Coming home to a "friend"

[catherine]

I was chatting with DS32 today--the son who writes/plays music and serves tables up in VT.

A year ago he moved out of my other son's house after that son got married. It was a big move because DS32 had never lived alone before.

But he completely embraced his little apartment. It's very small, but it has character--it's upstairs in one of the original houses in Burlington. He only pays 825 for it. Surprisingly, he jumped into decorating it nicely--getting a sofa and table and chairs. Lighting a candle at night, playing music on his turntable.

We were talking today about how gratifying it is to clean and tidy one's space. Yesterday he gave his apartment a good clean, which he says takes all of 45 minutes. He said that sometimes after work, when he's walking home (his walking commute is about 5 minutes), he said "This sounds really weird, Mom, but I feel like I'm coming home to a friend."

I thought, what a nice way to put it.. and a good analogy. I said to him "So much better than coming home to 'someone' who steals your energy."

We were talking about simple living and here he is, happy as a clam in 300 sq ft, no debt, no car, time for writing music, playing music, lots of friends just steps away on Church Street. He makes me think of that line in the Prophet, On Children: "You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you."--He told me that I was his inspiration for a simple life, but I think it's time for him to be the teacher and me to be the student, because I need to take a lesson from his playbook!

Is your home your friend, or foe?

[LDAHL]

Is your home your friend, or foe?

A friend, but a high-maintenance friend who never picks up the tab.

[Teacher Terry]

Definitely my friend:)) It is decorated how I like it, fairly easy to keep clean, uncluttered, etc. It feels good to be home.

[razz]

I fell in love with my new little house when I first toured it 2 years ago. The love affair continues... I have designed my gardening flowers and veggies to suit my agenda and abilities, the 16x16 foot patio to last as long as I do and just enough green space to frame the house. The neighbours' 40 foot conifer trees provide the needed shade from the hot afternoon sun. Did I say that I love my little house?

[Tammy]

Friend! All 587 sq ft of it.

[iris lilies]

Home as sanctuary is an important concept.

My downstairs is definitely my friend. Every day I sit in the living room and marvel how beautiful it is. Everything has a place. It supports my reading, tv watching, Ipad using, studying, and hobby work area. Last week I cleaned woodwork in parts of our downstairs area, it was filthy, and it cleaned right up. It is shiney! The paint is still strong.

my 2nd floor--not so much. Weve got a big roof problem, it leaks. We dont talk about it. It Is FORBIDDEN to discuss it because somehow, it becomes my fault. So, I just ignore it even during 4 bucket rains. Occasionally I Think we should see a marriage counselor about this roof thing.

Our basement is kind of a friendly, chaotic place. It is a mess but it can be tamed. It is an active place changing out seasonal goods.

The third floor is DH's man cave, plus it holds storage for craploads of things
I no longer care about. I'll bet I havent been up there for more than a year. I dont consider it an especially friendly place.

[JaneV2.0]

My house and I are a bad match. Like the victim of a shotgun marriage, I committed too soon, and not wisely.

Fortunately, it has appreciated nicely and maybe in a couple of years we'll part ways. One good thing, it's prompted me to develop a detailed list of features to avoid in the future.

[freshstart]

my room is a friend and a sanctuary. The LR is mostly a friend and is the scene of developing a better relationship with my dad. I like my BR, I like changing out shower curtains when I'm bored but haven't hung any art in there yet so it feels undone. The deck is a friend. The rest of the house- foe and gives me stress. \

catherine, you did something right with your son, I am glad he is at peace

[Chicken lady]

Messy, relaxed, creative, comfortable, undemanding, definitely a friend. Maybe not the kind of friend you introduce to your parents though.....

[Tybee]

The outdoors, the barn, the shed, all feel friendly.
The house itself feels more like a sick, demanding relative.

[jp1]

Our apartment is my friend, but he's an expensive friend. I love being here and as an introvert in an extrovert's job I find that I'm often happy spending all of my weekend time here. Sitting on the deck reading when the weather's nice, sitting in the den when it's not. Cooking up a nice meal in the kitchen with SO just across the counter in the living room so I can talk to him. It's all just nice.

My apartment in NYC, back in the day, that was a true friend. Like catherine's son's apartment it was cheap. Cheap enough that I could pay the rent and still have money for food and other small expenses when I was unemployed for 10 months. And I LOVED coming home to it. I had so many happy experiences there. I kept it neat always, and could do a pretty thorough clean in almost no time. If I ever find myself single again I'd like to find the California version of it. Small and simple and cheap, but still warm and dry and cozy and cheerful.

[ApatheticNoMore]

it's mixed. the thing is even if it's more alright than ideal, it's actually a very comfortable alright, feels more like a home than an apartment due to the layout (which I definitely prefer), adequate space, and it is a good deal for the rent I pay (I mean when people are paying $825 for a "very small" space - yes it's quite reasonable). And moving would be a gamble as you never know what you are getting into, not saying I might not do it as I'd rather commute less, but there is that.