View Full Version : The dog - what to do
Selling the house has been extremely stressful and now the reality of having a very geriatric dog is hitting full force. She is now 16 yo and has become incontinent. We are in a temporary place that thankfully allowed pets but mopping the floor several times a day with everything else going on adds to the household stress. She is in a constant fog and can't see anymore but still eats. Taking her to the vet for a checkup but little voice is telling me it might be time to let her go. No doubt there is a pill or procedure that might let her last longer but in our situation I just don't know best thing to do with our out of state move and more stress to come.
I think I'm leaning towards what you are thinking. She may be more comfortable to make bridge trip before the stress of the move.
We're not moving but I need to make that decision soon for my old feral wheezing cancer kitty who hasn't lost her winter coat this summer. She has actually turned nice so I think she is saying her goodbyes.
Ultralight
8-1-16, 10:43am
Selling the house has been extremely stressful and now the reality of having a very geriatric dog is hitting full force. She is now 16 yo and has become incontinent. We are in a temporary place that thankfully allowed pets but mopping the floor several times a day with everything else going on adds to the household stress. She is in a constant fog and can't see anymore but still eats. Taking her to the vet for a checkup but little voice is telling me it might be time to let her go. No doubt there is a pill or procedure that might let her last longer but in our situation I just don't know best thing to do with our out of state move and more stress to come.
I am very sorry to hear about your dog's condition. I am sure this is painful on you all.
If Harlan was blind, incontinent, and in a constant fog I would let him go.
Pinkytoe, Hugs to you. It is such a hard decision. I'd think about the stress for her. Will it make her life better? Or should she get to go on across the Rainbow Bridge?
Iris lilies has probably a good response. I think few ever feel they made the decision too soon. Many feel they left it too late.
Every time you change homes, she is going to be more confused.
iris lilies
8-1-16, 12:17pm
OP you are probably in the time spectrum where euthanasia is fine. It you were in your old home you might not do it quite yet, but now, with all of these changes, that speeds up the necessity.
Teacher Terry
8-1-16, 12:32pm
One of the parameters is she still having joy in eating, being petted, treats, etc. We have a dog that is 19 who pees and poos everywhere (we have no carpet) but if we did we would use doggie diapers, always been deaf, is losing her vision in 2 different ways, on meds for anxiety only at night so she can sleep and has a another disorder that requires meds 2x's/day. She has dementia too. However, she is very happy, running like crazy and getting very excited for treats and pets so she has quality of life. We have been cleaning up after her for 6 months and previously I had a dog that was incontinent due to a physical problem for 2 years. While it is not fun it is not the end of the world. I read a book about when to let go and enjoying eating and petting were the 2 criteria that it is not time yet.
My sister's German Shepherd had liver problems, incontinence, hip problems, seizures, and a few other problems. But he kept trying to get petted and eat until the last 36 hours.
After seeing that I felt like they waited too long, though I said nothing at the time (or since). I lived with them at the time and helped them daily with the dog. I was the only one there when he had his first seizure. The experience with their dog made me feel confident I would not let it go that long with Harlan. No way.
I think IL is right. You are in the time frame to let the pup go.
Either way, my heart goes out to you all.
If you know in your heart it is the time to say good bye, you are the best pet owner in the world for allowing her to go on. Hugs
The move and your stress would be too much for the dog at this stage of life experience. It is tough to do but do let go gently with the tender help of the vet.
Took the dog to an emergency vet rather than wait. Said they couldn't do anything for her without $400 in diagnostic tests. Geez...
iris lilies
8-2-16, 5:47pm
Took the dog to an emergency vet rather than wait. Said they couldn't do anything for her without $400 in diagnostic tests. Geez...
Wait, what? Why would you go to an emergency vet,they are always expensive.
But you may have to shop around before finding a vet who agrees to euthanize your dog if you do not have an already established relationship.
My mom has been looking at a somewhat similar situation with her 17yo dog. The dog is incontinent, is enduring a very slow recuperation from some sort of knee-joint injury (and so, now, barks incessantly whenever she wants to move from place to place because she can't do it without help to stand up), and couldn't get around very well even before the joint injury -- low flexibility and stamina. But my mom isn't moving and the dog still reacts positively to people and still wants to eat and get attention. So she stays.
