Why are you here?

[catherine]

The conversation that got slightly derailed on iris lilies' "..so behind the curve.. " post inspired this thread.

Some have been here for a LOOONNNGGG time. At that time, it was a forum specifically to discuss the principles of Your Money or Your Life (it feels like we're miles from that common bond sometimes). Others are more recently here, and have reinvigorated conversations and added new life to the forums.

But I'm curious to know, why are you here? Why did you join, and what keeps you here?

I can't remember the actual way in which I found myself here, but it was probably by googling YMOYL (did we have Google then?). I've always admired a simple life and was interested in managing my finances in a way that would support that. I found Dave Wampler's website, which had several offerings--not just the forums, but the newsletters were always something I looked forward to, and the bookstore was great. But I really loved the forum!! So much inspiration!

I'm still here for the same reasons, but I also really enjoy the camaraderie and friendship. We've seen a lot of people come and go and I miss a lot of them still. From a simple living perspective, after 10-15 years here, I still need the advice and inspiration, and still really enjoy the friendly discussion. I get nervous when things get a little testy, because some people have left because of it, and I'd hate to see any of you go. We're a little lean these days and we can't afford to have you run off!

Hope this wasn't too soapy. I just finished watching a particularly sentimental Downton Abbey episode and I think it rubbed off on me (darn it, I admitted I have a TV :~).

Anyway, why are YOU here?

[kally]

I came to get ideas on living with less money and saving more. But, really, it is the likemindedness of the people here that keep me coming back.

We often disagree, get off topic and off track, but where else can you go and brag about making your own toilet paper???

[herbgeek]

Before there was the internet (as we know of it today), simple living was discussed in "newsgroups" and mailing lists. I was on a mailing list called Maxlife in the early to mid 90's, that was very similar in flavor to what is here. We also had a study group of YMOYL, as well as discussing various and sundry topics like on this board. Someone on there had posted to the link to what was the fore runner to this particular incarnation, and I've been here ever since. Mailing lists died a slow death once forum software became popular.

Why am I here? Because I am such an outlier in so many ways, and I like the sense of community and/or belonging I often find here. I don't have children, I'm not traditionally religious, I'm not terribly status conscious, I save a lot of money, and don't spend much on common throwaway costs (ie Starbucks, manicures...). I don't much fit in in many places. Not to say I fit in here, but I feel a lot less strange here.

[early morning]

I found Dave Wampler's site a long time ago. I was a big fan of Amy Dacyczyn and have all of her newsletters. After she stopped publishing, and we got a computer, I found an MSN news sub-group on frugal living that was ran by a guy who was a train engineer, as I remember. I left when it was transitioning more to a forum-type site and many of the participants became very strident about anyone who owned a car, or ate meat, or weren't trying to live on rice and beans - and in looking for a replacement, I somehow ended up at Dave's. I actually read YMOYL AFTER joining the forum. It didn't fit our lifestyle - no high-paying, HSSJ to endure while saving lots of cash - I loved what I did then, and what I do now, and have never made much money, so there was much I did not relate to in there - but it did give me a different way of thinking about our relationship with money. I have enjoyed reading, learning, being inspired - this is a great site, with great people. It was while at Dave's, too - I also liked his newsletters. I am grateful to those who kept us together when a move was necessary! :thankyou: And I hope this site will be here for a long time yet!

[rodeosweetheart]

I too found the site way back in what--1999 or so--I can remember being in the house we owned at that time and thinking about some posts by people whose lives mirrored mine in lots of ways. It was 98 I think when I was reading YMOYL and gave away 7 copies at Christmas. I was also reading that Janet Luhrs book on simple living--that was a great book!

Obviously came over when the forum switched.

I don't like the snarkiness of late in so many forums, really feel hurt by it, but try to hang in because this is such a constant in my life, for so many years. . .

[razz]

I found the Simple Living forums as they existed in 2003 when I was trying to figure out how to retire early due to stress in my job. I got so many ideas that were helpful.
Now I am mostly just interested in what people are thinking about current situations and seeing great diversity in viewpoints as ever which is good.

[pony mom]

I lurked, then joined the older forum in the late 90s (I had WebTV back then!). During a long episode of depression in the early 90s, I began reading a lot of self-help books. YMOYL actually helped me a lot; feeling like I had no control of my life was one part of my depression. Controlling my money was something I could actually do myself.

