View Full Version : Do you Believe in Meyers Briggs Personality Assessments?
Has anyone ever taken this personality test? Did you find the results accurate in assessing your personality? The reason I'm asking is that I did a test online and was startled to find out how accurate it was for me. And not all of that was flattering!!
How about you? Did you find it accurate?
ApatheticNoMore
9-6-16, 10:05pm
Yes. I'm INTP. Not really a type particularly valued in this society, just occasionally tolerated when they are useful :~)
It's pretty much hogwash, IMO.
Don't like it either. You should see some of the personality tests for jobs now - like at Wal-Mart or Target. When you consider how many retailers are going out of business or trying too, then you know that these types of tests are complete garbage.
ApatheticNoMore
9-7-16, 1:52am
the test and whether it should be allowed for jobs are two different things (ALL personality tests for jobs should be illegal - just ban them already! And I don't give a flying flick whether this or that test has some scientific validity or not when it comes to jobs. They are still none of the employers business and should be illegal regardless). As in I like being naked to take a bath but I would not want to go to job interviews naked if it became the new requirement. Some things are just not right.
I doubt the retailers are going out of business because of low level staff though, there's some theft but it's usually budgeted for, if they are giving the same tests way high up in the organization, by those who actually make decisions, then maybe. I wouldn't be surprised if they aren't though.
Yes. I'm INTP. Not really a type particularly valued in this society, just occasionally tolerated when they are useful :~)
Try being an INFJ -- and a guy! Now that is a configuration not valued by society!
But while I do think that INFJ reflects my personality, I think that the whole MB thing is largely non-sense and not especially useful.
the test and whether it should be allowed for jobs are two different things (ALL personality tests for jobs should be illegal - just ban them already! And I don't give a flying flick whether this or that test has some scientific validity or not when it comes to jobs. They are still none of the employers business and should be illegal regardless). As in I like being naked to take a bath but I would not want to go to job interviews naked if it became the new requirement. Some things are just not right.
I doubt the retailers are going out of business because of low level staff though, there's some theft but it's usually budgeted for, if they are giving the same tests way high up in the organization, by those who actually make decisions, then maybe. I wouldn't be surprised if they aren't though.
Most HR people don't have much to do. So administering these silly-ass personality tests keeps them a job. It makes them look busy.
I believe it nailed my personality, INTJ, with surprising accuracy and yes, some of it was not flattering. I had my ex do it because I found a site that tells you whether two types would be compatible. Now that I know is a bunch of hogwash but it made me feel better that we were polar opposites and it explained to me why parts of him drove me crazy. So even though I question the validity of the exam, it did make me think.
As for using it for jobs, I think that should be illegal. I was asked my type in a team job interview but had I not known it, I would not have had to take the test or anything.
It was useful to me personally, to learn different axes of looking at the world. We all tend to think the way we think is "normal". It also gave me a way to understand better WHY someone was driving me crazy. For example, I like to plan. Not down to the minute and stick to a schedule planning, but a general idea of what I'll be doing on a particular day. This gets more important to me on vacations, where I don't want to feel I'm "wasting" the day, or spending an excessive amount of time researching for something interesting to do. I don't vacation well with people who insist on completely winging it. I like to vacation with a list of already researched ideas/places to go and then decide that day what to do. With my family, we spend the entire morning discussing options and then have lunch and then maybe people start showering and the like and we head out at 2pm for something. I've already been up since 6am or earlier, so feel half the day is wasted. And other people think I'm completely anal for having done any research at all.
I'm an INTP.
The thing I find most interesting about Myers-Briggs assessments is my real world observation of just how rare we I's are at my level of the workplace and how dominate we are in online communities such as this forum.
UA, INFJ here as well. I find it accurate and it has been helpful when I feel totally weird in the world. It also helped me understand that other people were not just trying to be a-holes but really didn't see the world the way I do (thanks mom for telling me I really am not any different until my head wants to explode!). I have heard that other people want to be classified INFJ because we are apparently the most rare type, but I honestly wouldn't choose this many days. That is the part that gets to be bunk, like you can know all about someone just from this test.
And for the workplace, I would consider it discrimination or unfair hiring to use a personality test to not hire me or someone else. At least I am in a work field that may have some others a little more like me! The I could get a lot of negative, I feel that it is a struggle even without the label.
