View Full Version : A Big Decision Looming....
This is a doozy, I just got home from my road trip last night and the proverbial sh** is hitting the fan in all sorts of ways while I am trying to make a major life decision. Well, here goes...
About five days into my road trip while I was in Taos, I got a message from the guy who runs the gallery that I am in in Madrid, NM - he wanted me to call him back because he had something to run by me before I was due to be there in the next few days. He informed me he was leaving his job and that he recommended me to the owners of the gallery as the person to replace him! Which would mean me moving to New Mexico from Michigan. Which would mean me quitting the Wholefoods gig. Which would mean me getting to have time to be an artist and live in a state that I've loved for a long time.
I met with the owners for dinner on Saturday June 11 in which they told me the particulars of the position: $1500/month before taxes, a place to stay rent-free and no utilities (there are two rooms off the back of the gallery which is an old adobe house on the main drag of Madrid). I could set up my studio in one of the rooms and use the other room as a bedroom. There is a full bath but no kitchen to speak of (they are willing to put in a small stove/oven, and there is a small fridge already, but no kitchen sink, so this is already a bit problematic. Also the fact that I probably shouldn't have a kitchen/food prep and metalworking studio in the same room). The owners of the gallery are quite laid back and flexible, very easy to work with, as so I am told by the current guy. I would be able to work in my studio on slow days, especially in the winter. But another problem is that it is just a three to five year commitment on their part because they will want to retire and run the gallery themselves at that point.
So my entire trip was consumed with the thought of making a major life change, I mean REALLY major. Like disassembling my cheap-rent townhouse that I've lived in for 20 years, quitting my day job, leaving my daughter (I'll get to the other part of this unfolding saga in a minute) and my 84 year old mom. I have flip-flopped back and forth too many times to count.
Some of the Pros and Cons are this:
Staying Where I am At: leaves me with a decent job, pretty good benefits, a nice place to live, and my networks of people. The cons of staying where I am at is that I am sick of my job, it can be physically hard and exhausting, it sucks all my energy away, it's monotonous, and my schedule keeps me very isolated from my friends and having a good quality of life.
Going To Do A New Life Thing would give me: a brand new adventure, new experiences, new people to meet, a chance to start over, downsize, be a working artist, live more deliberately. The cons of doing a new life thing is the tiny place to live, inability to be able to spread out, and financially probably not such a good idea to do leading up to retirement age, as I may not be able to sock away as much money for retirement as I do now.
So basically, it's the battle between running away to join the circus or being practical and staying put in this dull, boring predictable course until I can somehow retire. The classic "live for now, or making a dying until I don't have to work so much."
And just to add more confusion to the mix, my daughter the addict who had been straight and sober for the last three years, went off on a binge three weeks ago (right before I left on my trip but I didn't find that out until a few days ago). She ended up in the hospital with a bad foot infection. She is out now, but in a very fragile metal state (she is bi-polar as well), newly clean and having very bad mood swings. So now my idea to move out of state doesn't seem like a very good one right now, even though she is an adult and makes her own choices, I feel like I can't leave right now.
I hope I have explained this all well enough because now I am tired and don't feel like typing anymore. I need to let the gallery owners know my decision by tomorrow. I am 95% sure I am going to have to turn it down, I just hope I don't end up regretting it...
Woah, Really big stuff and I am sorry that you are feeling that you can't take it. It is one of those things that works so much better when you are more fancy free. But it would be so good in so many ways, life energy and creativity and energy.
I am sorry about your daughter, I am glad you are there for her and are such a support system. I have made some big choices based on the same factors, tough,
No matter what I am listening and PM me if you need to
You'll probably regret it.
If your gut/practical reasons say it's not right at the moment, that doesn't mean that there might not be a similar opportunity in the future. I'd keep an eye out for other gallery/management type jobs.
Also have you asked your daughter her opinion?
I'd probably take it but I'm in a much different life position than you are.
I took the safe route and was stuck for way too long in a job I hated. Sometimes the risk is worth taking.
Wow! My first reaction is go for it everyone will adjust. Second thoughts are less impulsive. It might be good to ask you daughter her opinion as I would imagine that is the biggest fear. The rest is just trading money and security for art and fulfillment. Good luck deciding. I'll send very good thoughts...
One of the toughest things I've ever done is move from Ohio to Arizona for a job. But it's also been the best change of my life. I moved away from my kids and my toddler grandson. It took me a few years to find friends out here. But I've never regretted it.
mschrisgo2
6-27-16, 12:28am
Personally, I would go for it if it were me, because I know for sure I would regret it.
Simplemind
6-27-16, 1:09am
Scary but I think in the long run I would regret it if I didn't make the move.
ToomuchStuff
6-27-16, 1:58am
On regrets, you will have them either way. Think of the rocking chair on the porch in your elderly state.
Life doesn't come with guarantees so follow your heart. If opportunities come now, they will also unfold in the future.
Wonderful to be considered for such a job, isn't it? Maybe this one opened up just to show you what is possible. Look around for similar openings.
Studios and galleries in general are fragile and vulnerable as employers whereas food supplying is fairly stable but it is not perfect either.
You're getting a lot of "go for it" responses, and I think that's what you'll get here--speaking for myself, I was thinking, "wow, this sounds like SouixQ's dream life!" Being simple livers here, I think we're salivating like Pavlov's dog at the description of this offer! But it's YOUR decision, and you're the one with a lot at stake, not us.
Can you examine what's holding you back and ask yourself IF it's a legitimate reason, or is it an excuse born out of fear? In other words, I completely understand your wanting to stick by your daughter, but is that a good reason, or is it an excuse to defer what YOU need out of life? I'm not saying there's a right or wrong answer--but you need to do some real soul-searching. Having lived with addiction and substance abuse, I'm fairly confident that your daughter will be able to find the resources she needs whether you are up north or down south. In fact, if you stay because of her and she knows it, you might make her actually feel guilty.
As for your mother, I completely understand your desire to be with her at this time in her life. If I were you, she would be a major consideration in my decision. Any chance the Southwest sunshine would do HER good?
OTOH, if you flee Michigan because you are unhappy with your job, (which, as you've said many times in these forums) is hurting your health and quality of life, make sure you're not seeking a "geographical cure." If you decide to stay, continue the soul-searching to see if there's a way to replicate in Michigan the offer that was made to you in NM. Actively opportunity-seek for something that's going to make you happy to get out of bed in the morning--network with local artists and galleries. razz is right--this job is not the only brass ring.
Good luck with your decision! It's a tough one. But you need to follow your heart. I used to advise my kids when they were making decisions to be sure that when they decide something, that decision is not made out of fear. I've opted out of great, great opportunities out of fear and inertia, and those decisions are among the big regrets in my life.
Oh, one more thing... Here's a trick I like to use when making a decision. It's taking the coin-toss one step further. Grab a coin.. say it's "heads, I stay; tails, I go." Then toss it, and pay attention to your first feeling when it lands. If it lands on "stay"--what's that visceral response? Is it "yippee?" or "darn it!" That's the voice you listen to.
Oh, one more thing... The fact that's it's just a 3-year commitment is actually a positive. Three years may seem like a long time to "join the circus" but it might be a shot in the arm for you. If you like it, you stay, if you don't like it, Whole Foods will take you back.
Ultralight
6-27-16, 7:07am
Make the move!
It sounds like a promising opportunity, but personally I'd be asking a bunch of more questions before up and moving. $18k per year is not a lot of money, how many hours a week are you expected to work for that? Are you expected to always be on call or could you have another job should you need one to get by? Have you fully fleshed out all that is expected of you? The living arrangements sound a little sketchy with no real kitchen, and no opportunity to set one up really without cross contamination with your jewelry work.
Not trying to put a damper on this, just advising you to do your due dilgence on this opportunity. I'd also bring Mom with me, if she was willing, so I'd have one less things to worry about.
All good responses here, and all have an element of truth. Of course there is fear holding me back, fear of the unknown, fear of financial problems, fear of what if it doesn't work out, fear of actually doing the downsizing even though I have fantasized about it for so long. But then ten minutes later if I let myself think of all the good things that could happen if I allow myself to take the plunge and have faith that it will all work out then I think I will go for it. And back and forth it goes...
