Fear of medications......for reasonable reasons..........

[CathyA]

I think I've been depressed since birth.......and/or had parents who had so many of their own mental issues that they couldn't parent me very well.
I've had ups and downs my whole life. Fortunately, I've had enough ups to make it all worth it.

About 18 years ago I developed fibromyalgia and was going through perimenopause. I had many, many years of pain, overwhelming fatigue, depression. I finally agreed about 8-10 years ago to be on a little bit of a beta block and a little sertraline (zoloft). I also started using cpap. Life got good again.

I've developed fairly bad osteoarthritis in the past couple of years, which has caused much pain. Because of my overly sensitive/responsive neuro system, there aren't many drugs to take that don't give side-effects that seem almost as bad as the condition they're treating. Something happened to me in January (don't know what)......but I began having much buzzing in my legs and then muscle/joint pain in my entire body. I've seen several doctors.......some of which were totally useless. Why is it that they want you to go immediately on a hard core drug and don't even ask ANYTHING about your lifestyle........nutrition, exercise, supplements, what natural things you've tried already........

Anyhow.......my Internal med doc is sending me to a physical medicine doc (per my request), so I might learn how to strengthen parts of my body that might be weak and causing problems. I have incredible aching in my thighs and my ischial tuberosities hurt to sit on. I don't know if some of my pains are from depression, or visa versa. But it does seem that my sertraline isn't working anymore.

So......my doc also wants me to try Cymbalta, since it works on depression AND pain associated with fibromyalgia. But I'm terrified to try new meds. I just can't deal with side-effects........probably because my system is so sensitive. I don't want to be dizzy, or nauseous, or feel like I'm in another world. I know it's a crap shoot........it might make me feel much better. But......you also have to consider how long before you know if it works, and then how long until it doesn't work anymore and then you have to go through the hell of withdrawal. And why shouldn't it be hard? .......we're messing with the brain.

So.......I'm stuck between one antidepressant and another, so to speak.

I take calcium, magnesium, D3, B12. My mind has always been so fragile. By that I mean I can easily feel like I've slipped behind the looking glass. I hate those feelings. Maybe I'm just a control freak.........or maybe my neuro system is tweaked so very high...... I don't know. But the Cymbalta is staying in it's pill bottle for now. I think and think and think.....one minute, I'm about the swallow it, and then I put it back and go back to the sertraline.

It's funny to think that it might be so hard for me to take it, because I need something like it to actually go ahead and take it!

Anyone else have this fear of meds? How do you deal with it..........especially when it's something that will change your brain chemistry? What's unfortunate, is that you have to give it a month or 2 to know if it's going to work or not. And by then, if it doesn't, you have to go through more hell coming off it.

I've been tested for RA and other inflammatory diseases, Lyme, thyroid, etc.

[TxZen]

I do. I take a low dose..as my doc calls it "old lady dose..." of anxiety medication. It's 5mg's and more than enough for me. I am a very cautious person with any type of meds. I don't even take supplements because I fear the side effects and I don't want my body to become dependent, thus less effective.

What has been working for me is intense yoga sessions..at home or in a studio and lots of walking and moving my body. It helps take the edge off. Also, I avoid most caffeine now. I used to be able to drink coffee by the vat and now one small diner cup is too much.

[CathyA]

Thanks TxZen. The doc is starting me off at the lowest dose possible......unfortunately, it's a capsule. If it were a tablet, I could break it in half.
I try to stay active, since I've noticed that my pain many times stays the same whether I'm active or not.......so I might as well do things.
I think a lot of people have medication problems because doctors give the "normal" dose, instead of starting low.

[TxZen]

I hope you find something that works for you. And yes, smaller dosing works best I think.

[CathyA]

Thanks TxZen.

[sylvia]

I agree small dose may be a good start. I have family members with anxiety and depression and sometimes you need to know when to really used them as opposed to doing other things like positive self talk better diet and exercise.So do your homework and take it from there.Great topic. I dont like taking medication but Im on 3 for my high blood pressure. One is beta blocker, for water, and for reducing sodium levels in my body. I have essential hypertension. Both my parents have it Im also a little overweight. Ill lose weight for my health but not guarantee that hbp will go away. Trust me I was not happy taking 3 pills but it was that or have a stroke or worse while caring for my newborn. No joke about these things.

