View Full Version : Would this work on facebook?
I miss the old board culture where we could post about financial goals and such and have a supportive community in which to do it. From what I've seen over at MMM, those conversations are definitely going on over there; but that community feel overwhelming to me. There's so much stuff there! It's ironic really, there's not enough discussion going on here, but there's too much over there... :). And the idea of starting over in a new forum just feels tiring.
Anywho, the recent thread here about facebook got me thinking. I wonder if what I'm looking to do would work on fb. I haven't joined up there because what I perceive as the content and style doesn't appeal to me. But I do miss the old days when my sis and I would spend hours talking about the garden and other goals and challenges going on in our lives. Now that we live far apart and the facebook, texting and cell phone culture has taken over, those conversations don't happen anymore.
This is what I have in mind: I would like to write about some of my current goals to finance a want of ours, along with some of the struggles that this will entail in limiting frivolous spending (mainly in the pet and garden depts), also, I think we can make a substantial contribution to our post-tax retirement account if I keep my eye on the prize and don't fritter here and there. I'd also do occasional photos that brighten my day and my soul; simple things (mostly nature and animals) rather than bling.
I think this might be a nice way to share my simple life with family and close friends - most of whom do not subscribe to the simple living idea. But without feeling that I'm pushing an agenda or judging their choices.
Given the way in which information is delivered via facebook, and the nature of interactions between users, do you think this would be successful?
And please be completely honest, I'm genuinely interested in honest feedback on how this idea might be received.
:thankyou:
freshstart
1-22-16, 6:48pm
I think it's a fine idea but if you are going to share pretty private info with friends and family, I would make a group including all the friends you want and make it private. I would also choose to opt out that friends of friends (people you don't likely know) can see your posts.
MMM overwhelms me, a topic can be up for an hour and already have 27 pages of commentary. I'm not reading all that no matter how much it interests me.
freshstart
1-22-16, 7:15pm
Yes! Don't these people work? I'm amazed at how much posting gets done. Makes me wonder how much posting is happening at work, instead of actually working to reach early retirement. In my day....:) I admit that I feel old and stuffy over there.
I feel that way, too. Sometimes it's overly aggressive to the point of being kind of mean to a person who asks for help with something. They get told that that's been addressed 3000 times already, and haven't you read all the blogs, what's wrong with you, search before you ask! Other times the snark is refreshing, I just don't like to see it done to someone who was not expecting it.
but I do learn some useful stuff
I don't like their premise that they do all this stuff and become FIRED but then claim they have no income because they are not working or they are only working a bit so they somehow get Medicaid, an already hugely overburdened program for the poor. It's better now that there is Obamacare. I just really feel like it is wrong to have saved a ton, stopped working in your 30s, somehow the investments aren't means tested (they are in NY) so they breezily go on Medicaid because they pay for it in taxes and paid when they were working. Yeah, well, it's still a program meant for the POOR, which you are not. If you haven't saved enough to do Obamacare at least, then IMHO you FIRED prematurely. That was not a popular opinion, lol.
You're always welcome to start a thread about it here! We've been kinda short on financial chat for a while, but I always enjoy it.
I feel that way, too. Sometimes it's overly aggressive to the point of being kind of mean to a person who asks for help with something. They get told that that's been addressed 3000 times already, and haven't you read all the blogs, what's wrong with you, search before you ask! Other times the snark is refreshing, I just don't like to see it done to someone who was not expecting it.
but I do learn some useful stuff
I don't like their premise that they do all this stuff and become FIRED but then claim they have no income because they are not working or they are only working a bit so they somehow get Medicaid, an already hugely overburdened program for the poor. It's better now that there is Obamacare. I just really feel like it is wrong to have saved a ton, stopped working in your 30s, somehow the investments aren't means tested (they are in NY) so they breezily go on Medicaid because they pay for it in taxes and paid when they were working. Yeah, well, it's still a program meant for the POOR, which you are not. If you haven't saved enough to do Obamacare at least, then IMHO you FIRED prematurely. That was not a popular opinion, lol.
I always feel that the acronym FIRED was ill-advised. Fired used to mean something else in my day.... :) I like your premature FIRING phrase :laff:.