It's the timing that is getting to me too - the current guy is leaving at the end of July, but since I just got back home on Sunday, there is no way I would be able to get back out there by then. The owners know this, and have contingency plans in place for a few weeks in August. I would be able to get back out there by the end of August, September 1st.
Then there is the Wholefoods thing - I really don't feel like going back to work at all. My first day back is Wednesday, and when I think of going back to the same-old, same-old, my heart just kind of falls...
I really wish I could get past the fear and doubt. My mom (of course) doesn't think it is a good idea. I love her dearly but I have spent my entire life with her pretty much invalidating my feelings about anything. My ex-MIL, with whom I am very close to, doesn't seem to think it is a good idea either, and then there is my daughter, whose timing of her relapse is more than a little interesting. I guess I am feeling that feeling of "when am I going to get to do what I finally want to do with my life?" And I have to admit part of my desire to do this is to escape the feeling of being stuck in my life here, doing the same dang thing over and over. I fear the winter season doing the Wholefoods gig because last year was so hard on me with the work, and chronic pains and the S.A.D. Yet I am not sure I can get past the lessons drummed in me from an early age of "keep doing what you are doing and if you are miserable, it is your own fault for not figuring out a way to accept it." But the $64,000 question is, WHY do I feel like I have to keep accepting it? I am almost 55 years old, and I should get to make my own decisions about what is best for me? Then there is the guilt, etc, for wanting to do something like this for myself....
I really wish I had a little more time with deciding; I am going to try and see if I can talk to my therapist today (I hardly ever see her anymore) but maybe she can squeeze me in. And i would also like to see if I can talk to my financial advisor at the credit union too, see what his take is on it.
It's the classic "my heart is telling me to do this, but my gut is telling me it could be a financial mistake that could set me back". So how do you reconcile THAT, knowing what would feed your soul vs. what would be practical? I am SUCH a Libra, everything is black or white, all one way or all the other, never any balance between the two. My whole life I have been battling this, living my life for other people. When am I finally going to really do something for myself?
Ultralight
6-27-16, 7:25am
When am I finally going to really do something for myself?
Now or never.
If I were to make a prediction, I'd say never. Most of us tend toward inertia.
We also rationalize things using our family or friends or bills to make excuses for our inertia.
So again...
When am I finally going to really do something for myself?
Now or never. You choose.
iris lilies
6-27-16, 7:47am
OP, through the many years on this board you have shown yourself to be practical, resilient, and a good, reliable, employee. This job opportunity seems like such a good opportunity for you and your skills.You have decades of work in retail customer services.
You can travel light and live with few things. i was relieved to hear that you rent, do not own the condo, so you won't have to sell it.
The personal relatinships are more problematic. Your daughter--so sorry to hear about her relapse! But she knows what she needs to do. Your mother--do you have siblings who can also look in on her?
The art gallery busness can certainly be iffy, as razz points out. I dont know how to evaluate that part of this proposition.
I do wonder about health insurance. You could buy it on the ACA/Obamacare exchange. If your income is $18,000 I am not sure about that being high enough to keep you out of Medicaid expansion world, but it probably is (especially if there is a provision to consider your in-kind compensation for rent) but I would check into that.
I know you love the Southwest, so this is such a great opportunity! Wow.
To answer Herbgeek's questions, I would be working 5 days a week, 10am to 5pm. There is some flexibility is being able to take time off when needed, but there is no health insurance (I'd have to get New Mexico's Obamacare). The jewelry and artwork I put in the gallery for sale I would then get 100% of the profit (right now it is 50-50). But of course there is no 401K plan. Since I wouldn't be paying any rent or utilities, my only expenses would be food, art supplies, gas and car maintenance, and other personal things. It is about 30 minutes to Santa Fe, where I would have to do all my shopping.
The living arrangements: it would be kind of weird to live and work in the same building. The two rooms are not that big. The bedroom is very nice, and there is a private patio just outside. The middle back room would be the studio, just behind the back wall of the gallery and there is a curtained shoulder-high window that looks out into the gallery proper. It is a decent sized room, and with rearranging things it would make an okay work room, but again, food prep and cooking in the same room is a little problematic. So the only reason that I can seriously consider this offer is the offer of this living space, rent-free. I would not be able to pay rent any other place in Madrid and make it work financially. But when I think of all the resources of living in a place with so many other artists and the town itself, it would be so cool! But it would be pretty quiet in the winter moths, so that might be a little hard. But I could get a lot of work done in the studio then. But what if it feels too isolated? See what I mean? Flip-flop, flip-flip, all the pro and cons keep rolling around in my head until I feel paralyzed. I really want this decision to be made so I don't have to keep going crazy over it. I have to say, my road trip was good but definitely colored by the stress of trying to figure this out. Not a very relaxing vacation, really. Exciting, but not relaxing.
I just don't want to regret not trying it. But I also could look at it as a stepping stone to how I want to arrange my life by the time I am 62 and can actually "retire" from working full time. If I can spend the next 7 years working the way I have been and socking away all the extra money I make (house mates, sale of art, etc), I may actually be able to live a modest life on SS, annuities, IRA payments and working part-time and selling my art work.
Ultralight
6-27-16, 7:52am
OP, through the many years on this board you have shown yourself to be practical, resilient, and a good, reliable, employee. This job opportunity seems like such a good opportunity for you and your skills.
This right here. :+1:
iris lilies
6-27-16, 7:52am
Dude! If it feels too isolating you will go out and find social contacts! It will be ok, that part anyway.
I just don't want to regret not trying it. But I also could look at it as a stepping stone to how I want to arrange my life by the time I am 62 and can actually "retire" from working full time. If I can spend the next 7 years working the way I have been and socking away all the extra money I make (house mates, sale of art, etc), I may actually be able to live a modest life on SS, annuities, IRA payments and working part-time and selling my art work.
And you'll never know unless you do try it. Have you asked yourself the famous question, "What's the worst that can happen?" You hate it and you give the gallery owners notice and you go back to Michigan. Is there any way you can sublet your apartment, furnished?
I've lived in this cooperative housing complex for the last twenty years; I don't "own" my unit, but I own a share of the coop. I have equity from the original amount I paid to buy in. There is no lease, so I could move any time I wanted to, but there is a waiting list to get back in if I needed to come back. Before I knew that my daughter had relapsed, I'd had an idea for a long time that perhaps she could move back home (she's been living a mile a way with her dad since she was 14) and take my bedroom and rent out her old bedroom (like I've been doing), though me not living on the premises may not be kosher. That way I wouldn't have to get rid of the townhouse or all my furniture in case it didn't work out. Pursuant to the coop's by-laws, I am not allowed to sublet to anyone else. But since her relapse I have decided to take that offer off the table because I am not sure I want to trust her right now with that kind of responsibility. I do not want to put myself at risk myself financially. So the only way I would do this venture is if I dismantled my life here in Michigan, lock, stock and barrel. And as much as I have fantasized about it, actually doing it in the next month or so feels overwhelming.
We are experiencing the same minefield of emotions about starting over in new place though in a different phase of life. We are going for it - even though we are leaving lots of "strings" behind. It IS scary and overwhelming but it is EXCITING too. We know it's not the ideal time for us (is it ever?) because of elderly parents but life is short and at some point, you can't be FULLY responsible for grown family member's lives just because they aren't. I vote for trying it.
Ultralight
6-27-16, 9:16am
I am reminded of something Williamsmith said on here -- that legend of the Simple Living Forum.
I am going to do my best to paraphrase and I acknowledge that I can't reproduce his wit or insight.
But he said something like this:
At various crossroads and big choice moments in life, we feel like maybe we are not in control at all and/or that the decision is too complicated or overwhelming. So we don't make a decision and we just bumble along the same well-worn path we really are not happy with. But looking back on life I realize that these choices were not so complicated and that we had way more control than we even realized.
That stuck with me. And it makes me lean toward: "Go for it!"
What a tough decision. I would be so tempted but I know your responsibilities to mom and daughter are pretty big.
We were once offered something similar and turned it down, which ended up being a good thing because the gallery closed 2 years later.
The Santa Fe area is deep in my heart. I'm already planning my fall escape there though I was just there in May. Right now if I were offered that...I'd take it even though I knew it were only 3-5 years. You might build connections to move to another gallery, you might have more opportunities to seek out shows (check out https://girlsincofsantafe.org/arts-crafts) they always wanted us to come do that show; http://www.craftmasternews.com/newmexico.aspx has some show info, and we always did http://www.riograndefestivals.com/ twice a year as well as Weem's Gallery invitational only art show (they've quit the show after 30 some years) but the gallery in Albuquerque is still very popular http://www.weemsgallery.com/page16.html. The gallery we sold to in Santa Fe closed or I'd give you that contact as well.