I've always felt like the odd one out, but seem to fit in here. I wish I discovered all of this in my early 20s, when I was working steadily and spending money on bits and bobs that weren't necessary. It's interesting to see how mainstream minimalism and frugality are becoming.

[iris lilies]

I like people who admire frugality and also (not necessarily the same) simple living. I really really like as friends people who are not buffeted about by consumer trends, I want frends who dont value stuff from the mall too much because I think stuff from the mall is usually boring. So, I like the people here! I like people who are self actualized, who direct their lives according to their deeply held values.

I was frugal most of my life. But these days, dang! I should be spend-shamed here. see Ldahl, we are using your new term!

We spend about $20,000 more annually than I thought we spent. Before I retired I didnt track how much we spent, now I do. While money isnt a problem, its a bit of a nasty surprise to find that I am not that frugal person I once was. My self identity has been tied up in that "frugal" role for a long time. Ugh

and then, it worries me to think, what if I really had to go back to being frugal? What would I give up? then I immediately start to think: I can't give up the dog! I cant give up my new luxury hobby, flower arranging! i cant give up...etc etc.

It is uncomfortable to find out that I am not me after all.

So let me brag about not having cable tv, please! Its the only thing Ive got! I aint got nuttin' else.

[ToomuchStuff]

I found the old forum, around the time it closed. I had read and subscribed to Amy D*** (not going to try), newsletters and it helped. I went through a medical time, recovered, and then a lawsuit, where I expected I would end up homeless or kill myself. Frugality was something I grew up around, and knew I needed and needed to be better at it.
When I did find this forum, I started YMOYL, and as usual, life got in the way before I finished it (what I wouldn't give to be a speed reader with all my books). I need to go back to finish it, but am currently reading more of my technical books, learning stuff (and trying to figure out other issues/technical stuff).
I joined, because while I know we don't all have the same experience, or will always agree, it doesn't mean I can't be smart and learn from others, as I have done in other aspects of my life. I know there are things I learned that are wrong, and those that are right. It is my job to improve myself.

[cdttmm]

I joined the previous incarnation of the forums, on Dave Wampler's site, back in 2005. I'd just read YMOYL and it was quite life-changing for me. So I did an internet search and found Dave's site and the forums. Tagged along when the forums moved because, like many others have said, I feel like I fit in here.

I tend to stay away from the more drama-filled parts of the forums and never quite know why people leave in a huff. Some of them I miss.

And I would be totally down for some good old-fashioned YMOYL-style discussions. Yes, I know, I could start them up... :~)

[frugal-one]

As others stated, I am here because the people here are like-minded. If I don't know something, there is usually someone here who can fill in the blank. They are not going to give me the go to the mall and spend wads on this foolish thing. I am always learning new things here.

[Teacher Terry]

I very much enjoy the people here. WE live more simply than many people I know but are not extremely frugal now. WE were more so when young and needed to be. At this point in our lives we want to travel a lot which costs $. I hope to live to be 90 but you never know. Also I know people lose interest in traveling as they age and at 61 I am not getting any younger.

[bae]

I think I came here ~1999, when I was reading YMOYL and deciding to press the eject button on the rat race and modern life.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gC29ArkGG0

[Reyes]

I've been here about 20 years. I appreciate the wisdom of other members and motivation I receive by reading the boards. YMOYL made me motivated to get out of debt, stay out of debt, and have a mortgage-free home at 35. It has motivated me to pay cash for my kids' college and live well under my means. Simply put, being here keeps me motivated:-)

[happystuff]

Lurked on several simple living sites - Earthstar and a Homestead discussion board were my favorites back then. I think it was through one or maybe even both of them that I found Dave's site and then followed others here after that one closed. I mainly lurk as my computer time is very limited. Plus I very quickly get turned off by snarkiness - I just don't have the time or temperment for it any longer. Still trying to forge my life as it exists into the life I would like, so I pop in and out of here when I can for ideas and simply to catch up on folks. I really do enjoy it when I can pop in and catch up on things.

[Gardnr]

I have come and gone here several times over 15 years.....As noted by HappyStuff, the snarkiness gets old. Last time I left I was told quite frankly, that I was wrong in my experiences. Wow...OK, I'm outta here. That happened prior to both departures.