And I agree about the use of Medicaid etc. Before Obamacare, dh and I figured we would need to have one job with benefits in order to retire early. It never occurred to us to use funds meant to aid the poor.
iris lilies
1-22-16, 7:42pm
I feel that way, too. Sometimes it's overly aggressive to the point of being kind of mean to a person who asks for help with something. They get told that that's been addressed 3000 times already, and haven't you read all the blogs, what's wrong with you, search before you ask! Other times the snark is refreshing, I just don't like to see it done to someone who was not expecting it.
but I do learn some useful stuff
I don't like their premise that they do all this stuff and become FIRED but then claim they have no income because they are not working or they are only working a bit so they somehow get Medicaid, an already hugely overburdened program for the poor. It's better now that there is Obamacare. I just really feel like it is wrong to have saved a ton, stopped working in your 30s, somehow the investments aren't means tested (they are in NY) so they breezily go on Medicaid because they pay for it in taxes and paid when they were working. Yeah, well, it's still a program meant for the POOR, which you are not. If you haven't saved enough to do Obamacare at least, then IMHO you FIRED prematurely. That was not a popular opinion, lol.
Since a majority of states do not have expanded Medicaid, that is not an accurate representation of the facts. Also, some of the early retirees over at MMM (rebs for instance) are young enough to get a catastrophic plan. The wonders of The Aca denied that to most of us, a reasonable option.:(
To get back to the topic, OP, I've not seen substantive discussion of anything, ever, on FB. Thats why I like forum software. The FB gestalt is fine for posting photos, a few quips, smart comebacks, and not much else. Real discussion of the important life issues you talk about will not take place on FB.
As Steve has pointed out, that may not be the fault of the Technology (although I think it is, a bit) but people are now trained to skim and react with "Like" and "you go girl" comments. It will not advance the discourse on voluntary simplicity, IMHO.
You're always welcome to start a thread about it here! We've been kinda short on financial chat for a while, but I always enjoy it.
You know, the financial goals threads and discussions are not what they used to be here. Most fizzle out or venture out in tangents. Remember the old days when Jonathan was here and gave such great advise and info? Or LooseChickens with her practical advise and carefree life? Back then you could really get some meaty discussions. Now, it's just like...eh.
So I figure, if I'm just sharing as a way to keep myself accountable and a way to think out loud, why not do it in a group where there might be some long term benefit from it. In a way, our simple lifestyle has created a rift between us and my family, so I was thinking this might be a way to meet each other halfway.
To get back to the topic, OP, I've not seen substantive discussion of anything, ever, on FB. Thats why I like forum software. The FB gestalt is fine for posting photos, a few quips, smart comebacks, and not much else. Real discussion of the i portant life issues you talk about porogavlynwo t take place on FB.
As Steve has pointed out, that may not be the fault of the Technology (although it is, a bit) but people are now trained to skim and react with "Like" and "you go girl" comments. It will not advance the discourse of voluntary simplicity.
This is what I'm wondering about. It seems that what I really want - a format for friendly discussion on subjects as they come up, maybe a weekly thing - is not something the facebook software is set up for. Fb seems more of a constant feed of info. Quantity.
I miss the aspect of learning that we used to have here on these forums. But that's a tangent, and not sure there's anything that can be done about it.
iris lilies
1-22-16, 8:02pm
You know, the financial goals threads and discussions are not what they used to be here. Most fizzle out or venture out in tangents. Remember the old days when Jonathan was here and gave such great advise and info? Or LooseChickens with her practical advise and carefree life? Back then you could really get some meaty discussions. Now, it's just like...eh.
So I figure, if I'm just sharing as a way to keep myself accountable and a way to think out loud, why not do it in a group where there might be some long term benefit from it. In a way, our simple lifestyle has created a rift between us and my family, so I was thinking this might be a way to meet each other halfway.
I also miss the financial discussions of the days of yore, and I think Jonathan was a little bit of an MMM guy, a guy who expected people to take charge of their lives and to make the most of it by aligning spending with personal satisfaction.
Funny that you, watergoddess, posted this because i have been recently thinking about the same thing.
I will now go full monty: i dont post financial questions here because there is little expertise ( as I perceive it) any more, although I could name a handful of people who could give me advice.
But--the biggest reason for me not posting financial stuff any more is because I have a fair amount of of money in retirement and it seems to be bragging to talk about it. There is, as I perceive it, a dominent collective "voice" on this board, and it is not one of satisfaction and plenty. There was is no longer an "enough" vibe here, and that is sad. To me, the dominant collective voice now is one of victimhood.
Not sure that I agree with the sentiments presented about negative perceptions on financial responses. Lessisbest has been great about posting ideas for saving and spending less. Kib has raised issues on finances that I confess I did not completely understand at the time so i responded in a way that i regret now. Butterflybreath is raising some questions about budgeting and resources and getting some good feedback, I think anyway.
Catherine asked some difficult questions about financing and selling a home so did Pinkytoe in a very different way. All received supportive ideas and suggestions to consider. There are more but those come quickly to mind.