:) do this for YOU. It sounds so exciting.
Ultralight
6-27-16, 9:31am
:) do this for YOU.
Agree!
SO many factors, and I have a little Libra in my chart so I know that one. My kids had horrible timing with my retreats. It was very hard to start doing some because of it. One was a weekend and on Wednesday they left out alcohol and pot stuff on the table. I was the airport pick up person, food delivery, everything and I really wanted to go. My mom drove out from Iowa without telling the kids and watched them over the weekend. Probably the nicest thing EVER. The weeklong one I went on out of state ended with my daughter coming back home and admitting she needed rehab. It is not so different than when they were very little and it seemed as soon as you got sick they got super needy. After a couple retreats they are better, but geez!
I am shifting more to going if you can set up things back in Michigan so that it is possible to come back and pick up the essentials. Your health with being on your feet is a big issue, and if you give notice at Whole Foods there is very likely a job if you come back. On the other side I don't want to be a downer but I have several friends in the 40-50 age range who have worked independently and in 'cooler' jobs that I have had who now have no savings, retirement or anything. They also did not put that into their business plans. So maybe my parents were right about something when they were nervous about my life. It sounds like they have some retirement but not quite everything, and living expenses would be super cheap. I don't think the world is the way it used to be that our parents experienced, jobs with retirement, health insurance and reasonable hours.
I am reminded of something Williamsmith said on here -- that legend of the Simple Living Forum.
I am going to do my best to paraphrase and I acknowledge that I can't reproduce his wit or insight.
But he said something like this:
At various crossroads and big choice moments in life, we feel like maybe we are not in control at all and/or that the decision is too complicated or overwhelming. So we don't make a decision and we just bumble along the same well-worn path we really are not happy with. But looking back on life I realize that these choices were not so complicated and that we had way more control than we even realized.
That stuck with me. And it makes me lean toward: "Go for it!"
I really like that, and it applies to my working my way into the mindfulness work world. I can't give up what I am doing that is taking care of me however I can take an educated risk.
I've always to live with a mini fridge, a microwave, and a hot plate. Lack of kitchen sounds great to me!
I just read about a high school friend's daughter who has been living and making music in Taos for some twenty years. I looked up Madrid, and see that it is basically an artist colony. It sounds ideal to me. If not now, when?
freshstart
6-27-16, 11:10am
I think Catherine made some great points so I won't repeat that. It sounds like your DD has her dad, is that a working relationship that might allow you a break from being for support system? If Dmom has no one, I would offer to help her find a senior apt in Madrid and then leave it all up to her. I can understand not wanting to be so far from an 84 yo unless someone else there picks up the slack.
my one last thought is to check out the New Mexico health plans closely before you go. I am losing COBRA Jan 1 and the NYS plans are prohibitively expensive, the cheapest one starts with a 5k deductible. I am living on $1880 a month and at least $800 of that goes towards healthcare monthly only to go higher once I lose COBRA. Just a word of caution.
otherwise, I think it sounds wonderful and you have been saying that Whole Foods was sucking you dry for a long time. As Jane said, "if not now, when?"
When trying to make a hard decision I use the 5-year question:
"If I only had 5 years left to live, would I still want this?"
We never really know how long we have, and this questions brings things into sharp relief for me between the things that are really important and those that are about should or expectation or a sense of obligation.
Live for you...the rest will work itself out.
I took a HUGE leap of faith 2 years ago-- I did lose some friends, who didn't agree with my choices, and colleagues but they are related to healthcare, so I am no worried about it. I had to do this for me.
I walked away not knowing a single thing about my future career nor having any contacts or insights. 2 years in, I have a wealth of information, so reliable friends and a fresh outlook on life.
Search you soul and you will find the right answer. I wish you the best.
You guys are the best, this is really helping me today. I am waiting for someone to call me back regarding Obama care in New Mexico. I have contacted the gallery owners and we will be talking on a conference call tonight, so I can ask my final questions.
You know what is pushing me to say yes? I've been home since late Saturday night and I am very unenthusiastic about being here in my lovely townhouse. It feels like a prison with velvet walls. I have been in a rut for a very long time and I just don't think I can put myself through the paces anymore. I went to work today to get my schedule, and though it was nice to see my co-workers, the thought of doing the same dang thing day in and day out...it's just not working for me anymore. I think it is finally time to do something JUST for myself, no matter what my mom thinks. My daughter is going to do what she is going to do, whether I am here or not. Regarding the townhouse, I checked with the office today and she would not be allowed to take over the place anyway according to the by-laws, so keeping the house is out of the equation. If I needed to come back for some reason, I would be put on the short-list for a one bedroom place since I have lived here for so long.
I feel like I am waiting for the final pieces to line up today, then I will have the big conversation with the owners tonight and make the final decision then.
It sounds as if the heart will win. I like the idea of what would you do if you only had 5 years to live. You're smart and very hard working so I think you will succeed wherever you are so stopping the soul sucking and physically damaging job sounds like a good plan for the next 5 years. Good luck.
ApatheticNoMore
6-27-16, 2:13pm
It does sound like the opportunity of a lifetime.
It does sound like the opportunity of a lifetime.
While this is clearly in the direction that Sioux-Q wants to go, a $10/hour job with no benefits that she likely will have to pay her own relocation expenses for, is IMO, not exactly the opportunity of a lifetime. She still may want to do it for other reasons.
Teacher Terry
6-27-16, 2:23pm
I had a similar opportunity when I was 44. I moved to a place I had never been for a job. I interviewed by phone. I only had 2 weeks to get rid of everything in a 3 story house plus basement that I would not be taking and drive across the country. My elderly Mom did not want to go but encouraged me to go for it. I put the house up for sale with a local realtor and we just faxed to complete the deal. I didn't sleep much during those 2 weeks prior because I had so much to do. My Mom ran a sale everyday while I packed and I had a few friends that helped. 19 years later I never regretted the decision. Jobs are rare in the arts so you may never get another chance to do this. What's the worse that can happen? You move back to Michigan after 3-5 years or you find another gallery job based on the contacts you make at this new job. It is your time to do something for yourself. Very exciting!
Teacher Terry
6-27-16, 2:24pm
Rent is very expensive in that area so she actually is making more then 10/hour.
ApatheticNoMore
6-27-16, 2:25pm
That's $10 with fully paid rent and utilities though, which makes it actually a considerably higher wage. If one wants to relocate they are pretty much stuck paying their relocation regardless.
Ultralight
6-27-16, 2:30pm
I think it is finally time to do something JUST for myself, no matter what my mom thinks. My daughter is going to do what she is going to do, whether I am here or not.
These two parts are key.
I am sitting here thinking about an opportunity to make art slipping through your fingers. Maybe there is another way, but if so it hasn't presented itself. It sounds to me like the universe is offering you a gift. Listen to your instincts, as always.
" And the day came when the risk (it took) to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin I just opened this Simple Abundance to read and this is the quote for June 18 (I'm behind). I thought it might help in your decision making. My husband is wishing you luck too- he's a fellow Libra and understands your weighing all the options. He's a stay put person but thinks- after I told him your saga- that going would be great!
Another thing to consider is that when we open ourselves up to new situations, uncomfortable as it is, all kinds of wonderful things can happen. We tend to imagine the worst but the opposite is possible. Who knows? You might meet the love of your life or have more art selling than you can imagine or...One of the things I love most about being alive is the serendipity of taking chances.
Ultralight
6-27-16, 4:07pm
Another thing to consider is that when we open ourselves up to new situations, uncomfortable as it is, all kinds of wonderful things can happen.
I have heard that this does happen sometimes.
Keep it coming, you guys! I keep telling myself, you can't make room for the new until you let go of the old. I have been stuck in a holding pattern ever since I became a single parent back in 1993. Everything I did was to give my daughter as stable an upbringing as possible. I did manage to do that, despite a lot of obstacles with her dad and his mental health issues, and then her mental health and drug abuse issues. It took a great toll on me, and still has even though she is 24 years old now. I am tired of living this life I had to create for us in order to survive. It doesn't fit me anymore, and hasn't for a long time. I cannot kid myself any longer that I can be happy here continuing to do what I've been doing for so long.