These tests make astrology seem respectable. I think the idea that there are definable personality types that can be determined in a few hours is nonsense that plays to peoples' basic vanity and insecurity.
Another INTJ. As others have mentioned, it does raise awareness about the differences in personality that need to be considered whatever one is doing.If used for that reason, it may help but as a deciding factor in hiring, no.
how rare we I's are at my level of the workplace and how dominate we are in online communities such as this forum.
Its a lot easier to get a word in edge-wise on an online forum. :~)
They're fun, but maybe dangerous when vetting for jobs. As an INTJ, I probably couldn't get a job as a dog washer.
The most complicated psychological test I may have ever taken was for a part time retail job. I must have aced it--they gave me a choice between working in the kiddie's department or jewelry. I chose jewelry, natch.
iris lilies
9-7-16, 11:07am
I am INT_ but never remember the rest of it, and the last one seem to vary anyway, whenever I take the test.
I am T with a capital T, haha.
I should take the test today since I am stuck here at jury duty. It is the biennial job that citizens in the city of St. Louis do because there are so many crimes and so few eligible to serve on the jury.
INTJ here. It was helpful to me personally, since I used the information to help me identify my strengths and also learn what situations to avoid regarding career choices. I'd feel uncomfortable taking that test as part of a job application process, though. On the other hand, once I'd gotten a job, it might be helpful to do it as part of a work team so we can learn more about people's individual work styles, i.e. the planner-the spontaneous spectrum, introvert-extrovert spectrum, etc. It might be good as a springboard for a discussion, but not anything to go in anyone's actual personnel file.
freshstart
9-7-16, 11:28am
They're fun, but maybe dangerous when vetting for jobs. As an INTJ, I probably couldn't get a job as a dog washer.
that's why I lied and said I thought I was an INTP when asked in a group interview. They said "good, we couldn't work with any Js". They obviously were taking the J literally but it was annoying
long retired INFJ here. The job market doesn't matter at all to me. I finally did mine on several sites and got the same thing every time. I has been hugely helpful to me to understand and accept myself, something I have had Avery hard time doing. I have ALWAYS felt like the black sheep of the family and really everywhere. MBPI Has helped me come to terms with that.
Also INFJ. I think the test may have some validity, and that it should be illegal to use it in a work setting.
I just took a quick one on line ISFJ No idea what it means these days. In teaching 31 years elementary school we took it once for a discussion about team work and management. I cannot remember what i was then, but I've been retired 15 years, so may have changed. We did some right brain/left brain thing too....I was very right brained I think if that's the non fanciful side.
I read a blurb about it and it's pretty accurate. These are fun to take but I cannot see any reason at all that it should be required for a job application!
Did a right brain left brain quiz...9 and 8...I think that has changed since retirement. I have the time so am not squashing my intuitive, artistic side now. This is how one wastes time when one should be working on the TO DO list!!!:cool:
Met, too, Catherine!
INFP here. Are you a "gregarious hermit" as I am..?? who loves to communicate through writing?
Gardenarian
9-7-16, 3:05pm
The tests seem somewhat accurate in a broad way - whether you are intro- or extroverted, for example
The rest seems a bit vague, like a horoscope thast could apply to anyone.
That being said, I am much like my type in general, as are dd and dh. I am also much like what a Leo is supposed to be. I think it can be used as a tool for self development (so can tarot cards.) In the end, I already know who I am and don't need a test to tell me.
I think employers should look at performance history as a far more reliable tool than testing.
(I just took a look at descriptions for all the types, and found that there are quite a few that would fit me.)
ApatheticNoMore
9-7-16, 3:07pm
INFPs are pretty much never happy to get that type. They think it's a liability.
As INTP, the INTP description has never bothered me, though it's obvious society generally places more value on extroverts over introverts, maybe generally on T over F, on J over P.
ApatheticNoMore
9-7-16, 3:14pm
I think it can be used as a tool for self development (so can tarot cards.)
The Enneagram books try to use it as a tool for self-development, basically the point is to develop things you lack, use your strengths yes, but develop your lacking capacities. The Enneagram numbers are similar to MB, I pretty much score the MB equivalent of INTP on that test too.
