what a difference a year makes

[Zoe Girl]

So last year was a bomb at work, lots of conflict between supervisors, I fought a battle that I couldn't really pass on, I ended with a bad review, somewhere in the middle of it I really lost focus and made mistakes, there were layoffs, people quitting, and I got a pretty bad review. It has been hard to leave behind and move forward.

So this year I am getting near the end of year review process (we wrap it up in May and are presented with it in August based on a school schedule, which is awkward). I had my meeting with my sup and she said I was making all my goals. There were some other suggestions to help my score go higher and I am doing as much as I can without losing my mind. End of year work load is killer. I am doing one project again that I did last year that I was really proud of. Last year it was actually a negative on my review, written down and everything! This year it seems to be going well and I have positive feedback (okay the only reason it was a negative was that I asked the wrong person for permission on one day of work, no joke).

However I need to do my self review and I am not scoring anything high. Pretty much average across the board, even though I would love to show off a little I think it is safer to just score middle of the road and not get my hopes up.

[razz]

ZG, sometimes it is important to recognize that one can overthink things. Do the best you can and be grateful to see the benefits that you are giving to those around you.

[Zoe Girl]

I do tend to overthink, I am just enjoying a year of not being the fall-guy

[sweetana3]

I am not a fan of marking my own self review average. If you cannot find anything to pat yourself on the back for then no one else probably will either. This is the time to bring positive items to their attention and show a positive and forward thinking attitude about your work. Anything you improved from last year or newly implemented should be shown.

Sure, they can ignore or bring up other things but it shows your attitude and average is ..................

[Zoe Girl]

I get it, however I have coined a new term recently. Vulnerability cost (Brene Brown has probably already talked about it). A situation where you are taking a large risk of being vulnerable and it is probably unsafe. So I am making the decision to rate at average based on the traditionally unsafe environment. I have had the same or similar supervisors for the last 6 years and don't think I have any part of my evaluation above average. I do every extra training available to me, sit on many committees and have all the detailed work in on time despite being short staffed, but I have done that every year I have had an average or low rating. They make their decisions independently. So I still think I do some amazing things, I would rate myself personally above average on a few things, however I am rating average in the official document because I simply don't want to sit through another review where I am evaluated lower than what I said like every single year before this. Maybe I am over-valuing some of my work, and it is also likely I have a big target on me.

[freshstart]

I am glad you had a better year. Boy, your work environment sounds rough, kudos to you for them perceiving you as having improved. Maybe give yourself one above average mark, would that really be so unsafe? Because you sure sound above average in several areas

[Tammy]

Sometimes it's best to completely disengage from the review process. Mark everything as average and move on with your day. Don't give it any more time than that.

There's a lot of research about the ineffectiveness and actual negative influence that annual reviews have on everyone involved.

[Lainey]

Sometimes it's best to completely disengage from the review process. Mark everything as average and move on with your day. Don't give it any more time than that.

There's a lot of research about the ineffectiveness and actual negative influence that annual reviews have on everyone involved.

+1 I have seen this in the attitude of managers over the last 5-7 years. Even they know that there's so much fluff in this that they have done these with a wink and a nod and everyone just plays along. Exception being of course if there is real behavioral or work accomplishment issues, then these are done pretty rigorously for documentation purposes.

[Zoe Girl]

Sometimes it's best to completely disengage from the review process. Mark everything as average and move on with your day. Don't give it any more time than that.

There's a lot of research about the ineffectiveness and actual negative influence that annual reviews have on everyone involved.

That is my plan, I can value my work without their approval. And do what needs to be done so I am still eligible for a raise.

I was thinking that actually it may be harder to get a good review this year than my usual average. I have been doing about the same level of work, a little improvement every year of course, so if it is seen as drastically different then that just screams politics. I was talking to a colleague and it seems more about how our bosses look to their bosses. The biggest difference I made this year was drop the attempt to stay in a certain number of hours. Whenever I get the chance I take time off, most weeks I just focus on getting everything done and that adds up quickly.

[iris lilies]

Is there really a rating called "average?" I cant see how an individual emplyee knows if his/her performance is "average" amoung peers. Only someone with a view of many workers can peg a performance within the pack as "average."

At my former place of work, our 5 point scale had #3 named "meets expectations" and other ratings were either a version of exceeds expectations or needs improvement.