I just got home from talking to my financial guy. He helped me sort out some stuff, and doesn't think it is a terrible idea at all. The thing that scares me is how rigid in my thinking I have let myself become as I get older, and I don't want to be like that anymore. It isn't serving me well. And yes, this is all so incredibly uncomfortable and scary and exciting and...scary. But I have to remember, if it doesn't work out I can always do something else. I HAVE to be creative and flexible and take opportunities as they come. I used to be like that when I was younger. I think that life battered me around a lot and I really needed stability for a long time. But that time is up now, I really am free to do whatever I see fit for myself.
Ultralight
6-27-16, 4:22pm
I wish I had someone offer me work that I would find meaningful and enjoyable in some sweet place.
For those of us without this opportunity, let me say: Take it!
frugal-one
6-27-16, 5:07pm
My thoughts were to think about how much longer it will take to be done work forever if you take this job. Work at what you want for three years and then have to work forever to make up the shortfall? However, your post above about talking to your financial planner telling you that you were realistic changed my view.
My thoughts were to think about how much longer it will take to be done work forever if you take this job. Work at what you want for three years and then have to work forever to make up the shortfall? However, your post above about talking to your financial planner telling you that you were realistic changed my view.
I was concerned about this too. But the flip side is that when one is doing what they love retirement becomes a much less urgent goal. Also, moving to an artist colony, working in a gallery, making art, etc, will undoubtedly lead to other opportunities, be they full time, part time, being hired to make specific pieces or art for someone, Or whatever. It's certainly a big change, but I think the OP should do it. The realistic possibilities are just too good to pass up in my opinion.
I am waiting for someone to call me back regarding Obama care in New Mexico.
I found them very easy to work with when we were deciding what options my son would have going to college in Santa Fe. Their rates were really good and the rep I had on the phone and email was very easy to talk to.
I can't see myself being physically able to hold out for 7 more years working on the deli counter at Wholefoods, though right now I've been feeling pretty great. However, I just sat on my butt and drove a total of 5,000 miles. Not standing on a concrete floor eight hours a day has done wonders for me :)
But the flip side is that when one is doing what they love retirement becomes a much less urgent goal.
True... as much as I sometimes complain about the overload of my freelance work as a market researcher, if I could slow down a bit, this is a great retirement part time job--hopefully my clients will hang on. Maybe I'll be the Andy Rooney of market researchers :)
Speaking of which, many creatives have very long life spans, if you notice.
Another vote to go for it.
I haven't read the whole thread, so I'll just say this: it's possible you need a change but that this specific one is not exactly the one you need. There do seem to be some legitimate red flags in the New Mexico situation.
If you haven't read Wishcraft by Barbara Sher, I'd recommend it. She really gets you to think about following your dreams in a very practical grounded way.
Teacher Terry
6-27-16, 7:42pm
I never thought I wold work after i retired but then a chance to do something new (teach a college class online) fell into my lap and 4 years later have no plans to give it up.
I agree with doing something you love and then not wanting to fully retire. After all we are supposed to be in good health much longer so a 65 retirement may not be needed as much. I am 50 this year and always looking to develop things so at 65 I can do work like grant writing more part time, or just keep going!
Yeah--that "supposed to be in good health much longer" is the ruse they used to delay SS for so many. I haven't seen any proof of it, though.
Agree with much of what has been said previously.
A few more thoughts below. And this is kind of choppy thoughts. Have been considering a lot of aspects separately and together, so the considerations aren’t flowing smoothly down any one path.
You are considering this choice as if there were only two options. There are 100s of other options and jobs. Just to highlight the false dichotomy,(if anyone happens to be eating while reading this, please stop and come back after your meal is finished) suppose you were in a restaurant and the waiter said we have two menu choices tonight. The first is a beef soup from locally sourced beef, with local carrots and onions, and other vegetables from within the state. It also has rat poop in it. The second choice is a chicken vegetable soup with 50% locally sourced vegetables and dog poop. Which would you like?
Over the last several years, a number of friends of a variety of ages have been in situations similar to what you describe. After careful deliberation a number of them have jumped out of the frying pan and into the Shangri La job only to discover that the Shangri La garden was mostly an illusion in a shallow net hanging off a cliff. After a few months they broke through the net off the cliff and crashed at the bottom. The recoveries and attempts to recover and find a new job paying even half of what they had generally ate through their savings and often much of their retirement savings. There were a mix of causes here: marginally skilled business owners, purposefully deceitful business owners, the particular business being hit by various aspects of the recession, something odd and unexpected hitting that particular industry, another business buying the business and consolidating/closing/grossly altering the culture. In most of the cases the majority of people being asked to be sounding boards regarding the job change thought the person was taking a well-considered risk that had even or better odds of working out as planned. Watching them suffer has been very painful for all their friends and relatives. And after losing their jobs they did have time to do some of the other things they had been wanting to do, but then didn’t have the money to do them or had to spend most of their time job hunting.
On the plus side, one who took a chance on a business that had a 30-40% chance of success has been successful and currently also gets to do some other things they enjoy in their time off. However they do have a new spouse and rarely see their kids.
And two who went into businesses that have an 80+% success rate have succeeded and are in good shape. They don’t have much free time or life balance though.
If this were a good gallery job, there would be a 100 or more people in the area clamoring to have it, and the owners would have their pick of local skilled people. I have no doubt that you would be good at this job, and would enjoy parts of it, but mostly it just looks like you will be being used by the owners to marginally survive for three years as a place holder for their benefit assuming the business survives. The job could be considered a bit more suitable if you were retired, financially ok, owned your house and could work it as a hobby, perhaps to make connections to do custom art pieces and meeting interesting tourists.
Recently a group of doctors was ready to buy a medical practice and after considerable searching and research bought one on the other side of the country. The selling doctor quickly skipped out of state and moved to the other side of the country. Before long they discovered that the information about the business had been largely faked and the patients had received substandard care. The doctors in the area were aware that things were not good(though not how pervasive the problem was), so no one in the region would buy the practice. The new doctors may wind up bankrupt due to this. In the meanwhile they are trying to repair the damage done by the previous doctor to aid their patients.
The living conditions are unsafe and unhealthy and would be even more so if you tried to do metalwork that close to food prep/consumption. It also doesn’t sound like it is a legal apartment.
The health care situation is currently an expensive mess. It may worsen or disappear in 2017 depending on who wins the election.
Given how things have gone in recent years and your age, I think disability insurance is also a must.
There may be some sort of collective for artists that provides health and disability insurance in the Madrid area. If you qualify for that, you may be able to insure yourself that way.
The working conditions may be risky as well. You will be a single female with no coworkers and no family to notice if something goes wrong. If there is good off premises video security monitoring and a number of panic buttons this may help, or it may just make it easier once the harm has occurred to arrest the perpetrator.
Also, it’s never good to live where you work(except maybe due to necessity if you live in the White House). You usually get a marginal/bad boss and a bad landlord. If you can’t stand the job anymore, you are homeless. If you lose your job you are homeless. If the company goes out of business you are homeless. You can’t press them very well to fix the substandard housing, because it might cost you your job. The business controls all your home life and work life.
If you take this job, can you still sell your work in other areas around the country? It’s good to have your work in several different regions and to have your eggs in multiple baskets.
Even if you own the business/home, in retail people will often be hounding you to open up to sell them something. Even if you don’t open up the noise may continue.
If you live in a retail district, check to see it there are any restaurants/bars that stay open past 9 pm. If so there will be loud groups of partiers passing by till 30+ minutes after closing. Also check when the landscaping crew comes through to water and what time the trash pickup is. Three am is fairly common under these circumstances to accommodate trash from bars that close down at 2 and water trucks for the landscaping when there is no tourist traffic.
That said, I do think you deserve a job that does not damage your health or put you at financial risk. Wholefoods is very hard on your health and the gallery job would negatively affect both.
I don’t think where you live will have much impact on your daughter’s behavior. You can visit and talk with her via the phone or computer. For your mom, you could set things up so that you can help her by phone if needed. It would be good to teach your mom how to do face to face calls via computer or phone if you do move away. Your income will be so low that I don’t think you will be able to visit them for crises or for vacation.
