View Full Version : Finding balance
Chicken lady
7-27-16, 7:50am
So, my attempting not to do too much thread crashed up against the insight I gained when I finally backed off far enough. Pulling focus, it's all time. My time is divided into functional (eating, sleeping, bathing, etc.) managing things (cleaning, moving, using, discarding...) and managing activities (errands, classes, job, exercise....). The value of each of these divisions can be assessed by what value (health, resources, pleasure) they add to my life vs. what cost (health, resources, pleasure) they exact.
so, ignoring the functional for now, I'm going to try to keep an eye on the other two categories, esp. Things.
things that come into my life to be managed every day:
milk
eggs
manure
dirty laundry
dirty dishes
general dirt in buildings
e-mail
almost every day - snail mail.
i'm going to begin by moving those things toward their correct level, which today means using up/reducing at least the increase in every category (part of the year eggs and milk are a scarcity to be stretched)
i'm also going to track instances of increase in activities (new tasks/commitments) and things (obvious)
Chicken lady
7-27-16, 7:46pm
So today:
milk: up 2 quarts
eggs (I'm going to base this on last night's eggs since I collect them at bed time): down one egg
stalls (that sounds better than manure): improved
laundry: dirty fits in basket, clean mostly put away - lateral?
dishes: improved
house : cleaner
e-mail: less
S mail: processed and backlog reduced
i did most of my daily jobs, except dinner was leftovers and evening chores are later.
i spent extra (not focused on core jobs and items)time helping dd with something, and hanging out on-line - including the newspaper and one Netflix show.
i caused no additional things to enter the house.
freshstart
7-27-16, 8:32pm
a good, well-balanced day IMHO
Teacher Terry
7-28-16, 12:54pm
since there are only 2 of you could you just do all the laundry on one day? Make a big enough meal that you can have leftovers for a few days. These are some of the time savers I use. Do you have a dishwasher because this is a huge time saver. Then you only have to hand wash the pans. It seems like you have too much on your plate on a daily basis.
Chicken lady
7-28-16, 6:37pm
I have a dishwasher. I generally empty it in the morning while the milk is running through the strainer and then fill it up all day.
Dh is not a huge fan of leftovers unless they are mixed up or reimagined. Mostly he doesn't like reheated vegetables because they get overlooked, so it's more a nutrition issue. Tonight was going to be salad and leftover pork chops and rice, but dd volunteered to cook (currently it is three of us)
it's better for me to do the laundry a little each day because I don't have the attention span to put a giant pile of laundry away and most of the things I want to do aren't compatible with constantly switching loads over.
Today I did breakfast, pack lunch, chores, fishes, laundry, load (cleaned out) car, and then I left home.
I made a giant loop down to my class and back and:
dropped off goodwill stuff, shopped (rolling pin storage rack $4 reimbursable for my classroom and a letter stamp set for my home studio $1)
dropped off dh racquetball racquet to be restrung
bought 10 gallons of paint for the addition (saved $151)
got groceries
took a 2.5 hour free class
stopped at J.c. Penneys for underwear and a candy bar (27 cents total with coupon)
Got wormer at tsc
bought feed
picked up my check from the store that sells my pots
and came home.
dd made banana bread and cleaned up after herself and is planning to make dinner in a minute.
I still have evening chores and the laundry didn't get put away. I'm up 4 eggs and another gallon of milk. - cheese tomorrow! The snail mail got recycled, the e-mail folders are trimmed down more, and I guess the house and the stalls got a little dirtier. Not much screen time today.
i'm really not excited about unloading the car.
Any possibility of hiring a local teen to help with some of the farm type chores? I know it's money going out but I bet they'd work cheap.
Chicken lady
7-28-16, 8:32pm
The thing is that I like the farm type chores. If I could get the house de hoarded (when get the house de hoarded?) I could see hiring someone to clean the bathrooms and floors.
dh and I have also talked about having someone come in and cook now and then. Our heart daughter's gf is a caterer, and we hired her to do brunch here before Dd's wedding and it was amazing.
Teacher Terry
7-28-16, 9:41pm
so if you had left over rice and pork chops you couldn't just serve that with a fresh veggie? That kind of stuff is a huge time safer. I would think that it would be very expensive to have someone come in to cook sometimes. Trying to think outside the box if 1 laundry day too much how about 3x/week? I am sure your adult daughter does her own laundry so can't imagine that you and DH are making that much dirty stuff unless the farm chores are the big laundry problem. I think you need to come up with some solutions that will work for you guys because your days are overloaded especially once you start teaching p.t. in the fall. Waiting until the house is de-hoarded to live the way you want seems like a bad idea for the long term. There must be some things that you can stream line and still have things flow the way you want. Maybe brainstorm with your DH about all of this.
Chicken lady
7-28-16, 10:21pm
I am not a fancy cook. The veggies are what take all the time. Rice cooks in 20 minutes while you are doing something else. Meat goes in a pan or the oven with some pepper/garlic/salt. Veggies have to be washed and chopped and steamed or sautéed and flavored, and you have to pay attention to them.
for laundry, we have a load of delicates, a load of dh work clothes, one or two loads of heavy farm type clothes, a load of reds, a bleach load, and sheets and towels. Roughly a load a day. It's not that big a deal. I don't mind doing it.
today was overloaded, but like your approach to laundry, I really wanted to get all the leaving the house things done so I didn't have to go out again, and it saved a lot of driving. I'm not sure what doing all the laundry the same day saves except not thinking about laundry?
i did unload the car, but I didn't put everything away in the house. Just in the barn.
Chicken lady
7-29-16, 10:37am
So, it's 10:30.
i made dh breakfast,
packed his lunch,
purged some e-mail,
read stuff on-line until my coffee was gone,
threw in a load of laundry,
did chores including some extra meds today
emptied the dishwasher,
loaded the dishwasher,
washed the pans dd used last night,
switched over the laundry,
talked to dh when he called to tell me he'll be out of town until late for work,
signed for Dd's b-day package,
chatted with the girl who dropped off hay,
put away the rest of the groceries and cleaned out and put away the cooler,
recycled the mail,
Fed the cat,
made French toast,
and am now eating it. My laundry is ready to put away and I have a French toast pan to wash.
teacher terry (or anyone) what does your day look like?
I can tell you about my day.
Up at 6:30 a.m. and got me ready
stripped my bed and started the washer and left a note for sons to move it to the dryer
fed the pets
made coffee
cleaned kitchen counters and washed a few dishes
tidy the living area
working 9-1 at church
picking up son to do some college stuff and he promised me a lunch out (his treat)
need to pick the last of the blackberries and whatever else is available in the garden
I intend to clean two bathrooms
son wants to take me to see the Jason Borne movie tonight
I need to write a card to my cousin's wife dying of brain tumor, he is making the call to hospice today.
Husband should arrive in SC this afternoon to visit his mother, then he and his brother head to Hilton Head (brother has meetings, husband will get a little beach time).
My day is so much easier and less full than the others.
Up when I want- generally before 8.
Start stretches, coffee making, stretches,
write in journal, write creatively while drinking coffee,
make breakfast for me-husband does his own,
check on email.
Rest of the day free to do whatever I want. Some days are more scheduled than others.
Food pantry on Tuesdays,
book club 2 x a month,
writers' group 2x a month,
clean house 2 x a month,
yard work pretty frequently for 30 - 40 minutes at a time,
social events a few times a month.
When I worked (teacher in public school) I did a whole lot more and was a lot more stressed 31 years in 4th grade! Retired 15 years.
This month I had some dr. appointments.
My husband often cooks dinner, especially in the summer.
He also does most of the shopping.
I do the laundry now- we shared when I worked, but it's only 2 or 3 loads a week. Not having children leaves a lot of room for free time. No kitty now.
Chicken lady
7-29-16, 11:35am
But, what do you do when you do "whatever you want?"
i guess that's the thing, I have all this stuff to do because "whatever I want" is teaching and raising chickens and goats and making cheese and such.
Teacher Terry
7-29-16, 12:55pm
when I worked f.t. things were more hectic. 4 years ago I semi-retired. I get up when I want which means usually between 7-8:30. However, if I stay up really late then I get up when the dogs wake me and give them breakfast and then go back to bed for a few hours. I do pet meds and then read paper, drink coffee then breakfast. My DH and I fend for ourselves except I usually make dinner. The nights we have leftovers we each heat up when we feel like eating. One day a week I do my laundry and towels, sheets, etc. I only do his laundry if he is working. He is also semi-retired so fluctuates between no work and then working. I walk the dog when I feel like it but daily. I teach my class online but I can get on it whenever I want. All the lecture notes are in it already. Some days I meet people for lunch or my dh and I go somewhere. Occasionally I do consulting work. Every Fri night I get together with my best friend and on SAt we always do something fun either by ourselves or with a group. I have my kids over for dinner weekly. I usually do some housework during the week which involves sweeping/mopping whole house, kitchen, bathrooms, etc. I pick up daily. My house is always clean without that much effort. My DH is in charge of grocery shopping, most errands and outside work. I pay all the bills, care for the 4 dogs, etc. I decide how busy or non-busy I want to be. One day a week we drive an hour each week to see my good friend that has Alzheimer's and lives in a home. that takes most of that day with the visit, etc. I do some volunteer work also. Sometimes i will run errands for friends still working and I have a disabled friend I take for errands and lunch 2x's/month. I love not being on the go all the time. Every few weeks we host friends for dinner. No day is exactly the same due to the flexibility I have. I love being able to make last minute plans. Just last night decided to have lunch with a friend today.
Chicken lady
7-29-16, 1:44pm
I think I hate housework and you hate laundry. Sweeping/mopping the whole house might not take very long, but It doesn't sound like not much effort. You may have a 600 sq ft house, still sounds like a pain. I'd rather clean stalls. So my floors are often dirty.
today I'm being lazy because I'm tired. Dh and I are working on the sleep thing, but we're not there yet.
Teacher Terry
7-29-16, 2:16pm
Our house is 1400 sq ft. I don't clean my husband's office because he is a slob in there. I actually like laundry better then most tasks but it is something that can be concentrated on and killed all at once while doing other things. When there were 5 of us I still only did laundry 1 day/week. Stayed home and did it while doing other things at home. I hate cleaning the bathrooms but still have to do it:))
Chicken lady
7-30-16, 3:45pm
So, I have a minor injury that is going to shift my focus for the next few days. (Also, it took me three hours to do chores this morning, so I will definitely be doing less! I hear God laughing....)
anyway, on the up side, I found my cajeta recipe! And I found another recipe to recycle, which is tiny progress, but the right direction. Mail got recycled today, still slowly trimming e-mail files...
anyway today's flavor is vanilla and my kitchen smells really good!
Chicken lady
7-31-16, 10:21pm
I'm letting the housework slide a little and no one has complained (robbing me of the chance to offer them the opportunity to do it). Making progress on the addition again, catching up in the barn, keeping up more or less with laundry and dishes. Managing the paper nail and reducing e-mail and papers slowly.
the other night I didn't put new sheets back on the bed, and dh asked "are you going to put sheets on the bed?" And I said "no." And went down to set up the coffee. I came back up and I don't know what he had been doing, but there were no sheets on the bed. He tried to argue that he couldn't make the bed because I had some arcane system of sheet rotation that he would mess up, and I said "you grab sheets out of the closet or the dryer and you put them on the bed." And he starts in again about, no, sometimes we have red sheets and sometimes we have blue sheets... And I said "fine." Grabbed a comforter and a naked pillow and threw myself down on the mattress pad. He stood there a few minutes and then he made me get up and he made the bed.
i have dinner planned for tomorrow night - that's a big one gif me, it's always "what will I make for dinner..." That's the worst part of cooking.
the sleep thing is getting better. I'm well rested tonight and heading to bed in a few minutes. Dh has been doing some different things at work, so most days I'm sleeping until 6. Don't know how long that will last. Trying to get to bed before 10 a few nights a week too.
Good for you on the sheets thing! He is perfectly capable of doing that task and you gave him a chance to succeed at it, minus a bit of his incredulousness (is that a real word?) at your refusal to do it. Now he can take over on that one!
I'm of the opinion that anything he wants done in the house he can proceed on to do it, without involving you. The sheets are a template for his new life at home.
He often talks about the clutter and wants to see you improve. Well, he can stop having you do things that he do very well himself. You are both adults with outside jobs. He can take care of himself at home.
This is a wonderful development, making the bed himself. 😄
Chicken lady
8-1-16, 10:40am
Yes, we are both adults with outside jobs, but my outside job requires me to be gone 7 hours a day, 2 days a week, 33 weeks a year, plus another 5-6 days for set up and clean up of the year, and half a dozen partial days for meetings or events. His outside job pays for most of OUR expenses and has him out of the house 10-12 hour a day, 5 days a week, 47 weeks a year. Plus a few weekends.
to expect him to do half the housework would be very unfair. However, as evenings have become an issue, it seems perfectly reasonable that if he's not doing anything but waiting for me to come to bed, he can pitch in so I can get there sooner!
The realization that you can change your behavior to help him change his....quite a revelation for you. It takes time and throwing a few hissy fits to get them to even see that they have unreasonable and un loving expectations! Good for you with the sheets!
Ok - but if he's not doing anything at the time, except to tell you to do something - then he can do it himself. The sheets are a perfect example. He is not your supervisor. 😉
Ultralight
8-1-16, 11:21am
It is practically a feminist revolution over at CL's house. ;)
That golden age of the good life for CL's dh is coming to a swift end...
Remind him how good it was while it lasted. And remind him, too, that most men his age and younger never got even a little taste of that good life!
Ultralight
8-1-16, 11:23am
"A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle!"
Chicken lady
8-1-16, 7:53pm
Ultralite, I often wonder why you think so little of your gender. I rather like men.
today I am grumpy because it rained on some of the things I wanted to do and my fingers are still swollen and sore.
i did chores, painted boards, kept up with e-mail, left the snail mail in the box (as did everyone else who drove past the box) did dishes, cleaned up a little, talked to my mom on the phone a lot, watched a Netflix movie, and made dinner. Also ate too much junk.
not feeling very good about my day.
i did remember to take my vitamins though.
Teacher Terry
8-1-16, 8:27pm
CL: I love men too! I must as I have been married 3x's:)). It sounds like you accomplished some things. Some days will be better then others. YOu can't be super productive everyday.
Chicken lady
8-10-16, 6:00pm
I'm starting to think that I should go back to over planning because all tasks expand and I am basically going to finish a fraction of what I think I am going to do on any given day, so the larger the original list, the more I actually get done. Probably a character flaw.
i'm also still working on my time use choices and sleep (although the sleep is better) and I need to focus more on exercise and healthy food.
ten days into August and here are my thoughts so far - more stuff has left the house than come in - also I have a large box of discards waiting to go to goodwill and a small pile to take to school for other teachers in two weeks.
my saved e-mail has been reduced, and I have only kept two non-coupon pieces of paper from the mail. I "balanced" these by recycling 5 magazines from the pile that accumulated before August. Otoh, my phone informs me that my text messages are now full.
i'm keeping up with the laundry and the house and barn are ok. The barn is trending better, the house is not bothering me.
i'm using the eggs at about the speed I collect them, but the milk has filled up the fridge again. I need to accept that I just have too much milk right now and feed it to the chickens (I do not want to dry off any goats at this point - they're in heavy production and it would be a pain and risk mastitis) the chickens like the milk and it's good for them, so I need to stop feeling guilt about "wasting" it. Aggravating dh by overfilling the fridge is a bigger offense.
