emotionally immature staff

[Zoe Girl]

Well some things got better, and some have not. I have a new assistant starting on the 21st!! I am so happy. I think she will be a great fit. Meanwhile my one staff is just not going to work out. I am going in to work this morning, the morning of my birthday party, to work on hiring processes since I have to be on the work server to do it. On Tuesday we had a meeting to plan our camp days and at first he said he couldn't come due to his second job. Then he said he could come so he joined the group. We were all eating some pizza and getting ready for a meeting that went until 8:30 pm. After 20 minutes he said he had to go and just left. When I talked to him later he said he was stressed about the election and frustrated with us because we were eating pizza. Nooo! You can't just leave! Yesterday he was frustrated and left the room to go to the bathroom for 20 minutes, my other staff thought he was with me since he was gone so long. I had no idea since I was waiting with a student and didn't see him. He also thinks we are all very negative to him, I have never heard that about my staff who has been with me a long time and I have never heard that about myself. He is showing improvement working with the kids but his ability to work with other adults is getting worse. I train people to work with kids, and yes on a team, but your personal issues are your own.

I am actually doing okay with it, I know myself and my work well enough to know that I am not a negative person to work with. I actually have worked with quite a few difficult staff and been successful. I am also staying out of psycho-babbling this and figuring it out too much (like the dude has some mental issues). There are moments and comments he has made that make me think he either has a problem with women or he just expects us to hold his hand much more. But my style is to support adults and kids to be independent, and my boss has my back on this.

At least I hired for mornings so I do not need to be there early at all! That makes handling afternoon staffing crunch much easier.

[iris lilies]

Awww, too bad you have to do this on your birthday. Happy birthday! Its a big one for you if I remember correctly.

Your problem employee has performed exactly the way his earlier work projected he would. I hope the process to boot him is underway.

[ToomuchStuff]

So he is acting like a kid. He simply wants money with no responsibilities and the best bet is to fire him.
We had a kid who tried to work like that. The two owners are brothers and I have worked with them for a LONG time. I am on the bank accounts and a member of the corporation (and their families consider me a member, been that long). The kid thought he should be doing what I do, after a year, and went so far as to steal property and throw it at me, trying to get me to leave. I would get rid of him before you get that far.
Something like "I am sorry, but we need some one mature enough to understand and follow these rules we have set out, this is not just a babysitting job for the kids or us for you."

[Zoe Girl]

Yeah, we did predict it. I realized that I needed to do 2 things, hire as quickly as possible and do my best to train him. I feel confident that I did my best job as a manager

I am not going into previous patterns of blaming myself, waffling on letting him go, buying into his criticisms, or avoiding conflict by not talking to him. I have a responsibility to the kids and to my staff who is working hard to learn new roles. The one thing I will admit to not listening to him on certain topics. He had ideas about how the program should be structured, that it should be free play instead of structured activities. We have had at least 4 conversations about why we have structured programming. One element that I am mad about is that he felt with 3 months experience he could continually question this despite my years of experience and college degree. I have a lifetime of proving myself and I am the boss now, so ask and learn.

[Tybee]

Yeah, we did predict it. I realized that I needed to do 2 things, hire as quickly as possible and do my best to train him. I feel confident that I did my best job as a manager

I am not going into previous patterns of blaming myself, waffling on letting him go, buying into his criticisms, or avoiding conflict by not talking to him. I have a responsibility to the kids and to my staff who is working hard to learn new roles. The one thing I will admit to not listening to him on certain topics. He had ideas about how the program should be structured, that it should be free play instead of structured activities. We have had at least 4 conversations about why we have structured programming. One element that I am mad about is that he felt with 3 months experience he could continually question this despite my years of experience and college degree. I have a lifetime of proving myself and I am the boss now, so ask and learn.

I think you are letting this bug you more than you might want to. He sucks at his job so he loses his job. End of problem. You don't have to psychoanalyze (really inappropriate and boundary related) or fix him or psychoanalyze yourself . Just fire him and move on, your judgment is fine.

[iris lilies]

Zoe, I think you have reached the place, and it a good place, to see the difference between an imperfect employee who could benefit from coaching, and an employee unsuitable for the job. Perhaps he is unsuitable for any job. But you know what? That is not your problem if he really cant get along with anyone in any job.

It took me many years to have enough bad employees under my belt to be able to recognize and deal with them. Swiftly. And then, I learned to appreciate the ones who were found --right away--to be unsuitable bcause that is the easiest firing situation! Weird, but true. It is less painful to get rid of bad employees than to baby, for years, a marginal employee. It was the margnal ones who did me in.

This guy is s not marginal, he is flat out bad.