Choose a topic and see what happens, water goddess.
Not sure that I agree with the sentiments presented about negative perceptions on financial responses. Lessisbest has been great about posting ideas for saving and spending less. Kib has raised issues on finances that I confess I did not completely understand at the time so i responded in a way that i regret now. Butterflybreath is raising some questions about budgeting and resources and getting some good feedback, I think anyway.
Catherine asked some difficult questions about financing and selling a home so did Pinkytoe in a very different way. All received supportive ideas and suggestions to consider. There are more but those come quickly to mind.
Choose a topic and see what happens, water goddess.
I see what you mean. I guess part of it is that the discussions that I would be interested in or have any input on are very superficial. To use your examples, the post by butterflybreath is not one I could relate to as her living plan is not one I would have any info on. Not that it's a bad plan or anything, just out of my realm of knowledge. And I would probably advise to pay off all debt and build up a substantial amount before undertaking this plan, and I don't sense that is what butterflybreath wants to hear.
I did think Catherine's post was very interesting, but Catherine has been struggling with this problem for a long time, and she made no updates on any action taken in the situation. I certainly would have been interested in hearing how Catherine approached the situation and if she has been able to make any headway on it. She did not post anything further, and of course that's completely up to her, but real discussion on the action part of problems is what I find interesting and worthwhile.
Sorry, I don't know about Kib's thread, so can't comment on that.
But taking action, and learning, seeing things I might not see on my own, being challenged, those are interesting to me.
I also miss the financial discussions of the days of yore, and I think Jonathan was a little bit of an MMM guy, a guy who expected people to take charge of their lives and to make the most of it by aligning spending with personal satisfaction.
Funny that you, watergoddess, posted this because i have been recently thinking about the same thing.
I will now go full monty: i dont post financial questions here because there is little expertise ( as I perceive it) any more, although I could name a handful of people who could give me advice.
But--the biggest reason for me not posting financial stuff any more is because I have a fair amount of of money in retirement and it seems to be bragging to talk about it. There is, as I perceive it, a dominent collective "voice" on this board, and it is not one of satisfaction and plenty. There was is no longer an "enough" vibe here, and that is sad. To me, the dominant collective voice now is one of victimhood.
I agree that there is a lack of "enough and satisfied" vibe. I have a really hard time being tolerant of people who complain constantly. If you don't like it, do something about it! That's my thinking. But I'm sure I annoy people in my own way. Whatever that is, since I'm cheerful and charming! >8)
I would love to hear more from people who have attained their financial independence and the big and small things that they did to get there. We don't have much of that either.
And we have a serious lack of joyfulness considering we're living the simple life and reaping the benefits that entails. It often feels downright dreary and depressing in here.
Oy, I was concerned with sounding negative about mmm and I ended up sounding negative about the forums here, and that was not my intent.
maybe I just need to accept that I'm looking for something that's not available right now. At least not on the internet.
I'm close to Iris Lily's perceptions. I, too, have a fair amount saved up (though I will continue to work for at least a couple of more years). Outside a handful of people still posting here, I don't think anyone can help me with my current obsession of deciding how much is enough to cover the uncertainities of retirement in an uncertain financial system/market. Seeing so many here who seem to be struggling, I think I would sound callous and unfeeling to be talking about my "first world problems" and it might come across as humblebragging. On the other hand, the MMM vibe is much younger and aggressive and while I normally feel good about my financial condition, I feel humbled to hear of 30 years olds (I'm 55) with way more money than me (both in salary and in assets invested). I picked a reasonably paying, but not astronomical, career intentionally, but I can't help but wonder how life would be different had I taken a path to maximize my salary.
I did think Catherine's post was very interesting, but Catherine has been struggling with this problem for a long time, and she made no updates on any action taken in the situation. I certainly would have been interested in hearing how Catherine approached the situation and if she has been able to make any headway on it. She did not post anything further, and of course that's completely up to her, but real discussion on the action part of problems is what I find interesting and worthwhile.
To answer the OP first: I also really appreciate the financial advice aspect of some discussion boards, like MMM. The one I REALLY miss and I was so bummed when it was taken down with no advance warning, was Dave Ramsey's forums. All of us kept our financial debt picture (i.e. Baby Step 2 in DR language) in our auto signatures and we would update the progress over time, so you could look at ANYONEs success with debt reduction any time. Plus there were tools for easily cutting and pasting your budget and then people would weigh in.
I think our group is interesting because it's so small and we have such history--it almost gets to the level that it's like asking our neighbor or a cousin about their finances, so it has the potential to be almost intrusive, as iris lilies suggested. This is a great thing that we've developed this kind of intimacy over time, but maybe that's what holding us back from the spilling our financial guts.
