View Full Version : Neighbours
Do you know your neighbours?
Do you have some you really like?
Do you have some you really don't like?
Do you have some you simply ignore?
Do you have some you have just never seen (ooooooh)
How do your neighbours affect your life (if at all)
How do you handle the neighbour you just don't like?
Do you have a bf in the neighbourhood?
Neighbours gotta love em (or live on a big piece of land.)
Chicken lady
3-12-16, 7:02pm
Big piece of land 11 years. 9 neighbors.
Back left side - no idea can't see a house.
Front left side, helped them shovel their driveway once. Also returned their dog. Don't know names.
across the street - retired vet and wife. Know their names. Never met her. don't like him at all. He and dh help each other out with firewood and plowing and stuff anyway.
next to them - new young family. Bought the house from his grandparents. Knew the grandparents names and went to their garage sales twice.
front right side, no idea. Can see the house from the road.
center right side, horse in field, sometimes, sometimes just field. Assume there is a person in the house beyond the barn on the far side of the field who owns the horse.
back right side, dog rescue organization, surprisingly quiet, odor free, dd volunteered there as a teenager.
Right side of back - part of a 100 acre commercial field, sometimes corn, sometimes soy beans.
left side of back - field, know the owner, kids were in scouts together. Like him and don't mind the gunfire, but didn't appreciate the dynamite two weekends ago.
Previous house, despised neighbor. Moved.
Having moved into my new house about 18 months ago, I know some of the neighbours but not well. Just a hi and a wave in passing. I have friends nearby that I visit with on occasion but generally, I like my privacy and give it to others as well.
iris lilies
3-12-16, 7:38pm
We live in an urban core with tiny lots. Knowing your neighbor is important for safety reasons, you know who belongs
on your block and who does not. I've lived here 26 years and had only one neighbor I didnt like. Now he is gone, yay!
One of our neighbors is not keeping his house up and he will soon be hauled into housing court if he doesnt comply with the city's directive to rebuild his front porch. We have residents here who work with the city n bringing sown attention on problem properties and my friend in the wider neighborhood is working on this issue. The maddening thing is that he has the skills to do it, and if he told me that he soesnt have the money, as he often tells me, I might point to his jaguar sitting in the street that he seldom drives.
This is a walkable neighborhood so we see a lot of people around and about daily. Many have dogs.
Gardenarian
3-12-16, 7:52pm
Still pretty new to our neighborhood, but so far everyone has been great! My dd has a regular job babysitting the 6-year-old next door. Everyone is pretty quiet and tidy. I have lots of dog-walking chats but haven't gotten to know anyone really well yet.
In our current building we have met the neighbors who lived on either side of us, but not the 3 apartments on the other side of the hall. Our decks are separate but not private so we've had conversations with them from time to time.
When we lived in NJ we were good friends with our upstairs neighbors in a 2 family house. We'd do things like spend halloween on our shared front porch drinking wine and handing out candy and chatting with the neighbors on the block as they brought their kids around. One of them was connected to the neighborhood grapevine so we learned all the gossip about whose teenage daughter was pregnant or who had a drinking problem or whatever from her.
When I lived in NYC I got to know about half the people in my 20 apartment building well enough to have a conversation when I ran into them in the hall. I wouldn't really have called any of them friends, though.
The only neighbor I have really not liked was a grumpy bitch that lived in my building in NY. She never had a pleasant thing to say and if she was entering the building and I was coming in behind her she wouldn't hold the door, even if she saw me walking up the steps. I stopped saying hello and just ignored her if I ran into her in the hall.
Do you know your neighbours?
Do you have some you really like?
Do you have some you really don't like?
Do you have some you simply ignore?
Do you have some you have just never seen (ooooooh)
How do your neighbours affect your life (if at all)
How do you handle the neighbour you just don't like?
Do you have a bf in the neighbourhood?
Neighbours gotta love em (or live on a big piece of land.)
