Starting the decluttering again

[minimalisticaspirations]

After a few quiet months I´m thinking of starting my decluttering (of the biiig house) again. I have been at it several times the last few years but i never get finished. Perhaps a mild case of the add? :) I feel there´s so much left to do. My first attempt will be the drawers where different knick-knacks and some hobby materials are kept. My second goal for this evening is finding more things out of the kitchen to purge. I mean, how many kitchen towels can a family of two need...we DO have a washer ;).

Feeling somewhat scared - it´s the good old "what if I need it later" that usually gets me. Another favorite is "but it is soo beautiful". NO! My inner ego needs to shut up. What´s your excuse?

I have so many dreams and things I´d like to do. All of this stuff is making me put off what I really should be doing, like traveling, visiting friends, starting that side business etc. I know that once I get my house in order my life should also detangle a bit, maybe the stress and anxiety would decrease. What would you do instead of taking care of the stuff?

[Ultralight]

Feeling somewhat scared - it´s the good old "what if I need it later" that usually gets me. Another favorite is "but it is soo beautiful". NO! My inner ego needs to shut up. What´s your excuse?

To deal with the "what if I need it later" (aka: "Just in case!") I go through a few thought exercises.
1. "What if I need it later?/Just in Case" are a couple of hoarder mantras. Just thinking about that will often scare me straight.
2. Take 30 days and write down every item you needed from earlier or you needed in a "just in case" scenario. You probably won't actually need anything, or not much. And it will probably be something that costs very little -- like Band-Aids or some cheap sunglasses you lost. After doing this you will probably feel more confident about not needing much of anything "just in case."
3. This is at first going to sound wacky, but when you are worrying over "what if I need it later?!" you are really expressing fear and insecurity. So count your blessings as they relate to your security. For instance, when I do this I say things like:
-I am resilient and creative
-I have my sis and BIL I can count on (and they can count on me)
-I have some cash in my savings account
-I don't truly need much anyway

(By counting these types of blessings you realize that you are more secure than you think, and it has very little to do with whatever you have hoarded in your garage or closet. :))


What would you do instead of taking care of the stuff?

What am I doing, you mean? ;)

-Bike rides
-Fishing
-Canoe trips with friends
-Personal enrichment classes
-Reading amazing books
-Listening to music
-Hanging out with Harlan
-Lounging around
-Enjoying a ripe watermelon
-Meditating

I could go on and on.

It is better than stuff, just so much better!

[minimalisticaspirations]

Yes, i already know all of this. Until the insecure little semi-hoarder in me starts yelling. I am going to try to get some decluttering done now - I hope to tackle some "hard" items too and not just the easy ones. If I never get around to it - what´s the point of dreaming of a better future? It´s so easy to be objective when looking at others, I´m discovering. Would be nice to apply that to oneself :)

...already on my way to the cupboards with my "toss it" gloves on! I CAN do ít, I WILL do it. No more putting it off !!

[Ultralight]

Yes, i already know all of this. Until the insecure little semi-hoarder in me starts yelling. I am going to try to get some decluttering done now - I hope to tackle some "hard" items too and not just the easy ones. If I never get around to it - what´s the point of dreaming of a better future? It´s so easy to be objective when looking at others, I´m discovering. Would be nice to apply that to oneself :)

...already on my way to the cupboards with my "toss it" gloves on! I CAN do ít, I WILL do it. No more putting it off !!

I used these methods for myself, though I will admit it was not especially hard.

What I find worth reminding myself of is this:

Time after time after time, I have divested of something, often something big -- like a bow & arrow or a piece of furniture or some outdoors gear.

Each time I do it I realize that on the other side it was not as big of a deal as I thought it would be.

