Enough negative

[pinkytoe]

Last night, I was reading a magazine article about the mass slaughter of elephants with AK-47s in Chad. This after weeks, if not years of hearing about gun violence and killing everywhere. All this bad news about which I can do little wears me down and I don't want to think about it anymore. DH tends to dwell on negative aspects of many situations too so our conversations often devolve into his own dark perspective. In this next year, I want to purposely look for the good in our lives. It will be my primary focus along with the practical issues of retiring and resettling. It will be a hard exercise but I am determined to find the good and positive instead. It is a choice.

[Zoe Girl]

A big project, I am very sensitive to negative so things like the evening news are off limits to me. I just can't process what is happening negative in the entire world! So things like limiting or choosing media is very helpful.

I think a gratitude journal is great, simply write down 3-5 things a day you are grateful for. I watch how my attitude is with creating the list, sometimes I have a very pissy "great I have water, life still sucks' and then other times I feel actually appreciative. However practicing it increases the actually appreciative. And I try to include a lot of world stuff if the world stuff is getting me down. So for the elephants I can say 'there is an animal sanctuary in X country' as a counterbalance.

[razz]

It takes dedication and persistence to overcome the negativity pervading current conversations and media outlets of all kinds. I had a struggle with one friend who I take with me to see the productions of Metopera. I chose not to have TV with its negativity but she persisted in reporting the most sensational 'news' when I picked her up. I did ask if she could look at our outing as a trip of a magic carpet ride to see something beautiful. That helped for one outing before she reverted to the most sensational tidbit. I keep changing the subject noting the colour of the sky, the cooperation of other drivers on the road, anything to keep her diverted. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. She has slowed down somewhat though, thank heavens.

Some positive news to report from the Christian Science Monitor:

"Today's View
Eastern Kenya abuts the Somali border. Large numbers of ethnic Somalis live in the region. Last April, gunmen from the Somalia-based al-Shabab jihadist group stormed a college in the eastern town of Garissa, killing 148 people. The attackers separated Muslims from Christians, setting the former free and murdering the latter. Similar attacks have been carried out elsewhere, prompting hundreds of non-Muslims to flee the region.
Yesterday, gunmen stopped a bus traveling to the northeastern town of Mandera and ordered passengers to separate into Muslim and Christians. But this time, Muslims on the bus refused, telling the attackers to “kill them together or leave them alone,” according to the governor of the region. Two passengers were killed as they tried to escape, but the gunmen called off their attack after failing to divide the crowd by religion.
The Mandera travelers are real-life parable for all parts of the world where people are being divided, persecuted, and killed based upon their beliefs: Standing together prevents hatred from advancing. Standing together upholds our common humanity.
John Yemma
yemma@csmonitor.com

[iris lilies]

Today after ZG's comment about water, I remember that I am grateful for St. Louis city water which tastes great! Yesterday I drank tap water in a 'burb and it was not good.

[Float On]

I want to purposely look for the good in our lives. ... It will be a hard exercise but I am determined to find the good and positive instead. It is a choice.

Wonderful. More people should do this.
One year when we knew it was going to be a hard year we committed to keeping a Gratitude Journal. We kind of aimed high, my husband and I both would write 10 things a day we were thankful for. Wow! What a hard year but we did it! I really noticed a change in my husband who tends to think about, talk about, point out the negative over the positives. He became much more positive by the end of the year.

I've considered doing it again this next year as well....but maybe 3-5 thank-fulls a day... not 10.

[pinkytoe]

Sounds like the gratitude journal might help keep me on track. I will do that.

[Tammy]

My son and his wife are foster parents. I'm a psychiatric nurse.

Although our foster grandkids and my patients are getting the help they need, it's still a mixed bag for me. I see the neglect abuse trauma etc behind the current status of helping them recover.

The world news is another layer of sadness that I don't often add to my life. Maybe once a week to stay up to date.

It's interesting that I can skim headlines on an Internet news server with less emotional effect. I Don't read the stories a lot so I guess that's a layer of protection.

[Ultralight]

http://www.begrateful.io/

That is worth checking out.

But at the same time...

Does being grateful change anything in any material way?

“. . . if there is a way for the world to be transformed for the better, it can only be done by pessimism; optimists will never change the world for the better. ”
― José Saramago

[freshstart]

But at the same time...

Does being grateful change anything in any material way?

“. . . if there is a way for the world to be transformed for the better, it can only be done by pessimism; optimists will never change the world for the better. ”
― José Saramago

I'm still going to try gratitude notes in my laptop and I will still skim the news but after everything that has happened in my head, I get really upset about issues that are dear to me, like gun control. I decided I could no longer read articles about a "responsible" gun owner's 3 yr old killing his sibling, my heart can't take it. I know that's out there and I can jump back in for details at any time but too much negativity is not good for where I am right now.

But your point about pessimists being agents of change really hit home to me. And I don't know how to reconcile this within myself. I've participated in social movements, protests, etc. But I realize the last one was the giant peaceful protest against actions in Iraq, I took the kids and had to carry one so we're talking years ago. That's horrible that I've opted out on so much, I've done little things here and there but not nearly enough. I've got to think on this.

[oldhat]

You might want to try a news fast, although it's easier said than done in this media-saturated environment. A few years ago I went on a 10-day Buddhist retreat and was completely insulated from the outside world. When I emerged and turned on the radio, I realized that the usual round of disasters had occurred but not one had affected me or anyone I knew.

Since we're bombarded with news everywhere we go, like it or not, you can at least exercise some control over what you voluntarily take in. For example, lately I find that more and more when I get DVDs out of the library, I'm looking for comedies and sitcoms and avoiding shows with lots of violence.

[Rogar]

My take is that from the early days of mankind there were two basic methods of survival. One was domination and conquest of neighbors and environment. The other was cooperation and husbandry of nature. I think these have been so much of the mechanisms of our species that the two behaviors are possibly in our genetic programming. Call it our duality of our nature or maybe good and bad. I'd like to think that for every bad act, somewhere our there is another several that are good. Both exist and it's hard not to see one without the other, if not wrong to ignore each. On my good days, I think the good side is winning.