Spirally down the rabbit hole

[Chicken lady]

My parents left sauturday, my kids all left yesterday, dh went to work today - post holiday let down.

it's been raining and "dusk" all day. The SAD is bad.

gained back 5 lbs over the holiday week. Exrecised this morning but haven't moved much since.

keeping the fire going but still feel cold. Obsessing about environmental impact lately and don't want to turn the lights on. Spent an hour researching conditioners and picked a new one that is more environmentally friendly to buy when mine runs out. - just trying to feel like I'm moving in the right direction.

did laundry and dishes and need to clean the house.

I love Christmas and presents, but nobody I buy for needs anything and all are overwhelmed with stuff which makes shopping no fun. Sending some stuff to toys for tots but afraid it will be badly recieved. Do kids want anything that doesn't plug in/use batteries anymore? I listen to my students obsess over online gaming and Pokemon go and I just can't encourage that. Dh nieces and nephews are getting Amazon gift cards - bah humbug.

Still overwhelmed by all the stuff in my house.

back to teaching on Wednesday and torn about that and working in my studio - does the world need another dish or lumpy piece of kid art? Why am I using electrify to fire the kiln?

looking down the end of a chain that leads to staying in bed and starving to death but knowing that's no kind of answer and looking for direction....

[Mary B.]

Sounds like a tough day, Chicken lady.

Is there one thing you can do that will contribute to a better feeling? Maybe a hot, brief, environmentally-responsible shower and a cup of tea? And I'd definitely turn the lights on -- November is such a gloomy month even without holiday let-downs.

[nswef]

Cl, sometimes the environment needs to take a back seat to your health. Use the lights, all the lights in the house. Think of warm sun . Yes, the world probably does need more pots. You sold several as I recall, so someone wants or needs them They are gifts from you hands. What better thing to put out in the world. Hang on....in 30 days the light will start coming back.

[razz]

When I have those days, I take off for a local greenhouse that has stuff growing and advise the staff that I need a 'green fix'. They laugh and completely understand. Seeing living things thriving really helps. Sometimes I buy just one carnation or rose and place it in my favourite corner to enjoy. Occasionally, I try a small amount of a special coffee savouring the gratitude of being able to smell it and enjoy the taste.
Hang in there!

[iris lilies]

When I have those days, I take off for a local greenhouse that has stuff growing and advise the staff that I need a 'green fix'. They laugh and completely understand. Seeing living things thriving really helps. Sometimes I buy just one carnation or rose and place it in my favourite corner to enjoy. Occasionally, I try a small amount of a special coffee savouring the gratitude of being able to smell it and enjoy the taste.
Hang in there!
Yes! i forgot that whenI lived in cold, snowy northern Iowa I used to hit the greenhouses on weekends to see green stuff growing.

I wonder if those places are still there, everything seems to be sold through big box stores or else little gifty botiwues.

Today was overcast all day and our normally busy young dog slept all day. She isnt sick, she just had no gumption to run around.

[iris lilies]

CL, the world doesnt need more pots and such. But the act of creating is the thing.

[Mary B.]

CL, the world doesnt need more pots and such. But the act of creating is the thing.

That really rings true for me. We might not need more pots, but we definitely need more potters.

[Chicken lady]

I'm not sure the world needs more potters. I think maybe the world needs more farmers. And cooks. And people who can fix things.

my friend Darryl was a city cop. I met him when he was working as a camp cook. He had shot someone and was on administrative leave. The next summer he came back and I said "Darryl, did you shoot someone else?" And he said "no. I had a lot of time to think. If you're a bad cop - people shoot at you. And if you're a good cop - people shoot at you. But nobody shoots at a good cook."

i'm hoping today will be better. Odds are good nobody will shoot at me.

[Tybee]

CL, I know you suffer from SAD and what you are describing sounds like depressed thinking. Hang in there, and consider whether counseling could help.

[Chicken lady]

Yes, that would be the rabbit hole. Sometimes I just need someone to say "DO this - it will help/matter. Then do this...."

it's why the job and the farm are good for me - when I am with my students I feel like what I am doing matters. I am pulled up and out of myself by their needs/interest/expectations. And I have to go out and milk and feed the goats. No matter what. It is not an option.

[Rogar]

I was reminiscing the other day about the time when people used to discuss things like watt-a-meter and hyper-mileing and was wondering if that degree of energy concern was dead. I'm glad at least a few people are keeping to torch going. I've converted all of the lights I use routinely to LEDs and have to confess during the dark nights of winter I probably turn on more than is practical, but in the big scheme of things it probably doesn't not have a big impact. I am strict with other things and maybe make up for it. I have a friend who is very conscious of his carbon footprint and his house is probably among a small percentage of very efficient homes. Sometimes when he splurges a little and is feeling guilty he will buy carbon credits. I'm a little sensitive to bright light and noise in the mornings and some winter days will just light a few candles and use candle light until my first cup of coffee is down.

[Float On]

When I have those days, I take off for a local greenhouse that has stuff growing and advise the staff that I need a 'green fix'. They laugh and completely understand. Seeing living things thriving really helps. Sometimes I buy just one carnation or rose and place it in my favourite corner to enjoy. Occasionally, I try a small amount of a special coffee savouring the gratitude of being able to smell it and enjoy the taste.
Hang in there!

