View Full Version : A box of keepsake letters
Still cleaning out the house for eventual sale and found a box in my closet that I hesitated looking at for years. It is about the size of a small boot box and filled with hand-written letters from my youth. Old boyfriends, high school friends...letters from my parents with advice, apologies and wishes. Letters from a summer spent in Mexico. Looking through them actually "sparked joy" as the Kondo book refers to. The thing that struck me though was how they poured their hearts out by hand as some of them were front and back 4-5 pages long. Does anyone actually write letters anymore? I miss them actually.
Does anyone actually write letters anymore?
Nope. Shoot, people don't even write by hand anymore for any reason, and when they do, they use block letters. Cursive will be as quaint as manuscript illuminations soon.
Ultralight
2-4-16, 12:40pm
I would like to write more snail mail letters. I do it from time to time. Last year around this time I wrote a love letter to my girlfriend for Valentine's Day.
But I cannot write in cursive. I think this is partly because I was born left-handed but my mom taught me to be right-handed. And it is partly because of typing and no required use of cursive in schools.
Now I am just mixed up!
Chicken lady
2-4-16, 12:57pm
My kids can't write cursive. I homeschooled them and they chose not to learn it. (Yeah, there's a lot in that sentence, moving on...)
my husband and I spent three years dating almost entirely by mail. We saved all the letters and on our 20th anniversary he took me out to dinner and brought along a random handful. The idea was to read them together, but after starting to read several and putting them aside (maybe this one is better) I looked at him and said "you were dull." He replied "you were insane." I said "you married the insane chick." His answer was "which has not been dull." And we gave up on the letters and just laughed.
i used to write a lot of people regularly. They got on Facebook and stopped writing back and I am not on Facebook so they are basically gone from my life, as I am from theirs. Apparently we were not as close as I thought. I am not worth a stamp, or an e-mail. I suppose they would say it's less to ask me to stay in touch on Facebook, but that seems less like staying in touch and more like reading the society pages or local "poking around town" column from back when almost everyone actually got a daily newspaper.
IshbelRobertson
2-4-16, 1:07pm
Mu school taught us 'convent script', a more flowing form of italic handwriting. I still use it, with a few slight modifications!
If you can't write cursive....can you read it? I taught the boys cursive when we homeschooled the early years but when they entered school at 7th grade they didn't use it any. One still writes with it, the other prints and claims he can't read cursive very well. I miss getting letters in the mail box, sitting on the front porch with a cup of coffee or glass of wine and pouring over 4 pages of friend's news and thoughts. I love writing in cursive. I'm not a doodler but a writer in that when I'm doing something like watching a movie or talking on the phone I write words in the conversation or in the movie and I'll end up with a page or two of just random words (all cursive).
Chicken lady
2-4-16, 1:50pm
If it is clear cursive, they can read it - they can figure out the letters that look really strange from context. If it is fancy or messy, they struggle. My grandmother wrote them letters for years and she never learned to print, so they learned to read it, but she had excellent penmanship.
i can't remember if it was the act or the sat, but one of them required the student to write out a statement in cursive and sign it as an anti-cheating handwriting sample (there was no warning that this would happen). I asked my daughter what she did and she said "I just wrote all the words without picking my pen up. I'd say it's a pretty unique writing sample.
years ago I corresponded with a friend in Tolken elvish runes. Those letters are all gibberish to me now. I've forgotten all of it. I thought that was really pretty though.
I am not on Facebook
I have an account but long ago stopped posting and set privacy settings to highest possible. Though people talk about how connected we are now, FB talk seem shallow to me. Initially, it was about keeping up with each other but now seem just a place to post a lot of stupid, momentary things. When I do check it, it occurs to me that my "friends" must be spending inane amounts of time on the internet. Because people rarely communicate any other way besides social media and texting now, it feels like we are losing something. The irony is here we sit "communicating" with each other on this site. And as for simple living, that's the only easy way to find like minds. So that's a good thing. Should we meet in the flesh, would we be so forthcoming?
I have one friend I regularly correspond with. I have almost 200 other friends and relatives that I stay in touch with via Facebook. Another handful that are among my Twitter followers.
I've thought this through. Sure, I use the platforms for daily hellos and news, at base they are tools for communication. I keep the receivers in mind. So, if I share something I frequently tag someone if my reason for sharing reminded me of them. Kind of like clipping an article and mailing it with a note.
Saving letters: a few. I've sent some to recycling that I wish I'd kept but they are still in my heart.
Chicken lady
2-4-16, 2:12pm
Well, years ago I was on a parenting site and a bunch of us moms who lived within 6 hours of each other organized a meet up at a state park. The dads circled each other like wary dogs for the most part, but the moms and kids had a lot of fun. One of those moms is still one of my best friends even though we live an entire state apart - we e-mail and call regularly, visit now and then, and share a lot. When her husband turned out to be pretty much an actual dog (guys, refusing to stop texting your mistress during the marriage counseling appointmeats is usually a deal breaker.) she lived with us for a summer while she went back to school to brush up her credentials.