I would also be more willing to vote for you to go for it if you were in your 20s as you would have lots more time to compensate for things going south.
Also, it concerns me that you have no real back up if things go wrong. There are no relatives to help in any way no matter where you are. You have friends who can help you where you are now. After a few years you could potentially have built up friendships to help with more serious things in a new place. And usually you can make friends fairly quickly for minor helps such as I am getting over the flu and need more crackers and gingerale.
Going out there to the gallery job almost seems like going on a camping trip with only your purse and no other gear and without a deep repertoire of primitive technology skills, and without any knowledgeable companions . It would be both an interesting adventure and a disaster.
Several months ago over on the MMM forums, our old friend fidgiegirl posted about an exercise she had learned about in an online workshop that I found REALLY helpful in making some key decisions over the past year.
Imagine there are two circles drawn on the floor in front of you. One circle represents Choice A (which in this case i would say was the stay in Michigan option) and one circle represents Choice B (move to NM). Step into each circle and stand there for awhile. See how it makes you feel to stand in that situation. What is your intuition telling you? Which option feels like the right choice?
It is a bit woo woo, but it really worked for me! Allowed me to cut through a lot of mental clutter and realize what the right choice was. I haven't regretted the path I chose. I don't think you will, either.
Oh my....I talked to the gallery owner last night and I told him I would take the position and was real excited and relieved, but upon awakening this morning I'm already starting to have cold feet about the whole thing and my nerves are fraying. And then I just read what Amaranth wrote, which is all perfectly valid concerns. I can still back out of it, as I haven't given notice at my Wholefoods job or where I live yet. I was going to give myself a few days to see how I really feel before I did anything to start the ball rolling.
As for 100 people lined up in the area clamoring for the job, the job was never posted anywhere because the guy who currently runs the gallery recommended me to the owners as a person he trusted to take over (he's been running the gallery for the owners for the last 10 years). No one in town even knows that he is leaving yet, as it has all been under wraps while they let me decide.
As far as noise and such after hours, Madrid is a tiny town with one main drag that pretty much closes up when the galleries close (except for the two bar/restaurants which are at the other end of town from the gallery). It is so tiny that one of my concerns is will I feel too isolated? I do know people there, as I have been going there every summer for the last four years but it would take some time to integrate into the community. I realize it's far different to visit and leave vs. being there all the time.
And I have thought about how this would be a great opportunity if only it came about six or seven years down the road when I am closer to retirement age when I could have maybe more choices financially, such as being able to purchase property there and set up my own house/studio.
And I don't know how working at Wholefoods is going to be going forward - last year could have been an anomaly being that I was recovering from the broken big toe and returning to work just as the holiday season was starting. Maybe this year will be different and I'll feel pretty good going forward. I feel good now, but I haven't been at work for almost a month because I was busy being a gypsy!
Yeah, Amaranth just brought up a lot of points regarding the worst-case scenario, and now I am freaking out...I am not going to do anything permanent today, just sit with this and see how it feels. I have to go back to work tomorrow after being off for almost a month so I'll be occupied - I need to be occupied with something because this whole thing is starting to drive me crazy!!!!!!!!
It is not too late for me to back out of it, I would have to tell them for sure by the 30th so they can go with whatever their contingency plan is.
Amaranth, your thoughts should be tacked somewhere for consideration when this type of post come up again, as it will. We are all searching/exploring for new options in our lives.
Lots of good info in this thread.
Ultralight
6-28-16, 7:59am
Oh my....I talked to the gallery owner last night and I told him I would take the position and was real excited and relieved, but upon awakening this morning I'm already starting to have cold feet about the whole thing and my nerves are fraying. And then I just read what Amaranth wrote, which is all perfectly valid concerns. I can still back out of it, as I haven't given notice at my Wholefoods job or where I live yet. I was going to give myself a few days to see how I really feel before I did anything to start the ball rolling.
As for 100 people lined up in the area clamoring for the job, the job was never posted anywhere because the guy who currently runs the gallery recommended me to the owners as a person he trusted to take over (he's been running the gallery for the owners for the last 10 years). No one in town even knows that he is leaving yet, as it has all been under wraps while they let me decide.
As far as noise and such after hours, Madrid is a tiny town with one main drag that pretty much closes up when the galleries close (except for the two bar/restaurants which are at the other end of town from the gallery). It is so tiny that one of my concerns is will I feel too isolated? I do know people there, as I have been going there every summer for the last four years but it would take some time to integrate into the community. I realize it's far different to visit and leave vs. being there all the time.
And I have thought about how this would be a great opportunity if only it came about six or seven years down the road when I am closer to retirement age when I could have maybe more choices financially, such as being able to purchase property there and set up my own house/studio.
And I don't know how working at Wholefoods is going to be going forward - last year could have been an anomaly being that I was recovering from the broken big toe and returning to work just as the holiday season was starting. Maybe this year will be different and I'll feel pretty good going forward. I feel good now, but I haven't been at work for almost a month because I was busy being a gypsy!
Yeah, Amaranth just brought up a lot of points regarding the worst-case scenario, and now I am freaking out...I am not going to do anything permanent today, just sit with this and see how it feels. I have to go back to work tomorrow after being off for almost a month so I'll be occupied - I need to be occupied with something because this whole thing is starting to drive me crazy!!!!!!!!
It is not too late for me to back out of it, I would have to tell them for sure by the 30th so they can go with whatever their contingency plan is.
Backing out of this is equivalent to backing out of life -- of your life and of living it.
Backing out of this is equivalent to backing out of life -- of your life and of living it.
It's easy for us to sit on the sidelines, but the OP is the one at bat, so to speak. Prodding her with our vicarious fantasies is tempting, but not wise. We have all presented pros and cons, and I think we're all wanting to support what's best for her, which only she knows. I also think Amaranth had great counterpoints to our enthusiasm for her to jump, so now it's time for SiouzQ to weigh everything and discern the answer in her soul.
Chicken lady
6-28-16, 8:10am
The person who is leaving -
why are they leaving?
do they like you (was this recommendation to help you or yo help the gallery owners?
do you trust them?
discuss amaranth's concerns with them.
also, what if you got a scholarship to go to a small art school - room and board and studio space. Would you take it? This seems similar - a few years of experience and a chance to make connections and learn and grow as an artist while never forgetting that it is short term and you need to make it a path to another job.
how hard would it be to get another whole foods type job at similar pay if this didn't work out?
For me, the important issue is that your house and life are wound around these two gallery owners. If there is a death, illness, change of heart on their part, do you or will you have the resources (knowledge, friends and money) to pick up and go at any time and restart your life? Madrid is pretty small according to your description and there may not be any fall back in that location.
However, this comes from someone who picked up and left Alaska where I was raised when we decided hubby needed a new job. Got one while on a vacation (were not looking for a new job while there) and I had never lived in Indiana. Moved down in 30 days. But there were two of us with two jobs. I still cannot believe that we did that.
Ultralight
6-28-16, 8:45am
It's easy for us to sit on the sidelines, but the OP is the one at bat, so to speak. Prodding her with our vicarious fantasies is tempting, but not wise. We have all presented pros and cons, and I think we're all wanting to support what's best for her, which only she knows. I also think Amaranth had great counterpoints to our enthusiasm for her to jump, so now it's time for SiouzQ to weigh everything and discern the answer in her soul.
Uh... I don't like having to be the one to tell you this, but she posted on here for thoughts and opinions.
Thank you, Catherine. This whole thing is basically a fantasy with the possibility of it becoming true, or it could be a real nightmare in reality. How does one choose when you can't see into the future? It IS a huge risk, but it could also be just the thing I need to do to get on with my life. I'll never know if I don't try, but the perils of it not being cracked up to be what I've fantasized about are very real, and would be quite stressful to have to remedy after the fact. But does that mean no one should ever take a risk and do anything different? There is no right answer here, I guess it boils down to my tolerance for risk-taking, which has sorely waned in the last twenty years...the easier course obviously would be to stay put and continue on doing what I have been doing for the last four years. It really was only this past year that I had such a hard time. Maybe I just need to do a major attitude adjustment so i can keep on keeping on...I'm just so bored in my life as it is now though. When I go out west and travel around I feel so alive and free, like who I was meant to be. I need to translate that into my daily life of responsibility somehow.