As for watergoddesses point about my situation, it's true, I didn't feel obligated to keep you guys posted, because I got the answers I wanted as far as advice, and we don't have any mechanism to encourage the closed loop kind of feedback other financial boards have.
But to answer your question, regarding my latest post on "Should I buy out my BIL's share of the house and keep it for rental income"--I have decided to take your collective advice and RUN from that idea. That came under "What Was I Thinking?" category when I was able to reflect on it. Regarding my bigger picture of my debt management, It hasn't been easy, but I was able to knock off about $38,000 of debt last year, despite still trying to even out everything and get through my son's wedding, and cash flow $9,000 of medical expenses for my husband. If we don't sell my BILs house, I have about 6 years of non-mortgage debt pay-off ahead of me; and if we do, that's shortened significantly, to probably less than a year.
But that's a drop in the bucket and brings me to the last reason I think we might not find it easy to share our finances. Although personal finance is a huge pillar of simple living, the people here are more united by the simple living ideology than they are personal finance. So you go to MMM and you hear about the train wrecks who realized having 3 luxury vehicles on a teacher's salary was not a good idea, and people can relate.
But frankly, I don't want to tell you guys how much debt I really have because I'm embarrassed. You guys are all simple livers through and through, and the amount of debt I have would probably simply not compute with you guys. I love you guys, but I don't expect the same level of understanding as I would with a group of people who have blown it the way I have--in short, I need an Alcoholics Anonymous approach, not a confessional approach.
My two cents.
rosarugosa
1-23-16, 9:15am
Catherine: I would not want to share all my financial details with anyone but DH, quite honestly (and his eyes kind of glaze over when I try). But the sense of community here and "knowing" each other (at least in the virtual sense) has its pluses too. We want to know what you decided about the house, etc. because we feel like we know you and we actually give a damn how things work out for you. You aren't just Case Study A, or something; you are Catherine.
rodeosweetheart
1-23-16, 9:20am
I enjoy the financial chats very much and would love to see some threads on sustainable living in retirement, along with some practical threads of the kind you are discussing, watergoddess. I personally can't stand fb so that is why I did not weigh in on your original question.
I got onto these boards because of YMOYL and miss the kind of discussions we used to have, with a lot of interesting ideas by folks like Loosechickens. I too was really sad when the Dave Ramsey forums vanished and wonder why. I think there is still a dave ramsey thread on the frugal village forum, though.
So I would welcome more threads on sustainable living, making resources last through retirement, navigating things like health care and debt. I think the tone here has gotten a lot more negative and judgmental, which is why I would personally hesitate to post details about my finances. But maybe that's just me.
But the sense of community here and "knowing" each other (at least in the virtual sense) has its pluses too. We want to know what you decided about the house, etc. because we feel like we know you and we actually give a damn how things work out for you. You aren't just Case Study A, or something; you are Catherine.
Thanks, rosa, I feel the same way about you guys.
Interesting thoughts. I'm one of the people who was on the Old SLF - I joined in 2003, and have certainly decreased my posting here. I do post and read MMM forums as well. I like that there are a lot of posts there on MMM but I don't like the cult, aggressive, face-punchyness. I never like when people are really opinionated or say that This Is The Only Way, like some people on MMM tend to do. I like the attitude here better - we have a variety of income levels, and spending, and ways to interpret simple living.
I do enjoy the money threads, but I tend not to post about that for a few reasons:
- I feel awkward if I am doing better than others (I have very few struggles or responsibilities in life)
- being Canadian not everything I write about will necessarily be understood by others
- I feel my finances are under control so I'm not looking for advice
- Or the situation is too personal and confusing for any advice to matter. For example, I struggle persistently with how much to work, work-life balance, work lots now/retire early, or work less and retire later. There's no easy solution.
- My financial situation keeps changing - from married/working to single/not working, back to married-equivalent/working (currently with subsidized rent, soon with normal housing expenses again). I don't have that much consistency right now in my spending.
But I may start a financial story thread. I have some charts that might as well go to some use, if people are interested. I've been tracking net worth since about 2003, and have a "wall chart" from '09 to now.
I've walked a fine line about it. Confessional: I have two identities on MMM. One is an alias just because I didn't think about using Kib when I registered - I'm frufrau, haven't posted in quite a while - and the other is my double secret identity where I discuss some problems I don't want to share with my people here, for the same reasons mentioned - humblebragging, alienating people, first-world pity party, the feeling of family I get from this site that encourages honesty but also sensitivity toward other people's situations - and maybe a basic fear of intimacy that lets me be more open with strangers than people I have relationships with (even internet relationships). My compromise is that I feel there are things I can share here that are real concerns for me, hopefully identifiable, but don't cross the line.