Been here a little over 15 yrs and love my neighbors. Lots are in the 5-7 acre range so not too close to anyone. They are just a phone call away if we need anything.
ToomuchStuff
3-13-16, 3:04am
Had the discussion with a new neighbor today, about the house they are renting. They asked if I knew about a room. These houses, most of them are from the 1920's, with three exceptions (two around WWII, and one that is one of the houses, when the family that one of the James boy's married into, lived there). I am actually the old timer in the neighborhood now. Next door neighbor owned his house longer (bought and rented it), but I grew up around it and bought a family home. (extended family been in the neighborhood, since at least the 30's)
Most of the "neighbors" I knew, are gone and I am the guy that says "oh, x's house". Now I know several of the neighbors and have met several of the others, but currently approximately half the neighborhood, is vacant houses, or fairly recent purchases, that I expect people are wanting to flip.
Most of my neighbors don't even affect me (work too much). The last ones that did, shot into my home and I didn't even find out about that, until almost 2 years after it happened.
That house will be up for auction this year, and because we have a shared driveway, I am expecting to bid on it.
early morning
3-13-16, 7:12am
I am the guy that says "oh, x's house". lol that is SO us. We're on the edge of a tiny farming village (like 600 people) but the people we knew best have passed on. We've been here 28 yrs. and none of the close houses have the same folks in them. I don't know who lives in the house to the west - it's quite close but we don't neighbor much. I'm ashamed to say the woman who owned it last was dead for about 6 months before we knew it. The woman who built the house was living there when we came here and we became pretty good friends until her passing. The new people moved in last fall. I've waved, but that's about it. The home across the road - I know them in passing - names, jobs, kids - but that's it. Again, the original homeowner was there when we moved in. We became good friends and had keys to each other's houses. To their east are two houses - no idea of the people's names, although, again, we were close to the old lady who was originally there. Across the yard to the east on our side of the road - we know the family somewhat, they are nice, and have lots of loud children and farm animals, all of which wander over here once in a while. Not a real problem, although I worry because the road here is well traveled and neither animals or children seem to pay much attention to it. The guys who moved in over there about the time we moved here also became close friends and we are still in touch with the one who survives. Behind them over the creek is the farm once owned by our best friend, who died almost 15 years ago. It's gone through several sales since then, and we've lost track of who owns it. Directly behind us are fields - it's several miles to the next house. To the south east is a small acreage lived on by the daughter of the family who owned it when we moved here. She has two teenage boys. The family was, and apparently still is, a repository for a myriad of mental health issues. We steer clear.
Wow, this is sort of a revelation. When we were younger, we neighbored quite a bit with the old guard who was here then, but as they have passed on (or moved, in one case) we just have not bothered trying to get to know the next set of homeowners. And it's not like it's a very transient neighborhood! Maybe we should make more of an effort. Or maybe not . . .
goldensmom
3-13-16, 7:33am
I know all my neighbors with in 4 square miles. Most I know well and some I just know who they are. We all wave and talk to each other. There are only 12 families and most are generational whose families have been here 50+ years. I am the second generation on our farm since 1945. People in my neighborhood don't get around much.
I live in a typical New Jersey suburban neighborhood--the kind that was built in the 70s by one developer and has a name and a school named after the neighborhood.
I know all my adjacent neighbors and it's surprising how stable this part of the neighborhood has been. There's the Jewish family, and the Chinese family, and the British family, and the Italian family and the Indian family all surrounding me and they've all been here roughly (or longer) than I have, which is 30 years.
A few of these families share memories with us--Mr. C coached my kids in soccer; Ms. K asked me if her son could walk to school with my kids when we first moved in--and now our kids are 30-somethings. We always laugh at the way Mr. M jogs, trying to save his comb-over from flying in the breeze, and Mr. and Mrs. C are SO frugal that when Sandy took down a tree in their yard that the two septuagenarians cut it up themselves with a hand saw.