It seems like we anticipate anguish that is really bad, but then once it happens it is not that bad and it fades quickly. And once it fades there is profound relief. :)

[pinkytoe]

I am moving and going through a lifetime of stuff. It has been one of the most anxiety provoking things I have ever known since a whole lot must be gotten rid of. The thing that is so maddening to me is that I can't really put a finger on exact reasons why it is so hard to let go. I keep envisioning a future time where I am not constantly dealing with it though and will undoubtedly feel lighter and freer.

[Ultralight]

The thing that is so maddening to me is that I can't really put a finger on exact reasons why it is so hard to let go.

This right here. Profound and intriguing.

[Teacher Terry]

I have felt lighter and better with major decluttering and I am not a minimalist. Also I got a reward because I can clean so much faster. I even threw away my HS yearbooks because I never looked at them and my kids didn't want them.

[Ultralight]

I have felt lighter and better with major decluttering and I am not a minimalist.

This reminds me of something so, so many women said in college and graduate school -- especially in Women's and Gender Studies classes.

"I am not a feminist but..." and then they would say something feminist or several feminist things. I remember wondering, WTH? haha

[Teacher Terry]

I had 4 really close friends in HS and every 10 years or so we get together. I invited them all a year ago to come and stay here for a visit. They live all over the country. They just left today after a week and we had so much fun. One person mentioned our yearbook and people gasped when I told them I threw them away. But when I asked after graduating 44 years ago how often did they look at them? Not much I can tell you. Most things my kids don't want so no reason to keep. My kids did tell me not to throw away any of the photo albums so I won't.

[Teacher Terry]

UL: I am not a minimalist compared to you and that's my criteria:D.

[Ultralight]

UL: I am not a minimalist compared to you and that's my criteria:D.

LOL

Oh noes! Don't let me be the measuring stick.

[Teacher Terry]

I do have much less stuff then my friends. However, we just finished our patio outside and I did buy flowers and a few pics, decorations, water fountain etc but I did not get carried away like I would have in the past. It seems like every time I dust I get rid of something. I had bought some cool books on the history and stories of the Sierra Nevada's people/native americans/adventure stories, etc, when I was in Yellowstone last year so asked my friends if they wanted the books and all but 1 found a new home.

[ToomuchStuff]

UL: I am not a minimalist compared to you and that's my criteria:D.

Right sizing is different for everyone. Not everyone would be right as a minimalist, so it isn't right to compare yourself to others. You can use them as examples as well as experimenting to see what fits your needs, but as an example, if you had kids and they were in school, most parents tend to keep some medications around for their kids as they pass along illnesses at the school.
How much medication does UL keep around the house (and does he count per pill in his count, or is it by bottle in possession count).

[Ultralight]

How much medication does UL keep around the house (and does he count per pill in his count, or is it by bottle in possession count).

I have a couple tubes of neosporin and some ibuprofen. That might be it though...

[Teacher Terry]

I was just kidding about the comparison. I have been changing so much as I age which I find surprising in the amount of stuff that makes me happy. I also find that I want my home cleaner and it is too much work if I have too much junk. When I was young I had many more decorations, etc. We have a wall on our patio that has an awning so I have had fun getting some cute metal signs to hang on it. Things like "the saloon is now open, and " Cowgirl beer is cheaper then therapy, etc." But I am being careful to create a fun spot to sit and relax without getting too much.

[Chicken lady]

the thing about "feminist" is that early in it's lexography it was claimed and defined by a bunch of women who insisted that in order to qualify for the classification you had to embrace all of their personal opinions. Then they told the rest of us we couldn't be in their club if we didn't agree to all of their rules. And we said "fine. We don't want to be in your club."

i mean, I am not a lesbian, but I find some women beautiful. If the definition of "lesbian" ever evolves to include that as a minimum requirement, then you can count me in.

you, UA sometimes come off as the minimalist equivalent of those women. "You can't be a minimalist if..."