I miss the comradery of like-minded people. We do not have frugal friends or simple living friends.....people like where we are in life, but not willing to do the work to get where we are.

I like reading how others here do things differently than we do. Reading a new idea makes me remake decisions consciously.

Namaste'

[SteveinMN]

I'm much more recent here. I joined when I knew I had to leave Corporate America, either by choice or feet-first. Somewhere I'd read an article on simple living and a Web search of resources led to a few simple-living forums. This forum was by far the liveliest; in fact, I never joined the others. MMM, if I recall, either started or became "a thing" after I joined here and I just don't feel the world needs more "badasses" in any area.

I stay because the forum is still lively and I find reading the questions and answers (mostly) serves as a support and a touchstone. We don't all live the same simple lives, but that's OK. Simplicity looks a bit different to each of us. It is good to be exposed to issues and questions that make me think about my approach to living simply and to get ideas from the others here.

[Ultralight]

I am here to discuss simple living ideas and to also discuss other issues when viewed through the simple living lens.

I am also here to keep boredom at bay during the day!

Generally, I just find there to be lots of intriguing ideas tossed about on here and I dig it!

[Zoe Girl]

like minded people for sure, I have met at least one in person and had some private conversations off line as well. I really like that. I ask questions here that I have no other place to ask (and if someone doesn't want to answer they can just skip it so I don't feel like I am intruding).

Also over the years the good tips on how to live in my income. That is a challenge and many other sources are not so great, their 'save money' plan is more expensive than my regular plan after all.

[Float On]

I lurked on the old boards but was active on a frugal moms board. I just need daily reminders to stay on track and find encouragement through other's stories and situations.

[Cypress]

I came on board on the old forum. Overall, I find the responses and posts to be as I am talking to equals. Sometimes, I don't agree but I appreciate the sincerity of replies. My style of life is slightly out of the mainstream. It's hard to find like minded people in our consumer based society. The original reason I joined was hoping to find a way to live well on a small income. I made all kinds of choices based on trying to be careful about my footprint on earth, not to be bamboozled by business, how to sort out personal choices and relationships, how to enjoy being a little non conformist. I am not on the boards often but enjoy when I do. I miss a member called Red Fox. This person always delighted me with off beat replies and different perspective. I like online social media networks in this format. I plan to keep checking in and learning from others. This place makes it okay to be frugal and think twice before doing many things.

[KayLR]

I joined the forums a long time ago, don't remember the year, but it was the former D Wampler incarnation. I had been enlightened by a co-worker about simple living through some NWEI classes I took with her. I can't remember how I found the forums, but I check in most every day to see what's going on in your worlds. I enjoy learning from all of you, whether it's frugality, problem-solving or whatever--and I've learned a lot! That's why I come: to learn more about how to live the simple life I've chosen. I take what I think I can use--tips, advice, opinions, recipes, etc.-- gratefully, and pass on the rest. I enjoy your cyber-ly company. I feel like you all have been a positive influence on my lifestyle, and as an introvert I have very few friends who I would hang out with for such influences. So--- thank you!

[rodeosweetheart]

KayLR, right back at you!
Cypress, I miss Red Fox and may other posters from the older days.

[leslieann]

I joined a long time ago: with a different name and under quite different circumstances. It was probably about 2001. I had read YMOYL, was all over Affluenza (the movie) and actually led a church discussion group on simple living (hoping to learn something). I was really looking for something rather than trying to find a tribe I already belonged to. Anyway, this many years later I live in a different country, have a different spouse, different profession and a new dog. I'm not as frugal as I was (had to be) during all of those transitions but I am anticipating retiring and thinking about frugality again. Simplicity, now, that's always been a feature, though often more aspirational than actual.

I dip in and out here: more recently, after about two years of barely checking in. I was a major lurker during the Wampler days and got busier with posting after the transition when there was fear that the forums wouldn't be busy enough. I am reminded by THIS post that I haven't donated in awhile and that's no doubt still important.

I remember thinking that it was odd to have relationships with people online whom I'd never met (back in the day) and now that seems practically normal to me. Interesting change of perspective!

Nice thread, Catherine.