I use MMM for some very good advice and entertaining myself listening to a lot of young turks battle for superiority, but I don't like the vibe over there.
Razz - I was a little surprised at your vehemence :~), but it was a good thing, it caused me to pause and look deeper to see if what I was proposing was just self-serving, or if I truly believed what I was doing was right. I picked the latter, but that extra layer of introspection was important. So thanks.
I've walked a fine line about it. Confessional: I have two identities on MMM. One is an alias just because I didn't think about using Kib when I registered, and the other is my double secret identity where I discuss some problems I don't want to share with my people here, for the same reasons mentioned - humblebragging, alienating people, the feeling of family I get from this site that encourages honesty but also sensitivity toward other people's situations. My compromise is that I feel there are things I can share here that are real concerns for me, but don't cross the line.
Interesting. Now I'm super-curious who you are over there, but I won't out you if I happen to figure it out.
rodeosweetheart
1-23-16, 10:36am
I've walked a fine line about it. Confessional: I have two identities on MMM. One is an alias just because I didn't think about using Kib when I registered, and the other is my double secret identity where I discuss some problems I don't want to share with my people here, for the same reasons mentioned - humblebragging, alienating people, the feeling of family I get from this site that encourages honesty but also sensitivity toward other people's situations. My compromise is that I feel there are things I can share here that are real concerns for me, but don't cross the line.
I use MMM for some very good advice and entertaining myself listening to a lot of young turks battle for superiority, but I don't like the vibe over there.
Yeah, I can't stand the vibe there, the know it all ness, and the fact that some of us lived through very different times, work wise, and I find it depressing to think about what might have been my situation had I lived in a different time. It's great they are all doing so well, but some of us faced different challenges, and they have that born on third base think they hit a triple thing going with work issues.
Kestra, like you, I am very interested in questions of work/life balance, how much to work, how can I sustain a decent quality of life while still having a life. Since going to semi-retirement a few weeks ago, now teaching 3 classes and not 7-10, my blood pressure down 50 points.
The old way was killing me, but I am only 59 and cannot afford to stop working entirely.
I'd love to see any posts like what you are describing here, Kestra.
SteveinMN
1-23-16, 10:22pm
I've been here only about 3-1/2 years, so I cannot compare the way things used to be. It sounds like there was a substantial loss of membership when the Web site moved, which, of course, would affect the amount of discussion. I don't know if there's any way to find out, but I'd be interested to learn how many new active people have joined the board (compared to people who were on the old board and finally found their way back).
It seems to me the amount of financial discussion here has been about the same over the past three years or so. I think the tenor has changed some as a few people who posted prolifically when I first joined got busy with babies, teenagers, etc., leaving many more of us who are far closer to retirement age (or are there) and have more similar concerns. However, you'd think that would lead to more conversations about how to get along on a (largely-) fixed income. So maybe there's some other dynamic at play.
Williamsmith
1-24-16, 3:49am
what or where is MMM?
The Money Moustache Community I think. Forum.mrmoney mustache.com
I know nothing of that forum. The OP is nostalgic. I just joined here last July. I like the smaller community. I was an active member of another forum for over ten years and they changed the format to something strange. I took that as an opportunity to just vanish and I did. It had nothing to do with finance or simple living. It was a baseball forum. I was a coach and my son a college player. He now works in a field related.
I so briefly joined another forum but it was so large, I could,not keep up with all the posts in the threads. I was convinced nobody else could either so I didn't feel there was a community because to really participate I felt you should care enough to read, interpret, digest and respond.
So I landed here, a small community but one where though fewer comments are made, they are more relevant and less likely to offend or attack people's ideas. I find value in that. So I don't belong anywhere else. FB is not on my to do list. It's not simple enough for me. I don't like participating in a website that tries to analyze me and my interests then shoves me a direction the software deems I should be going.
As far as financials.....I worked financial crimes for many years, I retired at 51 and I live a pretty comfortable life but I think the small group of active posters here have worked out their financial plans and that's why there not a ton of discussion. Doesn't mean that can't change though.
awakenedsoul
1-24-16, 12:32pm
I miss the old board culture where we could post about financial goals and such and have a supportive community in which to do it. From what I've seen over at MMM, those conversations are definitely going on over there; but that community feel overwhelming to me. There's so much stuff there! It's ironic really, there's not enough discussion going on here, but there's too much over there... :). And the idea of starting over in a new forum just feels tiring.
