View Full Version : people who get things done
I just read this great article on my break (the writer has a lot of articles and I read a couple, really like them)
http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/
So what was interesting was the point about doing actual things! There were other related articles that talked about that as well. It made so much sense! And part of it was how other people will react when you do actual things (create instead of shop for example). Some people get really bothered by it and criticize what you do for example. I had that and it was a little crushing for awhile. When I was a partial SAHM I removed wallpaper, repainted the entire house, made roman shades for windows that totaled 10 feet wide, brought a lawn back to life and did the garden. So you can imagine how excited I was to show off one of those projects and my friends were not happy. I just focused on enjoying what I was doing and stopped expecting something from them.
Meanwhile this article or another one talked about how we want a relationship instead of being a person that someone really wants to be with. I am just putting the things I like into my life and so far it hasn't worked, but meanwhile I am doing my job I love and sewing things and crocheting and spending a LOT of time meditating.
I thought that a lot of people here might related because we tend to DO more and have some interesting hobbies and interests as a group.
ApatheticNoMore
1-28-16, 3:08pm
Meanwhile this article or another one talked about how we want a relationship instead of being a person that someone really wants to be with.
and what's wrong with that, or really maybe one is someone that someone really wants to be with, only one just hasn't met that person yet (or if they have the feeling isn't mutual).
Maybe people just want kindness, and attention, and affection, and touch, and so on (this post is P.G.) from their partner. Yea having stuff in common may help of course, having the ability to discuss things in common or wanting similar things may help, chemistry may be important etc.. - that mostly goes to finding the right person I guess.
iris lilies
1-28-16, 3:09pm
I remember as a teen that my parents, bless them, thought every creative thing I did was fabulous. Piano playing--top notch! Painting furniture--wow! Making and painting egg/ and china painting--all very special!
fortunately I had some discernment myself and didnt believe their evaluations. I learned to create to my own standards and to keep myself entertained. My parents were always horrified when I tossed the objects I had created, but I was done with them. They were no longer interesting to me. finae.
now I am doing competitive flower arranging, competing at a low level, but will be doing more of it. And in the end it is the same end: i do it for the challenge, and while its great when judges approve what I like, it doesnt have to be that way. believe me, there have been plenty of times I think WTF about awards going to my stuff when it is mediocre.
So bottom line: validation is nice, and is frosting on the cake of creation. Thats why shows are nice, people can come by and admire one's handmade whatever.
OP, I dont understand your premise, so probably
didnt respond to it. I think it has something to do with people who shop, and you think they are threatened by people who create, but I dont buy that. Or perhaps I dont understand your point.
Teacher Terry
1-28-16, 3:18pm
The article was really good.
iris lilies
1-28-16, 4:02pm
The article was really good.
I'm not seeing it.
I've long thought that I often substitute buying for creating. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, as long as I keep creating.
iris lilies
1-28-16, 4:42pm
I've long thought that I often substitute buying for creating. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, as long as I keep creating.
Funny, I Did think of you a little in this issue.
But because I creat rather than shop, you dont diss me,right? :~)
TVRodriguez
1-28-16, 10:31pm
Thanks for the link, Zoe girl. I read the article twice and watched the Glengarry Glenn Ross clip. It's true. It's not just the thought that counts. Action counts. "Doing" counts.
Parts of it reminded me of a speaker that came to our law school to address our class about career options for JD grads who don't want to work as lawyers. She wrote a book about the topic, and she said sometimes students would approach her unimpressed, saying, "I could have written that book." To which she would reply, "yeah, you could have; but I actually did." The trick is in the doing. So true. I could sympathize all day with my clients, but unless I get the work done, all my kindness towards them counts for zero and I'm useless to them.
It's like the line from the bad guy Bob Sugar in Jerry Maguire: "It's not show friends; it's show business."
1. So you can imagine how excited I was to show off one of those projects and my friends were not happy.
2. Meanwhile this article or another one talked about how we want a relationship instead of being a person that someone really wants to be with.
Well, first thing I'd say is that those 'friends' were not really friends.
And, secondly, this reads to me that one needs to be a friend to have a friend. Sounds about right.
I just spent the afternoon seeking new friends on this strange tropical island. sigh. Maybe next time.
