View Full Version : Regrets of tossing
I tossed Clayman a small terra-cotta strawberry planter I got for a gift when I was 10 years old. He had a clay hat that broke 15 years ago, but Clayman survived 30 moves and sat in every garden I ever had.
During my frenzy of almost moving in December, I was angry and got rid of way to much, more than I should have. I looked at Clayman and thought really why keep him, a chipped old piece of terra-cotta. He went in the dumpster. I actually debated retrieving him the next day, the sadness got to me. I never felt that way about anything before.
I Miss him. Does that sound stupid or what:( One time about 17 years ago we found a large Clayman somewhere and I bought him, but he was cheap and broke apart after a year. SO I have been on a mission to find a new Clayman or something to replace him. No luck yet and I have been all over the net.
Anyone feel that way about anything you Tossed during your decluttering????
I still have the teddybear I got from my godparents when I was 3 and had surgery. He's ratty, worn out, has no fur left, has had his neck restitched too many times to count. If he went into the trash, I would be heartbroken. Even for a ratty bear. I understand how you could be attached to Clayman, even though on the surface he was "only" a terra cotta statue.
The most I've ever regretted throwing out were some useful books. Most of which are now out of print, so can't easily be replaced. I don't have much in the way of sentimental stuff, but the small amount I do have is untouchable. I'm going to be an old lady in a elderly home with that teddy bear, and the pair of candlestick holders my brother made me when he was 11 as a thank you present for me having him up to my first apartment after college and taking him places all weekend, and the ratty vegetable scrub brushes my nephew gave me when he was 5 because he remembered I liked vegetables.
Sorry you feel regret, I would too for something sentimental.
I have tossed a few things that i ended up needing later -- such as a box fan. But the items were fairly inexpensive.
My regrets focus mostly on the things I bought over the course of my life that turned out to be a needless waste of money.
With that said, I am still really careful about not tossing things that I have a strong feeling I may want/need later.
It is a delicate balancing routine, for sure.
I was very close to my grandmother, who I found dead when I was 18. She was of German descent and I think that the way her family was, no knick knacks, completely organized house led to her way of keeping her home. I had spent huge amounts of time with her, others found her prickly and difficult to get along with, she was not that way with me at all. When going through her house, my aunt came up and she is a get rid of everything type of person. My mom is a hoarder. My mom hoarded all her papers. We just threw away a box of electric bill stubs from the 80s, my mother kept ALL of her papers, only a few of which are necessary to keep.
Many things from the 50s (the way I prefer to decorate) were tossed with no thought. I was going off to college so no one heard me when I said I would like to keep things for when I was out of school. I got her engagement ring and her Ave Maria pendant. The ring means nothing to me, I wore the pendant for years. There are so many things that were that were just so totally "her" that I wanted to keep and would've displayed, used in my life. They were even going to toss her china and photo albums, I fought and took both. it's silly but if I just had a few of the objects that were meaningful to her, I would be so happy.
iris lilies
3-2-16, 11:13am
Sure, I regret tossing a few things, but none of them keep me awake at night.
One was a big costume jewelry ring from the 1970's. I bought a similar one, vintage on eBay.
The one I thnk about most often is an antique spackled pitcher from my mom. But she didnt have it all of our lives, just later, after I moved out of our famly home, so it doesnt have associations of my chodhod.
i got,rid of,it because the only practical use
I could make of it was to set on the stove and holding long handled implements. That was precarious and I was afraid it would slide off and break.
I am going to watch eBay for a new clayman ;)Or maybe find something new for the next 40 years, oh goodness
I regret only the 2 silver charm bracelets I let go thinking I never wear them so why keep them. I think about them- but that's the only thing so overall that's pretty good.
Teacher Terry
3-2-16, 1:10pm
I actually have never regretted getting rid of anything. But in regard to sentimental items I think long and hard for months before getting rid of them to make sure I really want to. I got rid of my favorite grandparent's 50th anniversary plate recently but would never get rid of her wedding ring. I still enjoy wearing it. It is funny how different we all are in regard to things.
I don't like when tossing something prematurely or mistakenly costs me money.
But otherwise, it is just a bunch of stuff. I don't care enough about it to be all that regretful.
I gave away nearly everything that had to do with the time I was married. It took 10 years but eventually, over time I had gotten rid of every single wedding gift, all of our dishes, knick knacks, furniture, towels, bedding, all of it gone and what was replaced was my choice and paid for by me. That was very freeing. I kept the wedding album, my rings, my dress for the kids. Our silverware and china because I liked them and they didn't resonate with me so much as being associated with him as compared to say, a set of sheets. I have not regretted one thing that I gave away or that I have kept.
I gave away nearly everything that had to do with the time I was married. It took 10 years but eventually, over time I had gotten rid of every single wedding gift, all of our dishes, knick knacks, furniture, towels, bedding, all of it gone and what was replaced was my choice and paid for by me. That was very freeing. I kept the wedding album, my rings, my dress for the kids. Our silverware and china because I liked them and they didn't resonate with me so much as being associated with him as compared to say, a set of sheets. I have not regretted one thing that I gave away or that I have kept.
Sometimes it is good to purge something with a negative emotional attachment.
I still feel bad about selling an old wedding ring quilt at a garage sale; it had belonged to my mother. It seems I still have quite a few things that meant something to her and that I am having a heck of a time letting go of.