Anywho, the recent thread here about facebook got me thinking. I wonder if what I'm looking to do would work on fb. I haven't joined up there because what I perceive as the content and style doesn't appeal to me. But I do miss the old days when my sis and I would spend hours talking about the garden and other goals and challenges going on in our lives. Now that we live far apart and the facebook, texting and cell phone culture has taken over, those conversations don't happen anymore.
This is what I have in mind: I would like to write about some of my current goals to finance a want of ours, along with some of the struggles that this will entail in limiting frivolous spending (mainly in the pet and garden depts), also, I think we can make a substantial contribution to our post-tax retirement account if I keep my eye on the prize and don't fritter here and there. I'd also do occasional photos that brighten my day and my soul; simple things (mostly nature and animals) rather than bling.
I think this might be a nice way to share my simple life with family and close friends - most of whom do not subscribe to the simple living idea. But without feeling that I'm pushing an agenda or judging their choices.
Given the way in which information is delivered via facebook, and the nature of interactions between users, do you think this would be successful?
And please be completely honest, I'm genuinely interested in honest feedback on how this idea might be received.
:thankyou:
I always find it fascinating to read about people's personal finances. I listen to Dave Ramsey's podcasts regularly for that reason. I used to love Suze Orman's show,too. It was entertaining and educational to me. I would enjoy reading a thread like you described. So much of life and money has to do with our relationships. I've been using Dave Ramsey's steps for years. That program got me out of debt and it has worked beautifully for me.
I'm in a comfortable position with money, but that's basically because I am able to live on a very small amount per month. I've also inherited money, which has made my life easier. Still, instead of wildly spending it, I have protected it. The older I get, the more conservative I have become with spending and wasting.
In my case, I didn't anticipate needing to have both of my hips replaced. Fortunately, I had put aside a year's living expenses in an emergency fund. That cushion has made a world of difference. When I was younger I spent what I earned. If something went wrong, I was in a lurch. When I first bought my home I struggled to pay the property taxes and for the repairs. (It's an older home, and it needed a lot of work.) Now I budget in advance for home insurance, maintenance, and taxes.
I know what you mean about having conflict with people who don't live simply. Many people around here didn't understand whey I took the bus and rode my bicycle for a year. I didn't want to spend my emergency fund. Other people get upset that I don't spend a lot of money eating out with them, or attending expensive knitting conventions. It's just not worth the stress to me. I look at needs versus wants, and they don't.
I would respond to a thread like that here. Facebook would depend on your contacts. You could also check Dave Ramsey's website. He has a forum. One thing I've learned is that your perspective is completely different when you have debt, and when you don't. It is such a shift.
catherine
1-24-16, 12:33pm
You could also check Dave Ramsey's website. He has a forum.
Not anymore, unfortunately.
Oh, I was just thinking I should check out Dave Ramsey. Too bad it's gone.
Catherine - I hope I did not offend you or put you on the spot with my comments. Afterwards I regretted most of what I posted that night and felt I sounded very negative and somewhat offensive. I never feel that anyone has to provide updates or should feel obligated in any way to do so. But what I've found personally is that the taking action is the hardest part. It's one thing to understand the logic of a particular course of action, and believe in doing so. But quite another to make the necessary changes to change a lifetime of relationship patterns. It's something I've worked on myself. One painful step at a time. So I do apologize if I came across as judgmental or critical in any way. I certainly didn't mean to.
Awakenedsoul - Thanks for your reply. I've pretty much abandoned the idea of doing the facebook thing. I don't think the platform is geared to such a way of communicating, and I also think that I'm trying to do something that is not going to work because I would be trying to change the communication dynamics that have been entrenched for decades, or lifetimes even. I realized that what I need to do is grieve for what isn't, and accept what is. I'm going to see if I can find a simple way of posting on here about it, I'm kind of a little sad though that it's not something I can share with my family. Grieve for what isn't, and accept what is. That's my new mantra.
rosarugosa
1-24-16, 2:39pm
Watergoddess: Are you a member of any like-minded groups on FB? I really enjoy the Non-Consumer Advocate group. It's a closed group, but PM me if you're interested and I'm sure I could "nominate" you or something. Or perhaps you're already there! I do like the FB immediacy for some things, e.g. "should I eat this 4-day leftover chicken or throw it out?" :)
iris lilies
1-24-16, 2:51pm
This website is quieter than MMM, but I notice that some younger female posters have emigrated over there. This is a staid, older crowd and there are good and not so good things that come with it.
I like MMM for the rock and roll aspect and I almost tear up--notice I say "almost" 'cause
I am not a crier--at the youngsters who are "getting it" in their 20's, 30's, 40's. I'll even call the 50 year olds youngsters, haha. Im proud of them, they are my spiritual offspring.