While I agree with the overall idea of emotionally disengaging from the review process and just accept the middle rating whatever it is called, I also agree with Sweetana about blowing your own horn with simple facts. If in fact the OP has improved on items mentioned in her last review, list those accomplishments. Also, list a couple of other accomplishments that are stated goals of management to show you are listening. The lists do not have to change a rating to anove average or whatever the middle number is, but you have those items on record and that's good thing for your file.

[Ultralight]

At my work it goes:

Excels
Achieves
Does not achieve

Achieving is average.

[ApatheticNoMore]

At my work we were quite literally told that "meets expectations" is a good review and means we are doing well. We were told that you basically need to be extraordinary and almost single handedly changing the whole company, and a genius to get "exceeds expectations" and that almost noone would get any only a few super super extraordinary employees, so noone should be surprised if they didn't get any "exceeds expectations".

So we basically have: meets expectations, doesn't meet expectations, and exceeds expectations. But who wants to grade themselves "doesn't meet expectations" (although we are also told it was perfectly normal for new employees to have a bunch of "doesn't meet expectations" as they were still learning things and so it shouldn't be taken personally in their case. So apparently new to the company and having something to learn is now equivalent to "doesn't meet expectations"! Wow it must be demoralizing to be a new employee). And "exceeds expectations" is basically taboo unless you can defend yourself as the next Einstein or something. So what is left? Just meets expectations on everything. To have only 3 grades to make one of them taboo and the other sound like you asking to get fired, and so in reality to confine everyone to just kind of marking themselves "meets expectations" on everything makes the self-review ENTIRELY futile. Really what is the point? Just to annoy us I think.

[iris lilies]

Agreed, "meets expectations" means you are doing the job.

If the OP is turning work in on schedule as she previously posted, she is meeting expectations.

[Zoe Girl]

Dang it! I keep writing long responses and getting kicked out. For us a 3 = meets expectations, nothing special, a 4 = fully meets, includes an extra, and 5 = exceeds. In education you basically solved the poverty achievement gap. Last year I thought doing an extra project was a 4 in that area, it was marked a 2 because I didn't ask permission for 1 of the 3 sessions I trained. There were no questions about the quality of the training I did or a check in with the people I did the work for, it is just common knowledge that I do training well so therefore that is a 3.

I have had flashbacks to my ex and his narcissism especially last year after the review. After the review I kinda fell apart and made some mistakes I have to admit. I am getting through it but I am doing the same project at the request of a high supervisor and an outside partner. I know I am doing a good job but I also have panic attacks since all this extra work was written down as a negative last year. I thought I was building a great career, and someone I trusted marked it extra low. Really felt like some of the abuse. Getting berated to the point of breakdown over a small error in a much larger picture of good work. If you haven't lived through that then I hope you don't understand because it sucks. I don;t claim victim hood but I really wanted some healing experiences instead of being so tough for so long. The biggest thing I feel right now is exhaustion, some fear and lack of safety as well.

I feel I have met all my deadlines, done quality work, and have tried to prove it. This year all the deadlines are just a given no matter how many more tasks we are given. It will still be up to someone else to pay attention to that. My supervisor of 5 years just figured out how to pronounce my last name, not counting on people paying attention. Right now I am taking the morning off since I worked until 8 last night and am already seeing how I can go in on the weekend. I need a lot of private time to work on my review and I have to be on the district server, and I think I am going to cry a few times. I think I need a good cry right now in fact.

[freshstart]

cry now, maybe it will be cathartic.

I used to care about evaluations until I realized my supervisor was being marked down for being late doing them so it was a rush job on her end. I don't think she gave **it and eventually neither did I. It was not tied to our raises or lack of raises and a great review just meant more work piled on top of your already heavy load.

[Gardenarian]

I have never had a job where we had regular reviews - at least not the kind you have at your job. It almost sounds like going to school, and having to make straight As every term.
How important are the reviews?
At my jobs it's been something that the director just had to file; there was really no stress on the employees at all (unless you did something just terrible, like getting in fights or something.) Even tenure review was not that big of a deal.
Just curious if this is common in all schools - you work for a public school district, don't you?

[iris lilies]

I have never had a job where we had regular reviews - at least not the kind you have at your job. It almost sounds like going to school, and having to make straight As every term.
How important are the reviews?
At my jobs it's been something that the director just had to file; there was really no stress on the employees at all (unless you did something just terrible, like getting in fights or something.) Even tenure review was not that big of a deal.
Just curious if this is common in all schools - you work for a public school district, don't you?
Youve worked in communities ty college libraries, am I right? And you dnt have annual reviews?