[Ultralight]

the thing about "feminist" is that early in it's lexography it was claimed and defined by a bunch of women who insisted that in order to qualify for the classification you had to embrace all of their personal opinions. Then they told the rest of us we couldn't be in their club if we didn't agree to all of their rules. And we said "fine. We don't want to be in your club."

Personally, I would disagree with this in part.


you, UA sometimes come off as the minimalist equivalent of those women. "You can't be a minimalist if..."

I think there are some lines a minimalist cannot cross. But I think minimalism looks different for each individual.

[Chicken lady]

Which part? And please remember, I was born in the 60s.

[Teacher Terry]

CL: I too find some woman beautiful but that is just appreciating beauty and has nothing to do with love/sex, etc. Feminism was a little crazy/militant in the old days and I know just what CL was talking about. YOu had to work outside the home-staying home with kids was unacceptable, etc.

[Ultralight]

Why not make feminism a big tent? Or perhaps it was...

Let me compare to something I know a little more intimately, the secular community.

We have our firebrands and our diplomats. We have our hard-nosed types and our kum ba ya types.

But at the end of the day, this is a club with really only one entry ticket: You must be at least agnostic.


Feminism, from what I read in books and from what I was told in women's and gender studies classes in college and graduate school, had many strains even back in the day. Some got more airtime than others though, I am sure.

[Ultralight]

But I am going to eject from the feminism topic. I don't want to be misinterpreted as "mansplaining."

[Teacher Terry]

It's fine UL but I just know what CL is talking about and the many issues.

[Chicken lady]

Also, apologies to the OP for detailing the thread!

how is the decluttering going?

[Ultralight]

I will sometimes meet a secular person who is not involved in the community. They will say something like: "I am an atheist, but I don't want to get involved. I don't want to go to lectures on Sundays. It is too much like church."

I then think: "This person does not realize how vast the secular community is."

Sometimes I explain: "We also have canoeing trips, drinking groups, community volunteering, game nights, cook-outs, road trips, brunches, lunches, dinners, parties, potlucks, discussion groups, book clubs, and meditation groups."

Then they will often be like: "Game night, really? When?" or "Cook-outs? I do like grillin'!" or some such.

Perhaps the feminist community was that way.

[minimalisticaspirations]

Back again! Got the purging kickstarted and now my car is full - of things going to the local charity thrift store. It feels good to finally have gone through the last of my (young) late mothers clothes that I for some reason stored. Now they can get out in the world and do some good! There are some bags that are on their way to my booth at a thrift store. Aah on to the next area then...

If I never even used the (damn) thing ...out it goes!
#productive night

[Chicken lady]

Good job!

I am sorry about your mother, but passing her things on to be used seems like a good way to honor her memory.

[Teacher Terry]

When I get rid of things I always enjoy thinking that they will bring someone else joy when they use it. I wanted a set of 8 matching crystal wine glasses and decided I would be patient and look at thrift stores. After a few months I found a brand new set still in the box for 10.00. If one gets broke I don't feel bad. I have given some expensive stuff to thrift stores because they do me no good just sitting around. Congrats on the progress you are making!!

[minimalisticaspirations]

Thank you. My mother´s stuff should never have been put in our house - it kinda activated my collecting/saving gene; not easy dealing with two households worth of belongings. But I am getting ahead rather well - how do I know that? Because my grandmother is horrified with my "letting go" (laughing at the very thought).

It is really nice to have less to clean and dust, I´m going to use that time for something better now!

[minimalisticaspirations]

[QUOTE=If one gets broke I don't feel bad. I[/QUOTE]

that´s the way to go! I love buying 2hand! That has become a good way for me to not be as attached to stuff!

[Teacher Terry]

When someone dies unexpectedly it can be very hard to let go. When someone is sick for a long time you know it is coming. My Mom died 6 months before her 90th b-day and had been sick for a few years so she got rid of much of her own stuff. My MIL died much younger unexpectedly so everything was left behind and my DH had a very hard time getting rid of it and 9 years later some of it is still in our shed.