Ultralight
8-10-16, 6:02pm
Ever feel like you are on a treadmill? A treadmill that is perhaps set to move too fast?
Teacher Terry
8-10-16, 6:06pm
To each their own but that is way too many regular chores everyday-ugh! What happens when you want to go on a 2 week vacation?
Ultralight
8-10-16, 6:13pm
Chores are the bane of my existence, that and Republicans.
But in all seriousness, I think it could do everyone some good to learn to just sit, relax, and meditate mindfully.
Wasn't it Socrates who said?:
"Beware the barrenness of a busy life."
Wasn't it Socrates who said?:
"Beware the barrenness of a busy life."Yes, but he also said: "To be is to do"
iris lilies
8-10-16, 6:52pm
Ever feel like you are on a treadmill? A treadmill that is perhaps set to move too fast?
Today I feel like the treadmill is passing me by. Our Friends are having a health crises with their daughter and it is difficult for me to figure out where to jump onto their life's treadmill to help them.
we are making food. DH will water and weed their multiple gardens, that all is easy. The rest of it and where we can step in, not sure.
Ultralight
8-10-16, 7:00pm
Yes, but he also said: "To be is to do"
Which is very different than "to do is to be."
Ultralight
8-10-16, 7:01pm
Today I feel like the treadmill is passing me by. Our Friends are having a health crises with their daughter and it is difficult for me to figure out where to jump onto their life's treadmill to help them.
we are making food. DH will water and weed their multiple gardens, that all is easy. The rest of it and where we can step in, not sure.
Good on you all for helping.
Chicken lady
8-10-16, 7:26pm
Why on earth would I want to go on a two week vacation?!
seriously, if I want to go somewhere (which I generally don't) I can pay Olivia to do my chores. Olivia then applies the money to her education expenses, and it's all good.
yes, the treadmill moves to fast. It's constantly dinner time, the alarm keeps going off, the mail keeps arriving, people fill my phone with texts.....
and then I go out in the barn, and I lean my head against the side of my goat, and I listen to her chewing and the chickens fussing about and the milk squirting into the pail, and I fall into an automatic rhythm - this is my meditation. Someday, if I become zen enough, i'll feel the same way about making dinner.
before enlightenment - chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment - chop wood, carry water.
frugal-one
8-10-16, 8:06pm
Which is very different than "to do is to be."
To be is to do nothing.
Sloeginfizz
8-10-16, 10:27pm
http://www.simplelivingforum.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=1628&stc=1
Sloeginfizz
8-10-16, 10:30pm
But seriously, I love hearing about milking goats and stuff. I can be the sort of stuff a city girl like me dreams about. I live in a high rise condo. No goats or chickens for me.
Teacher Terry
8-11-16, 1:00pm
I think a 2 week vacation would be good for you to get off the treadmill, have fun and take a break from all of your chores. It might force you to slow down and think about if you want your life to continue to be a constant treadmill of busy work.
Ultralight
8-11-16, 1:16pm
Why on earth would I want to go on a two week vacation?!
seriously, if I want to go somewhere (which I generally don't) I can pay Olivia to do my chores. Olivia then applies the money to her education expenses, and it's all good.
yes, the treadmill moves to fast. It's constantly dinner time, the alarm keeps going off, the mail keeps arriving, people fill my phone with texts.....
and then I go out in the barn, and I lean my head against the side of my goat, and I listen to her chewing and the chickens fussing about and the milk squirting into the pail, and I fall into an automatic rhythm - this is my meditation. Someday, if I become zen enough, i'll feel the same way about making dinner.
before enlightenment - chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment - chop wood, carry water.
Is this the kind of life you want? The kind you need a vacation from?
Ultralight
8-11-16, 1:17pm
... a constant treadmill of busy work.
People often get on a constant treadmill of busy work so they can avoid the labor and intensity of introspection.
I find that the terribly busy people are often running away from something...
Teacher Terry
8-11-16, 1:41pm
UL: I totally agree with you about this.
Chicken lady
8-11-16, 1:59pm
I seem to be having trouble communicating. Again.
my point was that my life is something i don't want a vacation from.
if I were going to have a "vacation" it would involve somebody else making dinner, dh not having to go to work so we could sleep until 7:00 in the morning, a postal strike and no cell phone.
one of my favorite "vacations" was the time we were out of power for 11 days in the dead of winter. Dh adjusted his work schedule to daylight and the kids and I stayed home. I still had to milk the goats (and break the ice out of their buckets, and heat water on the woodstove) and keep the fire going, and feed the animals, but dh brought home food every night and the kids and I ate room temperature stuff and fresh milk iced down in snow and eggs cooked on the woodstove. It was lovely.
then the power came back on and life returned to normal. The hot showers were nice.
i'm a teacher, so to me "busy work" means work with no inherent value. I get the impression that ultrlite angler would consider his paying job "busy work" but that is not how I feel about the work in my life. Even the things I don't like have value - my dh genuinely appreciates that I cook dinner, and it improves his day to come home to a hot meal after he's spent along day doing things he might not choose do except that they result in money that can be exchanged for other things that both of us want. He eats better when I cook, and I want him to be healthy and live a long time.
the work in my life that I would like to not have us the dealing with stuff work. I think people are interpreting "dealing with stuff" as "moving stuff around, cleaning stuff"? I don't really know. I am dealing with stuff because decisions have to be made and then stuff has to be put away or gotten rid of. The alternative is to get rid of every single thing (which would still be an unpleasant stuff task) and then buy new things as they are actually needed - which would be ANOTHER unpleasant stuff task and also feel sad many many times when I realize that things that really mattered to me are gone. OR to leave everything where it is and just churn through it looking for things when I need or want them - which I've tried for at least 30 years.
the best choice would be not to be in this situation, and to already have everything I want to keep neatly organized, in good condition, and readily accessible, but I missed the boat on that. That's where I'm trying to go now. If you're a simile/ metaphor person, it's like knotted rope. I have to do the tedious, annoying, time consuming work of picking the knots out of the rope so that the rope will be functional again. The alternative is to get a new rope, and I don't really want a whole new life, thanks.
Teacher Terry
8-11-16, 2:07pm
The problem is that you are on year 2 of dealing with stuff and you said in one post you expected it to take 5 years. If something this simple takes this long you are doing it wrong. The 2 of you should take a real vacation, get away from home, eat out, have time to talk and think, etc. You might come home with a different perspective on things that are important. I see your life like a mouse on a treadmill. Lots of movement but getting nowhere.
Chicken lady
8-11-16, 2:41pm
I am anticipating it taking five years to finish the addition - because there are two people putting every damn board in place by hand and one of them is working 12 hour days. The one with the higher skill level. Time vs. money. We can drag the process out five years and then dh can actually retire as planned and be "on vacation" all the time in a place where we both want to be, or we can spend money, get it done faster, and he can work a couple extra years of those 12 hour days before the "vacation" to pay for it.
or - great idea! We can use both time and money to go somewhere else, do something else, and then come back no further along on our actual goals - which, believe it or not, we thought out. At length, in relaxed conversations over glasses of wine by the fire, or on long tedious car trips to places we had to go because we prioritized spending time with family and friends.
i don't like traveling, I don't like sleeping in hotels, I don't like being around a lot of people, I don't like "resorts" where I cannot enjoy the "luxuries" because I am fully aware of the lives that provide them and the resources that I would prefer to put elsewhere where they would bring more joy. Telling my to "take a vacation" is like telling Ultraliteangler to hurry up and marry his girlfriend or he's going to mass out on having kids. "Stop investing your life energy in the things that matter to you and go invest it somewhere else."
as as for the dehoarding - I'm not going nowhere. Two days ago I dropped a glass jar of milk on the concrete basement floor. I did not have an emotional reaction to the loss of the jar or milk. I say this first because it is the really really big part. And then, I cleaned it up. I had to wipe some milk off the tire of the exercise bike, and I had to clean the floor. I actually laughed out loud because I was not hysterically trying to walk through broken glass to grab items off the floor that were made of non-milk proof substances before they got ruined - because they aren't there anymore! There is a path to the downstairs refrigerator wide enough to contain a shattered glass jar and a quart of milk and safely allow access to the person cleaning it up!
yes, maybe I am "doing it wrong". My dad lost over 100 lbs when I was pregnant with my first child. 100 lbs. in 8 months. The doctor told him he was going to die and suddenly exercise and healthy eating became the focus of his life. I have lost two pounds in the last month. Clearly that us not the focus of my life. But I'm not going to die because I'm 15 lbs overweight. I'm enjoying my life NOW. If I knew I was going to get hit by a truck in January and die, I wouldn't work faster to get this stuff done, I'd stop doing it at all. It's a means to an end, not the end itself. But it is the means to an end. The balance I'm trying to find is between long term happiness, and short term happiness.
also, I may be "doing it wrong" because this is really hard for me. If it were easy, I'm sure it would be faster. I could make you a set of hand thrown dishes by next Friday. Can you? Maybe you're doing it wrong....
"as as for the dehoarding - I'm not going nowhere. Two days ago I dropped a glass jar of milk on the concrete basement floor. I did not have an emotional reaction to the loss of the jar or milk. I say this first because it is the really really big part. And then, I cleaned it up. I had to wipe some milk off the tire of the exercise bike, and I had to clean the floor. I actually laughed out loud because I was not hysterically trying to walk through broken glass to grab items off the floor that were made of non-milk proof substances before they got ruined - because they aren't there anymore! There is a path to the downstairs refrigerator wide enough to contain a shattered glass jar and a quart of milk and safely allow access to the person cleaning it up!"
You've turned a BIG corner! Good for you. Changing the way we think is the hard part.
Teacher Terry
8-11-16, 5:24pm
You started this thread so I thought you were looking for suggestions. But I will now mind my own business. I didn't expect you to pay to have the addition done and I did not suggest that but I don't see why the de-hoarding is dependent on that but whatever. In your mind I guess it is. So sorry I suggested a real vacation-much better to stay home and work forever. Fine with me.
Ultralight
8-11-16, 5:29pm
It is possible that CL keeps so busy so as not to have to look into the abyss. It is a pretty common coping mechanism.
It is also possible that she hoards stuff because it helps her fend off the knowledge that life eventually ends. Again, this is a pretty common coping mechanism.
I often wonder if, like a morphine drip for a terminally ill person with cancer of the everything, most folks are better left on their coping mechanisms.
Chicken lady
8-11-16, 5:39pm
I am looking for suggestions, I just feel like you keep giving me the same suggestions in every conversation "get rid of most of your stuff (subtext you are being cruel to your children) and go away on a vacation and don't spend time with your grandchildren." It feels exactly like I would imagine ultralite would feel if I kept telling him to get married and have kids.
I don't understand what you think this mythical vacation is that is going to improve my life so much. I understand that you like to go "away" on "vacations" but I keep trying to tell you that that isn't a concept that appeals to me.
also I am cleaning out at a speed and to a level that works with my life, and it is one of the hardest things I have ever done.
i got angry because I keep trying to tell you both of those things and you keep acting like you can't hear me - not like you don't understand because you don't ask questions.
the dehoarding and the addition are both part of the Long term plan to have a right-sized, right-filled space for the life dh and I want to live.
and yes, given a choice, much better to stay home and clean stalls. If you have some vacation vision you think I don't understand, please feel free to elaborate beyond "vacation"
and beckyliz, thank you.
Chicken lady
8-11-16, 5:42pm
I think I'd be less "busy" if I stepped away from my personal abyss. I do think that one of the reasons I hold on to things is that it makes me feel like people and events are not completely gone or over.
ultralite, can you give me some examples from my posts of what you mean by "busy"? (See my thoughts on "busy work" - it's an ill defined word)
TVRodriguez
8-11-16, 7:10pm
my point was that my life is something i don't want a vacation from.
if I were going to have a "vacation" it would involve somebody else making dinner, dh not having to go to work so we could sleep until 7:00 in the morning, a postal strike and no cell phone.
one of my favorite "vacations" was the time we were out of power for 11 days in the dead of winter. Dh adjusted his work schedule to daylight and the kids and I stayed home. I still had to milk the goats (and break the ice out of their buckets, and heat water on the woodstove) and keep the fire going, and feed the animals, but dh brought home food every night and the kids and I ate room temperature stuff and fresh milk iced down in snow and eggs cooked on the woodstove. It was lovely.
That sounds lovely. If you are interested in recreating that type of scenario, perhaps you could ask your DH if he is willing to adjust his work schedule for a week or to take a week off of work to stay home with you and be responsible for dinner.
I'm in the middle of a decluttering campaign myself, and I took a week off work to dedicate to the kick start of this campaign. Our kids are in summer camp so I get about 7 hours each day to work on it. DH has contributed by making dinner most of this week (he's working and not decluttering himself). It's been great and I've gotten so much more done.
Chicken lady
8-11-16, 7:56pm
I've been watching your thread, and it's impressive. I can't go that fast or that long.
unfortunately dh job is such that he can't take time off work right now, and if he could he'd probably just take the sunny says so he could put in boards. He has little tolerance for unfinished projects - the pace of this is a difficult exercise for him.
we have taken "days off" in the past where we just sleep late, drink coffee on the porch (I still do farm chores) read books, swim in the pond, go for a walk, get dinner at the one cafe less than 20 miles from home.....
iris lilies
8-11-16, 8:16pm
Chicken Lady's daily routine looks to me to be full of purposeful tasks that make a meaningful life. Outside of dealing with the hoard, I can imagine myself doing these things in a retirement plan. Sure, I could see myself having a pottery shed or the equivilent, goats, etc.
From what I can tell chicken lady and her DH have set a very long term goal of a 5 year plan to finish the addition and dehoard, while still managing the animals and other farm tasks that she enjoys. From her descriptions of her days it sounds like she and DH are slowly but steadily moving forward towards achieving the long term goals and that the farm aspect of what she does on a day to day basis is enjoyable. I'm personally pretty impressed at her ability to stick with the long term plan and not give up or "take a break" from it. From what I can tell the only vacation she would want would be to have someone come and keep dehoarding while she continued to do the farm activities that she enjoys. But hiring out dehoarding would be difficult unless she just wanted absolutely everything gone, which I'm assuming she doesn't. I don't remember how old she is, if she's told us, but 3 more years of steady progress to get dehoarded and the addition done seems like a reasonable thing to me if it means DH can retire at the pre-planned 12 year mark and she can continue to do the activities she enjoys and possibly expand upon them with the additional time she will have once the two major goals have been achieved. After all, how many people go to school for 3 years in order to become a lawyer, etc. Achieving long term goals takes focus and dedication and sometimes things suck at points along the way but hopefully the end reward is worth it. From what CL has said I think it will be for her and DH.
Teacher Terry
8-12-16, 12:01am
I have never said don't spend time with your grandkids and yes if you leave a mess behind for your kids to deal with as I have had to do I think it is cruel. However, if you really have to ask what a vacation is then really???? No words here????????????????????????????????
I have never said don't spend time with your grandkids and yes if you leave a mess behind for your kids to deal with as I have had to do I think it is cruel. However, if you really have to ask what a vacation is then really???? No words here????????????????????????????????