Like earlymorning and TooMuchStuff, I have the kind of history here such that when I take the dog for a walk, I see ghosts of friends that have moved away--Galina, my Russian friend, and Karen and Pat whom I met when they basically attacked me in the park when our kids were toddlers and committed me to play dates, and Janet who was THE quintessential soccer mom and PTA queen.
And I just learned LouAnn is moving after being able to retire from the Township social services department after working there for 25 years, which is another sign that we are all getting older; we are, as is the neighborhood, now "mature."
lessisbest
3-13-16, 10:43am
Our home was in a new development when we move here 10-years ago. Dr. and Mrs. "Stupid" on the south were some of the worst neighbors EVER!!!! After three years they rented their home to "friends", who trashed the place. They have since rented it to Dr. School Superintendent and his mentally ill wife and two barking dogs. He's a very nice guy, but the wife will wear you out.... The neighbors on the north moved in November and the new couple seem quite nice. The families across the street are cordial, the kind of people you could borrow a cup of sugar from and will let them know you'll be gone on vacation and they'll water your plants for you - as we do for them. One happened to be my father's boss years ago, so we've known him for decades. There are 4 homes on our side of the block and the family on the corner just moved and the new haven't moved in yet. On the other end of the block, we've seen the guy once in the 5-years he's lived there.
Behind us is an undeveloped cul-de-sac which is a gathering place for children learning how to ride their new bicycles, kids flying kites, and people walking their dogs.
We, too, are on a city lot. "Know" is a relative term. My mom lives across the street, so we know her well lol. We've become quite good friends with one next-door neighbor; somewhat less so with the neighbors on the other side. We know one of the neighbor next to my mom's place, but the other house next to hers is a duplex and the renters there come and go relatively quickly, so we know some of them better than others. The people who live behind us probably are the neighbors we associate with the least. Both of them are busy with work, so we don't see them sometimes for weeks. Our dog still barks at theirs. And the house and garage are situated so that they can come and go without really being visible. C'est la vie. The neighbors I like the least are the ones kittycorner from Mr. and Mrs. Backyard, who seem to make snow removal a hobby and can be counted upon to have bare concrete on their driveway and walk almost regardless of how soon the snow fell. Makes the rest of us look bad... ;)
With the exception of our now-good friend next door and Mr. and Mrs. Backyard, none of the people living here when I moved in still live here. Two daycares on the block closed in the past umpteen years. I'd say half the block commutes for work; half of the other half works from home; and the remainder are retired. It seems everyone has a dog (or two), so there is a lot of activity on the street; similarly, people walk to and from the bus stops and the supermarket and liquor store three blocks away. We've snowblowed each other's walks, had neighbors take stuff left on the boulevard, and taken their boulevard remains. Neighbors let each other know when they'll be out of town and ask about the car that's been parked in the same spot for several days.
Our next-door neighbor in particular progressed from someone we chatted with casually in the driveway to courtesy invitations to backyard parties to receiving garden vegetables to dog-watching to making meals for him when his wife passed to watching his home (inside and out) while he was a snowbird. He's a good guy and claims we're more like family to him now than his actual family. I think we are.
This is a real neighborhood -- far more so than I ever experienced in the 'burbs, with their organized National Night Outs and block clubs. We like it here.
iris lilies
3-14-16, 10:45am
Also, I am the block captain for two blocks so I am supposed to know neighbors, at least their names, and know a way to get ahold of them.
So far I have completed contact information for everyone on our block but for one rental unit. I know who is in 15 of 16 units. The other block down the street, i know less than half of residents there.
Rural.
6 miles from town but resort area with great views and easy access to lakes (5 minutes from porch to kayaking).