In pinkytoe's case, it may be kinder to euthanize now than to stress the dog with a move. It's a very hard decision to make. My heart goes out to you.
My heart goes out to you. This isn't an easy decision but based on what you've said I agree with the others that it's probably time. The stress of the move will only make things worse for her stresswise. She's had a long and happy life.
I can't really add anything to the advice you have already received, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you have to face this. It is never easy to let a loved one go.
Took the dog to our old country vet and he said it was time whenever we decided. Will bring her home for the weekend to say goodbye and then take her back for the big sleep. She really isn't very happy and our big move will be a little easier.
I guess I believe differently than most people. I don't have a job so maybe this is better for me than others, but I believe in staying with the pet til they pass at home. I'm really sorry this has presented itself to you at such an unfortunate time and I hope it goes well for you and your pet.
iris lilies
8-4-16, 9:20pm
I guess I believe differently than most people. I don't have a job so maybe this is better for me than others, but I believe in staying with the pet til they pass at home. I'm really sorry this has presented itself to you at such an unfortunate time and I hope it goes well for you and your pet.
I might be ok with that if they could tell me their pain level on a scale of 1-10. Since they cannot, I have to guess and would rather cut their lives a bit short to keep them out of pain, but it doesnt always work like that.
Teacher Terry
8-4-16, 9:59pm
Animals can be very stoic because if they show pain/weakness in the wild then they are in trouble. I know very few people that had their animals die naturally. I have had to put a few dogs to sleep and most was due to pain, could no longer walk, etc. I had one old dog that could not stand (advanced Cushing's disease) and would not pee if he could not stand. He had a bunch of other problems too. I had another dog that her back legs did not work (she was an abused rescue) but she would drag her back end and finally hubby made a wheelchair but in the end her front legs failed, she had pain we could not control and she would pee and lay in it. I tend to wait longer then most people to PTS an animal. Even when I was working f.t. I did a ton of cleaning up, bathing dogs often,etc but the pain for me was non-negotiable. Most of my friends remarked that they would not have done it and one dog actually ruined the pergo floor with her pee because I was working and couldn't clean it up immediately. I think sometimes we are kinder to our animals then we are to people who often suffer horribly. All 4 of my dogs are very old (11-19) so not looking forward to what is coming.
One of my biggest regrets was letting a beloved cat linger too long because I was waiting for nature to take its course. I couldn't bear to watch him suffer anymore and rushed him to an emergency clinic to have him euthanized. He suffered needlessly.
early morning
8-5-16, 8:32am
no words of wisdom, just a (((hug))) - my heart goes out to you, loosing a fur-baby is hard... we've had animals pass naturally at home, and some we needed to intervene to avoid their lingering in pain, and suffering. There is no easy way, in either case.
So here we are six weeks later. Our 16.5 yo dog pulled through her illness and is back to her goofy, blind, geriatric self. Still loves to eat but doesn't seem to respond to much else and mostly sleeps. Bumps into walls and stumbles about. But she is not in pain or suffering - just very old and feeble. We have to lease a place out of state and they will only allow two pets (our cats). We leave in a week and I am not able to sleep at night wondering what to do about the dog. It took two trips up just to find a place that would accept any animals at all. I have asked friends and family and they aren't interested in taking her on. I would never consider taking her to a shelter because abandonment just isn't an option. We have had her since she was born so this is driving me nuts. The vet will euthanize her but I just can't do that. However it seems less cruel since she has only ever known us. Help!!!!
It is a painful decision but looking at it with detachment as I can do from a distance, the dog will have a hard time making the move to two new places over a short period, you are really only delaying an inevitable decision that you will have to make and like many things that happen, you and the dog have shared so much together with wonderful memories of good times. Hanging on to the point of regret is a very poor option. Friends and family are telling you that it is time to let go.