I think employers should look at performance history as a far more reliable tool than testing.
I think they don't because this is usually UNKNOWABLE. One can know somewhat of an employee, but of an interviewee, good luck there. The closest anyone ever got to such an "objective" standard was probably the civil service exams that used to be used a lot to qualify government employees. And they don't exist in the civil service barely anymore is my understanding, and seldom existed elsewhere
One can know who has done the exact same job before, but potential to move in a slightly different direction, pretty hard to tell. I think employers always hire based on personality presentation (if one was entirely unqualified there would be no interview, so qualifications at some point in the evaluation process become less relevant). But basing it on testing should still be illegal.
But basing it on testing should still be illegal.
The thing is, well-done interviewing is just another form of testing...
I used to interview *a lot* of people every year for technical and managerial positions. My company was growing rapidly, and needed only "the best" people. We got pretty good at sorting out those who wouldn't be successful in our environment just through the interview process. And most of our questions weren't "design me a XXX thingy on the whiteboard" Google-style intelligence/knowledge tests...
Teacher Terry
9-7-16, 3:41pm
I have professionally administered this test many times and most people who review their results say it is accurate for them. This test and others were not made to weed out people for jobs by employers. HR people do not have the expertise/education necessary to make decisions with a test. Also tests are not infallible so they are only predictors of success. As a professional you don't want to make too many wrong predictions either for or against the client being able to succeed in a job. You also need a lengthily interview and a look at their past job history. They are helpful in marriage/family counseling, work place situations so everyone can better understand where other people are coming from and in career counseling. When I did career counseling we would use the list of jobs as a starting point along with many other tools including interest inventories. In the end someone might choose to do a job not in their personality list which is fine. It is a tool that can be helpful if used correctly. It is one of many tools that can be used by a qualified professional. If you use more then one tool you will start to see patterns which is helpful to the client. I was once hired by a big company to test one of their employees that had been fantastic in the factory but was failing in her office job. I was initially suspicious that they were going to use my report to fire her. Actually the VP of this large company adored this woman and wanted to help. After the testing was concluded I shared with him that she was not smart enough and did not have an aptitude for office work. However, her whole professional worth was now tied into an office job and she dressed impeccably etc. It would be so devastating if she had to go back to the factory. He agreed and asked me to design an office job she could do. She was only capable of answering one phone line and making copies. We used work samples having her do these tasks to see what she could do "hands on." So he created a job just for her. When we all met I did not say that she wasn't smart enough to do her job but that she was having troubles and this job would be a better match for her. After a lot of talking she got mad and tried to argue with us. At that point I told her how lucky she was that he was willing to work with her and she should be happy. That snapped her out of it and she agreed. I have seen this situation many times where a person does an excellent job and then they get promoted and can not do the higher job. Usually they end up fired. I am not going to argue with people about these tests because it is pointless and a discussion of them always devolves into people that have no education or professional experience in this area attacking them. Like all tools they can be misused.
INFPs are pretty much never happy to get that type. They think it's a liability.
I wonder why? I'm INFP, and I'm fine with it.
Met, too, Catherine! Are you a "gregarious hermit" as I am..?? who loves to communicate through writing?
Yes, actually!
iris lilies
9-7-16, 4:04pm
I have professionally administered this test many times and most people who review their results say it is accurate for them. This test and others were not made to weed out people for jobs by employers. HR people do not have the expertise/education necessary to make decisions with a test. Also tests are not infallible so they are only predictors of success. As a professional you don't want to make too many wrong predictions either for or against the client being able to succeed in a job. You also need a lengthily interview and a look at their past job history. They are helpful in marriage/family counseling, work place situations so everyone can better understand where other people are coming from and in career counseling. When I did career counseling we would use the list of jobs as a starting point along with many other tools including interest inventories. In the end someone might choose to do a job not in their personality list which is fine. It is a tool that can be helpful if used correctly. It is one of many tools that can be used by a qualified professional. If you use more then one tool you will start to see patterns which is helpful to the client. I was once hired by a big company to test one of their employees that had been fantastic in the factory but was failing in her office job. I was initially suspicious that they were going to use my report to fire her. Actually the VP of this large company adored this woman and wanted to help. After the testing was concluded I shared with him that she was not smart enough and did not have an aptitude for office work. However, her whole professional worth was now tied into an office job and she dressed impeccably etc. It would be so devastating if she had to go back to the factory. He agreed and asked me to design an office job she could do. She was only capable of answering one phone line and making copies. We used work samples having her do these tasks to see what she could do "hands on." So he created a job just for her. When we all met I did not say that she wasn't smart enough to do her job but that she was having troubles and this job would be a better match for her. After a lot of talking she got mad and tried to argue with us. At that point I told her how lucky she was that he was willing to work with her and she should be happy. That snapped her out of it and she agreed. I have seen this situation many times where a person does an excellent job and then they get promoted and can not do the higher job. Usually they end up fired. I am not going to argue with people about these tests because it is pointless and a discussion of them always devolves into people that have no education or professional experience in this area attacking them. Like all tools they can be misused.
I love that story. How many times Ive seen employees who are concientious and personable and with a fabulous work ethic who just cant do the work! It is heartbreaking. Being a gubmnet employed manager I did not have the luxury to design a made-up job for someone, but I am glad that one CEO did!
edited to say: I mean "conscientious@ not "contentious!"
I have seen this situation many times where a person does an excellent job and then they get promoted and can not do the higher job.
That's the Peter Principle: "managers rise to the level of their incompetence."
It's one of the reasons I quit my job to be a consultant. I was never in danger of being fired, but I realized that I liked being the "worker bee" and detested having to manage people.
ISTJ seems pretty accurate to me.
What startled me about my findings of being an INFP is that it says I love animals and my highest calling is as a writer of non-fiction who loves to travel and is always seeking new environments and understanding of what makes me and other people tick is this:
I am a journalist who writes non-fiction articles and essays and who has a side-line as a pet-sitter, who loves to read and who itches to travel and explore new places and cultures. Who hates idle chit-chat but yearns for meaningful conversation. Whose idea of bliss is living a la Walden/Thoreau (another INFP) and who cannot tolerate corporate culture and cubicles. Freelance, baby! Don't fence me in.
The findings could not have nailed me more accurately.
Most HR people don't have much to do. So administering these silly-ass personality tests keeps them a job. It makes them look busy.
You are so!!!!!! right about that!
Once upon a time, companies didn't even have HR personnel!
Simplemind
9-7-16, 10:14pm
When I was working (the sent us to many teambuilding seminars) I always tested as an INTJ. Since I have retired I tend towards INFJ. The F was a liability at work.
I think I would love to have my managers to understand a little of my INFJ-ness, not as evaluating me but just basic understanding. I have worked very very hard to find ways to understand how people mis-perceive me and how to work with that. It is sloow going. I know someone else said being INFJ has a perpetual black sheep aura.
iris lilies
9-7-16, 10:49pm
You are so!!!!!! right about that!
Once upon a time, companies didn't even have HR personnel!
And I think that is a silly generalization. Personnel issues surrounding employment law, health benefits, etc. require a body of knowledge that is extensive and
I am surprised that you guys dont recognize that.
And now that I think about it, that is an area that UL should look into for employment.
A professionally run HR department is a huge aid to managerial staff in any situation.
Our HR department works very hard, and they help us handle a lot of issues with staff.
Gardenarian
9-7-16, 11:28pm
Thanks for sharing your experience, Teacher Terry; it makes more sense put in that perspective.
iris lilies
9-8-16, 12:18am
I think I would love to have my managers to understand a little of my INFJ-ness, not as evaluating me but just basic understanding...
What does that "understanding" look like? What do you want them to understand?
What does that "understanding" look like? What do you want them to understand?
I think part is the introverted, that I think deeply about what I say however in meetings often it is the quickest response that gets attention rather than considering if it is a 'thinking out loud' moment or something more thought out. Also that as good as I am at speaking and acting like an extrovert that sometimes it is still a lot of work.
The other is probably the sensitivity. I have been told my entire life that I am too sensitive and been told to just turn it off. There is not an off button, so I manage it but it is always going on. Last review I had however said empathy instead of too sensitive or kind!! That it literally the first time in my life I have had a review that did not suggest my caring and sensitivity was a deficit and I am 50 this year. So for a manager to know that I really do not want those cute, tear jerker videos in a meeting because I am literally going to fight not to tear up the entire time. Just give me a warning that we are going to have one of those videos and I will go to the bathroom and come back, it is horrible to tear up at work. I with there were eye drops or something, I usually try to think of horror movies to keep from getting emotional.
And I think that is a silly generalization. Personnel issues surrounding employment law, health benefits, etc. require a body of knowledge that is extensive and
I am surprised that you guys dont recognize that.
And now that I think about it, that is an area that UL should look into for employment.
A professionally run HR department is a huge aid to managerial staff in any situation.
And an aid to non-managerial staff, too, if they are good. I teach two places, and one has an outstanding HR department--they are like instant if I need something done. The other, it is a lot harder to accomplish something basic, and they aren't good with matters of confidentiality, either.
But the one place--the folks there are the most professional of anyone at the place, and they are so helpful, and a fantastic asset to the organization. I think there is a great benefit to having a good HR department, for all employees.
So for a manager to know that I really do not want those cute, tear jerker videos in a meeting because I am literally going to fight not to tear up the entire time. Just give me a warning that we are going to have one of those videos and I will go to the bathroom and come back, it is horrible to tear up at work. I with there were eye drops or something, I usually try to think of horror movies to keep from getting emotional.
It sounds like you're expecting the MB test to validate some of your attributes--almost like the characters in the Wizard of Oz needing the testimonials and diplomas. I'm trying to think back to when I was a manager--I think a manager's responsibility is to learn enough about the employees strengths and weaknesses in order to manage them properly, but I think the only thing a personality test could do is maybe raise some potential indicators, or things I should look for. As Teacher Terry said, the tests themselves are not YOU, so they should be treated as a tool, not a mirror.
How has your sensitivity gotten in the way, previously? Why do they say you are too sensitive? Does it affect your work, or your ability to get along with others? I think about my DH--he's a cryer, too. He cries every day. I'll go into his office and he'll be at the internet at 10 in the morning and he'll be sitting there crying and I say, "Oh, for crissake, what are you crying about NOW??" And he'll sob, "I'm not crying." He's usually not sad, just touched about something he saw online, or maybe he's listening to a certain music, or reading a text from one of the kids. In the workplace, I think we're often expected to handle our jobs like physicians do--with a degree of professional dispassion.
Any good manager will know who the introverts are vs the extroverts and don't need a quiz to tell them. As an introvert, I know what you mean about meetings--I HATE them, and I rarely contribute, but that hasn't come up in my evaluations.
The thing is, well-done interviewing is just another form of testing...
I used to interview *a lot* of people every year for technical and managerial positions. My company was growing rapidly, and needed only "the best" people. We got pretty good at sorting out those who wouldn't be successful in our environment just through the interview process. And most of our questions weren't "design me a XXX thingy on the whiteboard" Google-style intelligence/knowledge tests...
bae, would you be willing to share some examples of questions you did ask? I sometimes work with people who have to do a lot of hiring (i do consulting on training) and right now there's a lot of groupthink on behavioral interview questions (tell me about a time when you did X). Curious if you did something different!
And apologies to everyone if i'm dragging the thread off course.
It was useful to me personally, to learn different axes of looking at the world. We all tend to think the way we think is "normal". It also gave me a way to understand better WHY someone was driving me crazy. For example, I like to plan. Not down to the minute and stick to a schedule planning, but a general idea of what I'll be doing on a particular day. This gets more important to me on vacations, where I don't want to feel I'm "wasting" the day, or spending an excessive amount of time researching for something interesting to do. I don't vacation well with people who insist on completely winging it. I like to vacation with a list of already researched ideas/places to go and then decide that day what to do. With my family, we spend the entire morning discussing options and then have lunch and then maybe people start showering and the like and we head out at 2pm for something. I've already been up since 6am or earlier, so feel half the day is wasted. And other people think I'm completely anal for having done any research at all.
herbgeek, i feel your vacation frustration! I used to vacation with a dear friend who was of the options-then-lunch-then-shower-then-makeup type, and it drove me nuts. Ah, for a personality test for that before one vacationed with someone!
I did the MB in '84 for profiling what type of mission work I should be assigned to. It landed me exactly in something I loved, adventure camping ministry, and with a group of people that worked well together. But I hated all the personality profiling and 'lets call in a consultant and have a conference' throughout the '90's at every job I had from theme-park through banking through camp ministry. I don't remember or care to recall my MB assessment, but I do remember that I'm a 'retriever/otter, beaver' (I want to please others, have fun, and get the job done).
I did the MB in '84 for profiling what type of mission work I should be assigned to. It landed me exactly in something I loved, adventure camping ministry, and with a group of people that worked well together. But I hated all the personality profiling and 'lets call in a consultant and have a conference' throughout the '90's at every job I had from theme-park through banking through camp ministry. I don't remember or care to recall my MB assessment, but I do remember that I'm a 'retriever/otter, beaver' (I want to please others, have fun, and get the job done).
I was a "golden retriever" on one of those tests, which is interesting, since I have a golden retriever.
Ultralight
9-8-16, 10:30am
How about this: Which Walking Dead Character are you?
http://www.amc.com/shows/the-walking-dead/exclusives/which-character-are-you
How has your sensitivity gotten in the way, previously? Why do they say you are too sensitive? Does it affect your work, or your ability to get along with others? ...
Any good manager will know who the introverts are vs the extroverts and don't need a quiz to tell them. As an introvert, I know what you mean about meetings--I HATE them, and I rarely contribute, but that hasn't come up in my evaluations.
So I actually think that the sensitivity helps me get along better with others, but I have a hard time feeling comfortable with them and easily get my feelings hurt which I do not share. It definitely helps in dealing with parents and kids with high needs. The supervisors know I can handle some difficult people however I just am guessing at that sometimes because they would never tell me directly. I did hear they had me take a summer staff with chronic issues because they thought she would do better with me however no one told me before she had an issue at my camp.
And yes, they say I am too kind and sensitive but have never pointed out a situation where it is a deficit. Since I do not share when I get hurt feelings I can't imagine that is a problem, maybe they notice but since no one has ever talked to me (either in a caring way or a problem way) I don't know what to think. I am sure it is obvious I am sensitive on some level, maybe no one knows what to do with it? But we work in a caring profession, not accounting or construction after all. I just get tired, having empathetic on my review made such a difference, yeah I am tearing up right now, but it was a long 5 years to hear that.
On the introvert thing, my supervisor of about 5 years is an extrovert. She regularly has high intensity meetings and trainings, loud music, lots of group teambuilders, moving to different training stations, etc. It is not unusual in our type of work. However it has taken literally years to get her to understand that some of us are totally overwhelmed by that. Even in evaluating our programs, it is a ding against us if a child wants to read a book quietly after school. We are supposed to have them engaged all the time, and not every kid wants that. So she knows I have good ideas and then they don't think of me as having leadership potential because I don't say much in meetings.
iris lilies
9-8-16, 1:52pm
It sounds like you're expecting the MB test to validate some of your attributes--almost like the characters in the Wizard of Oz needing the testimonials and diplomas. I'm trying to think back to when I was a manager--I think a manager's responsibility is to learn enough about the employees strengths and weaknesses in order to manage them properly, but I think the only thing a personality test could do is maybe raise some potential indicators, or things I should look for. As Teacher Terry said, the tests themselves are not YOU, so they should be treated as a tool, not a mirror.
How has your sensitivity gotten in the way, previously? Why do they say you are too sensitive? Does it affect your work, or your ability to get along with others? I think about my DH--he's a cryer, too. He cries every day. I'll go into his office and he'll be at the internet at 10 in the morning and he'll be sitting there crying and I say, "Oh, for crissake, what are you crying about NOW??" And he'll sob, "I'm not crying." He's usually not sad, just touched about something he saw online, or maybe he's listening to a certain music, or reading a text from one of the kids. In the workplace, I think we're often expected to handle our jobs like physicians do--with a degree of professional dispassion.
Any good manager will know who the introverts are vs the extroverts and don't need a quiz to tell them. As an introvert, I know what you mean about meetings--I HATE them, and I rarely contribute, but that hasn't come up in my evaluations.
My DH is the cryer iour household, too! They are amusing, these crying men. I read somewhere it is a physiological marker that controls it.
Anyway, I dont mind someone tearing up in professional situations IF the cryer and others around them dont expect me to respond to the crying. If we dont have to stop the meeting and fawn over the cryer, a verklempt response is ok!
I once hired someone who got all teary during an interview but because she demonstrated good leadership qualities I ignored her tears during the interview, I considered them just one kind of nonverbal expression within a norm of expressions. Thst person went on to do well, she was decisive and logical, not a mass of emotins.
ZG, I Thought about your request for advance notification of something that may upset you. This sounds as though you expect a trigger warning. I think you know what many if us think about trigger warnings! It aint good. :~) I think it is better if your boss and colleagues learn to accept a bit of wetness as a normal human response. Perhaps we all need to expand our acceptance of human responses in the workplace. Women (and my DH) may cry a bit and men may yell a bit. Your tears may upset others and I think they should get over that.
Of course, too much crying and yelling is upsetting for everyone.
I'm not a crier or at least usually not at the time something happens, I'll cry later, maybe. I feel the feelings, I just don't cry as easily as others. This was a detriment in hospice, where sharing stories employees cried, we had inservices that seemed designed to make you cry and I often did not cry openly at a death. Surprisingly, not crying at a death was ok, usually I would tear up a bit when I got to the family's home but then I was able to set about comforting them. But because I didn't bawl at work, I got a reputation as a non-crier. The one job where it would be better to be an F. However, I would argue that because I think I was pretty good at what I did regardless of my sobbing status.
You would also think it was not a good job to be an introvert in but I think that helped me be a good listener. When I needed to be, I was an extrovert at the office.
This is renewing my interest in MB. I think I'm gonna read up on it and of course, take it again, lol. No matter how hard I try, I am always an INTJ, damn it!
Anyway, I dont mind someone tearing up in professional situations IF the cryer and others around them dont expect me to respond to the crying. If we dont have to stop the meeting and fawn over the cryer, a verklempt response is ok!
I have never cried at work. Well, I cried twice. Once when my personal life was in shambles and as a result I got a very bad evaluation (I think it was a low "C"). I went to the ladies room and cried in the stall. Then, the day I left that same job--even though I HATED the job--I had a surprise attack and had to duck into an empty office where I sobbed buckets over leaving. I think it was because it marked a huge passage for me. We were leaving the state and moving to NJ, and there were tons of disappointments related to why we were forced to leave--like foreclosure and poverty. Interesting how the prospect of LEAVING that behind left me in tears.
Oh. And the third time, just a few days before I handed in my notice at my last job in 2008, I cried out of pure frustration with my job. That was my cue to leave.
On a personal level, I don't think I'm a cold person, but some may think me so, because I hardly ever cry period. I cry vicariously over movies.. like Camelot, Man of LaMancha, Schindler's List, Stella, Dad... those movies left me in a puddle. But normally, I avoid puddles at all costs. I think that's a trait of adult children of alcoholics.
Plus, my husband cries for both of us.
my ex-husband, a mean SOB, would sob at every kids' movie, especially every time we watched Toy Story. It was his only endearing quality. We had a preemie newborn and I had to remind him to stop sobbing over Princess Di's death and help me in the real world, lol.
My beloved and I do the sentimental cry over sad movies and pet stories alike.
I would have sooner scooped my eyeballs out with a melon baller than have ever cried at work, though I remember my voice trembling once. I worked with a woman prone to blubbering meltdowns, which I gamely ignored.
ApatheticNoMore
9-8-16, 4:09pm
I've cried at work but seldom about work. Work is just not that important to either cry about or maintain appearances for. It's BS in the grand scheme of things pretty much. For instance I cried at work quietly at my desk for months after my dad died. I'm not an emotional person but I fail at the 100% unfeeling no matter what is going on test and if work doesn't like it well it's not like I really cared, more important things to think about in the scheme of things. If the economic system wants robots maybe they should just hire them. I doubt anyone even noticed the silent tears most of the time. I attract very little attention as a general rule.