I am going to call the owner with more questions later. I want to get a more firm handle on his vision of the gallery's timeline going into the future. I need to know how realistic their three to five year plan is. I don't want to upend my life for a commitment of less than three years, and even so, thinking about having to get another job at age 58 doesn't feel appealing at all. If I manage to stay at Wholefoods that long I would probably be making around $14.75 per hour. I could continue to do the house mate gig every school year and keep socking that money away into my IRA like I've been doing. Of course this route would be the safe, cautious and mature way to go into retirement, but dammit, this offer appeals to all my fantasies of being free from he constrains of "normal" life!!!!!!!
Uh... I don't like having to be the one to tell you this, but she posted on here for thoughts and opinions.
I was reacting to your (and others' including mine) just shouting "Jump!" as if she were on the high diving board and we're all on the pool deck. Asking for thoughts and opinions when there are lot of considerations to make usually means helping people arrive at their own conclusions. When I present reports to pharma companies, I don't say, "Just launch the product!" I present what I've learned from the research and then they go off and decide for themselves.
Love the "busy being a gyspy" line. :)
When I left my career, I had a LOT of anxiety. I meditated and did yoga daily. It helped. Work through it to your true feelings. You've got this!!!
SiouzQ - the impression that I've gotten from your posts for quite some time is that you really only feel happy when you are about to go on your annual trip and during the trip itself, so maybe 1-2 months a year? You deserve more happiness than that. This new opportunity does present some risks, but so does staying the course you're currently on.
There is always a choice and then another. There is always a way out or something different to try. No situation needs to be forever.
Of course this will feel scary as hell because it's so different from what you are currently doing.
Also there is no "right choice". Only choices. We only analyze right and wrong in hindsight.
I think it's awesome that you will be working at a gallery that sells your own work. If someone comments on your pieces you can tell them that you are the artist.
What about doing some of your work in the gallery itself? People are interested in that kind of thing and it proves that it's actually handmade by an artisan in the USA. When I'm traveling or looking to purchase that type of niche product I don't want to accidentally buy things made in some Asian factory with horrible working conditions, that has been sneakily packaged to appear not to be so.
My main concern was the lack of sink and separate workspace. Everything else seems reasonable.
are the owners willing to install a sink?
It is hard to say, from the gallery, what would be best for the OP. But I'm pretty sure plugging away at a hated job, too tired to have any social life, too tired or depressed to pursue the art and music she loves is not a satisfactory solution. "Making a dying" is applicable here.
I'm impressed that the current guy was there 10 years. Can he tell you more about the hardest things about living/working there? Was he always paid on time? Owners accepting of new ideas/easy to work with?
Ultralight
6-28-16, 10:52am
"Making a dying" is applicable here.
Excellent point.
I just had a long talk with my good friend who is really quite a good "guru" about these life-transforming opportunities, and she has gotten me to calm down quite a bit. She pointed out that all this angst coming up is way more than just about moving itself; it's about my upbringing and certain family and internal beliefs, letting go of my daughter even more, letting go of a lot of assumptions I have created for myself, and really, the whole nine yards. And of course it is going to bring up some really intense feelings, and I am someone who is very used to burying feelings because I needed to as a single mom just trying to hold it all together all those years. As the parent of a drug abuser I HAD to stuff my feelings in order to survive on a day-to-day basis. I am not used to having such strong feelings and reactions to things, so it's really scary!
It seems like I will have a lot of emotional stuff that I am going to be working through, in addition to all the physical stuff regarding changing jobs and moving. It is very overwhelming and hard, but now I am excited again. I don't really know how to proceed today, but I did get to talk to someone from Obamacare in New Mexico to get a general idea of the cost - he recommended the Silver Plan, which would be between $100-200 per month. He will e-mail me more details as well.
So, just for today, I am still going to sit tight and not announce anything to work or the townhouse association. I want to sit with it for a little while longer, maybe another day or two and keep working through all my fears as they come up. On a practical note, it may be a good day to pull some stuff out from the corner of my closet that I have been avoiding de-cluttering fro the last 20 years, as it will actually be the hardest to go through - it's just old artwork and stuff that I really have had no idea what to do with all this time, so I haven't done anything. For some reason this pile is harder than everything else in my house. Maybe if I tackle it first, the rest will come easier.
The guy who has worked there for ten years has loved it there, and loved the town - he is only leaving because his partner is taking a job in Florida. he is having an equally hard time on his end making the decision to leave there! He also has nothing but good to say about the owners - there are some cool perks that go with the job, one being free plane tickets at times (the wife is a banker in New York and flies a lot so she has lots of frequent flier miles).
As far as the physical space - I told them that I needed a small stove/oven put back in, a larger refrigerator (not necessarily full-size, but bigger than a dorm room model), and they are looking into get a kitchen sink reinstalled (there used to be a kitchen in the middle room that got taken out at some point). Maybe I can put up some kind of curtain or screen to separate my work area from the kitchen area. He also told me he was not adverse to letting me have a work table out in the gallery space so people could see what I am working on! There is also a fenced in patio just off the bedroom that has a lot of potential - I could make a pretty garden space and set up a soldering bench/work table in the warmer months.
Ultralight
6-28-16, 11:18am
As the parent of a drug abuser I HAD to stuff my feelings in order to survive on a day-to-day basis.
Is this ongoing? And if so, how ongoing?
Is this ongoing? And if so, how ongoing?
She has told us about this in earlier posts and at the beginning of this one. Can't we please just focus on what SiouxQ needs? She knows what she is doing, has done and can do for her other commitments.
Ultralight
6-28-16, 12:33pm
She has told us about this in earlier posts and at the beginning of this one. Can't we please just focus on what SiouxQ needs? She knows what she is doing, has done and can do for her other commitments.
1. Sorry, kind of a long thread. I missed that.
2. My point is that if it is ongoing -- or rather even if it is ongoing -- that might be more reason for her to finally, really, seriously make a move on this for herself.
sweetana3
6-28-16, 12:35pm
Another valid point here is the cost of actually living there could be kept at a very minimal and simple level. Small living quarters = few but special possessions. No room to buy and store more. Easier to change a life. I love the idea of a worktable in the gallery. As a shopper/looker, this would be very interesting and maybe cause me to stop and look and ask questions. Live, work, create.
ps a portable induction burner is a very safe stove top for a small space. When the pan is not on it, it is not hot. Heats water to boiling very quickly because the heat is transferred instantly. We used on in a commercial bakery and loved it. Takes up on a small footprint.
Teacher Terry
6-28-16, 12:37pm
It sounds like your friend is right and making big changes are always hard and especially more so because of your Mom and daughter. But at some point you have to do what is best for you. The other thing is physically you may not be able to work at Whole Foods until you retire. There is no way to predict what will happen in the future. If you can take a month driving trip by yourself you certainly can handle this new adventure.
I accepted the job in Arizona while on vacation. The next day was my sisters wedding. The next day I traveled back to Ohio. The next day the anxiety began. It continued over the month that I took to wrap up life in Ohio, it continued for the first few months in Arizona.
How you feel is very normal. I was 48 when I made this bag change. New city. New state. New job. New apartment. All family and friends 2000 miles away. First time in 27 years that I didn't have a child living with us.
I told my husband that he was the only thing that stayed the same!
It was hard but it was great. So glad I did it.
Teacher Terry
6-28-16, 12:43pm
Yes i was anxious too when I made my big move. It is normal.
The previous list of concerns:
Just as an FYI, that wasn’t a list of worst case scenarios, just a compilation of common outcomes in this type situation. It’s less likely that you will experience the worst case scenarios and those rarely occur as a result of choosing one choice or the other. So I didn’t bring those up. Only a few of my friends/acquaintances have experienced the worst case scenarios.
Am more concerned about no safety nets and no exit plan since this is a very short lived job.
Saw that the owners are willing to improve the kitchen situation in the apartment.
Could work/food situation be made safer by running some sort of industrial aircleaner after doing the metal working and before cooking?
Here are the additional questions I would have for the owners:
What if they both die unexpectedly--can they set things up so that you become the owner of the business (or maybe you and the current manager)?
What if one of them becomes disabled and they need to sell the business because they can’t go forward with their plan to run it after retirement?
(or one dies and the other is disabled?, etc)
Where do they plan to live when they move to Madrid? Would they be willing to buy the place now or commit to getting it within the year when something good becomes available and let you live in it and caretake it now?