[lhamo]

For those who mentioned Red Fox, i hope you'll be happy to hear she is well -- we had lunch a few weeks ago and she just started a new job, which seems to be going well.

I read YMOYL in late 1997/early 1998, I think after I saw Joe and Vicki on the Oprah Show (may have been a repeat as Joe died in early 1997). I do recall that I got very into frugality/simple living around that time as i had returned from fieldwork and was trying to figure out how to stretch my remaining grad school grant money as far as possible while DH and I finished writing our dissertations and tried to land jobs. I joined/was active in several forums around the same time, including the frugal living board at ivillage.com and the armchair millionaire. I had my first stint as a moderator on the latter -- and they even sent me a tshirt! I don't think I started actively posting here until after ivillage changed their forum format and started charging for certain types of access, and armchair millionaire died after the tech bubble burst. I was definitely an active poster by the time DS was born in 2001. Became a moderator here in 2007 after I left a HSSJ (horrible soul-sucking job, one of my all time favorite forum acronyms!). I stepped back from moderation in 2013, if I recall correctly, as my work responsibilities were ramping up. And about that time I got sucked into the MMM forums, which is where I mainly hang out on line now -- I found that after all the transitions the level of posting and number of members here dropped off, and I wasn't getting the same degree of satisfaction out of the interactions. I really like to give feedback on people's financial questions (as well as relationships related to them), and the MMM forums just have a lot more action. Also a very action- and optimization-oriented vibe -- people seem to be pretty committed to making positive changes, so I feel like it is really worth it to spend some time to give feedback, because often people report back on the changes they make and it is really satisfying. I'm not sure why, but it just seems like there is more of a critical mass over there. And I like being able to swear and not feel guilty about it.

I deliberately kept the same login name on all of these forums (as well as on early-retirement.org) so that friends from here could find me easily if they wanted to. That has proven to be a smart choice, and in at least one case a very dear friend from the early 2000s who left this forum due to some unfortunate bullying was able to find me there and we have rekindled a very nice relationship.

I have met several folks from here in person, and am Facebook friends with some of the old moderators. Those who remember them will hopefully be glad to know that Jonathan and Crystal are both well. Some others, too, but I can't remember what names they used to post under and I don't want to say their real names.

I do try to pop back in every couple of weeks to see what old friends are up to. But I don't post nearly as often as I used to. Hardly ever, really. If anybody wants to know what is up with me, there's 40+ pages of a journal over on MMM outlining things in gory detail (Warning: It is a roller coaster ride that isn't quite over yet...)

[catherine]

Great to hear everyone's stories.. thanks for posting.

lhamo, if you see redfox let her know some of us were asking about her. I still think of her when I think of and/or invoke that awesome Leonard Cohen quote that used to be her auto signature: There is a crack in everything--that's how the light gets in." I was on the plane a couple of weeks ago looking for something to reread on my Kindle and landed on a book she had recommended: Creating a World That Works for All by Sharif Abdullah. Great book.

I have no doubt that my simple living journey has been very much enhanced and informed by you guys.

[leslieann]

Lovely to see your avatar and "hear" your voice again, lhamo. And thanks for the redfox update. I have warmest recollections of some of her stories, and certainly of you and yours.

[iris lilies]

I joined this forum in spring 2001. I remember that spring because it was the year that our inlaws took their entire extended family to Switzerland and I didnt have access to this new website for a couple of weeks. I've been making up for that ever since and I am always horrified at the number of posts Ive made.

I am fond of the youngsters on MMM and feel they are my spiritual children. This site is now for tame boomers. And ANM and UL.

[Cypress]

I see people refer to MMM forum. If it doesn't cause a conflict with this, one of my favorite social media forums. What is that? I've had so much satisfaction reading how people deal with so many issues here. Thanks for the Red Fox update.

[razz]

Cypress, i finally had a chance to look at your blog today. The magnolias are huge and gorgeous, aren't they? I really enjoyed the poem, A Lost Friend by John Boyle Reilly. It is so easy to see that type of judgementmentalism spoiling both friendships and marriages. Will check your blog out more.

[iris lilies]

I see people refer to MMM forum. If it doesn't cause a conflict with this, one of my favorite social media forums. What is that? I've had so much satisfaction reading how people deal with so many issues here. Thanks for the Red Fox update.

MMM=Mr. Money Mustache forums.