I can't think of anything that I've thrown/gave away that I regret, but my mom has tossed a few of my things that I'm really sorry about.
One was a toy garbage truck (yeah, I was a tomboy) from when I was small. She swears we have it somewhere but we've been through everything over the years and it's not there. Another thing is a bird's nest I found; it was made of my late horse's hair and woven into a sort of bag (not sure what kind of bird makes nests like that). I brought it home and she soaked it in bleach and we displayed it on a shelf. Then one day without asking she threw it away. I love to mention that to her all the time.
I wish I still had some books from my childhood to reread now. My childhood bicycle was stored at my cousin's house; it was from the 70s, orange and purple with a banana seat. Vintage and in great condition and people collect these now. Some guy came to his house and asked him for it and he just gave it to him. IT WASN'T HIS TO GIVE AWAY!!!!! I get sick just thinking about it. If I wasn't his sole beneficiary when he dies, I'd really hold a grudge.
All the photos we recently threw away.....I sometimes wonder if I'll regret getting rid of them.
Williamsmith
3-3-16, 2:43am
I have really tried to think of something. I can think of things that at one time meant something to me but not anymore. In fact, I can think of more things I'd like to toss but the wife or kids won't let me. They say, just because the items don't mean anything to me, doesn't mean they don't mean anything to others.
For instance, I have every duty weapon I ever carried. These things saw me through some stressful events. But I don't even get them out to look at them. I would really like to get rid of them. I am beginning to think there is something wrong with me, why I don't value things at all. I had a childhood stamp collection. I just use them on the regular mail now. They mean nothing to me. I don't get it.
I am not a sentimental person by nature, which makes this silly little Clayman feelings strange. Pictures, I have a box of old pics that I never look at nor can not see me wanting to in the future. People say Oh you will want to look at baby pics someday, Nope doubt it. My mother was a photo book lover and the shelves of neatly displayed books are still at Dad's, I have zero interest in them and never had. I take a picture with my phone, send it to someone and then delete it soon there after, I have maybe a dozen on file which I know will be gone someday.
So Williamsmith, I understand you post totally.
I don't generally spend time looking back, maybe that is why. I have tried to analyze Why I feel like this and not the normal feeling I see when people talk about the past or look at old pictures. I remember loving pictures and trinkets, then it just stopped. Not a bad thing to think, but when I look at a picture from my past I think about my thoughts at that given moment in time, where I was at where I thought I was going, dreams and hopes and plans. They are long gone so why bring them back, some were good and some were dumb. And yes I will wander into the thought of If I had done somethings different at that time of life, maybe who knows. I asked Husband the other day if he thought about when we were 20 and our dreams, No he said not at all, only today and the future. Guess we think the same on that subject.
mschrisgo2
3-3-16, 11:54pm
The only thing I've ever regretted tossing was a sweater... and I don't really think I tossed it, more likely left it some where. I searched for it several times, finally bought a new one to replace it this year, black-and-white marled, zip front, all cotton.
ToomuchStuff
3-4-16, 2:15am
I can think of one thing but I don't think of it often. A ring from my grandfather, that fit me. It was an Army air core ring.
There is some other stuff, I debate about, so I haven't thrown them out, and that is yearbooks. I was so happy to put that miserable experience behind me, but there are a few people who I wish I could remember, so I haven't thrown them out. (spent a lot of time forgetting)
Year books, do they still have those? I carted those around for 15 years, then one day had a fire on the farm going and tossed them in.
Still going through old memory stuff. Yesterday I tossed things I had saved from my own kindergarten days in 1960. I tossed the last two love letters from my Dad to his mistress. Originally, there was a shoebox full but I had saved two because he said nice things about my mother. I am feeling little pangs today but I'll get over it. Now for the yearbooks - sigh...I keep telling myself a good life is about today and perhaps tomorrow but not yesterday.
pinkytoe: I keep telling myself a good life is about today and perhaps tomorrow but not yesterday.
I love that thought!
Sloeginfizz
3-8-16, 12:08am
I was once a collector of teapots. I had dozens, then one day, I decided to get rid of the lot, other than a few of them. There was a particularly clever and pretty dragon shaped teapot that was among the ones I got rid of. I thought almost immediately that I had made a mistake but it was too late. I wanted it back. I searched ebay and thrift shops for years. Well over ten years, whenever I thought about it, I would search ebay for this particular teapot.
Well, three or so months ago, I found it finally. On ebay. It was as pretty as I remembered it. It wasn't too expensive. I could have easily bought it.
I didn't. I realized that this teapot, which was so idealized in my mind, was just one of many, many pretty objects out there I could buy. But it wasn't something I really wanted any more. t's not really the sort of thing I go for these days. I have one teapot that I really love, that is ideal for making tea.
http://www.ebay.com/itm/Chinese-Celadon-Dragon-Teapot-Korea-Jade-Blue-Green-Asian-Tea-Server-Pitcher-/291622099745?hash=item43e6081b21:g:nmkAAOSwIrNWFSp B
I do also have a particular jean jacket I regret not having anymore, but that wasn't given up freely or donated. I lost it, left it on the bus on accident, so I think my regret is that I wasn't done with it yet.
Oh that is interesting on finding the teapot. I bet that will happen when I do find new Clayman too.
iris lilies
3-8-16, 7:36am
Sloegin, that really IS fascinating about the dragon teapot. How things, objects, lurk in our heads and hearts!
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2025 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.