This is such a good idea. I always feel better when I visit the greenhouse at the college which has 4 greenhouses (one full of orchids) or one about 40 miles away that has 8 greenhouses. The warmth, the life, the shades of green. It is healthy. Maybe everyone should get a plant for christmas!

I feel for you CL. I get sad right after Thanksgiving, especially when I can't see family. I grew up going to one grandma's house where there was 100 people and then the other grandma's house where there were 40 people. To not be around family leaves me with a "it didn't happen this year" feeling. I also get very disappointed that the Christmas season can't be what I want it to be. Every year I've pared down a little more. When I opened the boxes this year all I had was the tree trimmings and 5 nativity scenes. Not even one strand of lights for outside. I think I went to far.

[flowerseverywhere]

This is such a good idea. I always feel better when I visit the greenhouse at the college which has 4 greenhouses (one full of orchids) or one about 40 miles away that has 8 greenhouses. The warmth, the life, the shades of green. It is healthy. Maybe everyone should get a plant for christmas!

I feel for you CL. I get sad right after Thanksgiving, especially when I can't see family. I grew up going to one grandma's house where there was 100 people and then the other grandma's house where there were 40 people. To not be around family leaves me with a "it didn't happen this year" feeling. I also get very disappointed that the Christmas season can't be what I want it to be. Every year I've pared down a little more. When I opened the boxes this year all I had was the tree trimmings and 5 nativity scenes. Not even one strand of lights for outside. I think I went to far.

I read a story the other day I wanted to share. Every year a famous quilter, Bonnie Hunter runs a mystery quilt. The first clue is on her blog and Facebook on Black Friday and once a week clues come out for five or six weeks. People questioned Why she did this on such a busy time of the year. The response was many people have little family or don't celebrate Christmas. They watch the frenzy around them and feel even sadder and lonelier so she does this for them. It centers you to be involved in something that does not involve consumerism". People share their progress, compliment each other. The first clue came out and I shared my first set of blocks on Facebook on her page. I have almost 300 likes and fifty lovely comments on my scrappy blocks. It is almost like stepping outside all the madness and focusing on something other than the holiday.

Maybe be that is what we all need to do. Focus on feeding chickens, sewing scraps of fabric together. Planning our gardens (who doesn't eagerly await the seed catalogs in their mailbox). Propagating your African Violet's to give to friends. Walking in a quiet park, sitting on a rock and listening to no sound of civilization. Smelling the fresh air, hearing a bird song. Baking a few dozen cookies and giving them to someone who is lonely. Calling an old friend you have neglected. Calling your local food bank, seeing what their biggest need is and challenge yourself to find the best buys on those items and donate them.
The pagan part of the Christmas celebration can be depressing and disappointing. Few of us grew up in or have a Norman Rockwell family. But we are part of a vibrant, changing world and we can make a difference.

[sweetana3]

flowerseverywhere, I am also a member of the Bonnie Hunter group. Have yet to make the first clue's set of blocks but have the fabric all pulled and it was all in stash. No new $$ paid out.

I had to unfollow her Facebook page because of the hundreds of repeated questions and complaints. Much nicer to just look and back away during the initial run up to mystery time.

[JaneV2.0]

I don't find the pagan part of Christmas depressing at all--unless you mean the chopping down of a oung trees. Most of what we consider Christmas traditions are pagan, after all. I can see why minimalists would find all the consumer-driven excess depressing, though.

I'd never heard of Bonnie Hunter--I've been out of touch with quilting culture for awhile--but a mystery quilt would be a nice diversion if you had troubling holiday issues, that's for sure.

[Chicken lady]

I'm not sure what a mystery quilt is, but I'm back with my students today.

They never fail to lift me up.

[freshstart]

I'm glad to hear that, CL. One day at a time

[Teacher Terry]

Have you tried the special lamp for people with SAD?

[sweetana3]

A mystery quilt is a pattern that is dispensed in steps over a period of time without knowing the end result. Eventually the pieces are put together to make the whole top. Bonnie Hunter's mysteries involve large numbers of pieces and a lot of sewing but the end result is great. She likes to use scraps and a huge variety of prints.

Last year she had the idea of using paint chips to use for color choices. Whole paint aisles were full of ladies pulling paint chips. Black was often gone. Became a joke when employees in the paint dept asked paint or quilt?

[Chicken lady]

The quilt sounds fun.

i have not tried an actual light box, but I have used a light meter to establish equivalent areas in my home. However, I am reluctant to turn the lights on sometimes. Also, sitting still is counterproductive.

[flowerseverywhere]

flowerseverywhere, I am also a member of the Bonnie Hunter group. Have yet to make the first clue's set of blocks but have the fabric all pulled and it was all in stash. No new $$ paid out.

I had to unfollow her Facebook page because of the hundreds of repeated questions and complaints. Much nicer to just look and back away during the initial run up to mystery time.

i also unfollowed but I go to my groups and pull all the posts up there and read what I want to. Mine is also from stash and when I posted my completed clue one I have over 350 likes and fifty comments at last look. Some of the comments ask the same questions over and over but I just post a link to Bonnie's blog. I try to be patient because many people are just not computer savvy and frankly some people are not as bright so I try to be kind. Especially with all the hate I see spewed on the internet I feel like a little patience and kindness might help someone going through a rough time. I have seen very little complaining though. So as not to derail I am going to start a new thread about quilting and crafts.