Perhaps we need to remember what Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin had to say about vacations before we start judging.
Teacher Terry
8-12-16, 12:09am
They are horrible and no one should ever take a vacation ever. did i get the quote right from their book???
They are horrible and no one should ever take a vacation ever. did i get the quote right from their book???
Almost. I think a closer quote would be that if you're living the life you want to live the why would you want to spend money to 'vacate' it.
ApatheticNoMore
8-12-16, 1:58am
no I kind of relate to chicken lady on vacations, I don't always enjoy them. I enjoy time off work period, make no mistake, I'd rather be at work as little as possible, I use every last day of vacation time if I can help it and sometimes arrange to get a couple days of extra unpaid time (it's not that much, my employer isn't particularly generous). But real vacations have often been disappointing compared to staycations or day trips. So while it sometimes feels good to get away, it sometimes feels incredibly pointless and empty and I'd almost rather have spent the time working on my real life, which is here where I live, I'm often eager to get back to it (again definitely not work, but everything else that's here). So I haven't been on a vacation in maybe 3 years, but I did go to a conference a year ago for a week in San Francisco, all day taking classes, all evening wandering the city, all night in a hotel I couldn't afford if I had to pay for it. :)
Chicken lady
8-12-16, 7:07am
Teacher terry, I think I know what a vacation is, and i find them to be part of the problem - a disruptive, tiring, stressful stretch often full of the empty "business" UA keeps deriding, so I was asking that you use other words in case what I keep rejecting and what you keep suggesting are not the same thing.
jp1 summarized it beautifully. I may not yet be living the life I want, but removing myself from this place is a step in the wrong direction. I have been a lot of places, and I have done a lot of things, and now I have "come home" and I want to stay here.
you haven't actually said "don't spend time with your grandkids." That was my interpretation of comments you have made in response to mine about continuing to focus my life on my kids and eventually my grandkids. I understood early that that would not be your path of choice, attempted to reflect back to you that we clearly had different views on the subject, and I respect your choices, and I feel like you still make negative and discouraging comments about it every time I bring it up. Maybe the fault is mine, I often struggle to communicate with people.
As if I'm searching for a great fruit pie and when I say "I only know how to make apple" you say "I would never want to bake a pie, cake is much better" instead of "I don't bake pie, but I know a lot of people like cherry, have you tried that?"
i am 48. Dh is 50. The only "grandkid" we have so far is not legal or biological.
things in my life that I need to reexamine my use of time to fix because they are making me unhappy: my weight, lack of sleep, lack of time to pursue some of the activities I'd like to be doing - spinning, knitting, sewing, gardening, soap making and canning are some of the things that have been cut out by board painting and dehoarding, pottery has become very limited (I signed up for a class that starts Monday to force myself to spend regular time in the studio NOT cleaning it out). The inability to display and easily use the objects I really want and need to keep in my life due to poor decision making skills and self defeating thought processes. - which I am working on.
i know now I need exercise. I dislike "exercise" it is very hard for me to get on the bike when there's physical labor that needs to be done. But it is so hot and humid right now that I can't work at the intensity and length that would turn stall cleaning into a decent cardio workout. I'll give myself heat exhaustion.
Ultralight
8-12-16, 7:27am
Teacher terry, I think I know what a vacation is, and i find them to be part of the problem - a disruptive, tiring, stressful stretch often full of the empty "business" UA keeps deriding, so I was asking that you use other words in case what I keep rejecting and what you keep suggesting are not the same thing.
The last vacation I went on was really none of these bad things you listed off.
Vacations can be what you make of them. The last one I went on, about a year ago, was to Aruba.
My gf and I stayed at an Air BnB about ten minutes walk from a beach. Our days consisted of sleeping in, leisurely making breakfast, walking to the beach for a swim, getting grouper sandwiches on the beach for lunch, more swimming/tanning/relaxing, going "home" to make dinner, lounging around, reading, and having massive amounts of sex (can I say that on here?).
We also took one jeep tour and went snorkeling a couple times.
It was a mostly blissful 11 days.
Chicken lady
8-12-16, 8:04am
I like beaches, as long as they don't have a bunch of people on them and no one is smoking or playing music. Challenging.
here I can just as easily sleep in, leisurely make breakfast, walk to the pond for a swim, eat a fish for lunch that dh caught in the same pond (but not fresh veggies from the garden this year because it fell prey to time demands) lounge around, read, etc ;). While also avoiding air travel, strangers, added expenses, and a higher chance of sunburn. And I can sleep in my own bed and hang with my goats (did you take Harlan on vacation? If not, did you miss him?)
the reason I am not doing all of those things all the time is that I am doing all of the other things (also, dh is not home a lot) I guess I could announce "hey, I'm on vacation the next two days, pick up dinner and please get up instantly when your alarm goes off, turn it off, and be quiet so I can sleep in" but aside from going over badly, it would be less fun without him and I'd feel very guilty. My eyes are on the "long vacation" when he retires! I realize we need some shorter "vacations" between now and then, but unfortunately, this fall is not going to be the time. (Some days it feels like 7th grade, when I suddenly realized that my next significant goal was to graduate and get out of town and it was going to take 6 years no matter what I did - me being 12 and my parents being not open to boarding school, homeschooling, or early graduation.)
i did not use those six years as well as I could have because I was marking time. I'm trying to do better this time.
iris lilies
8-12-16, 10:55am
no I kind of relate to chicken lady on vacations, I don't always enjoy them. I enjoy time off work period, make no mistake, I'd rather be at work as little as possible, I use every last day of vacation time if I can help it and sometimes arrange to get a couple days of extra unpaid time (it's not that much, my employer isn't particularly generous). But real vacations have often been disappointing compared to staycations or day trips. So while it sometimes feels good to get away, it sometimes feels incredibly pointless and empty and I'd almost rather have spent the time working on my real life, which is here where I live, I'm often eager to get back to it (again definitely not work, but everything else that's here). So I haven't been on a vacation in maybe 3 years, but I did go to a conference a year ago for a week in San Francisco, all day taking classes, all evening wandering the city, all night in a hotel I couldn't afford if I had to pay for it. :)
I would love to go places if I didnt have to spend so much time getting there. Car trips bore me and airplane trips are a mass of small annoyances. I would be gone every week if I could snap my fingers and be there, the new place.
ApatheticNoMore
8-12-16, 11:39am
about 5 days into that vacation I'd want to come home and be productive (not for bosses and I don't consider paid labor very productive - I mean on my own things).
Oh Iris Lilies I agree.. Magically getting there would be fun. I don't mind car rides, but planes are just a nuisance for us. As for Chicken Lady- I'm very impressed with your determination to get things where you want. You are awfully hard on yourself. People often criticize and don't understand why people continue to do what they do even if parts make them unhappy ( not enough sleep). You are making such progress. Your vacation could be to just give yourself some slack. Enjoy how much you have accomplished.
ApatheticNoMore
8-12-16, 12:00pm
though I really prefer to take my chances with the downsides of Amtrak over flying or driving (unless someone else is driving), unless it's just a few hours away.
I like Amtrak--as far as mass transportation goes, don't mind day trips. Otherwise, as I've said, I'm waiting for teleportation.
Chicken lady, reading about your day makes me want to take a nap. The Donald would say I'm a low energy person, and I'll cop to that.
freshstart
8-12-16, 2:15pm
CL's day makes me want to nap, too. I am definitely a low energy person, I can live with that
Teacher Terry
8-12-16, 2:34pm
I am an outgoing extroverted person and it sounds like you are the polar opposite. I like to tackle a project intensely and get it done. It drives me crazy for things to get done at a slow pace. I had a good friend at work that had a very small life. It was family and kids, etc only. but she was frequently complaining abut everyone and after 10 years of this I suggested she enlarge her life to include friends outside of work and she got really mad. However, I think you also prefer a small life but are not complaining about the people that are in it. I had a bad day yesterday trying to deal with my friend that has Alzheimer's business. I made my 4th visit to a bank to get the address for her pension check changed and this time I made them get the manager to get it taken care of. what I have found is that if I call a business and pretend to be her I can get things done but if I have to show up in person with my POA it is difficult to make anything happen. I think you need advice from someone with a similar personality and style of doing things because your inability to do things just like me is frustrating both of us:~).
Yeah--that "Why can't you be just like me?!!" thing is the root of problems worldwide.
I've always been a meanderer--I'll start something, get distracted, do something else, take a break.... Most tasks eventually get done. If not, oh well.
Fortunately, I don't have to please anyone but myself. It only becomes a problem when my full speed ahead partner is involved.
A good percentage of us relish our "small lives." They are one form of simple living, after all.
Teacher Terry
8-12-16, 3:10pm
Nothing wrong with a small live if it brings you happiness. It was not for my friend at work but she wasn't willing to do anything to change it. Actually that is why the Myers Briggs can be used to help with conflict in the workplace or in marriages, etc. Because we all just think that others should see stuff the way we do. The MB can really help people to understand how different we all are. My ex was worse then me in getting things done quickly so we matched in that area. My present DH is not so I have to get the whip out. Once when we were doing a big project he did remind me that even slaves get a day off:(. Also when I say a small life I mean in the # of people in it. Not what you do, or the quality or anything like that. Nothing judgemental at all. I do notice that the older I get the smaller # of people I choose to keep in contact with, etc. I don't need as big a circle of friends.
Chicken lady
8-14-16, 9:30pm
So, I took a "vacation". Leftovers Friday night, takeout Saturday and tonight. Did the basic chores, slept late, only washed dishes I needed, watched the Olympics and some videos, read. Didn't deal with the stuff or the laundry or the mail. Dd and dsil came over to my messy house tonight and I wasn't really comfortable with it.
i'm much less tired, but more discouraged (depressed?) it rained a lot so minimal house progress. I gained back my two lbs.
tonight I loaded and started the dishwasher and ran a bleach load - I'm going to throw it in the dryer before bed.
i talked to dh about my frustration with my weight and lack of motivation to exercise. He's been helping me quit biting my nails (a lifetime habit that I stopped for a while in 4th grade) with reminders and feedback, and I've actually made great progress. I currently have trimmed white tips on nine out of ten. The tenth one got smashed and pealed off from the base and is still thin and fragile - I have caught myself chewing at it a couple of times, but I'm improving.
I'm going to put up a sticker chart for riding the bike. He told me to out up one sticker for every 15 minutes and "there may be a prize"
i'm also going to try to keep track of how I'm actually spending my time vs how I think I want to spend my time this week.
Chicken Lady, I bit my nails FOREVER! I am 50 this year and just realized that maybe my anxiety and other stresses are getting better since I have not been biting them for about 2 years. It just happened slowly, I would go for short amounts of time and not bite but always ended back up biting them. I actually have to trim my nails for the first time in my life, I had to think about it when they got to the end of my fingertips and started to feel too long. Kinda sad since I have been meditating for half of my life and still wasn't all that calm, good luck.
I think taking breaks is good, mini vacations from the hard work are rejuvenating.
Chicken lady
8-18-16, 9:18am
My house got struck by lightening. We had to replace the modem. (Memo - you are spending too much time on the Internet - God)
i took a break from the dehoarding too. And I realized I was sliding back into depression, so I talked with dh last night, and hopefully I put the breaks on that. I'm being gentle with myself right now and he's trying to pay more attention. I feel like it's really unfair to ask him for help because he has do much else on him, but he's who I have.
dd went back to school and it's just us again. I will miss her, but it makes my days quieter and calmer.
she deep cleaned her room before she left and jokingly asked if she got her deposit back. She also made a decision to let go of some furniture. The chair just goes, the dresser and desk I will need to find some kind of replacement for before I redo her room, but it opens up a lot of possibilities.
i think the "how I'm spending my time" project is going ok.
iris lilies
8-18-16, 10:26am
People who bite their nails have better immune systems. I read that headline yesterday.
and yeah, you had better stay off that computer, sister! Haha.
Chicken lady
8-19-16, 1:06pm
Ok, I have been doing better - getting some exercise, eating more vegetables, drinking more water....
but.
Today I am REALLY tired again. I am dragging my way through the "things I gotta do" but I have very little motivation and no creative energy. My food choices today are clearly focused on carbs and caffein, and there is physical labor I need to do that I simply cannot push myself into.
i cannot be this tired on Fridays, because three weeks from today I am going to need to get up at 5:45, pack two lunches, make two breakfasts, do my chores, get out the door to work, and teach until 3:30. So we need to have a discussion about Thursdays.
Chicken Lady, I find the older I get the more I need to rest before and after "big deals" such as working! My Sundays before retirement were slow and easy as I got ready to face the week in a Public School 4th grade...So, rethinking Thursdays is a good plan to me.
Chicken lady
8-27-16, 9:42am
I have been writing down what I do and what I eat all week (not surprising news, I snack less if I am not in the house).
i am focusing on basics: sleep, better eating habits, and exercise.
I am trying to spot problem areas to work on (like finally fixing the hole in the fence, which took 40 minutes, instead of putting the goat away three times a day and cleaning up the stuff she knocked over in the part of the barn she wasn't supposed to be in, which took 5 minutes - every time.)
I am looking at what I think my priorities are vs. how I am actually spending my time - enlightening.
i have lost a total of 4 lbs.
i have had more stuff out than in. Since I filled the big doll box (big describing box) and donated the stuff, I have added
- three turkey feathers I picked up in the yard and put in a vase of feathers I have on my desk,
- a medium sized metal easel I bought at goodwill for $2 that I think will improve my display at the fall pottery sale and hopefully help sell a large, more expensive piece
- another doll (I am now working on filling the shipping box - I know several people on here would like to encourage me to stop collecting dolls. Please don't. You will just encourage me to leave any I collect off the list)
- a spool of thread
- a bowl I made and added to the kitchen
that is literally all my non food in.
i didn't finish kondoing my studio stuff, but I did do the school stuff. I threw away a bag of stuff from my classroom and added items from my studio. The classroom is now set up and (almost - I need to put names on lockers) ready to go. Dh looked at my studio last night and said "there is hope."
dh is going to go out to lunch on Thursdays so I can sleep in. He's trying to come up with a "grab and go" breakfast idea. He wants to meet me to work out on the days that I teach and at least sometimes take me out to dinner afterward somewhere light and healthy. We are working on ideas for that.
next week he is taking Thursday, Friday, and Monday off and we are going to take a vacation to the 1970's (before home answering machines, Internet, and cell phones.). We're also going to stop the mail. Plans include local museums, libraries, reading, swimming, sleeping in and eating out. Maybe a movie.
but today we are building the house again.
Chicken lady, I love your "70s vacation" idea. Have fun!
Chicken lady
8-31-16, 8:56pm
Bye! :cool: See y'all on tuesday!
mschrisgo2
9-1-16, 12:48am
Enjoy!
Chicken lady
9-6-16, 9:34am
Our "vacation" was really nice. We ended up doing even less than we planned.
day one we went to the library and our favorite long trip grocery store.
armed with good food and good books, we slept in, ate out three times (once between the library and the groceries) visited two parks for some pleasant walks, window shopped in an antique store, cleaned out and reordered the pantry, bought a new container for the cat food, walked around the property, sat on the porch, read our books, and watched a few movies at home.
dd and her husband came for dinner Sunday night, stayed over, and cooked us breakfast. Her sister in law stopped by for leftovers for lunch and then all three headed home.
i did my chores and a little laundry. Dh stepped up on the cooking and dishes.
last night we laid out a plan for this week including activities, work, exercise, dinners, and work that needs to be done at home.
i am already having trouble not adding things to my list. I will see a job that "needs" to be done and have to ask myself "really? Is that critical?" And put it on the list to consider scheduling for next week. (Small jobs like carrying a pair of shoes upstairs to the closet or wiping off the table don't count, just jobs that take more than 5 minutes.)
Chicken lady
9-7-16, 8:57pm
Feeling pretty good about my day.
got up, made us both breakfast and packed two lunches
did my chores
cleaned up the kitchen
and still got out the door on time for work.
had everything I needed in class and didn't feel rushed or overwhelmed even when the director surprised me with lunch and dismissal duties.
ran two planned errands on the way to meet dh to swim after work,
still had about 15 minutes extra to look over class notes from the day before he got there.
swam, and then dh and I cooked a healthy dinner at home - quickly because I had done a lot of the prep work this morning.
We ate, talked to ds on face time, then cleaned up dinner and unloaded our lunch boxes into the dishwasher too.
he roasted the coffee while I did chores and then I set up the coffee maker.
Done. with an hour before bed to surf online and/or read. No starting on the lesson plans or throwing in a load of laundry - those are tomorrow's list.
Gardenarian
9-8-16, 12:45am
Hi Chicken Lady,
Somehow I missed this thread. You sound like you have a great life going on, and I really admire you for making these long term goals. You take on a lot and it sounds like you manage it with grace.
I am in a transitional period - semi-retired and exploring many possibilities. I dislike house work and we have far too much stuff. I got very little accomplished this summer as far as organizing, but I had a good time and my head is in a different place now. I didn't take a vacation, but cut myself a lot of slack in terms of chores and taking work hours (I'm a substitute librarian.) Now that the weather has cooled off I seem to have moved into action mode, and I can see that something shifted in my brain during my slow summer. I feel energized, and am actually putting that energy into some actions that will enhance our lives long-term.
Today was a pretty ordinary day:
Wake at 7ish to see dd off to school.
Read the paper, check email, and drink tea for an hour.
Play ball with my dog while watering the garden.
Tidy up kitchen, bedroom, and bath.
Practice piano a bit.
Get myself ready and ride my bike to the gym. Stop at library & co-op grocery on way home.
Dh is up by the time I get back (musician's hours) make smoothies and we talk about what needs to be done for our vacation rental. Lots. We head over and work there for a couple hours.
Hang out in the park for awhile alone, browse the bookstore, head home.
Dd's home; I assist her with organization.
Finish the hat/scarf rack I started making yesterday. Looks good! Hang on wall (curse stupid drill.)
Make some tea, do some drawing, write in journal.
No one's around for dinner so I just make a salad.
Take dog for walk.
Read, go online. (I've been spending little time online this summer.)
I'm enrolled in some classes that start next week - 2 hours, 3 times per week. I'm trying to get in a home project (like the hat rack) every day. Tomorrow I'm taking a big box of dd's clothes to the consignment shop. Earlier this week I made a bulletin board and large weekly calendar that I hung across from my bed. I also deeply vacuumed and washed ALL the floors, which were getting gross.
I'm developing a comic strip, and that is on my mind all the time.
Dh and I need to spend some time making plans, as you did. A kind of guiding light.
I didn't plan on writing this much - but I was inspired by your holistic life vision!
Part-time job
Job applications
Cooked meals
Washed dishes
Did some laundry
Broiling hot at 1:am again and I am melting into my chair like the wicked witch of the East.
I have also had gallons of plain water and one cup of coffee this morning (nothing but coffee in it)
I have a bad craving for sweet tea though.
Think I need another shower to cook off before bed.
TVRodriguez
9-8-16, 5:36pm
Our "vacation" was really nice. We ended up doing even less than we planned.
day one we went to the library and our favorite long trip grocery store.
armed with good food and good books, we slept in, ate out three times (once between the library and the groceries) visited two parks for some pleasant walks, window shopped in an antique store, cleaned out and reordered the pantry, bought a new container for the cat food, walked around the property, sat on the porch, read our books, and watched a few movies at home.
dd and her husband came for dinner Sunday night, stayed over, and cooked us breakfast. Her sister in law stopped by for leftovers for lunch and then all three headed home.
i did my chores and a little laundry. Dh stepped up on the cooking and dishes.
last night we laid out a plan for this week including activities, work, exercise, dinners, and work that needs to be done at home.
i am already having trouble not adding things to my list. I will see a job that "needs" to be done and have to ask myself "really? Is that critical?" And put it on the list to consider scheduling for next week. (Small jobs like carrying a pair of shoes upstairs to the closet or wiping off the table don't count, just jobs that take more than 5 minutes.)
I had to highlight the bit about the pantry because, well, BRAVO!! That is a whole job in and of itself that I have yet to tackle, and you did it on your "vacation"!! Color me impressed.
Feeling pretty good about my day.
got up, made us both breakfast and packed two lunches
did my chores
cleaned up the kitchen
and still got out the door on time for work.
had everything I needed in class and didn't feel rushed or overwhelmed even when the director surprised me with lunch and dismissal duties.
ran two planned errands on the way to meet dh to swim after work,
still had about 15 minutes extra to look over class notes from the day before he got there.
swam, and then dh and I cooked a healthy dinner at home - quickly because I had done a lot of the prep work this morning.
We ate, talked to ds on face time, then cleaned up dinner and unloaded our lunch boxes into the dishwasher too.
he roasted the coffee while I did chores and then I set up the coffee maker.
Done. with an hour before bed to surf online and/or read. No starting on the lesson plans or throwing in a load of laundry - those are tomorrow's list.
you SHOULD feel good about this day
I am working, looking for a job and also trying to KonMari my home (which will make it easier to move if I need to for a new job).
Some of these job applications take hours to complete, then they send you new applications, tests or whatever, then there are 3 to 5 interviews (usually starting with a group interview with 10 to 25 applicants at one time.) And, some of these jobs pay federal minimum wage part-time with no benefits. So far, they don't seem impressed by education or experience but want to hire smartphone carrying youngsters. Really, they use their smartphones to play games and talk to friends during the group interviews.
I was speechless about it!
I don't get it!
I apparently need plastic surgery to look 45 years young along with a snazzy smartphone to get hired.
Chicken lady
9-9-16, 7:56pm
Sandy, your life sounds really stressful!
yesterday I started puttering around doing things that were not on my list. If I see something that is not on my list and it is not an emergency, I'm supposed to write it down for scheduling later (emergency - the kitchen floor is covered with broken glass and jam, non-emergency - the kitchen floor is very dirty)
so I stopped myself and switched to my list. But I put off my fun thing until last and was too tired to get to it. I need to do the fun thing earlier. That is the point of putting it on the list!
today was a work day and I did really well. My fun thing was stopping by Dd's new house for an hour after work. We're helping her move in tomorrow.
i was supposed to cook dinner, but dh said "we have a lot of leftovers, let's eat those." We'll eat out tomorrow (because of the moving) so I don't have to cook again until Sunday night.
dh is really good at pantries. He doesn't mind throwing stuff out. He helped a lot and didn't let me quit.
Yes, I just did a double dash to the park to walk before it started to rain, it might rain tomorrow too so it is good that I did that. I want to lose weight but there isn't much time for exercise really right now. Even sleeping 4 or 5 hours, there just isn't enough time.
Getting rid of stuff is imperative to move possibly, and I have to work and look for more work.
I have a couple of friends who are also working 2 or 3 jobs, and it is stressful but that is the new reality for a lot of people today. (even with an education).
Chicken lady
9-9-16, 9:27pm
I find it is easier for me to lose weight if I get enough sleep.
the listing thing is helping me step back. I started with my priorities - family, sleep, healthy eating, exercise, farm, job, house (I love my job, but it is our second income) and then looked at how I was spending my time. Then I started listing the things that "had to be done" and the things "I want to do" and am attempting to schedule a reasonable number each day based on importance.
At the health center today, after work and hanging out with my kid, my blood pressure was 91/67! It has been borderline high in the past when I was stressed out and making poor choices, so I must be doing something right.
good for you Chicken Lady, You made a plan to decrease stress and you seem to have it functioning quite well. I know it is hard to change and to put "urgent but not important" things on the to do later list. And no cooking dinner for 2 days! Yay!
freshstart
9-10-16, 12:31pm
good news on the blood pressure
good news on the blood pressure
a side note: is it natural for blood pressure to rise slightly with age? I've always had healthy blood pressure but now on the other side of 60 I'm getting readings like 130/82. Of course that last one was at my dentist at the beginning of my visit, so it's not a low-stress happy situation, but they said "it's higher than we like to see." I have a relatively low stress life right now so there's no reason for it to climb, but I'd also heard that age can be a factor in a slight increase?
greenclaire
9-10-16, 1:07pm
a side note: is it natural for blood pressure to rise slightly with age? I've always had healthy blood pressure but now on the other side of 60 I'm getting readings like 130/82. Of course that last one was at my dentist at the beginning of my visit, so it's not a low-stress happy situation, but they said "it's higher than we like to see." I have a relatively low stress life right now so there's no reason for it to climb, but I'd also heard that age can be a factor in a slight increase?
Yes, it's normal for it to rise with age. (Here in the UK at least) it's only considered high if it reaches 140/90 so you're still within safe limits.
a side note: is it natural for blood pressure to rise slightly with age? I've always had healthy blood pressure but now on the other side of 60 I'm getting readings like 130/82. Of course that last one was at my dentist at the beginning of my visit, so it's not a low-stress happy situation, but they said "it's higher than we like to see." I have a relatively low stress life right now so there's no reason for it to climb, but I'd also heard that age can be a factor in a slight increase?
Mine shot up after menopause, had always been very low.
What I have found really helps is taking the OTC supplement Estrovent, and thank you for reminding me to start it again. Usually, after a few day on Estrovent, it will drop back into non-alarming territory.
freshstart
9-10-16, 1:57pm
age is a risk factor- http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/high-blood-pressure/basics/risk-factors/con-20019580doctors around here are starting to treat consistent readings of 130s over 90s if lifestyle changes don't work
TVRodriguez
9-12-16, 9:45am
I find it is easier for me to lose weight if I get enough sleep.
the listing thing is helping me step back. I started with my priorities - family, sleep, healthy eating, exercise, farm, job, house (I love my job, but it is our second income) and then looked at how I was spending my time. Then I started listing the things that "had to be done" and the things "I want to do" and am attempting to schedule a reasonable number each day based on importance.
At the health center today, after work and hanging out with my kid, my blood pressure was 91/67! It has been borderline high in the past when I was stressed out and making poor choices, so I must be doing something right.
This is great. Congrats! What a good idea, to list the priorities by category like that. I'll have to consider that myself.
I've been tracking my time, too, and I realized that I was not getting enough sleep. I'm MUCH happier, healthier, all around better to be near when I've had enough sleep. So sleep is getting more attention from me, too. I saw that I am getting plenty of time with my kids, which is great, but knowing that I'm not short-changing them also made me feel not guilty when I take time for myself.
Teacher Terry
9-13-16, 5:21am
I have always gotten enough sleep or I feel terrible. When I was raising my kids if I was really tired I would go to bed at the same time as them:)) I actually feel sick when don't have enough sleep so don't understand how people can be chronically sleep deprived. I did read that weight gain is connected to lack of sleep because people misinterpret tiredness for hunger.
Chicken lady
9-13-16, 6:36am
In my case, I get in trouble because I know I'm tired, not hungry, but if I can't sleep, I can give myself a jolt of sugar and caffeine and fake energy.
i've been keeping an eye on my protein lately too - I'm a vegetarian who really likes fruits and vegetables, so sometimes when I'm trying to lose weight, my food intake reads like a grocery list (melon, peach, carrots, banana, pepper strips, sweet potato ....) and I have to remind myself to add nuts and eggs. Like, this morning, I really want melon and peaches for breakfast, but the only significant protein I had yesterday was a handful of walnuts, so I really need to have an egg.
my days are still going pretty well. They are full, but I am getting things done including r&r and I feel like I am keeping up and making some small progress. Dh has started helping with dishes after dinner most nights. At first I asked him, but now he is just doing it.
I am considering trying to go to vegetarian, but with my allergies to milk lactose, nuts, seeds and soy, I am worried about anemia because I am prone to it. In nowheresville, there aren't a lot of vegan choices either. I can eat eggs occasionally but not too often. It might be a good way to lose weight though. Maybe I will try once all of my meat products are gone - see if it works for me or not.
I have always gotten enough sleep or I feel terrible. When I was raising my kids if I was really tired I would go to bed at the same time as them:)) I actually feel sick when don't have enough sleep so don't understand how people can be chronically sleep deprived. I did read that weight gain is connected to lack of sleep because people misinterpret tiredness for hunger.
I have a sleep disorder called delayed sleep phase syndrome, quite a challenge to live with and lightboxes and such don't work with this problem. I am better at night so if I have to go to a day job again it will be rough for me. It is just how my brain works (along with a lot of other people).
Chicken lady
9-13-16, 9:16pm
Sandy, dark leafy greens and dried beans are actually better sources of iron than meat. Also, molasses - yum!
vitamin c helps you absorb iron. a kale salad with orange slices is terrific.
I didn't know that molasses has iron. Used to make gingerbread at Christmas with it.
Do you just pour in a spoon to consume or do you put it on food?
I will have to check if my favorite store has raw kale for a salad and orange slices. I don't know if I like kale.
I like raw spinach (not cooked though)
Since going low-carb, I am buying more fruit and veggies for meals and snacks. The fresh stuff is expensive here though.
I used to love baked sweet potatoes but my microwave broke. I need one of those to make one potato - too much work for the regular oven IMO.
I do like beans in moderation. I know that beans and brown rice make a complete protein.
I can't eat peanuts anymore but haven't had a reaction to beans even though peanuts are a bean. I had a reaction to almonds too. I don't know about walnuts - used to eat a lot of those but this nut allergy is a new thing for me. Causes intense muscle cramping and a weird itchiness that is unbearable and strange.
I can eat small amounts of cheese (I like colby) or yogurt (to get probiotics and live cultures) but am lactose-intolerant.
Of course there are supplements with iron too.
Do you eat fish or is that off your list?
Chicken lady
9-14-16, 7:51am
I eat sea food rarely - if somebody I know caught it today, if it is cooked for me and I am company, or if the restaurant is supposed to be fantastic and the veg option isn't exciting. Also at dh company events, because they almost never have a veg option.
in August, I ate 3 scallops.
Raw spinach is great nutrition and high in iron. I put the molasses on cornbread and call it dessert. My students who are allergic to tree nuts are allergic to all tree nuts, but ymmv.
i had a great day yesterday. I got up at 5:40 and feel rested and am ready to leave for work with ten minutes to sit here and drink coffee in peace.
dh says he's happy with what I am getting done around the house and as far as errands and construction, etc.
i have lost 6 lbs.
Heme iron (from meat) is the most bioavailable source; oxalates in vegetable sources, such as spinach, inhibit assimilation.
From Healthcastle.com:
"Spinach is a source of non-heme iron, which is found in vegetable sources. Non-heme iron is not as bioavailable to the body as the heme iron found in animal products. Raw spinach contains an inhibitor called oxalic acid or oxalate. Oxalic acid naturally binds with minerals like calcium and iron, making them harder for the body to absorb. Cooking spinach can help unlock these iron absorption inhibitors and hence increase iron bioavailability. In other words, cooking spinach helps make iron more available to your body."
Gut health is also a factor.
TVRodriguez
9-14-16, 2:34pm
When I was raising my kids if I was really tired I would go to bed at the same time as them:)
This is me! Even though my kids aren't babies anymore, I generally go to bed after I finish their bedtime. I used to stay up later, watching tv/movies or just surfing mindlessly online. When I'm more disciplined and just go to bed after their bedtime, I'm happier all around.
freshstart
9-14-16, 4:27pm
another good day, chicken lady! yay on the 6 lbs
Chicken lady
9-18-16, 6:05am
I have always been geñerally a morning person. With the new routines, I am now asleep between nine and ten and waking naturally around 5 even when the alarm isn't set.
yesterday we worked on the addition. Dh worked on the addition and watched football. I worked on the addition, did chores, cleaned up dishes (we ate leftovers), and worked in the studio.
dh sat down to watch the second football game he wanted to see, and discovered that it had been delayed, so he channel surfed to another game. Then he commented "this rug is filthy." And I said "yep. It really needs to be vacuumed." then I went out to the studio.
i figure, if he really cared, he could vacuum while he waited for his game to start. And I certainly can't do it while he is watching tv. I'll probably do it this week. It's almost bad enough to top my cleaning list. But meanwhile, I'm not going to worry about it.
Chicken lady
9-22-16, 3:45pm
Today is a holiday for me. One that varies in it's celebrations, but is always about looking at the balance in my life and planning and preparing for the descent into winter.
Sometimes I clean, sometimes I bake or can, always I eat rich foods, so the diet is out the window today.
I spend time outside if I can - I saw our Flock of wild turkey's this morning.
today I am spending time on my studio. My clay work is something I want to take a larger role in my life and this is a good season to focus on it. I think my goal will be to do something related to it every day - cleaning up the studio, wedging clay, creating, firing, glazing, marketing, experimenting or researching, something that moves me forward.
my home is my second area of focus. I generally switch out a lot of decore today, and I will do some of that, but it may be spread more over the next week. Getting the siding done in the next month or so is a big focus.
i traditionally go through my closet and drawers, but again, I think that will wait - it is still hot and I am still shedding pounds. When the temperature drops or I am about 5 pounds thinner seem like better times.
i've been puttering in the studio. I've managed to discard a few things, but I've also come up with a big reorganization plan that is going to require more discarding. It's all about light! We'll see.
Today is a holiday for me. One that varies in it's celebrations, but is always about looking at the balance in my life and planning and preparing for the descent into winter.
Sometimes I clean, sometimes I bake or can, always I eat rich foods, so the diet is out the window today.
I spend time outside if I can - I saw our Flock of wild turkey's this morning.
today I am spending time on my studio. My clay work is something I want to take a larger role in my life and this is a good season to focus on it. I think my goal will be to do something related to it every day - cleaning up the studio, wedging clay, creating, firing, glazing, marketing, experimenting or researching, something that moves me forward.
my home is my second area of focus. I generally switch out a lot of decore today, and I will do some of that, but it may be spread more over the next week. Getting the siding done in the next month or so is a big focus.
i traditionally go through my closet and drawers, but again, I think that will wait - it is still hot and I am still shedding pounds. When the temperature drops or I am about 5 pounds thinner seem like better times.
i've been puttering in the studio. I've managed to discard a few things, but I've also come up with a big reorganization plan that is going to require more discarding. It's all about light! We'll see.
The first day of autumn but it is blasting hot.
This is a day for me that is sad and I just want to crawl into bed.
Not because it is autumn though.
You have good plans CL.
Teacher Terry
9-22-16, 5:56pm
Confused about the switching out home decor. So you have different house decorations for different times of the year? Great job on the weight loss.
Chicken lady
9-22-16, 6:52pm
I do have different house decorations for different times of the year. Also, I have different functional items for different times of the year - the light, cream colored throw on the couch that dh throws over his lap when he watches tv for example, will be replaced with a heavier one in autumn colors. And then by a warm winter one which has a friend that goes over the back of my chair because I'll want a blanket too.
the summer grocery list pad from the fridge got used up this year, so I'll buy a new one (maybe on clearance) but first I'll get the fall one out of my desk. I rotate my dish towels and retire old ones to the pottery studio each season (the really bad ones go to my classroom for kids who forgot theirs and then get thrown out)
etc.
Teacher Terry
9-23-16, 2:39pm
I have different functional items too like warmer throws for the same reason as you. I used to have different seasonal decorations but got rid of most of it. I have a few Halloween and xmas decorations and that is it. I used to do all the holidays.
freshstart
9-23-16, 5:01pm
once the kids got older, I stopped decorating for all the holidays. Now I just do Christmas because I enjoy it. But I do just a door wreath and a tree.
My dear MIL changes her decor every month for that month's theme (Valentine's, St. Patrick's, etc....) and she does a big Xmas and winter thing and it just seems so exhausting to me.
I do very little for holidays - some years a tree, some not, depending on the mood. What I really want during the holidays is maximum light and the tree always seems to suck the light out of the room during the daytime. Instead I usually put out a couple of extra lamps around the house and candles in every room. I also add in more rich colors like ruby red throw pillows and blankets. In warmer months I try to keep the house more spacious and light.
Chicken lady
9-23-16, 5:41pm
I love holidays! Every month would be a bit much, but I do change stuff around for fall, Halloween, thanksgiving, and Christmas. (A lot of the Halloween/thanksgiving is just fall stuff that stays out from September to December though.) then I do winter, with usually a little kitchen/table touch up for Valentine's Day - mostly food!, sometimes fancy towels and candles in the bath/bedroom, spring, Easter, May Day flowers, and summer, with again, kitchen touch ups for July 4th. I also do birthdays.
my Christmas tree goes in a corner of the room that is poorly lit and I COVER it with lights. I put lights up everywhere!
Teacher Terry
9-23-16, 7:21pm
I love the holidays too but got tired of all the decorating about 8 years ago. Gradually I got rid of most of my stuff. YOu can stillmake the house festive without a ton of stuff. When my kids were little I decorated all the rooms including the bathroom. Now I just use holiday towels.
Chicken lady
9-26-16, 7:27am
Well, my fall hadn't gotten off to a particularly great start. I lost my focus over the weekend, starting by skipping out on my exercise routine on Friday because I was tired, and continuing through eating way too many baked goods over the weekend, allowing my sleep schedule to shift drastically, and wasting time on-line (memo to self, Netflix is for exercising.)
i'm tired, my house is messy and I gained two pounds.
but hey, I am starting again - from a position 5 lbs lighter and with less styrofoam and more siding on the house!
i have a meal plan for the week, I have a grocery list, I have a plan for the day. Charge!
Teacher Terry
9-26-16, 7:10pm
CL: I think part of the problem is that you really have to much to do. Between the farm, house and work chores no time left for you to unwind and be lazy. And if you do then other things don't get done. I find that when I am losing weight it will go up and down. I think it is part of the process but of course I hate it when the #'s rise. Hugs:))
Chicken lady
9-26-16, 8:34pm
I have time to unwind and be lazy.
today I spent an hour talking on the phone with my mom while I brushed my bunny in the sun on a beautiful fall day.
i also took my daughter out to dinner and then hung out with her in the pottery studio for a while.
i have finished almost everything on my list. I still need to do evening chores and set up the coffee, but I expect to be in bed before 10.
i don't have time to watch sitcoms or read random articles that do not enrich my life (do I really need to scroll through all the awards fashion photos? - no.)
and I can be perfectly happy with an apple and a cookie instead of six cookies.
Sounds good Chicken Lady- time to breathe and do what you enjoy.
Chicken lady
10-7-16, 7:29am
I have been letting the laundry and the house slide and this week I was reduced to washing underwear the night before it is needed (again, like when the kids were home) also behind on dishes and processing milk. Living with piles of books and papers all over the surfaces again.
yeaterday was my birthday. I needed to catch up at home, I intended to throw pots in the studio, I ended up doing neither - I read for a while in the morning and then realized I needed to go to the feed store. Once at the feed store I remembered that I was almost halfway to the goodwill store, which gives you half off on your birthday. Then because I had activated my birthday discount, I decided to seeing home in a wide curve and hit some other good wills. And stop at the store where I sell pottery to get my September check.
The store owner gave me a scented candle for my birthday. I'm not really into scented candles.
so, now my house is worse, my kitchen smells like a scented candle, and I made no pots.
I bought:
a rack I thought would work for drying pottery bats (53 cents),
three skirts I like but don't need,
a new (with tags) bathrobe that I apparently do need - (dh was relieved to hear the ratty old one is going),
a white blouse that I have been searching for to go with many things,
a fun purple blazer I definitely don't need,
a basket I liked but definitely don't need,
the exact bat drying rack I had been looking for (it's actually a cd rack) but I had already bought the other one,
a stack of circular foam placemats that I will use for pot trimming
a bookshelf to go in the studio (I plan to clear a different one out)
a small dresser that is basically what I have been looking for for dd2's old room, but it needs to be repainted - I bought myself another project
a swing chair to go out by the pond and replace the old one that is no longer safe. (Slats old, worn, and breaking)
a bin to pack up some of dd1's stuff that can go to her new house (so that I can have my bin that the stuff is currently in back - this bin isn't the same brand, so it won't stack neatly with mine)
i spent about $35. I should have redonated the first rack at the second thrift store.
i used to do this every year and get a lot more stuff - a lot for the kids though. Somehow this time it wasn't much fun. I'm glad I have the useful things and the ones I've been wanting, and that they were so cheap, but I kind of wish I had just stayed home and thrown pots.
i need to clean out my closet again too. I need to find three skirts and a blazer (or sweater or jacket) to get rid of.
today I feel like "normal" ( a more mentally healthy attitude toward stuff) is overrated.
Teacher Terry
10-7-16, 2:49pm
Holy sh@t!thumbsup!
Chicken lady
10-7-16, 3:04pm
More words?
Teacher Terry
10-7-16, 3:33pm
A picture is worth a thousand words.
Chicken lady
10-7-16, 3:49pm
Well, that picture blinks and bothers my eyes and says (take your pick:
I'm shocked, I'm surprised, I'm disgusted, that is a ton of stuff, what bad choices, that was a rough day, I didn't know goodwill did that, you used to get more stuff? What a temptation for a hoarder, you wasted a lot of money, you're hopeless, poor you, why would anyone be happier if they were less functional?, it's easy to trigger you, none of the above (I could keep going....)
so more words maybe?
Teacher Terry
10-7-16, 3:51pm
I was shocked and sad.
iris lilies
10-7-16, 4:23pm
CL, you don't have to use a cheesy scented candle that someone gave you. Some of them are pretty awful.
I am sorry you took in a dresser that you will now have to devote your life energy to fixing up. As a grifter of free furniture I see a fair amount and any more, ignore most of it. But dressers seem to be the 2nd most common piece of free furniture. Tables are #1. Around here, in alleys anyways.
:)
Chicken lady
10-7-16, 4:32pm
Well, this one is pretty, and well made - nice dovetails on the drawers, smooth sliders, solid wood, but somebody painted it black.
I have been been looking for a good deal on a dresser this size for a couple of years. It has a spot to go, it's just, somebody painted it black.....
the candle I just put down on the table.
Chicken lady
10-8-16, 8:27am
So teacher terry, mulling this over.
No one who knows me in real life would be at all shocked, so perhaps I present better here, or you just have more faith in my recovery.
try again, fail better.... I'm currently wavering back and forth at a 9-10 lb weight loss and wanting to drop 5 more. My dehoarding is probably at a simlar stage of accomplishment. - 2/3 of the way there. I don't know, maybe 4/5, the basement was pretty bad. The book and paper mess is mostly library books and work papers.
today I am going to the renfest with my daughter. I love it and go every year. I intend to shop. There is a lot of crap there, but there are also nice, handmade pieces from semi-local artisans. My broom was grown, harvested, stitched, and carved entirely by a seller at renfest - the only broom handle I will ever need again - he will re-straw it, but after 5 years, it still looks new. It hangs on my kitchen wall because it is beautiful. I want to start my Christmas shopping, and I need more hand lotion (a lovely heavy beeswax bar from the bee keeper's wife that is kind to potters hands. I'm thinking about a new dress, but will probably be unable to pull the trigger again. Mine is showing wear, but still "festival best" for my station in life....
early morning
10-8-16, 12:27pm
Chicken Lady, I think you are doing really well - change can be hard, even when we know we need to do it to get to where we ultimately want to be.
Enjoy Renfest. I've been thinking that maybe next year we will go - I've not been in years. This year's vacation is already planned, so no extra money to go this fall. I didn't know GW had a birthday club!! I've been avoiding them other than as a donation site, I prefer Valley Thrift on the half-price holidays. But I have been really good about just not going. I do need some new clothes - my boss keeps talking about "professional" attire and it's probably me that's annoying him, I'm clean and neat but getting a little threadbare. When I find something I like, I wear it well past its expiration date. I don't buy trendy clothing, or much clothing in general, so it's not a style issue, but a worn-around-the-edges issue...
We currently have no livestock at all, and I think we're going to drop our farm policy and stop worrying about the fence upkeep. I may get a few hens again in the spring, but they are easy on fencing, compared to sheep or cattle. Just to clarify - we are not farmers, nor was the livestock ours - we rented (traded) out the pasture, small as it is, for many years. Our last old farmer friend has passed away, and I don't feel like dealing with the next generation, so we've just been telling people that the back fence is down and we aren't going to fix it.
Hang in there, you have a lot to do, and we all only have 24 hours in a day, some of which must be spent sleeping! Having more to do will not change that!!
If you are 2/3 or 4/5 there, that is really wonderful. If you need the chest, you need it. I think that soap sounds great!
I am going through a point of questioning my relationship with thrift shops and garage sales. I am definitely buying less, but I wonder sometimes if I should start buying all new, just so that I accumulate less and think about it more. It is counter-intuitive to me, as I definitely worry about money. But when the thrifted toaster broke last month, I paid 29 dollars for a new stainless steel waring one at Menards. I hope it will last a long time.
I am also thinking that if and when I love weight, I am going to celebrate by buying new clothes, not thrifted ones. I tend to buy too much at thrifts because nothing is ever quite right, and maybe if I bought something that was right, I would buy less? I don't know, I live on a farm, too, and it is very very difficult not to accumulate for the future as you have to be pretty self sufficient if you live in the country.
I don't want a minimalized decor but I would like everything I have to be in use and what I love and what I feel to be beautiful.
I don't buy at thrifts so much because of the money saved--except I enjoy buying for pennies on the dollar--but for the treasure hunt experience. For the most part, I love my thrifted clothes, but if I want a specific item I will pay (likely discounted) retail. I have never been able to comfortably pay full price for clothes (I still remember doing so, wore the garment once, donated it). Oddly, I'll pay full price for shoes without thinking twice.
iris lilies
10-8-16, 1:43pm
I don't buy at thrifts so much because of the money saved--except I enjoy buying for pennies on the dollar--but for the treasure hunt experience. For the most part, I love my thrifted clothes, but if I want a specific item I will pay (likely discounted) retail. I have never been able to comfortably pay full price for clothes (I still remember doing so, wore the garment once, donated it). Oddly, I'll pay full price for shoes without thinking twice.
I dont even know what "full price" means. It is all a big scam.
I mourn the JC Penney experiment a few years ago where they declared "no more sales" and they cut prices of their products and kept prices there forever more. That experiment didnt work, the sheeple public wants to thnk they are getting a deal.
I shop so seldom for new stuff, especially clothing, that I dont know or care about sales. Its all done with mirrors, anyway.
And, it is the inveterate shoppers, with their houses jammed full of stuff, who will always regale me with tales of how much they saved. Um no, they didnt "save" anything, they spent $$$.
Yeah, the Penney thing was like the Saturn thing--remember that, the big pitch was everyone pays sticker price.
I did love my Saturn.... Oddly, two of my three kids have Saturns still.
I dont even know what "full price" means. It is all a big scam.
I mourn the JC Penney experime a few years ago where they declared "no more sales" and they cut prices of their products and kept prices there forever more. That experiment didnt work, the sheeple public wants to thnk. They are getting a deal.
I shop so seldom for new stuff, especially clothing, that I dont know or care about sales. Its all done with mirrors, anyway.
And, it is the inveterate shoppers, with their houses jammed full of stuff, who will always regale me withh tales of how much they saved. Um no, they didnt "save" anything, they spent $$$.
Haha--gulity as charged! I think the markup on clothing is part of my reluctance to pay more than I have to. I haven't bought much in the way of clothes for a couple of years, but I've made up for that with other things. Fortunately, I have no one to answer to except myself. I'm at the "can't take it with you" stage of life. :devil:
Chicken lady
10-8-16, 6:21pm
Well, in my case the penny's expirement didn't work because the "everyday low price" was too high and I only shopped there on sale before - if they had just left - for example- the shirts dh wears for work at the $17.50 I was used to paying for them with an occaisional coupon bonus, I would have bought them in spite of the no coupon, but they set them at $22 and I bought $18 Macy's shirts instead (with my Macy's card discount added on). Macy's is on my way to work, Penneys is a special trip.
i have always loved the treasure hunt, but it just wasn't much fun on Thursday.
renfest was great - the weather was beautiful, I had great company, and it was a lot of fun.
we watched the shows, I bought lunch instead of eating the fruit and carrots from the car because they finally have some good vegetarian options, I talked myself out of a new dress again, and also a leather pouch. I didn't find any Christmas presents, but I spent a fortune on skin care. I know how long the stuff lasts though, and it's natural products at under seventy five cents a day, which is well worth it to me to not have my hands cracking and bleeding!
i've also been thinking about the "spending money in line with my values" issue, and it occurred to me that one of the things I love about the renfest is the music, so I bought two cd's from a street musician, one of which I'm enjoying now.
i threw four pots yesterday on top of teaching, but no studio stuff yet today.
now to swing my house back into line.
I may be heading to a thrift store on Sunday, hoping I don't find something I think I need.
Also be going to LL Bean--their boots are included in their 20% off $50 sale. Last year I found a fake pair of their moc slip-ons and wore them out. Now I want the real thing and figure it's an investment and won't ever have to repurchase again. The fit is a bit odd on these so I figure someone in the store will help me choose the right size.
If I get these boots, it will definitely be time to retire (to the trash) the cutest rubber shoes ever, a pair I bought in England around 1991ish. The top is tearing off, and my feet seem to be expanding to a wider width so my toes are a bit squished. Ten years ago I tried to throw them away but had to rescue them.
There is truth to the saying "Buy once, buy right". For my job I needed black non-slip shoes and bought a cheap pair at Payless for $35; not the cheapest but they seemed comfy. Since August I've had mega blisters and developed corns and can barely walk halfway through my day. Two weeks ago I spent $65 on a pair of Skechers works shoes and OMG! I'm in heaven. Shoulda bought them first. My shoe collection is small, but becoming high quality. They're something I don't mind spending a bit more money for.
Chicken lady
10-8-16, 9:04pm
Pony mom, if you are hoping you don't find something you think you need, why are you going to the thrift store?
Pony mom, if you are hoping you don't find something you think you need, why are you going to the thrift store?
My mom is coming too and she loves going to thrift stores.
Chicken lady
10-9-16, 8:27am
Ah.
We left the thrift store empty handed, thank goodness. Got my Bean boots and am in love with them already! Now, to work myself up to throwing out those old cute shoes. Usually I'll put them on the side someplace and ask someone else to get rid of them later and not tell me.
Chicken lady
10-10-16, 7:55am
Glad you got to spend time with your mom and escape unencumbered.
my environment is a little better today - after I talked to dh about feeling overwhelmed, he stepped up and helped out. It's not really there yet though.
i didn't monitor my food intake all weekend, and I am up 2.5 lbs. it didn't help that dh bought a box of donuts yesterday to cheer me up. Changing old patterns is hard.....
i've had two days in a row with no work in the studio.
dd is still sleeping and I've been lazy this morning. I'm about to go out (late) to do my chores. Then, if she's still not up I'll work around the house until I can talk over plans for the day with her. We're going to the apple orchard (annual trip) and I'm definitely working in the studio today. Hopefully she'll want to come out and join me.
Chicken lady
10-10-16, 8:33pm
I got back in the studio (with dd) and enjoyed the apple picking. Made dinner and baked, and did my new "15 minutes on an unfinished project".
Today's project was moving the garlic bed. Previously I got as far as planting other things in the old garlic bed. Today in 15 minutes I sorted through the lumber pile and found all but one corner post for a raised bed (scrubbing and cutting will be needed) and set them aside near a scrubbing location.
i did not exercise or paint boards (7 to go)
i did did gain ground on the laundry and pretty much catch up on dishes. I've decided I need to go back to doing laundry every day, because the washing part takes very little interactive time and if I get behind, the putting away becomes overwhelming, and then I am living in a sea of baskets of clean laundry.
Teacher Terry
10-11-16, 6:17pm
It is really hard to lose weight as you age. I think you are doing well in this area. It also sounds like you have more wins then losses in your decluttering. I just feel sad when I see you go backward. We went to some fall fairs with tons of vendors and lots of good things to eat. We bought some candy, caramel apples and 4 bottles of wine. I decided if I could not consume it I didn't want it. It was fun and relaxing. We took our RV and 4 doggies and stayed 4 days. It is a 3 hour drive and a beautiful area in the fall. We also had a hot tub which was nice. One day we did some wine tasting and on another some beer tasting. Nike hiking area too.
Chicken lady
10-11-16, 8:57pm
I subbed today and finished glazing the pots for the class I've been taking - so we'll call that studio time.
i did not exercise, but I cooked and ate a healthy dinner. Close to even on the dishes. Progress on laundry. Up by 19 items I brought home finished from my class - I won't keep all of them long term, but I'm fairly pleased with the work and will keep most of them out for a while. I'm really happy with the set of 6 mugs and the decorative pumpkin. Dh really likes the folded vase.
down by four huge spools of yarn I donated to school today (each bigger than a lunch box)
i technically didn't spend 15 minutes on an unfinished project, but I did spend more than 15 minutes pulling stuff out from under the basement stairs, and the basement is sort of a project.
Chicken lady
10-14-16, 7:21am
So yesterday I looked at the clock when dh left and decided that since I had ten hours until I needed to start dinner, I would list ten things to do.
i finished 8 of them. Turns out even though I could stack some (45 minutes of exercise while the pound cake was in the oven) too many took more than an hour (bake cookies, catch up on laundry) also I didn't allow any time for dishes or for my dd or my mil calling me, and I didn't know that I would end up helping a friend load livestock when I went to pick up hay.
as UA says - I have too many things to do.
i'm doing well with my weight though. The sticker chart on the fridge for exercising really helps. I think I need to make physical, visible reminders for my 15 minutes of project time and working in the studio too. It's just how my brain works.
also, I found that it is easier to resist snacking at night if I think of it in terms of time - I can sit at the table and eat a bowl of ice cream, OR, I can finish straightening up the guest room. I was really nice to look into a neat, clean guest room this morning. The sense of accomplishment definitely beats getting on the scale and regretting the ice cream.
i still don't like to cook, but I am doing it. Dinner last night was really good. Unfortunately, last night was not a night that dh decided to help with dishes, so all the dirty dishes are still all over my kitchen. After baking for him half the day and cleaning up from that, I was done.
i'm going to leave for work in a few minutes, and dinner tonight is leftovers, so they can wait.
dh has agreed to finish cleaning out the closet under the stairs this weekend and to get rid of some suitcases (even though I am the hoarder, there are still a few areas where he is the one keeping stuff.)
Teacher Terry
10-14-16, 3:36pm
Having a dishwasher really helps me keep the kitchen clean. YOu do have too many things to do:))
I have had a couple times, 2 years each, without a dishwasher. It is a lot of work when you also cook a lot. I am very happy to have one, especially since I usually have the handwash items piling up!
Chicken lady
10-14-16, 7:56pm
I do have a dishwasher.
Today was pretty good:
healthy food
good day at work
exercise
a little bit of pottery
i need to to find my second wind for chores and a few other tasks.
I wash dishes the old-fashioned way, and my hands don't really like. I have rubber gloves but don't like those either.
Chicken lady
10-15-16, 8:15am
sandy, I wash my hands constantly, moving from barn to food to cleaning to garden to having my hands covered in clay... Especially the clay!
i invest in really good beeswax lotion bars that I get at the renfest. They also have a website if you want it, but they're pricey. Well worth it to me....
today we we slept in. I'm going to bake bread and do chores this morning, then help dh with the siding. I have a list of other things, but I'm not sure which ones I'll get in today.
i invest in really good beeswax lotion bars that I get at the renfest.
Not that you need more items on your to do list Chicken Lady, but those expensive beeswax lotion bars are super simple to make and the ingredients aren't that expensive. I use equal parts beeswax, shea butter and coconut oil. I melt the beeswax first because it takes longer then throw in the other stuff, stir it up and pour into a mold. You can add some essential oil if you like (I usually add lavender). I typically get the beeswax and shea butter from soap supply companies or on Etsy. The coconut oil is from the grocery store.
Zoe Girl
10-15-16, 10:29am
good reminder Herbgeek, I wanted to give my daughter all the ingredients to make some lotions for her holiday present. She has severe excema and likes to do crafty things. I thought she would like to have all the stuff to mix up her own lotions. I need to start getting holiday gifts a little at a time now to spread out the cost so this is perfect timing.
Chicken lady
10-15-16, 11:36am
I was at the library last week, and there was a book called "make the bread, buy the butter". I didn't check it out, but the premise was that there are some things worth investing the time in and other things where you should just opt for convenience. I do make soap - I have goats for the milk. I think I'll let the fair lady make the lotion bars. It supports local beekeeping and a small (home based?) local business.
but thank you. Maybe when I run out of projects... LOL>8):treadmill:
Soap is way more time consuming than these lotion bars. I have a batch of a dozen plus in less than 5 minutes (I use the microwave to melt). But to each their own.
I think it is the water not the soap.
Chicken lady
10-16-16, 8:00pm
So today, besides chores,
i woke up without an alarm
did a load of laundry
made 3 lbs of cheese
helped dh with some porch trim
painted the last 4 boards for the porch
ate middle of the road
made soup from scratch
spent some time on pottery
finiahed emptying and swept the under stairs closet
and got all the pieces cut for my garlic bed
I didn't keep up with the dishes or exercise, but I don't generally exercise on Sundays.
shearing my goat and planting this garlic are becoming very time critical.
Also getting pottery done for holiday sales and getting the basement in shape so that it's nice for dd or ds to sleep down there on thanksgiving break.
So today, besides chores,
i woke up without an alarm
did a load of laundry
made 3 lbs of cheese
helped dh with some porch trim
painted the last 4 boards for the porch
ate middle of the road
made soup from scratch
spent some time on pottery
finiahed emptying and swept the under stairs closet
and got all the pieces cut for my garlic bed
I didn't keep up with the dishes or exercise, but I don't generally exercise on Sundays.
shearing my goat and planting this garlic are becoming very time critical.
Also getting pottery done for holiday sales and getting the basement in shape so that it's nice for dd or ds to sleep down there on thanksgiving break.
My day paralleled yours.
Woke up without alarm clock.
Did load of laundry.
Made long delayed lavender wreath.
Made apple crisp (gluten free!)
Ate apple crisp with vanilla icecream for lunch.
Planted 22 apple trees (transplanted them from tubs; grew from seed)
Finished dissembling the watermelon bed and mowed it.
Picked half of the apple tree in the front yard.
Went out to store and did some Christmas shopping and obtained coffee grounds for the apple trees.
Fertilized the 22 new apple trees with coffee grounds.
Got my new class ready to open tomorrow for my students. Changed syllabus because schedule has been changed because of hurricane.
Got my two ongoing classes reorganized because my students were affected by hurricane, made judgment call on how much they can accomplish in next two weeks. 2 hours total teaching.
Finished weekly coursework for two courses I am taking. Five hours total.
Ate soup.
Peeled a quart of apples from the sink full of apples from the half of apple tree in front yard.
And that's a wrap!
Chicken lady
10-16-16, 8:57pm
I am trying to imagine planting 22 apple trees in one day. How big are they?!
also I just ate a bowl of ice cream (technically frozen custard) and I think I'll blame you.
Chicken lady
11-12-16, 7:57pm
Up and down, up and down....
i exceeded my my weight loss goal, not on purpose, but I ate a real dinner tonight, so we'll see where I land in the next few days.
through no fault of my own I need to be in two places at once Friday night, but I'm hoping the first - important - will be fast enough to let me catch the second - urgent (personal goal, not to ignore the important- values - things in favor of those that are merely urgent - time pressure)
i'm doing a really good job with my exercise, and though I haven't been sleeping well, I've been making a point of going to bed (I woke up at 4:30 this morning)
household stuff is is going ok, I'm slowly carving order into my environment, work is good.
i need to revisit my time use now that the exterior of the house is done.
friday was bad though. Something important to me got cancelled and I consoled myself with a trip to goodwill. I am trying to ask myself "is this a project, or a solution" before I buy something, but I undid the progress I made on my closet by buying three dresses (I have lost 20 lbs...) one of which needs spaghetti straps added, and a really nice coat that needs the lining mended. Both sewing projects easily in my ability, but still projects.
i also bought a heavy cat cutting board for ds for Christmas that I want to sand so it looks new (he won't mind that it's used and I will tell him), and a small set of drawers that looked useful and was a really good deal. I don't know where I'm going to put it, but dd2 is moving into an unfurnished house next fall and I promised her some drawers, so these or some I already have. (These are particle board, but nicely finished, I also have plastic sterlite which is what I was planning to clean out for her.)
and I bought a pair of simple black leather heels, but those have been on my "buy them if you find them" list for two years, and they were $4.
I watched an episode of Dateline, and tried--unsuccessfully--to take a nap.
