a break from....it's something I need to break from.
Not to minimize the difficulty of quitting smoking or alcohol or such, but there are some addictions from which you simply cannot walk away. If I had a medical condition that could be addressed by never touching another drop of beer, wine, or spirits, well, I don't need alcohol to function on a daily basis. But food addiction? You can't just stop eating.

There's way too much useful information on-line to forever quit getting information from on-line sources. That toothpaste is not going back in the tube (nor do I think it should). I know people who are fully up on the latest dirt in the National Rag tabloids and go through People and Us magazines like some people consume slices of bread. The fact that the information is on paper rather than on a screen does not make it any more valuable.

What works for me is boundaries. I know I can turn off that spigot. If I'm in line for something, the phone stays in my pocket. I look at the people around me or think about something else. Boundary set and met. I also can successfully tell myself "just one more article" or "I'll quit this at 4:30" and it will stick. I know that doesn't work for everyone (just as some people can drink and others become alcoholics). But it works for me.

Maybe one option for SQ might be to see if she can reduce the data plan on her phone. Maybe if data is not so freely available, she'll be choosy about what she does look at. Or just decide to no longer look at a particular Web site. If it's possible to jump-start such boundaries with a fast, great. Otherwise, maybe small steps will work.

[Williamsmith]

With all due respect to your boundaries .... I feel it does not work for me. There is a certain addiction to the information gathering that you can plainly see on any commute to work. Despite the obvious dangers, people have their heads crammed into their glowing boxes and not paying attention to where they are going. They are crashing their cars with frightening frequency. Wrecking into a world they do not see. Few of them see their world on their way in their world.

Some day and sooner than later we will be able to get in our car and be transported by our car driverless from point A to point B. During that trip we will have the option to,pull the shades on our windows and connect to the information world rather than look out at our world. For most the shades will be pulled judging from the texting going on.....the world will be simply what they find online.

Our obsession with constant stimulation is not a necessity, like food or water, shelter or exercise. When we incorporate these information boxes as requirements for living, we allow them to direct our lives. Use of these devices does not enhance our health because our essence is movement......walking, running, interacting with our world. The box works against our health, peace and our humanity.

[Zoe Girl]

I can see that for some people a total change is necessary, in my tradition we have monastics who do this however many of them stay in contact with media and technology with regular retreat breaks. For most of us living in the modern world we can have some effect by balancing and taking regular breaks. I have found my media-free half day to be very valuable and helps me get a sense when I am checking too many technologies too often. Regular retreat time as well is very important to me, so longer periods of a weekend or even a week out of tech and media. Not for the faint of heart!

The nuns I work with have phones, one has an i-phone. She keeps in touch which is essential when you don't drive or shop for food or many other things. She records her talks for sharing on the website. And then she has a 'quiet day' once a week where she just turns it all off plus regular retreat time. Even talking to some teachers who go on or lead much longer retreats like 30 or 90 days I find that they have to adjust some things to the world, such as plan a day to check in on things that are happening right after a retreat or contact some people for things that can't wait. It is an interesting thing, but I find value in my practice that is going back and forth between turning things off and turning them on. It has helped me feel the signs of how I am interacting with media and connection.

[pinkytoe]

One of the things that kind of scares me about this media suck is that it is increasingly hard for me to concentrate when I need to. Sometimes while reading a book or the newspaper, I resort to skimming because my brain has become used to the quick bits of info. Sort of like ADD for the masses.

[SteveinMN]

With all due respect to your boundaries .... I feel it does not work for me. There is a certain addiction to the information gathering that you can plainly see on any commute to work. Despite the obvious dangers, people have their heads crammed into their glowing boxes and not paying attention to where they are going. They are crashing their cars with frightening frequency. Wrecking into a world they do not see. Few of them see their world on their way in their world.
That's why I said boundaries work for me. In previous threads on SLF, others have posted that they cannot seem to regulate their use of communication technologies -- much like an alcoholic cannot have just one drink. For those people, perhaps abstaining totally is the only answer.

I do see drivers around here on the phone when they should be paying more attention to driving. But, in days past as well as today, I've also seen other drivers reading books and newspapers, applying makeup or shaving, singing along to very loud music, and disciplining kids or arguing with a passenger. As regrettable as these actions are, the result is distraction. Electronics should not be singled out for being a distraction any more than waking up late or testy kids. I believe electronics only magnify human activity, for good or bad; of themselves they usually do not present behaviors which didn't already exist.


Our obsession with constant stimulation is not a necessity, like food or water, shelter or exercise. When we incorporate these information boxes as requirements for living, we allow them to direct our lives. Use of these devices does not enhance our health because our essence is movement......walking, running, interacting with our world. The box works against our health, peace and our humanity.
I would substitute the word "I" for "we" and "my" for "our". On-line access is a significant component of my life for many reasons, not the least of which are learning, the sharing of information, and support (much as I get from this group). Humans have brains; electronic access is one way to exercise those brains. Using electronics enhances my interaction with the world and allows me to spend time on things I value and almost farm out the others. If I let myself become a slave to the box, just as I could have my life ruled by drugs or sex, then, yes, I'm working against my health, peace, and humanity. But I don't see electronics use as exclusive to a meaningful life.

It interests me that the U.S. has pretty much made pariahs of anyone who smokes cigarettes. Open disdain, fewer and fewer accommodations to the habit, more restrictions, etc.. Similarly, I see in my daughter's generation a norm that you don't drink and drive: if she and her friends are out partying, arrangements are made for safe sober transportation. I wonder if, someday, a general public inability to manage one's on-line engagement may result in a cultural norm of "unplugging days" or interventions for those who truly cannot stop themselves.

[Williamsmith]

SteveinMN

Turn on, Tune in, Drop out. :welcome: