ignoring FB

[freshstart]

while my eyes have been healing, I've been totally off Facebook. At least 6 weeks. I'm not someone who is on there all the time and I have honed my friend list to people I actually know and care about so the experience is not so onerous. Wow, jump back in with one post and it's off to the races! Almost decided my life was a lot simpler without FB but there are people I would miss hearing their funny stories or updates on so and so's dog. That daily chatter I no longer get at work.

what do you think? does FB make life too complicated? a total time suck?

[JaneV2.0]

I don't use my name and I've personally avoided adding friends; I don't need the silliness. I enjoy reading relevant posts on my newsfeed, and keeping up with animal charities and limited news. You can tailor it to be as obtrusive/annoying as you want.

[iris lilies]

I guess we need a sticky post about Facebook and its evils.

Because I dont fuave children or grandchildren, I dont much care about Facebook. I have about 8 FB "friends" and about half of those are simply to be polite.

But that said, I DO check it daily because it is the chief communication tool for our Bulldog Rescue Volunteer group. Were that not the case, it is a toss up as t if I would even participate.

I also belong to several FB groups: lily, iris, general St. louis Bulldog Rescue, and our community Garden groups and a Simple Friends groups that is closed, started by a few people who used to be on this website. No one visits our commnity garden FB group and I am fine with that. I actually am in charge of that page but dont give a flip about it.

[Tybee]

I decided life was simpler and better without it. . .

[Simplemind]

It is what you make it. You control what and how much is on it. I keep in touch with friends, mostly through private messaging since I don't use a cell phone for that purpose. Mostly it is my news feed as I have set up what publications I want to follow.

[freshstart]

I just used it to easily invite 35 former co-workers to a potluck. When I finally had to resign, I hadn't been there in 6 mos, I never got to say goodbye and hospice was such a huge part of my life. It was so easy to send out the message once. now I have to call, email the ones not on FB

[Kestra]

Yeah, I and others I know use it a lot to arrange real-life things. The group feature and event and invite thing is very useful.
I've decreased my feed a lot as that is a pointless time suck mostly.

[razz]

I am finding that more small businesses are using FB as their homepage. Will it be easier to check them out if I sign up for FB? I tried to set up an account once and then decided not to activate it. Mostly concern about privacy and time vacuum, I think

[freshstart]

I found the privacy settings to be difficult to figure out, I had to have my brother check that I did them correctly. With the right settings, your privacy is however you want it

[IshbelRobertson]

I have never joined Facebook or Twitter. I don't feel I am missing out!

[catherine]

I gave up social media for Lent one year and I survived. I do track FB posts, almost like skimming a magazine, because I have "liked" a lot of organizations/sites that are aligned with my interests. I also really like seeing my friends' posts, even though they are often same old stuff about their cute kids or pictures of their meals or exotic trips that I can only hope to have. But, if we were talking person-to-person, they'd STILL be talking about their cute kids, their meals and their trips, and I'd be listening, so what's the difference. I'd rather have access to the minutia of the lives of people I care about than no access at all.

[Simplemind]

Catherine, I have a question that is sincere with no snark attached. If your friends didn't post about cute kids, food and trips, what would interest you? I stand guilty of a couple of those. I have heard others make negative comments about those type of posts and their opinions of why people do it. None true in my case but it does make me wonder about people assigning a value to a post that wasn't the intention.

[catherine]

Catherine, I have a question that is sincere with no snark attached. If your friends didn't post about cute kids, food and trips, what would interest you? I stand guilty of a couple of those. I have heard others make negative comments about those type of posts and their opinions of why people do it. None true in my case but it does make me wonder about people assigning a value to a post that wasn't the intention.

You're right, Simplemind.. I don't really have an answer, because as I said, I'd rather see the meals and the trips and the kids than nothing. Sincerely. It's just that it has become a FB cliche! The other night DH made me a beautiful raspberry dessert and the presentation was beautiful and I took a picture and almost posted it on FB, but then I resisted because I thought "here's one more plate of food/glass of wine."

I think sometimes there are some really funny, interesting posts. For instance, one co-worker posted a funny story about an incident he had on the plane and it was really funny. It made me laugh. Another friend posted a picture of her child but it was paired with picture of her at her daughter's age, and they were twins!

So maybe originality is the key. And authenticity. Sometimes the quotes that are posted hit me that day, and other times they seem so trite. I HATE the "Say amen and share if your daughter is the joy of your life" posts.

I truly do like seeing the different location pins to see where my friends are. It does make me feel closer to them. So, in answer to your question, I guess I don't REALLY mind the kids/meals/trips.. it's just that over time, they become a little redundant. You never see the ugly stuff. Unfortunately, I really appreciate when friends post about their BAD times, because otherwise, I would never have the opportunity to give support. I just had a friend like that who posted about her son's ugly custody battle, and I expressed an opinion to my son that she should keep that private, but he said, well, at least she feels comfortable being open to people she considers friends. He has a point. But I still find it kind of awkward.

ETA: I have actually grown my relationships on FB. I have a niece that I have unfortunately never really nurtured because I am bad at keeping in touch remotely, but she sent me a friend request and I FINALLY feel I have SOME kind of a relationship with her. I know it's not the best. I should have been more attentive over the years, but FB has facilitated a "last chance" at being an aunt, and I"m grateful for that.

[razz]

Catherine, you answer makes sense to me. While I may not want to know everyone's personal details all the time, having some info to keep a connection is a way of creating/maintaining community. There are lots of people one meets face to face and little bits of info shared about trips, kids or favourite munch spots is a light touch that I use in RL.

[nswef]

My sister claims Facebook is like the annual Christmas letter- only good things most of the time. I personally enjoy the kid pictures, even food pictures and quotes. I've gotten back in contact with people and it has been enjoyable. It can be a time waster, though.

[Tradd]

I don't do so much of the regular FB profile stuff, but there are several private groups I'm a member of that are quite active. I also use the message function quite a lot.

[iris lilies]

My sister claims Facebook is like the annual Christmas letter- only good things most of the time. I personally enjoy the kid pictures, even food pictures and quotes...

yes!

Today my brother called to tell me that my cousin is divorced, and has been for months.

As a lurker on my cousin's wife and daughter's fb pages , I saw not one sign of this.
I was completely shocked, this divorce thing has been on the down low. And since their divorce coincided with the month their daughter graduated from college, it apparently has been planned for some time, maybe years.

But no mention of this on fb. So yeah, only kittens and rainbows allowed on fb.

[Chicken lady]

I am not on Facebook, although I am starting to do some art shows that may end up requiring it.

my cousin just left for college. According to my kids, his mother is quietly going nuts on Facebook. I may call her.

i just took a 5 day break from the Internet - including news. It took me two hours to catch up - including deleting e-mail, but not the news. This tells me I spend far too long on the Internet. An hour every other day should be plenty!

[freshstart]

the local garage sale pages are useful, my friend has sold several big items on there for me. I have to get her to show me how you even find those pages, though, it's another part of FB that is not intuitive to me

[jp1]

A former coworker of my sister's got dumped via facebook. He got a notification that said "GF changed her relationship status to single"... Ooops.

In our social circle facebook is completely ubiquitous. I agree that the redundancy of meal posts and the like can get tiring and it's generally a pretty big time sink, but on the other hand, I get lots and lots of likes every time I post pictures of our cats. If I didn't use it at all I wouldn't get a lot of invites to events. I suppose SO would keep me informed...

I also enjoy that I'm now in touch with the people that I liked but lost touch with from high school and college.