Also I started to clean out my bathroom cupboard. I have enough toothpaste to last the rest of my life, or until my teeth fall out, whichever comes first.
iris lilies
11-12-16, 9:07pm
Today I did three things:
1) took foster dog Lily Bean to a promotional event for two hours
2) waited in line 1.5 hours to get a load of very very very low priced dog food, given out to rescue organizations
3) went to a play at the premier theater company in town, paid a ridiculous $67 and couldnt even park for free in their lot for "subscribers only" and am reevaluating the need to see a play where every member of the cast is an
equity actor. My city has half a dozen theatrical companies where tickets never go above $40.00 and Equity actors are sprinkled throughout the cast. I think those productions are good enough for me.
Got up at 7:30 and worked til about 12:30.
Hung laundry on the line.
Stopped on way to movies to mail my dad an article about the lighthouses used on Lake Michigan as target practice in WWII, since we had just been discussing this at great length, for some reason.
Went to see Arrival. I liked aspects of it but left very confused.
Stopped and bought groceries on way back.
Going up to watch an episode of The Crown, which I am really enjoying.
catherine
11-12-16, 9:30pm
Today I did three things:
1) took foster dog Lily Bean to a promotional event for two hours
2) waited in line 1.5 hours to get a load of very very very low priced dog food, given out to rescue organizations
3) went to a play at the premier theater company in town, paid a ridiculous $67 and couldnt even park for free in their lot for "subscribers only" and am reevaluating the need to see a play where every member of the cast is an
equity actor. My city has half a dozen thatrical company where tickets never go above $40.00 and Equity actors are sprinkled throught the cast. I think those productiOns are good enough for me.
You had a very good day--you supported doggies and actors. That makes you a hero in my book! Know that when you are supporting a play with union actors, you are supporting the actors themselves. As awakenedsoul could probably tell you, actors would work for free in too many cases, so their being backed by a union is absolutely essential to their ability to earn a living from their craft. My son was Equity and SAG and I have the utmost respect for those unions.
I'm intrigued by the plot of Arrival. And I never see movies. I still haven't watched Dallas Buyers' Club. (Note to self...)
Jane, I am either going to have to see it again to understand it or get the Cliff notes.
JaneV2.0
11-12-16, 10:34pm
I read a review of it that was as inscrutable as the movie apparently is. But the reviewer thought it was good, and probably an instant classic of its genre.
iris lilies
11-12-16, 10:38pm
I read a review of it that was as inscrutable as the movie apparently is. But the reviewer thought it was good, and probably an instant classic of its genre.
Great reviews i am hearing, so it is first on my list.
iris lilies
11-12-16, 10:42pm
You had a very good day--you supported doggies and actors. That makes you a hero in my book! Know that when you are supporting a play with union actors, you are supporting the actors themselves. As awakenedsoul could probably tell you, actors would work for free in too many cases, so their being backed by a union is absolutely essential to their ability to earn a living from their craft. My son was Equity and SAG and I have the utmost respect for those unions.
oh ok, good. The thing is, I really can afford a differential between $67 and $40, so why bitch and moan about it! I need to tell myself this!
JaneV2.0
11-12-16, 11:12pm
As I mentioned earlier, I'm in the "You can't take it with you" stage of life. Bitch and moan; go anyway, I say.
Chicken lady
11-13-16, 9:06am
Last night I slept ten hours. I feel like a bear coming out of hibernation. Except not hungry, just blinky and bleary.
today I am going to take it slow.
My goals are:
move a table that I left somewhere "for now" and then yesterday buried in stuff temporarily while I am organizing my room in the basement so that dh can reach the furnace filter and change it.
clear everything off the dining table by making decisions and putting it back in the china cabinet or the donate pile or the "ask kids" pile.
clean the chimney (this is why I have to clear off the table - I cover the table with an old sheet while we do the chimney)
paint sone ornaments for the bazaar next weekend.
dh just told me he will help me move the stuff on the table back and forth if I don't finish because he wants to clean the chimney before lunch and he doesn't want me to stuff it all back in the basement. Which is supernice of him.
Chicken lady
11-15-16, 6:01pm
I did the things on that list except i didn't finish the table items.
today I went out in the world and talked to people. Now I have committed to two more projects and gotten excited about a third. Did I finish any projects? - no. I should stay away from people.
sweetana3
11-15-16, 6:08pm
Learn to say no. Mom had to do it when people started to demand things from her and she lost the time to do what she wanted to do.
Chicken lady
11-15-16, 6:14pm
The biggest problem is that these are all things I want to do. Am I doing any of them? no. I'm sitting by the fire reading stuff online trying to find the energy to make dinner. Because I don't want to make dinner, but I do want to have made dinner.
Today I
worked all morning
went to a local Dem meeting mid day
ate a hamburger
helped desensitize our phobic golden retriever to riding in the truck
admired my husband's staining job of trailer for said truck
worked 3 hours
going out to another meeting
It always feels like I don't do much but actually that looks like a lot when I list it
Chicken lady
12-1-16, 10:27am
Things that came into my life yesterday, categorized as "project, problem, or solution". not counting purchased groceries):
2 quarts of milk - project, I will not drink milk as fast as it is being produced, so the milk must be turned into ice cream, cheese, candy, or soap.
plastic bag and hanger that came with dh mended pants - Problem. I will use the bag to cover work in my studio. I put the hanger in the closet. I need neither, why didn't I refuse them?!
pizza crust from my class that will be fed to my chickens this morning - solution. (Reduced feed cost, reduced landfill)
two picture frames from goodwill - project
Lodge cast iron pan from goodwill - project/solution. Will be cleaned up and given to ds for Christmas. Saves money and avoids buying something new.
clearanced pot of mums - project/solution. They were only $2.50, I have been wanting some mums, and I have a space to plant them, but now I need to plant them. Also, problem - the pot.
Mail ordered Christmas gifts - solution/project. Gifts will be wrapped and given, boxes need to be stripped of tape and laid out as mulch, packing plastic needs to go to my classroom.
things that "left" my life yesterday:
bag of batteries I finally remembered to drop in the recycling at work.
two broken, unglazed pots I tossed in the rocks behind the bulkhead supporting our bridge - the pots will freeze and thaw and eventually become gravel/sand and the infill has been settling.
i also returned some library books.
so far today I am up two more quarts of milk. (A gallon is a 30 minute batch of mozerella, but I think I want ice cream.)
iris lilies
12-1-16, 11:02am
Things that came into my life yesterday, categorized as "project, problem, or solution". not counting purchased groceries):
2 quarts of milk - project, I will not drink milk as fast as it is being produced, so the milk must be turned into ice cream, cheese, candy, or soap.
plastic bag and hanger that came with dh mended pants - Problem. I will use the bag to cover work in my studio. I put the hanger in the closet. I need neither, why didn't I refuse them?!
pizza crust from my class that will be fed to my chickens this morning - solution. (Reduced feed cost, reduced landfill)
two picture frames from goodwill - project
Lodge cast iron pan from goodwill - project/solution. Will be cleaned up and given to ds for Christmas. Saves money and avoids buying something new.
clearanced pot of mums - project/solution. They were only $2.50, I have been wanting some mums, and I have a space to plant them, but now I need to plant them. Also, problem - the pot.
Mail ordered Christmas gifts - solution/project. Gifts will be wrapped and given, boxes need to be stripped of tape and laid out as mulch, packing plastic needs to go to my classroom.
things that "left" my life yesterday:
bag of batteries I finally remembered to drop in the recycling at work.
two broken, unglazed pots I tossed in the rocks behind the bulkhead supporting our bridge - the pots will freeze and thaw and eventually become gravel/sand and the infill has been settling.
i also returned some library books.
so far today I am up two more quarts of milk. (A gallon is a 30 minute batch of mozerella, but I think I want ice cream.)
Your mentions of milk remind me how I felt for many years about our garden produce. DH brings it in by the armfuls and dumps it on the kitchen counter. We have one whole section of counter for produce.
I once felt as though I was a slave to the produce coming in. But now Ive learned to let much of it go to compost. We give away what we can when we can, the rest goes to compost. I am not respnsible for the spikes of productin, the up and down of it. It is what it is, we use was we can use and we jettison the rest.
Milk is more valuable than vegetables, I get that, but still. Your " must do" thinking about processing the milk could be adjusted.
Good score on the iron pan, I wish mine were Lodge.
Chicken lady
12-1-16, 11:09am
I have adjusted to the idea that milk not used or processed quickly enough is chicken food.
but I still want ice cream, and I do not have a full winter supply of cheese on hand. Nor do I have an adequate supply of soap. I will only be milking (at reducing levels) for another month or two, then 10- 14 weeks with no milk. (I have a drinking supply frozen)
we hum the sorcerers apprentice song when we bring in the produce. But I had no garden last year, and now I am eagerly awaiting the produce flood of 2017!
I guess if I had that much milk I'd be looking at
a. reducing the milk intake, but I know you have goats, so I am guessing this is goat milk, and you still have it
b. feeding it to other animals like chickens or pigs
c. producing an artisan product for a restaurant
When I have felt overwhelmed by projects, I have had to reduce the intake of these project situations. So in your list, I would consider the following-
could I have the Christmas gifts shipped directly to the person, instead of having all that packing come to me?
plant mums immediately and drop pot back at store where you got them?
great score on cast iron pot, no suggestions--seems a perfect solution to a problem
not buy anything from Goodwill unless I had an immediate use for it for a gift for someone else, thus avoiding anymore projects store in my house?
Take plastic and hanger back to place that mended them, once you have transported them safely and cleanly home?
I guess my theme would be to take in fewer projects at the source.
So if it is the goats producing milk, how many do you have and would a goat or two be useful to some other new farmer?
I am thinking this way because I am 60 now and am astonished at how much less energy I have and how difficult it seems to be to get through everything I should be getting through, and I have to simplify my project list a bit.
Chicken lady
12-1-16, 12:37pm
Tybee, those are all excellent thoughts, and I am open to hearing any suggestions.
believe it or not, I am working really hard at not taking in new projects - as my daughter says "I never get credit for all the bad things I don't do."
yesterday I did not sign up for the hair care products survey to help raise money for my school. (It involved a significant amount of driving and more than an hour of my time)
i have deleted every shopping offer in my e-mail without opening it after asking myself if I NEEDED anything from that source. I am not even going to look at the school book sale. I have stopped looking at dolls on e-bay.
Also yesterday, I did not stop in the rain and rescue the night stand from the garbage.
i only bought one pot of mums (don't think the grocery store will take the pot back)
i do give excess milk to the chickens. I used to sell cheese, but the laws changed and now I would need $30,000 in upgrades and licensing. I sometimes sell milk for pet use. I am breeding fewer goats this year (dry goats are very cheap to feed and my goats are pets as well as livestock.). I need to work on fencing to allow the goats to provide more services/eat less hay. (Project)
the people will be coming to me to exchange gifts. They also bring me their packaging when they come because I have uses for it and they do not, so it makes sense for it to come here, I just have to "do the thing." (More cardboard now = less weeding in spring, plastic bubbles go home protecting my students' work)
taking the plastic and hanger back are tempting, except that I think the store would throw them away instead of reusing them, and it is extra driving. I'm going to try to take it as a lesson in stopping flow at the source. Also (just thought!) I might stop tomorrow at the dry cleaner that is only 30ft of extra driving and see if they will take all my metal hangers.
so far today besides regular chores/dishes/laundry/fire, etc. I have one batch of icecream cooling in the fridge (when cool it will go in the ice cream maker) and I intend to make a second batch after I finish my tea. With drinking and the slightly "off" quart (not sour, just a hint of what people call "goaty") I gave the chickens, that will put me even over yesterday and today.
Teacher Terry
12-1-16, 1:37pm
IL: I like your approach. My DH started a garden this year and it is totally his job. We also have 3 fruit trees. He canned and froze some, we gave away a ton and threw away a ton also. I refuse to add to my work load. When unwanted items come into my life I immediately donate, throw away or put in the recycle bin. I would never bother returning a hanger to dry cleaner, etc. Just a precious waste of time. I don't agonize about that crap either. If I will donate I wait until I have a bag or 2 to take. Today I will take 100 scarfs I made for homeless shelter and 2 big bags of stuff for their thrift store.
l
Tybee, those are all excellent thoughts, and I am open to hearing any suggestions.
believe it or not, I am working really hard at not taking in new projects - as my daughter says "I never get credit for all the bad things I don't do."
yesterday I did not sign up for the hair care products survey to help raise money for my school. (It involved a significant amount of driving and more than an hour of my time)
i have deleted every shopping offer in my e-mail without opening it after asking myself if I NEEDED anything from that source. I am not even going to look at the school book sale. I have stopped looking at dolls on e-bay.
Also yesterday, I did not stop in the rain and rescue the night stand from the garbage.
i only bought one pot of mums (don't think the grocery store will take the pot back)
i do give excess milk to the chickens. I used to sell cheese, but the laws changed and now I would need $30,000 in upgrades and licensing. I sometimes sell milk for pet use. I am breeding fewer goats this year (dry goats are very cheap to feed and my goats are pets as well as livestock.). I need to work on fencing to allow the goats to provide more services/eat less hay. (Project)
the people will be coming to me to exchange gifts. They also bring me their packaging when they come because I have uses for it and they do not, so it makes sense for it to come here, I just have to "do the thing." (More cardboard now = less weeding in spring, plastic bubbles go home protecting my students' work)
taking the plastic and hanger back are tempting, except that I think the store would throw them away instead of reusing them, and it is extra driving. I'm going to try to take it as a lesson in stopping flow at the source. Also (just thought!) I might stop tomorrow at the dry cleaner that is only 30ft of extra driving and see if they will take all my metal hangers.
so far today besides regular chores/dishes/laundry/fire, etc. I have one batch of icecream cooling in the fridge (when cool it will go in the ice cream maker) and I intend to make a second batch after I finish my tea. With drinking and the slightly "off" quart (not sour, just a hint of what people call "goaty") I gave the chickens, that will put me even over yesterday and today.
Okay, an intriguing list of thoughts and actions to explore!
You daughter's quote is funny! But I wasn't criticizing you at all--just trying to think it all through.
Okay--the milk-- that 30k is appalling. But selling it as pet milk--intriguing! I might try putting up a sign at a pet food store or Tractor Supply that I have pet food goat milk for sale.
I would tell the people NOT to bring me their packaging because I have too much to do to discard their packaging, and I was not put here on earth to be a recycling center. I would make that my mantra, but ymmv. It doesn't make sense for them to bring their packaging to you if
a. it stresses you out
b. it makes more work for you
c. it continues the idea that you are the recycling director and will do their recycling for them
On that note, send out note at beginning of year and say that once a month you will send student work home IF they send in suitable packaging material--bubble wrap-- or pick up said work themselves. Then, on said afternoon, have coffee and cookies available and let the parents enjoy the artwork as they pick it up!
Get rid of metal hangers once and for all and do not accept them anymore--bring in your own hanger to exchange at the store, let them keep their d#mned metal hangers
If grocery store won't take pot back then stick it in their display area--they can deal with it, as they produced it.
I rescue living plants because they are living. I used to rescue nightstands and then I realized that I was keeping someone else from the joy of rescuing it, someone who needed it more than I did. I mentally release the nightstand to someone else. But I don't worry about rescuing inanimate objects anymore. And I know this is kind of moot since you bypassed the nightstand and did not pick it up, I got that. Just had to change my thinking as the nightstand has no feelings and does not need my rescue. (But I can't resist a plant.)
It sounds like you are really doing a great job thinking about all these things, mentally exploring your motivations, etc. Very inspiring, and I need to do the same--this is a good time of year to get to work on this.
