Predatory Marriages

[thinkgreen]

After reading Razz's post about financial abuse, I saw this article which presents a different aspect of the vulnerability of older people in the modern world.

http://news.nationalpost.com/news/canada/niece-says-uncles-new-female-friend-had-her-disinherited-as-lawyers-warn-of-predatory-marriages

In the case of the above article there was not a marriage involved. However, I understand that there used to be, or perhaps still is, a "gold digger's clause" in many pension plans. That clause stipulates that, if the pension holder marries after they reach the age of 60, the surviving spouse does not inherit the pension income.

[pinkytoe]

This statement in the comments sections caught my eye:

Some women have a sixth sense for men who are psychologically vulnerable.
I can't say how many times I have noticed very sad, lonely looking middle-aged or older men at the grocery, library, etc.

[LDAHL]

I'm in the process of updating my estate plan/will, and I've been told that in my state the important thing with pensions, retirement accounts, etc. is to have a current beneficiary on record with the administrator. We sometimes see the opposite problem from the article listed above: a guy marries and divorces then remarries, but neglects changing his designated beneficiary. Thirty years later, he dies and his wife and kids discover the first wife gets whatever survivor benefits his plan offers.

My pension system has a requirement that if you want to choose a payout option that leaves your surviving spouse with less than 50% of what you got, the spouse needs to sign off on it.

[lmerullo]

Pretty sure when I was working we had the sign off clause...I always named the kids as beneficiaries, bypassing dh. He was ok with it.

I have a friend who lost her soon to be ex, and is now sitting pretty as he didn't have his retirement from the military changed or insurance either. They were not together for years, but hadn't finalized yet. Really sad because his kids got a reduced benefit.

[jp1]

I'm in the process of updating my estate plan/will, and I've been told that in my state the important thing with pensions, retirement accounts, etc. is to have a current beneficiary on record with the administrator. We sometimes see the opposite problem from the article listed above: a guy marries and divorces then remarries, but neglects changing his designated beneficiary. Thirty years later, he dies and his wife and kids discover the first wife gets whatever survivor benefits his plan offers.



Yes, this. Even if one is young, this is very important. When SO and I were still dating his roommate developed a critical illness and ended up in the hospital in a coma with no hope of recovery. Because his ex, who he hadn't been with for several years, was still on his medical power of attorney he(the ex), and his new partner, had to come to NJ from Florida to tell the doctors to end life support.

[LDAHL]

Yes, this. Even if one is young, this is very important. When SO and I were still dating his roommate developed a critical illness and ended up in the hospital in a coma with no hope of recovery. Because his ex, who he hadn't been with for several years, was still on his medical power of attorney he(the ex), and his new partner, had to come to NJ from Florida to tell the doctors to end life support.

That's an excellent point. One thing I'm learning in this estate plan update is that a will is only part of it. You need to think about beneficiaries, powers of attorney, who knows which combination, password or PIN for what, where the important documents can be found, and a surprisingly long list of individuals and institutions that need to be notified.

It takes a lot of planning to die responsibly.

[catherine]

It takes a lot of planning to die responsibly.

Oh, the joy of being broke! I don't have all that stuff to worry about. My kids can fight over the 40 year old Ethan Allen furniture vs. my entry level computer. My daughter can get my jewelry, my artistic son the paintings my brother and father painted. And God knows that whoever loves me won't be with me for my money.

[TVRodriguez]

It takes a lot of planning to die responsibly.

Well said. As an estate planning and probate attorney, I always tell my clients to pat themselves on the back for making it to my office alive. I honestly make a lot more money on those folks who arrive here dead. There' s a lot more work (and money) for me on the estates where the decedent didn't properly plan ahead.

[Tybee]

Well said. As an estate planning and probate attorney, I always tell my clients to pat themselves on the back for making it to my office alive. I honestly make a lot more money on those folks who arrive here dead. There' s a lot more work (and money) for me on the estates where the decedent didn't properly plan ahead.

I'm sure I am missing something, but what money I do have (and who knows what that will be when I die) is for most part with beneficiaries on the accounts, the correct ones, split among my children. IRA's have beneficiaries and bank accounts pay on death beneficiaries.

Any real estate, on the other hand, will be a pita.

I definitely sometimes feel like that guy who is worth more dead than alive to his kids. Agh.