Good books on maintaining boundaries

[jsmadge]

Any suggestions for helpful books on how to set and maintain boundaries? As a long time enabler, I am finally tired of feeling put - upon and want to do things differently; but I don't quite know how!

i'm really feeling the need to do this in my professional and friendship areas, rather than family, but welcome all suggestions.

many thanks!

[catherine]

I think one of the classic books is Boundaries by Henry Cloud (https://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-When-Take-Control-Your/dp/0310247454/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1475666960&sr=8-1&keywords=boundaries), BUT it does have a Christian bent, so if that's going to be off-putting to you, you might not like it. However, the information is good information about how to approach and enforce boundaries.

[freshstart]

that book just arrived at my library thanks to Catherine's suggestion, I'm looking forward to learning what I should've learned decades ago

[iris lilies]

Or, I could tutor you! Haha, kidding, but I am REALLY good at the boundary thing. :~)

My screen name on another website is "People Pleaser!" used ironically.:)

[ApatheticNoMore]

sometimes there are assertiveness classes you can take which seems very much related (there's al-anon too but that's more specialized if you are enabling someone with addictions so may not apply). Don't know of a book.

[Tybee]

Codependency No More by Melanie Beattie is a classic in the field.

[iris lilies]

ANM, you are right there.

I hadn't thought that current socieital chat about "boundaries" hits many of the same targets as yesteryear's "assertiveness" cncerns. But yeah, mostly same issues dressed differently.

[Zoe Girl]

I love the book Civilized Assertiveness for Women. I even took a class, the author worked with me after and decided I didn't have a boudary issue. I had a bully principal in my situation actually. Very good validation. Not sure if you are female but this book does a good job of how to do boundaries with some real class.

[ToomuchStuff]

Or, I could tutor you! Haha, kidding, but I am REALLY good at the boundary thing. :~)

My screen name on another website is "People Pleaser!" used ironically.:)

Isn't that one of those hyphenated last names? First name Nadda.

[iris lilies]

Isn't that one of those hyphenated last names? First name Nadda.
Haha, that would work, too.

[catherine]

Or, I could tutor you! Haha, kidding, but I am REALLY good at the boundary thing. :~)

My screen name on another website is "People Pleaser!" used ironically.:)

Yes, you should write a book, IL! Sometimes I post stuff here hoping you'll respond with a kick in the pants! I know I need some stiff medicine sometimes. Same reason I like Dave Ramsey. My MIL was equally no-nonsense and I absolutely loved her for it.