We have had three pets now do us the ultimate favor and die peaceably in their sleep, what you always wish for and so seldom get. My parent's 23 year old cat just did the same thing for them.
We found our dear kitty stretched out in mid stretch, eyes open, on her bed.
I do not know what to tell you pinkytoe, to make your situation any easier or better. My heart goes out to you, and there is no good answer here. Wishing your baby peace, and you peace.
iris lilies
10-16-16, 6:32pm
So here we are six weeks later. Our 16.5 yo dog pulled through her illness and is back to her goofy, blind, geriatric self. Still loves to eat but doesn't seem to respond to much else and mostly sleeps. Bumps into walls and stumbles about. But she is not in pain or suffering - just very old and feeble. We have to lease a place out of state and they will only allow two pets (our cats). We leave in a week and I am not able to sleep at night wondering what to do about the dog. It took two trips up just to find a place that would accept any animals at all. I have asked friends and family and they aren't interested in taking her on. I would never consider taking her to a shelter because abandonment just isn't an option. We have had her since she was born so this is driving me nuts. The vet will euthanize her but I just can't do that. However it seems less cruel since she has only ever known us. Help!!!!
What help are you expecting?
What help are you expecting?
I guess...what would you do in our situation?
Driving 800 miles in small SUV to entirely new location with two cats that will not allow 3rd pet. Stress out the wazoo even without the dog decision. Oh and dog is often incontinent if we don't take her out every two hours.
freshstart
10-16-16, 7:14pm
I agree with razz. Imagining her trying to blindly adjust to a new family does not seem peaceful for her or bringing her to a whole new environment and traveling even if you could keep her, it just sounds like too much for her. This would drive me nuts too and break my heart but it sounds best for her. I'm sorry you are in this situation.
Teacher Terry
10-16-16, 7:44pm
It would be cruel to re-home her at this age, etc. You basically have 2 choices, put her to sleep or find a place that allows 3 pets (probably very hard to do). I have never had a pet die in their sleep even though I prayed they would. This is one reason I would never consider moving and having to rent because we have 4 old dogs. We bought the home we are in now before selling our old home because I was afraid something like this would happen to us. Did you explain the situation and ask the renters if you could buy out their lease?
I know you don't want to hear this but I would take her with me and do whatever I needed to do to keep her with me and make her feel comfortable and loved until the end.
Teacher Terry
10-16-16, 8:03pm
Cathy, I would too.
pinkytoe
10-16-16, 10:07pm
I was actually quite surprised how hard it was to find a place that was pet-friendly as I haven't rented in decades. The rental we found is actually charging us extra per month for each cat plus a hefty pet deposit. Believe me, I wish we could move right into the house we bought and not have to worry about the dog but the house came with a tenant with a lease. A buyout of the tenant's lease would have been in the thousands so couldn't really justify that either.
Teacher Terry
10-17-16, 1:30pm
I just wondered if you had approached the tenant yourself and explained the situation and offered them a few thousand to move now. I think that would be an incentive for many people. I have not rented in decades but still know it is hard to rent with pets, places charge pet deposits, pet rents and limit # of pets.
I just wondered if you had approached the tenant yourself and explained the situation and offered them a few thousand to move now. I think that would be an incentive for many people. I have not rented in decades but still know it is hard to rent with pets, places charge pet deposits, pet rents and limit # of pets.
If you could approach the tenants and offer them money to move, instead of renting the rental, then you could keep your doggie at home, which would probably feel a lot better to you.
Or maybe you could pay extra to keep the dog (on a monthly basis), explaining to them that she's been with you so long and might not live long.........maybe they'd be more open to increasing the number of allowable pets?
With realtors handling both ends of the sale, I don't even get to speak with the tenant until after the sale. I intend to let her know that she can break the lease without penalty but the law says that she gets to stay for the length of the lease. As she is a college professor, I am pretty certain she would not want to uproot until her semester gig is up next spring. I just learned too that most pet friendly hotels along our route only allow two so one more hurdle to cross. I think I am going to talk to the vet again as he was advocating euthanasia; when I boarded her there recently, they commented on how she tried to bite everyone if they came near so stress of any kind seems to undo her. The last thing I can do is talk once again with our new landlady up there and see if she will reconsider.
freshstart
10-17-16, 4:30pm
maybe if the new landlord realizes this is probably a short term situation, she'll relent
When the vet says that the dog is biting people due to being in strange circumstances and suggests euthanasia, it becomes a liability issue as well as being what is right for the dog. Biting is an real indication of stress added to the confusion the dog is demonstrating as well.