Calming your thinking:
To calm your thinking, make a list of the pros and cons of each choice and also a list of your fears. Look at the balance of pros and cons and the weighted pros and cons according to how you value them. Look at each of your fears. How likely is each one really? What can you do to minimize the risk of that fear coming to pass? If that fear does occur, what would you do next? And if the worst case scenario does occur how would you respond to that? For example if I lost my job and apartment and ran out of places to couch surf, would I rather live in a homeless shelter in Michigan or Santa Fe? ;)
Imagining a week in Madrid:
In addition to the circle situation suggested, imagine yourself going through each day of a regular week as the gallery manager. What about your work/living situations facilitates or derails it?
Monday: Up/dress, breakfast, hour walk with another shop worker in the local state park, shower/dress, short commute to work, dust displays, clean public bathroom, sell things, put out more things to replace sold items, eat lunch over an hour and a half between customers, give info to tourists on good places to eat lunch, sell more things, put out more things, log sold items into artist’s payment paperwork/computer, sell more things, have some interesting conversations with tourists, put out more things, jot down some art ideas in pocket notebook, unpack and log in UPS shipments, order more art supplies for self, close shop, finish day’s paperwork, think about meeting friends for dinner and realize not enough money for that many times during the week, think about having friend over for dinner and realize no place to do it, make dinner, eat dinner while reading a book, clean up from dinner, half an hour of housework. Drive to studio space and work for hour. Back to apartment and sleep.
Tuesday: Same as Monday. Put out week’s trash and recycle.
Wednesday; (day off) Up/dress, breakfast, meet up with hiking and outing group for morning hike and picnic lunch, shower, drive to studio and work on art until late afternoon. Load finished items in car to bring to shop. Go to community garden plot to weed, water, and harvest. Home. Shower. Meet friends at restaurant for dinner. Home. Half an hour of housework. Draw ideas for future artwork. Sleep.
Thursday: (day off) Up/shower/dress. Breakfast. Meet local artist group at coffee shop for monthly artist meeting. Go to Albuquerque or Santa Fe for errands: Take cooler, Laundromat, visit museum exhibit, get gas, get nonfood items, get food items. Drive back. Unload. Dinner and book. Cleanup and 30 minutes of housework. Bills and personal paperwork. Computer visit with daughter. Computer visit with Mom. Sleep.
Friday: same as for Monday, plus unpack and display new items made by self. Go to adjacent shop and pick up UPS deliveries for gallery left there on Wednesday and Thursday when you were closed. After dinner meet friends at restaurant with live music for a drink. Avoid alcohol or caffeine due to Saturday being a workday. Leave before it gets too late since most of group works on Saturday. Walk home with group for safety.
Saturday: Same as Monday. Work in community garden plot in morning instead of hike. Go over to friend’s house for cookout for dinner.
Sunday: Same as Monday plus local part time artists bring in what they have made during the week to restock.
Also think about some of the monthly or annual events such as meetings, or the three weeks all the shops stay open late for holiday shopping. Don’t know if you have ever been there at the right time for this, but the town has a Gypsy festival. :)
Possible Best of Both Worlds solution:
Have been trying to think of a solution that would give you a lot of what you want while minimizing the risks.
Have discovered that there are two Whole Foods in Albuquerque and one in Santa Fe.
If you transferred to one of those, you could be on a safer financial path and not lose the seniority you had built up. You could get a similar housing situation where you could have a roommate much of the year for extra money. You would be in your preferred location and could go hiking locally on your days off. Both of those places have deep networks of artists. You could meet people at work, in the artist community, and in the outdoor community.
You could continue to make your art part time and in the case of the Madrid gallery deliver it in person. :cool:
OR maybe you could take the Madrid gallery job and work two days a month at one of the nearby Whole Foods. Say one of your days off every other week.
mschrisgo2
6-28-16, 1:52pm
The problem, as I see it, with making lists of pros and cons and weighing and measuring everything, is that it leaves out the messages from the heart, the sweet whispering of the soul, the essence of the Artist.
Gardenarian
6-28-16, 2:09pm
Working at Whole Foods seems to be wreaking havoc on your health.
Consider the enormous risk you are taking if you stay.
Amaranth, you are kind of freaking me out. Do you live in that actual area, or have visited there often?
I am actually looking forward to getting back to work tomorrow if only to GET OUT OF MY OWN HEAD regarding this. It is starting to make me feel ill with anxiety...
SiouzQ, if you get all Amaranth's questions answered in your own mind to your satisfaction, you will feel so much more at peace with knowing that so many points are covered.
I can relate to your feelings as I sold my farm after 23 years and tried to decide what to do next. The more challenging the questions that got answered, the more I knew what I was choosing was right for me.
Don't let yourself get freaked out, see it as part of the wonderful adventure.
Hugs, my dear! It will be OK what ever you choose because it will be right for you at this time.
Ultralight
6-28-16, 3:36pm
Amaranth, you are kind of freaking me out.
Don't let anyone crush your groove.
The problem, as I see it, with making lists of pros and cons and weighing and measuring everything, is that it leaves out the messages from the heart, the sweet whispering of the soul, the essence of the Artist.
You nailed it. I've done the pros and cons list--the only thing it did for me was make me feel like an accountant. After a few "logical" mistakes, I always go with my heart. (YMMV, as always.)
Many questions can't be answered ahead of time. That's part of the definition of risk.
Is taking your daughter with you an option?
I have always been very impressed that you have no qualms about getting in your car and traveling solo across the country, camping etc. That fearlessness should serve you well if you decide to go with your heart.
Well, apparently I am a weenie when it comes to change. It has been a very difficult day full of tears, panic, anxiety, more tears, back-peddling on my decision (to the cat). I've been coached twice today by my friend (god bless her), called an old therapist on the phone again (while she's on vacation), cried, took walks, cried some more, went hiking, felt sick, etc. I had no idea what sort of emotions were going to be triggered by this decision...it's kind of freaking me out. I haven't done anything more officially, I need to see how work goes tomorrow and if I have calmed down more. Right now I really feel like calling the whole thing off....but I am going to wait another day to see how my mind and body are reacting.
It's obvious that it's not JUST about moving, it has triggered all sorts of things buried in my psyche.
rosarugosa
6-28-16, 7:43pm
SiouzQ: There is a lot of good input here, so instead of rehashing what has already been said, I'll make my one original contribution to the conversation.
Your jewelry is amazing! It actually makes me sad that you spend so much of your time doing work that many others could do at WF, rather than making your incredible, beautiful wonderful jewelry that only you can make. I go to at least a couple of craft fair type events a year, and I've never seen anything like your creations, and although a lot of artisans make jewelry, virtually nothing I see is in your league. If you take this position, I would hope it could be a stepping-stone to eventually making a living from your jewelry. If you stay at WF, I hope you will eventually be able to one day do the same.
Good luck with whatever you decide!
PS: Just saw your last post, and I have to say that this is an incredibly stressful decision, and I think your reaction is perfectly normal. I'm very risk-adverse myself.
When I made a decision to move to Seattle, it was kind of spur of the moment, but I had been thinking about it for some time and the opportunity (to take a transfer) presented itself, so I jumped, sold the condo, loaded up my VW, said goodbye to my SO, and hit the road. Every time I look out my window or drive out my driveway into the beauty that abounds around here, I'm thankful. The downside is that since I've been here, I've withdrawn into a comfortable cocoon and gone dormant. So outcomes can be unpredictable, but you'll never know what adventures await if you don't move forward in some way.
Even if it doesn't turn out as you expected I think you'll regret it if you don't give it a chance. This is a major change so I think the reaction you're having is normal.
catherine
6-29-16, 11:04am
Interesting thing happened a half hour ago. I got a text from someone I met at a coop potluck a month ago. We texted each other at the end of the night so we'd have each other's phone numbers, but we haven't been in touch since.
So I got a text message this morning and thought of this thread. Weird thing is, I really think she sent me this by mistake:
http://i885.photobucket.com/albums/ac56/cmboyd/IMG_3204_zpsefeu0e2u.jpg
Oh Catherine, that text is PERFECT for my situation! I am so happy to report that after completely falling apart yesterday to the point that I was pretty much incapacitated, I woke up at 4am and couldn't go back to sleep and was at work by 6am for the first time in over a month, and I feel pretty great today. I guess I had to get that out of my system. I've been living with this knowledge in my head ever since I found out about the offer on June 8 and it colored all my thinking and feeling on the entire trip, and then to get home and feel the full force of the reality of it was just too much for me to keep stuffing down. So out in came in all sorts of ways, and I lived through it!
