View Full Version : video gaming
My 23 year old son works and plays video games. Last night I asked why he doesn't want to have friends or a girlfriend. We have had these kind of conversations before or I should say I have he doesn't respond. I'm feeling bad about my approach or maybe I should just leave it alone. I just don't know.
Could he be addicted to video games?
Does he seem happy with his life as it is?
What bothers you about his lifestyle?
Is he a happy and independent adult? If so, then he's doing what he wants to do. If not, then maybe there might be reason for concern. Although at 23, I don't know that there is much you can do about it.
UA and posted the same thing :).
This thread seems like a continuation of the "Oh Mother" one. He's old enough to know what he wants or doesn't want. He undoubtedly has friends/acquaintances among the on line gaming crowd. People even find life partners who share an interest in gaming. If he's content as is, there you go. If not, he may ask for advice at some point. I would step back.
Also, would it make a difference if he was reading books instead of playing video games? I've never been a gamer, but many people get a lot of pleasure from gaming, similar to what many people get from reading, I think.
This thread seems like a continuation of the "Oh Mother" one.
Yea I know. I don't want to be like that.
Video games are often an escape from reality.
But something else to consider is that maybe he has constructed a simple life for himself centering on video games.
As long as he's happy with his life. And he likely has gaming friends.
As long as he's happy with his life. And he likely has gaming friends.
Or the games are his friends.
During lonesome times in my life, books or records were the closest things to friends I had. And they kept me moving.
Could be the case for margene's son, but with video games.
ToomuchStuff
7-8-16, 1:48am
Along the lines of what Geila asked....
Does he live with you or on his own?
It is one thing if he lives with you, and is working and going to school for a degree (games, cheap entertainment, verses going bar hoping with friends, etc). It is another if he is just living with you and playing games all day, and not working. (in that case I would say get a job because you need to have rent money for your new place by x date)
If he is on his own, there could be other reasons (at that age, a lot of guys just want to have fun, whatever they find that to be). In that case, he is an adult that is responsible for himself and you need to shut up. (you wouldn't want him telling you that he thinks you need to do x, unless you ask for advice)
This thread seems like a continuation of the "Oh Mother" one. He's old enough to know what he wants or doesn't want. He undoubtedly has friends/acquaintances among the on line gaming crowd. People even find life partners who share an interest in gaming. If he's content as is, there you go. If not, he may ask for advice at some point. I would step back.
Yep my gamer friend from high school met her husband through the gaming community. They had a real life wedding and one where their characters in WoW got married. Super cute. More games are online and interactive, like this board, I know I have met people IRL from this board after all.
My 23 year old son works and plays video games. Last night I asked why he doesn't want to have friends or a girlfriend. We have had these kind of conversations before or I should say I have he doesn't respond. I'm feeling bad about my approach or maybe I should just leave it alone. I just don't know.
I have a 26 yr old son-in-law who is addicted to WOW. He has a good job and does not seem interested in enlarging his social circle. Spends hours at a time on this game.
Yes he does live with me which is fine because he works and pays me rent. My concern is he doesn't seem interested in doing anything else. Well that's cool Zoe Girl about your friends meeting on the game. He did go from Illinois to Texas to stay with one of his gaming friends last year. He lived and worked with him for a month. So I guess your right the friendships are there.
Yes it is easy to worry about our kids based on how different the world is now. I feel lucky because I used email and other online systems to make and maintain friendships back in the mid-90's so it is pretty familiar to me. Funny story (don't know if I told this one before) my ex and I had 2 computers, because of the way his brain worked to recall things I would send him emails about grocery items or household issues on a regular basis, even when we were both home, he didn't track verbal very well :)
Ultralight
7-11-16, 7:50am
A professor friend of mine has a brother who is a video game addict. He lives at home, barely works -- just enough to afford video game stuff, and has no irl friends, no ambition, and no education. He just plays video games.
My friend thought this was odd. So he did some research. Apparently video game designers design the games to make the pleasure center in your brain light up. So it is addictive kind of like food or gambling.
Yea I think it's an addiction. He doesn't seem to have any interest in doing anything else. Not sure how to help him.
Ultralight
7-11-16, 10:21am
Yea I think it's an addiction. He doesn't seem to have any interest in doing anything else. Not sure how to help him.
:(
Like any addiction it is very frustrating, and there is little you can do to address it until they see a problem. I consider my family a lot of functional alcoholics. They seem to get along okay but they drink every night. My daughter has been through rehab for alcohol herself, so that and being a lifelong non-drinker it seems like a lot to me. I hear from them all the health benefits of drinking but I don't buy it.
Usually the addict starts to see it when it interferes with life, keeping a job, maintaining relationships, etc. Then they have the chance to change if they are going to.
It's normal in various cultures to drink wine with meals on a daily basis, others have made it a custom. I'm not sure its a problem unless it's affecting their health or life in some way.
I always appreciate everyone's input. I've been through the whole drug and alcohol addiction and recovery with other members. And actually so has my son. This is not as disruptive as other addictions so it's easier to ignore. Well he bought some notebooks last night so I'm feeling hopeful that he's planning on going back to school.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2025 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.