I also liked the article, but I am predisposed to messages like the ones in it:
it's always "How can I get a job?" and not "How can I become the type of person employers want?" It's "How can I get pretty girls to like me?" instead of "How can I become the type of person that pretty girls like?"
I think bottom line is the age-old wisdom of Invictus:
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
Yes, it is about doing instead of complaining about why you can't. The article definitely does seem to be speaking to that 20-something male demographic--the ones that one self-help author calls PhD: Poor, Hungry, Driven, but I think we can all learn from it. The minute I stopped whining and started doing my life changed, so I can attest to it, and I hope I would be the half of the crowd the blogger talks about that ignores Alec Baldwin's Full-Metal-Jacketesque jerkiness, and embraces his call to action.
ApatheticNoMore
1-29-16, 2:37am
Yes, it is about doing instead of complaining about why you can't. The article definitely does seem to be speaking to that 20-something male demographic
yes and their outlook on relationships is toxic and immature and does real damage (although of course not all 20 something males). That's it's all about somehow Winning the Hottie (with some achievement or some trick or other). But what if it's not? What if mature adult relationships aren't about any of that? Thank heavens I'm not that age. I found it intolerable when I was, but guys have matured since then :). But yes it's all 20 something neurosis, the Winning the Hottie stuff is male, but in the comments bunch of self-hating 20 somethings of both sexes.
I just wanted to scream about the women who supposedly want guitar players, that if a grown woman (not a 14 year old) is still obsessed with guitar players (as if that's really something that matters so much in a relationship!), that is represents perhaps her own sublimated desire to do music herself (unless she already does and just wants someone who can accompany her musically of course). To go see music sure, but to need to date a musician? Decades of feminism and this is what we get? Grrr. I am woman, hear me riff!
Yes if you don't do anything nothing gets done on a practical level, but this is common sense. Doing should be balanced with not doing. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. It makes Jack a machine. He claims people are taking in so much media rather than creating it, but I find that I do not take in ENOUGH meaningful media (but then I'm not some 20 something demographic, and overworked boring middle aged people who find themselves in ruts of busywork and chores are a dime a dozen). I don't take in enough good novels, enough good music. I feel more would be good (but is that doing or not doing? I'm so confused ....). Surfing the web mindlessly otoh well yea.
Funny, I Did think of you a little in this issue.
But because I creat rather than shop, you dont diss me,right? :~)
I have the greatest regard for creative people. My own creativity rarely gets beyond the design stage. :|(
I have found some of the people in my age range also struggle with this, which makes it hard to date. Of course I am sorta the same way. I deal a lot with lonliness but then I am so tired and don't have much to talk about except work. I do find that my work is a little more interesting and I share some awesome positive stories so I haven't encountered a lot of boredom from others, but I am tired.
Ultralight
1-29-16, 12:50pm
...I am so tired and don't have much to talk about except work.
When does this trend change?
Gardenarian
1-29-16, 2:41pm
Thanks for posting, Zoe Girl - lots of things to discuss in that article.
I agree with ANM about "Making yourself the kind of person someone else wants to have a relationship with." I don't feel I should have to change myself to be friends with people. This might apply well to a narcissistic 17-year-old (probably the article's target audience) but not so much to fully formed adults.
I'm amazed that your friends would criticize your creative efforts. What, they think you should spend more time watching cat videos or playing Candy Crush?
I was just thinking the other day that when I was younger the people I admired were cool, upper class, sophisticated, all that. Now the people I admire are the ones who can fix a faucet, build a shed, manage a big group of volunteers, the talented few who have worked at their crafts and are master artists (musicians, dancers, actors) - people who do things.
Ultralight
1-29-16, 2:47pm
There are three kinds of people in the world:
1. People who make things happen.
2. People who watch things happen.
3. People who say: "What happened?"
(Courtesy of Diamond David Lee Roth)
I'm amazed that your friends would criticize your creative efforts. What, they think you should spend more time watching cat videos or playing Candy Crush?
.
I think it was just bad vibes in some ways, like they didn't have the time or the skills to do it so they were acting out of their own feelings. But it would have been nice to have a different response and I have different friends now.
iris lilies
1-29-16, 4:52pm
I think it was just bad vibes in some ways, like they didn't have the time or the skills to do it so they were acting out of their own feelings. But it would have been nice to have a different response and I have different friends now.