I would like to write more snail mail letters. I do it from time to time. Last year around this time I wrote a love letter to my girlfriend for Valentine's Day.
How sweet! Did you sign it "All my conditional love, UA"? (Sorry, couldn't resist, just busting b***s, from your post in the two emotions thread ;)
How sweet! Did you sign it "All my conditional love, UA"? (Sorry, couldn't resist, just busting b***s, from your post in the two emotions thread ;)
She knows my love is conditional and has thus far managed to meet a nominally adequate number of those conditions.
Williamsmith
2-4-16, 3:40pm
I dated my wife from a distance for four years and yes, I wrote cheesy poetry to her and much embarrassing stuff that she has saved. Now, I only fear that my kids will read them when we pass away and they will laugh uncontrollably at the stranger who turned into their father. I can't figure out how to make hem disappear without my wife knowing. Not quite worth burning the house down for though.
I dated my wife from a distance for four years and yes, I wrote cheesy poetry to her and much embarrassing stuff that she has saved. Now, I only fear that my kids will read them when we pass away and they will laugh uncontrollably at the stranger who turned into their father. I can't figure out how to make hem disappear without my wife knowing. Not quite worth burning the house down for though.
noooooooo, I would love to find even one love letter from my dad to my mom and it wouldn't matter if it was corny. Even if you pick just one good one for them to "find". My parents were separated for long periods when he was in the Army, I am hoping hoarder mom kept the letters, but I don't even know if there were any, asking her tonight.
I met ex-BF on Match and he lived an hour away, it was hard with kid scheduling to meet up as often as we'd like. So in the beginning, we emailed like crazy. We each liked the way the other wrote so we were willing to read really long emails. After 7 yrs, we had drifted way apart and it ended. I had kept every single email since the first Match one. I dumped them. I wish I had kept them because I just realized I probably had a book in there that could've been sussed out instead of starting all over with writing as Jane suggests, lol.
my lawyer told me to keep every email from my ex-husband. I did and when my 9 yr old laptop died and I was trying to back up all his emails, I realized there were 6000! That's not counting my responses. There's definitely a book to be had there, but horror is not my niche.
...they will laugh uncontrollably at the stranger who turned into their father.
And they will also see you as a more complete person.
At the last family gathering (the one with the Irish DNA revelation) I was prompted by my sis and BIL to do my dark comedy shtick about my horrible experiences with bullying in middle school and high school. Everyone laughed and remarked that much of that stuff I went through was totally unbelievable.
But at the end my dad looked at me and said: "That was much like what I went through in school."
It actually made me look at him less like a stranger and more like a complete person with feelings and experiences of his own.
Perhaps your kids reading those poems or letters would have a similar function.
At the last family gathering (the one with the Irish DNA revelation) I was prompted by my sis and BIL to do my dark comedy shtick about my horrible experiences with bullying in middle school and high school. Everyone laughed and remarked that much of that stuff I went through was totally unbelievable.
But at the end my dad looked at me and said: "That was much like what I went through in school."
It actually made me look at him less like a stranger and more like a complete person with feelings and experiences of his own.
.
UA, IMHO this is huge.
rodeosweetheart
2-4-16, 4:18pm
I have started writing letters to my dad again and putting in photos that I print off of his great grandchildren, wooden boats (he was an avid sailer), etc. He has gotten where he cannot deal with the email anymore, and it is very satisfying to return to written letters. So I am starting to print pictures and put them in letters-- Steve in MN said his wife did this, and I thought, what a great idea!
I am de-digitalizing this year, as much as I can.
My father, ever the stranger, kept all the letters to and from from his mistress. It was very weird to read them after his death knowing that his heart was always with her and not the family he left behind. My older brother wanted to trash the letters immediately, but I stashed a few away to read later. After holding on to them a few years, I shredded all. I don't think any of the ones I found of mine are incriminating or hurtful in that way - just a chronicle of my innocent life in the late 60s-early70s. I think DD will get a kick out of reading them when I am gone.
I'll be the first to admit that I'm a letter freak. I think I have every letter ever sent to me. I have always loved writing them and receiving them. The more time passes the more precious they become. I save articles that I run across that somebody might enjoy and enclose them. I have an assortment of pens that I use. Fountain pens are my favorite. I do watercolors and make cards out of them and use that in place of stationary. I will often paint something on the envelope as well.
I often spent an amount of time in the homes of clients while doing my volunteer jobs. I can't help but observe what is important to them, what they read, what they display. I will often do a painting with those elements, make a card out of it and give it for their birthday along with a letter. I was shocked to see how it resonated with the older clients. Those cards have gone up on the mantel and stayed there.
I pull my boxes of letters out at least every couple of years. I recently went through a stash of cards from my mom and was so overwhelmed with missing her but also laughing at how funny she was. So very important to me in that moment. If I hadn't saved them I would not have remembered those positive moments...... because they were rare.
It takes time and effort to write a heartfelt letter. It is a gift to both the writer and to the receiver. I cherish them. I write at least one a week to somebody somewhere. I always get a response in one way or another.
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