[JaneV2.0]

Could your doctor work with a compounding pharmacist to have them make smaller-dose capsules? Pharma only makes sledgehammer doses of most medications, not taking into account differing tolerances.

[peggy]

I know this is gonna sound funny but, check out botox. Some wonderful results have been observed off-label. For migraines and mild/moderate depression. And apparently just one little shot in that muscle between the brows will do it. No need to shoot up the whole face/forehead. And some have actually gone into remission for the depression and didn't need a repeat, but those that did it was just every 6 months or so.
And it isn't really expensive, just a few hundred dollars. (I doubt your insurance would pay for off-label stuff)
Small impact and no worries about swallowing a pill everyday or side effects. Check it out. It just might be what you need.

[Aqua Blue]

Two things happened to me on low dose for fibromyalgia/pain management SSRIs. First, after about 2 months I started feeling very apathetic. I felt like it would be ok to say, just walk out in front of a car. I don't think I was really suicidal, I just didn't care. that went pretty much away since I stopped them.

The second thing was I stopped having that background conversation you have all day with yourself. Like when you are talking to someone and you think, Oh, I need to remember to pick up bread on the way home. After I stopped taking them, that got somewhat better, but it still isn't the same. I need to write a lot more things down. It is somewhat hard to judge, but I don't think it totally returned to normal.

I took the first one, stopped it for those reasons and actually both side effects went totally away. It was a number of years, different Dr and I basically felt bullied into trying a different one. "If you want help with this, you need to be willing to do what I suggest..." After that episode I never completely recovered and doubt I will as it has been about 10 years. YMMV

[ApatheticNoMore]

Well you could try meditation, but that takes discipline and time set aside for it. Yea some people suspect fibro might have a mind-body psychosomatic component, I don't think any of this is known for sure, but that's may be part of why there is some research on antidepressants helping fibro. But stress reduction via meditation etc. might also help, but it's probably the slow route for sure compared to antidepressants.

I'm somewhat sensitive to meds, and I don't take any. Though, I'll take antibiotics when I have to, even that's not without side effects, but it's a no brainer if they've confirmed a bacterial infection.

[Aqua Blue]

ANM, that is interesting to me because I always thought that I developed fibro because of chronic stress. I grew up in a household that was very stressful. Then stayed married for 20 years in an even more stressful environment. I seemed like I could never sleep deeply because I always had to be on guard. The fibro has been a lot better now, 20 years after my marriage.

[CathyA]

I think there might be a big female hormone component.......which is probably why there are so many more females with fibro, than males.
Some of my worst fibro episodes are laced with migraine auras.....which, before menopause, always happened with my hormone fluctuations. But no one seems interested in making that connection.
In the past, I have gone to a "reproductive endocrinologist", but their focus is on infertility, and they seem not to care about whatever happens after menopause. I guess our suffering after menopause is supposed to make us want to throw ourselves into the tar pit.....to make more room for the baby-makers. ;)

[JaneV2.0]

Aqua Blue, you make a good point. SSRIs and other medications are a giant experiment--with humans as lab rats--and when the brain is involved, we should be very careful.

[Suzanne]

I avoided medication for major depression for years, then tried the SSRIs - they didn't work. I tried the tricyclics - they didn't work. So I refused to try anything else. The last two years have been really harsh, so finally I agreed to try Wellbutrin. I started on a low dose, and worked my way up to 300mg two weeks ago. The difference is amazing. I wake up feeling pleased that the sun has risen. Food tastes good again, instead of being something I had to eat to stay alive. I'm looking at the world around me. I intend to take it for three months and then taper it off again.

I recently decided to find out just how triptans work for migraine, and what they do is to increase the sensitivity of serotonin receptors so you take it up faster! No wonder SSRIs didn't work for me.

Wellbutrin works on norepinephrine and dopamine. I'll be researching how to encourage in-brain production of these neurotransmitters through lifestyle management, so I can keep feeling good without risking the effects of long-term anti-depressant use. Wellbutrin seems to work very well for 28% of the people who try it, so I was lucky. Finding the correct medication is very much a trial-and-error game still. Hopefully, the blood tests now being developed for depression will cut a lot of that out. Apparently they can already determine which depressives will benefit from lifestyle changes and talk therapy, and which will do better with medication. I think there's a big problem in that medical professionals have gotten stuck in the, oh clinical depression, that means serotonin deficiency mindset.