I had a great day at work (I haven't told them yet, as I am going to give it one more day), and I came home and just started sorting and tossing stuff, starting in my studio. It feels good, and I am being merciless...
Ultralight
6-29-16, 5:30pm
It feels good...
:)
"When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it." Paulo Coelho in The Alchemist
So excited for you! I (and I'm sure many others here) will be keeping my fingers crossed that all goes according to plan and it works out well!
For what it's worth I took a virtual drive around the town on google maps. It certainly looks cute.
freshstart
6-30-16, 11:19am
I would give Whole Foods as much notice as possible and leave on a good note, give a positive exit interview so that they can be a realistic back up plan should things go south. If they ask why you are leaving, you don't have to tell them you have your dream job, just say you have to move and the new town doesn't have a Whole Foods. I would also ask some people there to write you letters of recommendation so you have those if you ever decide to go back. Go for your dream but have a fairly guaranteed back up plan.
So excited for you! I (and I'm sure many others here) will be keeping my fingers crossed that all goes according to plan and it works out well!
For what it's worth I took a virtual drive around the town on google maps. It certainly looks cute.
I did that too. It's a fun eclectic little spot in the road on the Turquoise Trail. We usually take that road going from Santa Fe to Albuquerque. It's longer than the highway but fun places to stop and a beautiful drive. There are some people living there in tiny houses, in shipping containers, all sorts of patched together old/new adobe/stone/wood structures. I've never stayed long enough to actually eat anyplace there and I've heard the water is not very tasty. You might want to invest in a Berkey countertop filter system, SiouzQ.
I already know all about the water! I decided that I would probably get some sort of smallish water cooler thingy eventually. And yes, there is all sorts of alternative living going on out there that is fascinating. I stayed on the land of a fellow artist who I met there four years ago when I was just driving through (that was the year the gallery decided to take my jewelry after I just landed on their doorstep one day). Anyway, she has 10 acres that is two miles of Highway 14 on the worst road I have ever driven on and she lives and paints in a series of yurts and has a budding AirBnb thing going with two old school buses fitted out into little bedrooms.
So, yeah, what a difference a couple of days has made! After I had my mini breakdown, I woke up feeling so much better and decided to throw all caution to the wind and GO FOR IT! I spoke with the gallery owner to firm up all the plans and I will be arriving on August 15th with a 4x8 cargo trailer that will hold all my worldly possessions - tools, metals, stones, two folding work tables, a work chair, a bookshelf, 3 guitars, an amp, minimal deocrative and kitchen stuff, my bedding, my camping equipment...anything else I need I can get in Sante Fe easily enough.
My cat will go back to my ex-MIL, which is where she stays anyway when I go traveling. That alone has provided a ton of relief. As much as I love this little kitty that was foisted on me four years in an emergency, I can't imagine dragging her halfway across the country in a car in the summer. Just not going to do it; I am so grateful she offered to take her!
I have reserved the U-Haul trailer, I spoke to my team leaders today to give them a head's up - it's all cool with work, people come and go there all the time. I know I can get a glowing recommendation from them if needed, and they would take me back in a heartbeat if needed. Tomorrow I will give official notice to the coop townhouse office and start that ball rolling with exiting this place. I will be making an appointment at the consignment shop in town to drop off some of the better antique furniture for resale. My daughter will have first pick of anything she would like, and then I will invite my friends to a moving sale in which they can choose what they want and just give me any sort of donation towards my moving expenses. I have about six weeks to pull it all together.
I am relieved that that crazy storm of emotions has passed, and excited to just get on with it!
freshstart
6-30-16, 7:26pm
Wonderful!!! Glad the angst has passed and you are moving on.
I am very happy for you and glad you are going for it. You will have a supportive audience here always curious to see how things go. I wish I could find homes for my pets when we leave. It is really the only thing giving me the willies- driving across the country with three animals is not going to be fun for any of us.
Ultralight
6-30-16, 7:46pm
You taking this opportunity is sheer bad assery! :)
I'm so excited for you. Especially about getting away from the Whole Foods job, but all of it is thrilling.
Teacher Terry
6-30-16, 8:19pm
so glad it is all coming together. YOu have a long time to get ready to go so it should be fine. PT: We travel all the time across the country with 1 big dog and 3 little ones so it will be fine. They just want to be with you.
iris lilies
6-30-16, 8:38pm
... I wish I could find homes for my pets when we leave. It is really the only thing giving me the willies- driving across the country with three animals is not going to be fun for any of us.
Gives you the willies? Why ever? How many miles are you traveling, how many overnight stays?
i did a 1100 mile house move years ago with two cats. Make the pets the priority. Priorities in order are:
The humans
the pets
financial and personal records
gear cor humans and pets to last through the drive
The rest of it comes with the u-haul or the mover or however the household goods are moves.
http://static1.squarespace.com/static/529f398ee4b0ee6848fe2724/55cb9e85e4b0a13f76699b0a/57734d67d2b8570c39fbf26f/1467174248608/carpe+damn+diem.jpg?format=300w
I have done a couple big moves, I think you are planning on this but I recommend that you pack your own stuff! Movers are weird about how they pack things, I only had one time that other people packed for me. Also have a basic inventory of what you are moving so that if anything gets damaged you can have insurance cover it. The rental truck company should have some insurance options if your regular car insurance doesn't cover it. I pack one or two boxes that are open first, including kitchen stuff and a shower curtain ( and I think one adult 'lovey' ).
So much to do! Sounds like you have a great plan to be ready for this transition.
she lives and paints in a series of yurts and has a budding AirBnb thing going with two old school buses fitted out into little bedrooms.
I remember seeing her listing on AirBnb. Considered it last time but ended up in a wonderful little Casita towards the top Canyon Rd (well, right where Canyon takes a sharp left and goes out to the Audubon property). Thought her place sounded like a fun experience but the big hottub, closeness to town and St Johns College won out.
I'm so excited for you! Living the dream!
A permanent arts retreat, at last! Move over, Georgia O'Keefe!
'
Also, regarding insurance, check with your homeowners insurance agent. You may have, or be able to get, off premises coverage for your personal property that would would cover damage or theft while you are en route.
This is so exciting and interesting to get a chance to share with you. Go girl!
Yeeha, I just took the first trunk load of STUFF to Salvation Army! Man, it feels SO good to purge all these little weird odds 'n ends that clutter up space when you've have more space than you really need. Much of it I probably got while thrifting anyway, so from whence it came. I'm completing the circle.
I have about five weeks to get myself ready for this move, so right now I am rampaging through the easy stuff to get rid of. The hard part will be all my old artwork, and hundreds of photos and other memorabilia. I need to find a corner in someone's basement to stash the artwork I want to keep but can't take with me for the next few years. We'll see how that part of the de-cluttering journey goes...
My entire life will be reduced to what will fit in a Honda Accord and a 4x8ft cargo trailer. I plotted out the dimensions using masking tape on the floor of my extra bedroom so I can visualize how much space I will have. I am being merciless when it comes to much of my things!
I plotted out the dimensions using masking tape on the floor of my extra bedroom so I can visualize how much space I will have.
That's smart. I always meant to do that, and it never happened. Though my last move was plane/mail, not U-Haul so it ended up not mattering.
So excited for you that you are making it real.
Congratulations! It sounds like a terrific opportunity, and it's good to see someone not cowed by the comfort of the status quo.
Simplemind
7-2-16, 11:33pm
I am so proud of you. My hero you are!
Have you always resided in Michigan? What a change from the Mitten.
Not always, born and breed here but moved to Richmond, VA in the mid '80's for a few years for graduate school, and then to Iowa City, in the early '90's for two years, followed a very brief stint in the UP. But I've been in southeastern lower MI for the last 24 years. I love it because it's home but I also have been feeling quite stifled and stuck here for a long time.
SiouzQ, saw in one of the threads that there was a chance your dishes might not fit in the moving vehicle. If so with all the incredible pottery in New Mexico, I bet you can find some new very artful dishes!
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