Zoe Girl
12-20-16, 11:34am
after 4 years of asking! I am really happy and I think my task right now is to let the past go.
We have a program that helps us evaluate program quality that is used in our department and with many of the after school organizations in Denver. I have been using it since it was first introduced. My first year I did this program with 4 schools and since then I have been at one school doing the program. It effectively makes me the person with the most hands on experience in our department. There are trainings that need to be given on a regular basis with this program. I have been asking to do more training for several years but people seem to forget or something has been going on. So this year I found more people to talk to about it, brought it up with my supervisor again, and we had a new person who runs a lot of this so I went directly to him and expressed my interest. That means in spring I have 6 weeks of online classes, 4 skype classes and 3 full days of training, but I am super excited about it.
I am really reflecting on how hard this has been, every time you put yourself out there you are a little bit vulnerable. As you all know I am super sensitive. So it took a lot to keep going. Some years I would get a chance to do some training here and there, I always join the committee, I get good feedback when I do training, but it didn't quite click. I have internalized a lot and lost some confidence over the years, questions like why are they continually choosing people who have less experience and less background in teaching than me who is asking to do this? I even knew some people who were chosen did not want to be trainers. As I write this I wonder if because of my higher education level they expected me to leave and didn't want to invest in the cost of it. I have one of the highest education levels in our department so what can you offer me realistically, it is very rewarding from a manager standpoint to offer professional development to those with lower experience and education. I have been asking for different professional development opportunities, and found a conference on my own that was wonderful to go to last month. I just think they really don;'t know what to do with me :) Yeah for INFJ-ness huh!
We have a program that helps us evaluate program quality that is used in our department and with many of the after school organizations in Denver. I have been using it since it was first introduced. My first year I did this program with 4 schools and since then I have been at one school doing the program. It effectively makes me the person with the most hands on experience in our department. There are trainings that need to be given on a regular basis with this program. I have been asking to do more training for several years but people seem to forget or something has been going on. So this year I found more people to talk to about it, brought it up with my supervisor again, and we had a new person who runs a lot of this so I went directly to him and expressed my interest. That means in spring I have 6 weeks of online classes, 4 skype classes and 3 full days of training, but I am super excited about it.
I am really reflecting on how hard this has been, every time you put yourself out there you are a little bit vulnerable. As you all know I am super sensitive. So it took a lot to keep going. Some years I would get a chance to do some training here and there, I always join the committee, I get good feedback when I do training, but it didn't quite click. I have internalized a lot and lost some confidence over the years, questions like why are they continually choosing people who have less experience and less background in teaching than me who is asking to do this? I even knew some people who were chosen did not want to be trainers. As I write this I wonder if because of my higher education level they expected me to leave and didn't want to invest in the cost of it. I have one of the highest education levels in our department so what can you offer me realistically, it is very rewarding from a manager standpoint to offer professional development to those with lower experience and education. I have been asking for different professional development opportunities, and found a conference on my own that was wonderful to go to last month. I just think they really don;'t know what to do with me :) Yeah for INFJ-ness huh!