View Full Version : Never mind
Teacher Terry
3-9-16, 4:40pm
I would have to know what you said & did to judge. No one has ever done that to me.
Throwing water at someone seems harsh to me, I don't know if it was an over reaction or not because I wasn't there. I would probably think about if I wanted to keep this person in my life if you feel it was an over reaction.
that's pretty harsh to do to someone in public, that's not to say I haven't WANTED to do it many a time, lol
harsh, IMO, I'd be pissed. She humiliated you in front of the others in the restaurant. Unless she explicitly said you were really hurting her or something.
Teacher Terry
3-9-16, 5:42pm
I think she way overreacted and I would not want to be friends with this person. I have a friend that will vibrate her leg up & down. It is a nervous thing she is not aware of. I sometimes will just gently put my hand on her leg because it makes me nervous. She will stop and is fine with that but we are close.
Wow, that is a totally over the top reaction. I had a similar thing happen to me once and I didn't have a clue to what I had done. So I apologized and then tried to distance myself from her. Life is crazy enough without adding more craziness to it.
Kinda how I was feeling about my friend issue. I understood she couldn't talk as much so I thought I was doing the right thing to wait a day or so and then to see if she was available over the next 3 days. I have never had an issue if she wasn't however she recently needed help while she had the flu. I didn't answer her text since what she wanted was to be left alone, but now I am in the awkward space of what to do.
what are you apologizing for, for somehow hurting her but not even knowing you were doing it? I think the onus is on her. I would avoid her and I would probably have to sit on my hands to keep from apologizing if I did see her, but inner me would want to make her apologize first even if it was awkward silence
If this is someone you usually enjoy spending your time with, call her and ask to meet to talk it out.
If she doesn't mean enough to you, let it be. I concur it's an overreaction.
Makes me think of my BIL. I bruise easily. He liked to grab my upper arm and I always had 5 bruises. I yelled at him to NOT do that. He did it. I slapped him in the face. He was geinuinely shocked-I could see it in his face. He never did it again. I soooo regretted it but I was so pissed.
You owe no apology. That was an extreme overreaction to something incredibly innocuous. I will not suggest that you go to her house and dump a large pail of ice water on her head because that wouldn't be nice, and we should all try to play nice together. But I'm tempted.
No, I don't think you should apologize at all. Especially if you don't care to be her friend anymore (which I wouldn't). I always feel guilty over everything, even when it's not my fault and so I automatically apologize. I found out later why she was mad and it totally was not my fault and I just bit my tongue and let it go. Before I found out what it was I just said "I'm not sure what I did, but I apologize for making you so mad." You have every right to be upset about what she did. It sounds like her spaghetti is missing some noodles. I remember my mother in law (crazy old lady) dumping a glass of wine on one of her son's heads at the dinner table. And he was just sitting there doing nothing, she blamed him for a plate she dropped. He didn't say one word. He refused to talk to her for 6 months. You need to distance yourself from irrational people like that.
this is better than the Real Housewives! actually glass throwing is the behavior of the Real Housewives who are not normal people. She sounds like she's been tuning in!
I don't think you should apologize, Kally. I think you should have no further contact with her, unless she approaches you with an apology.
we can just ignore it, kay?
Your acquaintance overreacted - but, and this is a big but - I think you behaved badly. Saying I'm sorry but I need to do it again is no apology at all. She asked you to stop and you didn't. Your insistence on kicking the chair one more time was disrespectful of her personal space and it invalidated her as a person. Your action in the last kick was a way of saying that your desire to kick her chair was more important than her desire that you should not kick her chair. The best way to defuse the situation was to say, I'm sorry, and then keep your feet to yourself.
Ultralight
3-11-16, 9:51am
I think you should say "soory." :~)
Simplemind
3-11-16, 7:35pm
On the face of things it appears that she was over reacting. However, you have no idea why she reacted to that level. I own that I am uber sensitive to light, sound and touch. You would have touched my chair once and I would have mentioned it. Twice and I would have asked you to move or I would. I wouldn't throw water in your face for reals but I would be upending a bucket on your head in my mind if you fake apologized and did it again. The person who touches thinks nothing of it. The person who is touched thinks of nothing else. Everybody falls someplace on the spectrum.
Your acquaintance overreacted - but, and this is a big but - I think you behaved badly. Saying I'm sorry but I need to do it again is no apology at all. She asked you to stop and you didn't. Your insistence on kicking the chair one more time was disrespectful of her personal space and it invalidated her as a person. Your action in the last kick was a way of saying that your desire to kick her chair was more important than her desire that you should not kick her chair. The best way to defuse the situation was to say, I'm sorry, and then keep your feet to yourself.
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