I can't imagine getting that response from my friends.
We are all very admiring of one another's skills, I think.But there we go, down that path of looking at what people "do."
remember the "love language " idea? The one that resonates with me is "Acts of Service" so yeah, "doing" is critically important to me. One of our friends is a fabulous cook. I admire that very much and then she brings us food when she has cooked a double batch. Wow! That is fabulous.
In the "doing" areena I am most impressed with people who can do left brain and right brain stuff. A young woman we know trained as an accountant, but she does some pretty impressive artiststic endeavors as well. And oh yeah, she rewired her house feom to to bottom. And she designs sets for a local theater company. These skills in the same person fascinate me.
Here is an interesting article that really confirms the creativity issue, and validated what I have experienced. Basically people like the results of creativity but don't really like supporting it during the process. But they do mention that the social isolation that can come with creativity being rejected can spur more creativity.
http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/science/2013/12/creativity_is_rejected_teachers_and_bosses_don_t_v alue_out_of_the_box_thinking.html
catherine
1-30-16, 10:40am
In the "doing" areena I am most impressed with people who can do left brain and right brain stuff. A young woman we know trained as an accountant, but she does some pretty impressive artiststic endeavors as well. And oh yeah, she rewired her house feom to to bottom. And she designs sets for a local theater company. These skills in the same person fascinate me.
I agree! The Renaissance ideal! My DILs mother was like that--she was a baker (she sold her baked goods in the local store), a carpenter (she relocated a stairway in her home), a businesswoman, and an artist. I'm sure my DIL really misses her because she must have been a great role model.
A lot of the early polymer artists worked as scientists when they weren't creating. I think of the "whole-brain" creator as the ideal.
iris lilies
1-30-16, 11:06am
A lot of the early polymer artists worked as scientists when they weren't creating. I think of the "whole-brain" creator as the ideal.
Well, I also think it's likely that the whole "right and left" brain thing has been oversold in popular culture. I use the concept lightly myself (and never remember which side produces artistic endeavors) and thinks it's likely that right/keft brain separation isnt clear in most people.
Our friend was telling us last night that 80% of women can vidualize spatial relatinships in a way that 20% of men cannot. The exaple she gave: a cereal box folded flat--women can visualize what it looks like when put together, men cant.
In our household its probably the opposite, DH can see things I cant.
Our friend was telling us last night that 80% of women can vidualize spatial relatinships in a way that 20% of men cannot. I'm confused, does this mean that 20% of women cannot or 80% of men can?
when we were househunting one time I could draw a floor plan of any house we walked through from memory. I also think on large sheets of paper. Different than my ex who has a science degree and thought more linear style, however there was a fair amount of scientific chaos. It is amazing we raised these kids! I pulled on all my organizational parts a lot those years but always had to have a creative project going. For many years my mom was rather negative about it, like creative things were the things that were extra rather than essential. Now she sees that my emotional health has a lot to do with regular creative activities.
My mother was a riot of creativity and my father had a strong problem-solving bent. On good days, I like to think I inherited a bit of both.
iris lilies
1-30-16, 1:00pm
I'm confused, does this mean that 20% of women cannot or 80% of men can?
Oh sorry, i mean that 80% of men can't.
but I'm not buying it exactly, yet she is convinced of this. another example she uses is Packing: women can visualize how to pack a car, a box, etc getting the most out of the space better than men.
but in my household the expert packer is DH.
I'm the packer, the small space organizer, and the person who can draw a floor plan from memory. Also a good navigator. But I think I have a type of dyslexia, I'm lousy at converting two dimensions to three and vice versa.
iris lilies
1-30-16, 2:20pm
Oh sorry, i mean that 80% of men can't.
but I'm not buying it exactly, yet she is convinced of this. another example she uses is Packing: women can visualize how to pack a car, a box, etc getting the most out of the space better than men.
but in my household the expert packer is DH.
Edited to add: my friend is saynf this based on researxh she read years ago. She's got a science doctorate from an ivy league school and has run an executive placement company so she has interest in scientific studies of human skill sets.
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