does anyone have experience with NVC

[Zoe Girl]

Hi all, I have a frustrating parent! I am gonna lose my mind. The conversations have become mom listing everything that has been happening at camp, even things I felt have been resolved. I answer them all and it becomes a verbal volley where I say I am taking it seriously and following up, then I repeat the answers over and over. She also is not respecting pick up time and things that are happening around, such as I am monitoring a large group of kids and she wants my full attention. I am at the point I just want her to stop talking so I can go home! She has some real concerns but is not able to listen really well. I have a lot of patience but I am at my end.

I read and studied the NVC book a little and that seems like a good way to try and change this dynamic, but I also realize these are new skills for me in some ways. I can start using a little but then don't stick with it when I feel I am running out of time. There is a person in the department I may reach out to for some help, and a friend but she is moving and has a new job. I am thinking about putting some of the techniques on a note card and carry them for when I get stopped by her, but I also really need to get across when it is time to have this conversation and when it isn't. I was at work 40 minutes late last night waiting for her and then talking to her about a kid who said something like stupid to her son (yeah kids say those things, if her son was verbal he would say things like that too but he isn't).

[herbgeek]

I'm not sure you need NVC as much as setting reasonably boundaries with that mom. For example, ask her to make an appointment to discuss her concerns, as you can't give her your undivided attention while all the children are still around. And then when you do have a meeting with her, and she brings up resolved issues, tell her that you thought it was resolved because you did x y and z, and ask her what else she is expecting. At that point, she either has a reasonable request or she doesn't and you can tell her that.

NVC is nice and all, but pushy people can still take advantage or make unreasonable requests.

[nswef]

What is NVC?

[Zoe Girl]

NVC is nonviolent communication

Thank you Herb, I actually had a visit from a department person today and got some great advice that was more about that limit and boundaries than NVC. I think that empathizing has been tried a LOT from me and my staff, and now she just needs to do things like pay attention. So she suggested that I have mom write down everything that has happened and I can write down how we responded and give her a copy and then move on. Camp is hard work, I am tired and want my 2 months of going home much earlier than the school year!

I think this will be good going into next school year because we are getting more parents that really push. I actually pulled one out of PTA meeting last year to tell her she needed to stop doing something that was causing issues for my program. Some of our parents are just used to pushing until people give in, and I don't always give in but find that balance with customer service.

[ToomuchStuff]

I think ALL the posters of this forum, qualify as NON VERBAL communication.
Sometimes we even have to gain experience deciphering abbreviations that mean nothing to us. :~)