ZG, I Thought about your request for advance notification of something that may upset you. This sounds as though you expect a trigger warning. I think you know what many if us think about trigger warnings! It aint good. :~) I think it is better if your boss and colleagues learn to accept a bit of wetness as a normal human response. Perhaps we all need to expand our acceptance of human responses in the workplace. Women (and my DH) may cry a bit and men may yell a bit. Your tears may upset others and I think they should get over that.
.
Oh dear, I really don't want to be a trigger warning person. Ack, but if people accept a certain amount of wetness I am okay. I like that people should just get over me being sensitive. Honestly I don't do it to make anyone uncomfortable, I told a boss in one private meeting about something I took as aggressive from her that I hated it and wish I could turn it off. I brought up some difficult issues, talked directly and professionally and felt I needed to clear the air rather than have things fester. It took a year before I was ready to even talk about the deeper issue. I wasn't even able to talk to my direct supervisor but gave her permission to talk to her. After that meeting I got 2 integrity pins, one from each manager! (we have pins we can give for our 6 core values and wear on our lanyards) So I think that means I did a good job. I just don't understand why we need to show tearjerkers at work to get us all inspired to do great jobs! We care a lot, there was one person who didn't just tear up but flat out cried in meetings because she cared so much for the kids. That was uncomfortable but she has gotten better.
I am thinking about telling my supervisor how much it meant to me that she said empathy in my review, not TOO sensitive or caring. Maybe people don't know how much negative some sensitive people get about this trait.
God help us...
Trigger warnings?
I am seeing tests similar to this for job interviews. Don't like at all.
God help us...
Trigger warnings?
I'm sure God listens to atheists with as much interest as anyone else.
We already have trigger warnings for people in the form of reputation.
"Caves under pressure."
"Thinks rage is a strategy."
"Weaponizes tears."
"Trustworthy as a snake."
"Throws subordinates under the bus."
"Proactive only in assigning blame."
"Requires more maintenance than an F-35."
"This diva can't sing."
"Information hoarder."
"Highly selective memory: get it in writing."
"Thinks knowing the password makes him smarter than you."
"Always check her math."
"Aggressively insecure."
"Blames management for rainy days."
"Confuses incompetence with bold rebellion."
"Believes digging the same ditch for thirty years makes him an expert hydrologist."
"Acts as if everyone is as treacherous as she is."
"Views co-workers as obstacles."
"Snitch."
"Suck-up."
"Grievance collector."
"Whatever you do, don't ask him about his kids."
How about this: Which Walking Dead Character are you?
http://www.amc.com/shows/the-walking-dead/exclusives/which-character-are-you
Now that interests me - I wonder if I am Carol? (My favorite).
Ultralight
9-12-16, 7:22am
Now that interests me - I wonder if I am Carol? (My favorite).
Did you take the test?! lol
The Walking Dead is the only show I watch regularly. But I wait until it is out on DVD, so I am often a season or more behind. So no spoilers! haha
I was Hershel according to the test. Not surprising, I suppose...
Sonora Shepherd
9-14-16, 10:52pm
The Myers Briggs is not a "test," it is an indicator. You will find out what your preferences are. It does not measure your worth as a person. I helps figure out how you make decisions. It was invaluable to me because it helped me figure out why my family drove me nuts. I am an INTP and they were SJ's and fussed a lot. My husband taught this in his leadership classes at the college level and used it as a consultant for leadership training. It is only a guideline. If the Myers Briggs is threatening to people, it is not being used properly.
HappyHiker
9-15-16, 8:48pm
The Myers Briggs is not a "test," it is an indicator. You will find out what your preferences are. It does not measure your worth as a person. I helps figure out how you make decisions. It was invaluable to me because it helped me figure out why my family drove me nuts. I am an INTP and they were SJ's and fussed a lot. My husband taught this in his leadership classes at the college level and used it as a consultant for leadership training. It is only a guideline. If the Myers Briggs is threatening to people, it is not being used properly.
Thank you for your post. I took a self-administered Meyers Briggs as a lark -- not as an employment test. I'd never taken one before. I was very surprised at how revealing it was of my personality/life choices and how I relate to the world and people. It's not really good, bad or ugly, just a portrait of one's personality and inclinations. It was very interesting and I enjoyed this glimpse into my psyche -- fascinating. I found it a learning tool--and comforting in some ways.
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