Closed 1/2 mile loop 1/2 mile off a road that is 1 mile off another road. There are 15 places on the outside of the loop and 10 on the center. Up from 7 total when we bought here 23 years ago. All are 1/2 acre to 5 acres. I've got 40 acres behind me owned by one of the meanest hillbillies in the area (very old school) but it's nice because his land will never be developed and after 23 years he's come to accept we live here and is cordial to us. I also have undeveloped empty lots on either side of me.
Some of us are acquaintances but I would say none of us are best friends. We always have someone we can go to their door and ask them to watch the pets while gone.
Also, I am the block captain for two blocks so I am supposed to know neighbors, at least their names, and know a way to get ahold of them.
So far I have completed contact information for everyone on our block but for one rental unit. I know who is in 15 of 16 units. The other block down the street, i know less than half of residents there.
Block captain of what? I'd be leery if some middle aged lady came up to me asking for my email address...
Block captain of what? I'd be leery if some middle aged lady came up to me asking for my email address...
Some neighborhoods are really organized and sponsor events. We used to do the Shaw Neighborhood Art Show right across from the botanical garden in St Louis until one year when the botanical garden stole us for their show. That neighborhood was organized and everyone knew everyone and participation was a very high percentage rage. We enjoyed getting to know so many families there...it just seemed perfect (I'm sure it wasn't).
We're in a sort of semi-rural area -- our neighbourhood's a sort-of subdivision in that it was divided into 1/2 acre lots by the developer, but the developer just did the land and houses were all built by owners or contractors. Our lot is over an acre since it was created by putting two together (something about wells being in the wrong place -- amalgamation occurred long before our time).
We are good friends with our closest neighbours, and friendly acquaintances with the other three that border our property. Good friends with 2 of the 3 immediately across the street. We likely know more than half the people in a two block radius at least to chat with at the mail box.
Our neighbours have a positive impact on our lives. They call us when our dog escapes (sigh), we have long gardening discussions with two households, we take care of their chickens, etc. There's one slightly nuts neighbour close by (He once blasted loud rock music at our neighbour's house starting at six in the morning, seemingly in retaliation for a renovation, and plays tapes of loudly-barking dogs at another neighbour whose dogs bark sometimes. You can imagine how much this helps.) We don't know him, and I couldn't pick him out of a lineup since he seems never to come out of his house.
Our neighbourhood is a little bit organized for emergency response -- we've had a meeting or two -- but i think we'd mostly just be bumbling through together and it would be more or less okay.
Edited to add: I don't have a bff, but we are particularly good friends with the family on the corner. They're much younger than us, with a 3 year old boy and two young teens. They're very committed to permaculture and run a small permaculture farm nearby. We've hired him to help us with projects -- a win/win, since he's very knowledgeable about building and permaculture garden design, and also really strong -- and we have more $ than energy. Our other good friends sadly moved away just before Christmas.
I bought my house six years ago. Unfortunately, I commute to the city for work and this cuts down a lot on local time. I live on a quiet side street about three streets in from the main road. We have a population around 1,200 people. It's well populated downtown. A lot of folks have summer homes around the two lakes. So, we swell and shrink with seasons.
Behind my house is the railroad track. The closest neighbor is a grumpy guy who rarely goes outside. A big surprise to me, about two years ago a girlfriend moved in. I still rarely see them. I am often outdoors in evenings and weekends gardening. The girlfriend from time to time is friendly. However, I had a weird incident last weekend of finding my house cat in a HavAHart trap on the border of my property. She was in there for several hours before I realized she was missing. It was at sundown I called for her and followed the meow to the trap. I got her out and tried to approach them a few days later as to why. They didn't answer the door but I found a flyer on their front step for a missing cat in the neighborhood. I think they were trying to trap that cat but my cat wandered in. They have yet to come over and explain the mix up. I called the number on the flyer and had a conversation about how it might be more neighborly to leave a note before trying to trap a cat.
The other side, the house is a house lot away. It was recently sold or rented out to a new family maybe two years ago. I only see them when I am out in the yard. They get on their back porch and smoke. The guy makes hideous throat clearing spitting sounds all the time. I sometimes wondered if he was being a jerk when I was in the yard.
