Zoe Girl
6-26-16, 8:48pm
So lots of deep breathing, boundaries, etc in place here. I know what I can and can't do, but it is still so frustrating
My oldest sucks with money, big time. She has always seemed to choose friends who are a half step above homeless or have other issues, going back to when she was 15. She had other friends who went to college or did some more career type focus but they have dropped off. Meanwhile she has always worked and been responsible, I see lots of co-dependency here. I know that she used to help friends a lot. Throw in some ADD and several big traumas, and well here we are!
So the big things are that it just took her 3 years!!! to get a haircut. Not because she like her hair longer but it took 3 years to figure this out, have money and get her hair cut. It ended up being that her boyfriend traded some alcohol he got at wholesale price to a friend who is a hairdresser. Seriously, I offered a gift certificate for her to go to the hairdresser who does all our hair and then I was so sure she wouldn't get there that I just told her I would pay whenever she wanted to go. Her hair is super cute btw, She loves it. I have offered to pay for some dental work and her insurance is out in September but she has not made the appointments.
She lives 1/2 mile from me. She wants to borrow some DVD's but I let my son take the car to work. She actually walked the dog over today and met me downstairs to get the DVD's and brownies I made for her. It has taken months to get her to come over even that much ( I am not allowed visiting dogs at my apartment but it was a nice day so we played with the dog outside). I am trying to focus on this being a big step forward rather than the information I found out. The rent went up, their utilities are on shut off status every month, she still has 3 bills in collections, and they had the car repossessed 6 months ago but her dad helped them out.
Back to focusing on the fact she left the house and went on a walk by herself! She seems to have a hard time going anywhere alone besides work, even the grocery store.
My oldest sucks with money, big time. She has always seemed to choose friends who are a half step above homeless or have other issues, going back to when she was 15. She had other friends who went to college or did some more career type focus but they have dropped off. Meanwhile she has always worked and been responsible, I see lots of co-dependency here. I know that she used to help friends a lot. Throw in some ADD and several big traumas, and well here we are!
So the big things are that it just took her 3 years!!! to get a haircut. Not because she like her hair longer but it took 3 years to figure this out, have money and get her hair cut. It ended up being that her boyfriend traded some alcohol he got at wholesale price to a friend who is a hairdresser. Seriously, I offered a gift certificate for her to go to the hairdresser who does all our hair and then I was so sure she wouldn't get there that I just told her I would pay whenever she wanted to go. Her hair is super cute btw, She loves it. I have offered to pay for some dental work and her insurance is out in September but she has not made the appointments.
She lives 1/2 mile from me. She wants to borrow some DVD's but I let my son take the car to work. She actually walked the dog over today and met me downstairs to get the DVD's and brownies I made for her. It has taken months to get her to come over even that much ( I am not allowed visiting dogs at my apartment but it was a nice day so we played with the dog outside). I am trying to focus on this being a big step forward rather than the information I found out. The rent went up, their utilities are on shut off status every month, she still has 3 bills in collections, and they had the car repossessed 6 months ago but her dad helped them out.
Back to focusing on the fact she left the house and went on a walk by herself! She seems to have a hard time going anywhere alone besides work, even the grocery store.