Teacher Terry
12-1-16, 2:49pm
Just put the pot into recycling bin and problem solved.We actually have a recycling can that is as big as our garbage which they pick up every 2 weeks. It is way more full then our actual garbage can. Now I know if you live in the county you may have to take your recyclables some where else. I had to do that when I lived in a condo. Then I kept a big bin for that and when full dropped it off on my way home from work.
The question I keep asking myself is, do I want to accept this responsibility for this thing that is out there, and do I want to bring "more" into my life, and how will I pare down what I have if I bring more into my life, since I feel I am at my limit, somehow.
Chicken lady
12-1-16, 4:01pm
Tybee, I am in a very similar place.
teacher terry, type 5 pots do not recycle here. If I put it in the bin, I cause a problem.
i do like the idea of returning it to the store, but for now (bad words) I gave put it in my greenhouse, causing me to add "clean out greenhouse" to my list - which isn't so much a new job (the problem was already there) as a new awareness that the white footed field mice are currently getting more joy from the greenhouse than I.
The packaging is here. It makes different work for me, not more. I can only avoid it being here by doing a lot more driving to obtain desired or needed stuff. I want to send the kids work home and they want to take it home. Accepting that there will be packaging, and putting the packaging in my car and carrying it to my classroom helps with both of these wants while keeping material out of landfills, costing me less (gas to drive vs. free shipping) and reducing my impact on the environment (less driving, no consumption of new materials to send projects home). Untaping the cardboard, flattening it, and laying it in the garden is time consuming and annoying, but not as time consuming and annoying as digging out perennial weeds that have put taproot into clay. Also the time is used during seasons when I have fewer demands on my time. I am fascinated by these mythical coffee and cookies though, how do they appear?
I don't want to advertise the goat milk because I don't have too much for the chickens to consume and I don't really want random strangers coming to my house (I am an antisocial introvert). The small additional money wouldn't be worth it.
the hanger solution is definitely to avoid them, but for the hangers that are here, I don't see returning them as a waste of my time - there are a lot of hangers. If the dry cleaner can use them, my time, energy, and tiny additional gas consumption (it's 30ft, remember?) are more than repaid by avoiding land filling and use of new resources plus pollution to produce new hangers.
the mums are planted. The first batch of ice cream is almost done. Fed ex brought another box and I am spending too much time online today, but it is grey and cold and this conversation is helping me fight the depression and get things done.
Glad the conversation is helping fight depression! I definitely think that part of my seasonal depression is not wanting to deal with the "too much stuff" I have accumulated over the years.
We use cardboard to start new garden beds, too. On a farm, you are constantly thinking ahead and working ahead to the next season, right?
As to packaging, this year I used the shredded paper from shredding (ususally goes into the compost) as packing in my boxes to send out of town.
It feels so good to get stuff moving along!
Teacher Terry
12-1-16, 5:49pm
The amount of packaging now days is ridiculous. I know some of it is to make the item too big to shoplift but sick of cutting stuff out of cardboard and plastic and then it being tied into the box-ugh! Recycling is not mandatory here like in many places and lots of people don't bother. However, since we went to single stream recycling I see more containers out because it is easier. It's too bad about the pots not being recyclable. I should have figured that because you are so good at recycling.
Chicken lady
12-1-16, 10:25pm
So, I made two quarts of ice cream, ending ahead on milk. My kitchen is also cleaner this evening.
the plastic bag is in the car to go to school. Tomorrow is not a good day to stop with the hangers, but I am holding the idea for next week.
the chickens ate the pizza crust.
i framed two pictures from the basement. I didn't use the new frames, but I used larger ones and mats that I already had. I put the pictures in the spaces where I want to hang them, but didn't hang them because I feel like my furniture is still shifting around like leaves on a pond and I don't want a bunch of holes in the walls.
i haven't cleaned the pan yet because I want to do it when I am preheating the oven anyway.
I did get the spaghetti straps pinned (but not yet sewn) on the dress I want to wear Sunday - buying the dress knowing it needed the straps was a previous project.
The mums are planted, the pot in the greenhouse, the fancy paper that was around the pot went in the trash (laminated with plastic - doesn't recycle) I also threw away a styrofoam egg carton that had been worn out, so I feel like that balanced the pot.
the plastic packaging is in my car in the pants bag to go to school tomorrow. The boxes are in the pile waiting to be laid out.
i found a belt to put in the goodwill box when I was doing laundry and I recycled all the mail except a coupon.
i kept the fire going all day, I did my chores, I fed my husband, and talked with my mom and my daughter, I updated our calendar....
and i am still struggling against the headwinds of previous bad decisions - for example, when I planted the mums, I first discovered that during the recent construction on our house, the copper wire to ground the house was buried three inches deep down the center of one of my flower beds (wtf?) so I picked a new location. I needed compost to enrich the soil in the new location, which involved getting the small wheelbarrow which was full of mouse chewed luffa gourds - which I dumped in a field. Then I could get the dirt and plant the mums. So, I am down a wheelbarrow full of luffa gourds I never got processed, and I have a "new" problem with the flower bed. As mentioned I also discovered my greenhouse is a mouse resort. I intended to just dig a few small holes with a hand trowel and plug mums in, add some water and done. - yay, mums!
Nothing is ever simple and I am never sure if I am holding he chaos at bay, gaining ground, or slowly sinking. I think today I held it at bay.
finally went through the tubs stacked in one corner of the garage.........tooks lots of clothes to good will. The ones I was going to wear when I "magically" lose that 40 lbs. Took one 7x9 rug
that would take too much energy to clean. Stored some wedding items from 2 years ago in the attic. Cleaned out the china cabinet drawers and got rid of at least 2 doz napkins, rings, and other misc items. Still to do.........bottom of china cabinet and some kitchen cabinets, no telling what I will find.
Teacher Terry
12-2-16, 1:30pm
CL: you make me tired just reading all the stuff you do in your posts:))
Me, too, CL. I guess as long as you are happy, that's all that matters. I would not spend so much time with things and packaging, but if you enjoy doing all this and keeping track then more power to you!
Chicken lady
12-2-16, 9:40pm
Some days it exhausts me too.
Chores done, packaging at school, classes taught, kiln fired, hangers dropped off after all (by the car clock, two minutes from start of detour to back on original route), half mile swim, thrift store stop (I'm looking or some things) where I bought a high quality cream colored King sized sheet for $2.13 - backdrop/table cover for my pottery booth and possible someday quilt backing that will get tossed in with the next correctly colored load and then stored with my booth display components. Did not buy the immersible blender because it was $5 and my "buy trigger" for those is under $5 unless I am out (I burn through one every year or two, but currently have one at home, one at school, and one back up)
i need to to go close up the barn and change into pjs and curl up with a book. I'm leaving the dishes in the sink tonight.
Chicken lady
12-3-16, 8:39pm
Today was a resting at home day. I chose to skip the holiday fair I'd been planning to attend.
I did some baking ("breakfast cake" and a pound cake) caught up on the dishes, washed and dried a load of laundry, but didn't put it away, hung Christmas lights, read by the fire, finished putting straps on my dress and mended the lining in my "new" (black cashmere, $7.50 at thrift store) coat - 2 "projects" I had brought home finished - plus mended a bra, good as new.
dh worked on grading from the back of the barn to try to fix the barn drainage problem caused during the basement excavation (they filled in my ditch/swale/marshy area to drive across). We won't know how that worked until it rains again. He also read, watched football, brought in fire wood, and ate baked goods.
i'm up a little on packaging and milk again. It's that time of year. For the packaging anyway.
Chicken Lady - I think they way you divide things that come into you home into Project, Problem or Solution (or combo thereof) is brilliant! I am definitely going to steal it, if you don't mind. The less Problems and to some extent, Projects, we bring home, the less stress and work we make for ourselves. Thanks and keep up the good work!
Chicken lady
12-8-16, 6:27pm
I spent most of today in the kitchen.
i baked and froze an apple breakfast cake (I have 4 breakfast cakes worth of baking apples left that I would like to use up before they go by)
made applejack cake (new recipe using more apples which is definitely a dessert)
made sweet potato biscuits (used up 2 of the 4 baked sweet potatoes in the fridge and some milk)
and and made three wheels of cheese. I have less milk stored than I did at the beginning of December. By January I will probably be down to frozen.
i added a commitment to my calendar for January, but it is a doctor's visit. Dh Tried to make an appointment yesterday and found out we weren't patients anymore because we hadn't come in for more than 3 years. So I have a "new patient wellness visit" with the practice that I started using 20 years ago >8) in case I get sick and need a doctor.
i intended to also work in the studio today, but I think I am going to need to divide my says home into kitchen OR studio days, I don't transition well.
Chicken lady
12-8-16, 8:36pm
I don't have to make cheese all the time. I hope to make 5 or 6 more mozzarella by the end of the month. If I don't get to it, I will have to eat less mozzarella this winter. I also want to make two more flavors of ice cream. I like to make cheese when I am not feeling like I have to make too many in one day. 3 is good. 6 is manageable. When I was selling I would spend half the day and make a dozen or so, but that was work. (First cheese is half an hour, every additional cheese adds 15 minutes, but also the cleanup gets longer because of the jars, so six cheeses is about two hours.). Ice cream is less fun, but I really really like ice cream.
so, the milk is a solution to my cow dairy allergy, also a project if I consume it as anything other than milk (but still a solution - problem: I want ice cream, solution: make ice cream) and only a problem when I feel like I have too much milk (solution: give milk to chickens)
i do think everything coming in is one or more of the three. The apples were a problem and a project. Since you didn't want apples or pie, they were not a solution. The pie was a project and a solution to the apples, but also a problem because it was forced on you.
if you had chickens, you could have given the apples to the chickens instead of purchased chicken food, but then you would have to care for the chickens, which would be a problem if you don't enjoy caring for chickens.
Chicken lady
12-10-16, 10:06am
I was agreeing with you about the categories being value judgements. That's why finding balance in your life is so hard, you have to actually pay attention to how all the different forces act on You. You can't just find somebody else's plan and "do this."
Today I am very tired. It was a full week, so I slept in. I have a few more "ins" to confess from this week, a handful of advertising literature from the pottery studio with reference information that is useful for my class, a book (I fell prey to the school book sale after all), and a small pottery tool (toy) that I had been coveting for a while. The studio gave me a 40% off one item coupon (not good on consumables) for helping with the children's area at the sale, so I snapped it up.
also, my aunt and uncle sent a Christmas wreath, but that is consumable.
Chicken lady
12-22-16, 1:10pm
So the solstice is a time of taking stock and making changes for me.
if anyone remembers the whole can/soda thought exercise, I drank the last soda yesterday. Not drinking soda is healthier for me. Substituting water is cheaper, not having boxes of cans opens up a space in my storage cupboard, and even though the boxes and cans are recyclable, the whole process uses energy and resources for the purposes of income to the supply chain and enjoyment of something that at best does me no good on my end.
i am refocusing on my self care, to which end I remembered my vitamins and used moisturizer with sunblock thus morning. I also took the time to pick out and put on jewelry. I have a lot of it (not fancy) but tend to look at it more than wear it. Today I am doing the last of the stocking shopping with dh, so I dressed up a little.
ApatheticNoMore
12-22-16, 1:24pm
i am refocusing on my self care, to which end I remembered my vitamins and used moisturizer with sunblock thus morning.
self-care is good but I laughed at this, is there anywhere in north america, where sunblock is necessary in december? So little light is getting through, now in a few months or so then it's another matter and might be a good idea.
Though perhaps there is glare from snow, didn't think of that. For sure no sunblock for me in Cali for a few months, no UV is penetrating pretty much, not even enough for vitamin D, no not even this far south, not in December anyway.
Teacher Terry
12-22-16, 1:36pm
I wonder if part of your depression stems from the fact that you have too much to do everyday and there is no way to accomplish everything so you feel like a failure. It is one thing to be that busy in your 20-30's when raising kids, etc but at 50 it is not sustainable. YOu might want to explore that.
ApatheticNoMore
12-22-16, 2:58pm
if anyone remembers the whole can/soda thought exercise, I drank the last soda yesterday. Not drinking soda is healthier for me. Substituting water is cheaper
be realistic though if you were drinking soda with caffeine then maybe substitute black or green tea or something (which one is closer to the caffeine content in soda? probably has less than black tea so maybe the green), sure ideally it's best not to drink caffeine maybe (I think so I just can't do it). But even if that was the goal, it's best for one goal at a time (first to give up sugary sodas). Of course if it was just something caffeine free anyway like Sprite never mind, water will probably work.
frugal-one
12-22-16, 4:08pm
So the solstice is a time of taking stock and making changes for me.
if anyone remembers the whole can/soda thought exercise, I drank the last soda yesterday. Not drinking soda is healthier for me. Substituting water is cheaper, not having boxes of cans opens up a space in my storage cupboard, and even though the boxes and cans are recyclable, the whole process uses energy and resources for the purposes of income to the supply chain and enjoyment of something that at best does me no good on my end.
i am refocusing on my self care, to which end I remembered my vitamins and used moisturizer with sunblock thus morning. I also took the time to pick out and put on jewelry. I have a lot of it (not fancy) but tend to look at it more than wear it. Today I am doing the last of the stocking shopping with dh, so I dressed up a little.
I sometimes enjoy flavored sparkling water. It is much better for you than soda but still has the fizz.
Chicken lady
12-22-16, 4:24pm
It was caffeinated soda, but only a can or two a day and I am still drinking coffee. I may notice the cutback in the afternoons sometimes, but not to the point of a headache.
50 is the new 30 ;)
self-care is good but I laughed at this, is there anywhere in north america, where sunblock is necessary in december? So little light is getting through, now in a few months or so then it's another matter and might be a good idea.
Though perhaps there is glare from snow, didn't think of that. For sure no sunblock for me in Cali for a few months, no UV is penetrating pretty much, not even enough for vitamin D, no not even this far south, not in December anyway.
You can get some serious sun and even burns here in Colorado in the winter. Skiing sunburns are kinda funny because there is a goggle outline! So yeah, we use sunscreen here year round!
It was caffeinated soda, but only a can or two a day and I am still drinking coffee. I may notice the cutback in the afternoons sometimes, but not to the point of a headache.
50 is the new 30 ;)
Oh yeah, I was talking about this with a colleague who is a year younger recently. We were expecting to have years of experience in our jobs and be more efficient, not feeling an immense push to put in more hours, keep learning at an intense pace, etc. So feeling it,
I found that true as well, Zoe, and even more so when I turned 60--like by a factor of ten. I just think they want us out.
Chicken lady
12-23-16, 5:25pm
I love my job and my boss, but I am also loving not having to drive anywhere right now.
i did go out with dh yesterday to finish off the shopping and we met our oldest and her husband for dinner, but he drove. Tonight we have a holiday concert with the youngest, but again, I just gave to ride along.
i am enjoying having pretty much one task (limited shopping yesterday, limited cleaning/decorating today) and one big fun thing each day along with basic daily life. (I also made a pie today). I've also been sleeping in.
tomorrow i I will need to get up early do I can wrap/ minor clean before dd and dsil come over, we'll exchange gifts and cook and eat a nice midday dinner and then they leave for his family. I'll clean up and wrap/put out the gifts for dh and younger dd before bed.
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