A neighbor down the street I am friendly with, she walks her dogs by the house often so we do chat. Another neighbor only walks in good weather, but we do chat nicely. Other than that, I don't know the rest. I never see them outside, not even hanging clothes to dry. Most people in town if they work, commute at least a 1/2 hour each way. When you get home, sometimes it's just leave me in peace.
We've lived in our house for just under three years. Two nearby houses have new tenants whom we have not met yet. Our next door neighbors to the west are an older Romanian couple who have an adult care home. They are the sweetest people on Earth! She makes awesome European pastries and brings them over just for no reason at all. They know we are always available for any help with heavy lifting, raking, etc. And their children have our number and if they can't get ahold of them they call us to check on them (this happened once--the lady had her ringer off).
The guy across the street is amiable but we only talk when we're out working in our yards.
Everyone stays pretty much to themselves. You say "hi" to folks out walking, but not much else. The weather has everyone pretty hunkered down til it gets better.
I was just talking to DH the other night about having a small neighborhood cookout this summer, just the close-by neighbors---we've gone to them before; it's a good way to connect. We have a huge backyard. Well most of us in this neighborhood do.
iris lilies
3-15-16, 11:16pm
Block captain of what? I'd be leery if some middle aged lady came up to me asking for my email address...
The block captain system is the basic building block of a neighborhood safety program. I keep people informed of crimes and other issues. but I;ve only sent one mass email message out once in a six month period.
When K's house across the street was burglarized over the holidays, I sent out a notice to everyone on my two blocks. When the water was turned off on my block with only 1 hour warning, I could have let everyone know but at the time, I wasn't the block captain!
I collect names and email addresses in order to invite them to our city's online communication system Next door. They can't join up without a specific invitation.
I turn in names, addresses, and phone numbers to our neighborhood's community services director so that she can include them in the phone book that is printed once a year.
We try to have at least one block party each year, and that helps everyone get to know each other. Knowing who your neighbors are is essential to knowing who belongs there.
No one has to participate if they don't want to, but seldom do people say "no" because our neighborhood is known for active participation. Its just sensible to be able to be able to contact your neighbors, know their names, know what they look like.
iris lilies
3-15-16, 11:18pm
Some neighborhoods are really organized and sponsor events. We used to do the Shaw Neighborhood Art Show right across from the botanical garden in St Louis until one year when the botanical garden stole us for their show. That neighborhood was organized and everyone knew everyone and participation was a very high percentage rage. We enjoyed getting to know so many families there...it just seemed perfect (I'm sure it wasn't).
the Shaw Art Fair is my favorite. it is a perfect size, and the location is so nice. Its about 1.5 miles from my house.
Apropos of this thread, we got a call from our neighbor last night. He'd let his dog out to take care of business and noticed our garage door was open and had been open for some time and just thought we might want to know. We think we know how it happened, but we would not have discovered it for a couple more hours. Nice of him.
iris lilies
3-16-16, 10:04am
Apropos of this thread, we got a call from our neighbor last night. He'd let his dog out to take care of business and noticed our garage door was open and had been open for some time and just thought we might want to know. We think we know how it happened, but we would not have discovered it for a couple more hours. Nice of him.
Thats one of the emails I sent out recently, to a new neighbor whose garage door was open all day.
Around here, if your garage door is open all day your stuff is stolen.
Ultralight
3-16-16, 10:07am
In the neighborhood I currently live many people seem to be moving out. I cannot tell if it is white flight, a random thing, or some other issue.
ToomuchStuff
3-17-16, 12:48am
In the neighborhood I currently live many people seem to be moving out. I cannot tell if it is white flight, a random thing, or some other issue.
Might be that crazy neighbor, has shown them how to get by with so little stuff, they don't need a house.:laff:
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