Sorry to ask this harsh but necessary question - are you wanting to keep this old confused dog alive for your comfort or its?
are you wanting to keep this old confused dog alive for your comfort or its?
That's the question, isn't it? She was born in one of our closets more than 16 years ago and has had a lot of good years since. She is a reminder of all that went before our current BIG life transitions. In all honesty, I believe having her put down is the most humane choice but guilt wins out every time in situations like this.
That's the question, isn't it? She was born in one of our closets more than 16 years ago and has had a lot of good years since. She is a reminder of all that went before our current BIG life transitions. In all honesty, I believe having her put down is the most humane choice but guilt wins out every time in situations like this.
There is no reason to feel guilty about having her euthanized in this circumstance. It is a kindness, really. Though I know it is really sad and heartwrenching to make that choice.
Help me understand what you mean by guilt.
I have put three dogs down and felt such a deep love as I held them in their last minutes going into a peaceful sleep. The beloved dachshund was adopted from the landlord. At the end, he was seriously injured by another dog. He bit the young dog when surprised as your dog is doing. The cocker spaniel was blind, deaf and suffering after being our delight for 13 years. The last dog, as big as a Shetland pony, was such a treasure for 13 years. We walked miles together over the years until the distances became shorter and shorter and then just enough to do his business. One morning he came to me and leaned against my knee unable to stand up asking for help. My dear vet helped me and left us together for the last time. I buried him under our shrub bed buying a new shrub that was his. I didn't ever feel guilt but that I was giving each of them the greatest gift by acting with loving tenderness and responsibility when it was needed. They cannot do this option for themselves.
Do I miss them? Of course. I remember each one came at a certain stage in my life. My daughters dressed the dachshund in doll clothes. He escorted them to the bus stop to school and waited anxiously for their return. The cocker made a difficult move bearable. DH and I used to take him for a long walk each Saturday for years and have a brunch out. That was our date at a very busy time. The 'pony' walked with DH and me in our woods until DH got ill. He then kept me company as I tramped the woods and sorted out so many difficult issues. Just as with our children, the loving and beautiful memories never stop.
Now I have a hound that is sweet, loving and the facilitator to the new neighbourhood. All the kids and other dogs want to visit with him. Heaven help me when he gets loose though. He can travel at a great speed. So far this has happened three times and each time, someone found him and brought him home.
That's the question, isn't it? She was born in one of our closets more than 16 years ago and has had a lot of good years since. She is a reminder of all that went before our current BIG life transitions. In all honesty, I believe having her put down is the most humane choice but guilt wins out every time in situations like this.
Coincidentally, she is a Dachsund. I feel guilt because I "think" she has some OK days left. Calling the vet tomorrow to discuss...since we leave head out in a week.
catherine
10-17-16, 6:28pm
Nothing to add, pinkytoe, but (((((hugs))))) for you as you make this difficult decision.
freshstart
10-17-16, 8:41pm
Tell me if I'm wrong, but are you feeling guilty because she may still get some pleasure out of life, like when she interacts with you? It's really hard to make the decision when the dog is "on the fence". Coincidentally, I struggled over a dachshund, too. He had brain damage and was incontinent for 11 yrs but was a lovable, special dog. He started to slow down and just couldn't walk very far. But he was still happy, he still wagged his tail but he could no longer chase squirrels out of the yard, he slept all the time, had to be carried everywhere which he hated and was just not all there. I chose to put him down before he couldn't walk at all. But he was a hard one because it wasn't the bitter end. But after watching humans die for 11 yrs in hospice, waiting til the bitter end is overrated. We have little choice with humans, but at least we can choose for our dogs to die in peace.
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