At my place of work, a public library, they were required annually for most staff and salary asjustments did not ake place without one.

i will say that my boss often did not perform an annual review of administrative staff, and we often didnt get raises. Or sometimes we all got the same raise with no performance review. I didnt mind a lack of review. I hated doing them for my staff.

[Zoe Girl]

We have them, they are increasingly higher stakes, and more extensive (my site staff also needs to do this, everyone in the district including part time lunch ladies, etc) every year. I have been reading about our district, we are a big 'reform' district. That means constant change, testing, data, and stress. There are many teachers leaving because the work load is so high. We have 'choice', which means parents can choose their own school based on interest. There are a lot of unique schools, science or art focus, back to basics discipline or like mine which is expeditionary learning. That means no union protection for teachers, they don't have to pay according to the payscale that recognizes years of service or adhere to any limits on work hours. They also have not shown the results that we were promised.

So I used to be rather chill about reviews, I did them, I take all my work seriously, but I was pretty relaxed. This year is not so great. However after a good long cry, sorting some things out, and an afternoon of working directly with the kids I feel much better. I think I can just do the work involved and get it done.

[sweetana3]

Zoe, I think stability has a huge place in our lives. It seems to me that constant change is often an excuse for "we are afraid and want to hide whatever is going on or we cannot do what we promised".

In Indianapolis, we have the unique schools (magnets) and all kinds of things going on but sometimes it appears to cover the awful things that continue to happen in some of the hidden failing schools. We have had state takeover, change in for profit managers because they could not show the results they promised and many other things. And we are just being told about another set of "changes" being considered.

[Zoe Girl]

Yes sweetana, There is a lot of stuff like that going on here too. One of my biggest issues is that a set of schools has been promoted heavily in minority neighborhoods to reduce the achievement gap. A lot of parents are of course sending their kids to these schools. They also have a zero tolerance on behavior issues. I visited one that had one of our afterschool programs in it to sub and the kids were lined up like military. Then I worked with the kids and honestly they needed strong structure, unlike my hippy dippy school. However the kids also need a lot of support when home is chaotic. You don't even realize how much it affects a kid to have regular meal times, bedtimes, consistent people at home. In poverty that does not happen because everyone is at survival level. Well they studied race based suspensions across the board and found they are the worst. Huge discrepancies in how often a student of color was suspended for the same offense compared to a white child. Not same offense and same result but a drastically higher suspension rate for children of color. Each out of school suspension increases the risk of being in the justice system before 18, and being in the justice system before 18 greatly increases the chances you will spend your life in the justice system. We have something like 35-50% of children of color with a father who has been in jail. This is not about being strict or holding high standards, it is proven disparities in education that are supposed to level a playing field. Very hard to believe any of the rhetoric about these charter and innovation schools when you look at that.

Meanwhile I personally know teachers who are losing their jobs over test scores. There is no room for kids who have become homeless or lost a parent or been abused to not always improve academically. The test scores are the evaluation of the teacher in the end no matter what other people say. With the data load and political climate around out of school programming I fear we are starting to get the same pressure. They change the rules on how I can spend money every year, the last change was that I can't buy food for parent programming. In a high poverty school you need to feed people to get them to events, even affluent parents don't have time to run home, feed kids and attend an event. Part of my grant requirements are to show parent engagement. We have been asking for donations even though I can budget carefully and afford some food for events, I am just not allowed to do it anymore. Running around to 3 grocery stores to get $25 gift cards and then shop for a family night is just one more way it creeps up on you, the work load to maintain my family engagement is increasing along with everything else. A change in federal rules around paying for snacks now means I spend 3 hours at the end of every month to get the same snacks I did with one hour of work.

Okay I have griped enough!

[sweetana3]

Gotta think that a consultant comes up with these changes just to justify consulting expense. Again, stability in rules and in life makes everything easier or at least predictable. Wish we could demand it.

[Zoe Girl]

I had a friend who made good money consulting and then realized the firm he was working with was basically setting up the company to need them forever. He does some consulting on the side, building a business is really hard. I know it was a good move for him to leave however right now he is looking for work and having a very hard time with depression. He did go back to school as well. I am glad he has a strong meditation practice and some self-care plans but it is hard.