For a moment sometimes I am envious of them FIREing at their young ages, but then I remember that I loved my job when I was their age. Loved it! So, I didnt lose out on anything, I FIRED when I needed to FIRE.
I made a post on MMM recently and expected face punches and got them! Haha, it was funny. But also got some responses that confirmed my experiences, so it was worth it.
Catherine - I hope I did not offend you or put you on the spot with my comments. Afterwards I regretted most of what I posted that night and felt I sounded very negative and somewhat offensive. I never feel that anyone has to provide updates or should feel obligated in any way to do so. But what I've found personally is that the taking action is the hardest part. It's one thing to understand the logic of a particular course of action, and believe in doing so. But quite another to make the necessary changes to change a lifetime of relationship patterns. It's something I've worked on myself. One painful step at a time. So I do apologize if I came across as judgmental or critical in any way. I certainly didn't mean to.
Are you kidding? Not at all. I think you made good points, and it simply alerted me to the idea that maybe people were interested in seeing how I used the information I got from you guys in my latest situation and in my global debt situation, which I've talked about a lot here. In fact, I can't think of anything you said that was negative or offensive in that post.
Besides, I am NOT easily offended in general. Life's too short.
Are you kidding? Not at all. I think you made good points, and it simply alerted me to the idea that maybe people were interested in seeing how I used the information I got from you guys in my latest situation and in my global debt situation, which I've talked about a lot here. In fact, I can't think of anything you said that was negative or offensive in that post.
Besides, I am NOT easily offended in general. Life's too short.
I'm so glad to hear it!
awakenedsoul
1-24-16, 6:18pm
watergoddess, What happens when you discuss it with you family? Can you still call your sister and chat like you used to do? I know many people don't talk much on the phone anymore. I enjoy that one on one.
awakenedsoul
1-24-16, 6:20pm
Not anymore, unfortunately.
Oh, I didn't realize that. I wonder what happened?
there is a forum that claims to be run by former members of the Dave Ramsey Total Money Makeover forum, it's called debtfreefanatics.com
ETA: their registration process is a two part thing, you won't be able to see much of anything until you're finished with it.
Gardenarian
1-24-16, 8:16pm
Hi water goddess,
I think FB can be a good way to stay current with family and a few close friends. I didn't understand the nature of the beast when I first signed up and now I have a lot of "friends" I don't really know well. It's an unwieldy medium; I'm never quite sure when I share something who exactly it's going out to. If you keep your circle of friends to those you really trust, it might be work. I think you should experiment a little.
Have you considered writing a blog? You could post the link to it here if you wanted (or not) and also share it with family. I follow the blogs of some former SLFers and they are fascinating.
I rarely respond to financial posts because they are usually about things I know nothing about.
I read the MMM blog and went as far as to register on the forums, but I don't think I have ever posted. I like the way MMM writes and he has some good stories and advice. From what people are saying on this thread, I get the impression that MMM himself is more off a simple-lifer than many of his followers.
I like the atmosphere here at SLF, though unlike many of you I have trouble remembering everyone's back story. I recognize the name and general tone of the writing, but I can never recall if someone lives in Wisconsin or Arizona, whether they're retired and debt free or working two jobs.
I like a lot of ideas people here mentioned - I hope to see threads on them soon!
iris lilies
1-24-16, 8:21pm
Are you kidding? Not at all. I think you made good points, and it simply alerted me to the idea that maybe people were interested in seeing how I used the information I got from you guys in my latest situation and in my global debt situation, which I've talked about a lot here. In fact, I can't think of anything you said that was negative or offensive in that post.
Besides, I am NOT easily offended in general. Life's too short.
ah catherine, I love your tough hide and Can Do spirit, yet you are kind to the poor and downtrodden.. Bless you!
OK ... old, long-time member here who seldom posts anymore at all ... it would all be boring to you ... noting exciting or interesting even ... I was first Labyrs in the OLDEN DAYS of yore, but have had several aliases since then, when I've stopped reading and came back.
... but I do have a couple of questions only because I was reading this forum and Dave Ramsey was mentioned.
Many years ago when DH and I still had some minor debt we decided to take Dave Ramsey's course and bought all his books and cds and what-not. You know, to keep us in line. We're totally debt-free (not really, but I'll explain that later) ... and I have some questions about the materials ...
Is there any reason to keep all the books, workbooks, what-not? I doubt we'll ever read them again. They cost a lot of money, and I don't want to throw them away, but I can't see any reason to keep them. We've considered donating them to one of the worthy thrift-stores in town that could use the $$. Or to our church for the annual book/yard sale, and they could use the $$ too. Anyway, just thinking ...
The only reason we're not entirely debt-free right now is that we've bought another home and will wait till after escrow closes to sell our current home (which we own) -- there's some fixing up we want to do, and want to do that after we've moved, so we've taken out a "bridge loan" which I can't remember all the particulars of, but DH knows, so we'll have some smallish "mortgage payments" till our home sells. Easier that way, and we're not so rushed.
Anyway, I still enjoy reading here, and catching up on what's going on with names I still recognize. I think about the fun "good old days" often when I learned so much and was so inspired by the support here! Thank you all for that!
Hi Francine! Personally, I think once you 'get it', you get it. Get an emergency fund going. Pay off debt - snowball or highest interest first, whatever works for you. Avoid more debt. Increase emergency fund, fund tax-deferred investments first, pay off mortgage if you can, invest prudently. While I enjoy listening to his show, it's more to guess what advice he's going to give, not to get help. I'd pass the materials on to someone else. If you want to be sure it will go to someone who's 'ready', try craigslist.
ah catherine, I love your tough hide and Can Do spirit, yet you are kind to the poor and downtrodden.. Bless you!
:thank you:
Well, I love your no-nonsense, plain talkin', common sense approach to everything! (OK, meeting of the Mutual Admiration Society is now over).
watergoddess, What happens when you discuss it with you family? Can you still call your sister and chat like you used to do? I know many people don't talk much on the phone anymore. I enjoy that one on one.
I think I'm suffering from nostalgia like someone mentioned. About 15 years ago, my sis and lived close by and had the chance to spend time starting our first gardens and would shop nurseries together and propagating plants, go for hikes, and hang out helping each other create our first homes. Since then, she moved quite a distance away and our interests diverged quite a bit. She became bogged down with debt and a consumer lifestyle and I embraced YMOYL and went the opposite direction. Now, we seem to have very little in common.
Hi water goddess,
Have you considered writing a blog? You could post the link to it here if you wanted (or not) and also share it with family. I follow the blogs of some former SLFers and they are fascinating.
Hi Gardenarian - I tried a blog once and it was ok. I really enjoy a conversation, and the blogs seem less inclined for that. It felt like I was talking to myself, but with an occasional audience. Sometimes that's good, but I guess it's not what I'm looking for now. It might be that since I'm working from home, I'm starting to miss the small social interactions with real people.
I think I'm suffering from nostalgia like someone mentioned.
Before Facebook, message boards were a big thing. I spent most all my internet time on Frugal Moms which became Frugal-Families. So many wonderful challenges, and discussions, and most everything was wrapped around the financial journey we're all on. I met several of them on my travels. I still have a lot of friends from there on Facebook but people are just too tired to go post on the message boards after spending their time on facebook, instragram, snapchat, etc... I miss it.
I,too, miss the message boards. AOL had a wonderful travel one and the blogs and Fodor's and Trip Adviser just are not the same. I guess it is like email....no one wants to use that as it takes too much time when you can just text. Guess I am an old fogey now.
awakenedsoul
1-25-16, 7:03pm
I think I'm suffering from nostalgia like someone mentioned. About 15 years ago, my sis and lived close by and had the chance to spend time starting our first gardens and would shop nurseries together and propagating plants, go for hikes, and hang out helping each other create our first homes. Since then, she moved quite a distance away and our interests diverged quite a bit. She became bogged down with debt and a consumer lifestyle and I embraced YMOYL and went the opposite direction. Now, we seem to have very little in common.
That's too bad. I know what you mean. You can feel really incompatible if your spending habits are so different. Congratulations on making a healthy choice for your future, though!
Before Facebook, message boards were a big thing. I spent most all my internet time on Frugal Moms which became Frugal-Families. So many wonderful challenges, and discussions, and most everything was wrapped around the financial journey we're all on. I met several of them on my travels. I still have a lot of friends from there on Facebook but people are just too tired to go post on the message boards after spending their time on facebook, instragram, snapchat, etc... I miss it.
This makes perfect sense! I think I would be too tired to post elsewhere if I was active on facebook. For some reason, all the scanning tires my eyes out very quickly. It's probably just age, but I find it unpleasant. Kind of like scanning magazines in waiting rooms; I feel tired and like I wasted my time without gaining anything in return. With conversations I always feel like I learned something.
That's too bad. I know what you mean. You can feel really incompatible if your spending habits are so different. Congratulations on making a healthy choice for your future, though!
Thanks! Happiness has to be be its own reward, right? :)
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