PDA

View Full Version : Drugs, death, disaster - and how were your holidays?



rosarugosa
12-30-16, 9:32pm
In years past, there was a little girl names Alissa who meant a lot to us. My sister & her husband and DH & me took her on vacation with us to Newport a couple of times - with her Mom's approval, kept her out of school for a week and took her swimming and shopping and sightseeing. She loved to swim, and I used to call her our little mermaid. She was a pretty special kid, and I don't much like kids. She even told her Mom once that she knew she was special because I liked her. :)
Fast forward a bunch of years, and Alissa is a young woman with a small child and some issues, some serious substance abuse going on. Her Mom died of cancer last year, her psycho brother introduced her to heroin. Downward spiral, loses custody of her daughter, rehab, no place to go. My sweet, sweet sister takes her in.
Things seem to be going pretty well. My sister really loves this girl, and does everything under the sun to make her feel loved and supported. Drives her places, buys her things, urges her to make/keep appointments. Hung out like best buddies. Put up a Christmas tree and stockings, the first time in years. We had a really nice Thanksgiving together and Alissa was really excited about her new boyfriend and making the sweet potato thing with marshmallows on top. We did some local fair stuff together, simple fun at its best.
Two weeks ago today, my sister calls us sobbing at 3 in the morning, "Alissa's dead! The police just called, I'm leaving work now, she's dead in my apartment!" (My sister is an RN who works the night shift). We tell her to come here first so we can go with her.
Police detectives, kind neighbors, police tape around the apartment door, and finally our little mermaid in the bathtub, dead of an overdose. Accidental - she left a note saying she would take out the trash in the morning. Just tragic, stupid, awful, wasteful DAMN!
After the police left, I cleaned that bathroom with a vengeance - tub still full of water - Hep C + so gloves and bleach. Found a little packet of heroin (or fentanyl?) in with the cosmetics. Amazing - it just looks like freaking dust and it's killing all these people. Incomprehensible.
My poor sister is still dealing with all kinds of crappy fallout in addition to her grief. Expensive apartment complex and they haven't fixed the door that the police had to break down to get in, or the soaking wet carpeting.
I'm usually such an optimist, but I'm not feeling it now.
Thanks for letting me vent, SLF friends. I just couldn't post stuff about saving money on olives and building CD ladders without telling you all what was really going on in my world.

rosarugosa
12-30-16, 9:50pm
http://www.simplelivingforum.net/album.php?albumid=154&attachmentid=1674

CathyA
12-30-16, 10:32pm
Oh rosarugosa, I'm so very sorry! Such a tragedy and waste of life. She was a beautiful girl. I'm sorry for your pain. But take some solace in the fact that you and your sister made the life she had, better. You gave her love and kindness and support.
I wish I could say more to comfort you. I'm so very sorry. ((((hugs))))

danna
12-30-16, 10:55pm
Rosarugosa....all I can think of doing for you and your sister is sends hugs...I lived years with this with a niece (did not end this badly)
but, still could. It is never over with these stories! Drugs have always been there but this last couple of years are taking it to a whole
new level.....more hugs being sent to you all.

Kestra
12-30-16, 11:01pm
Oh, that's terrible. Good on you and your family for supporting her. I'm so sorry. It must be heart-wrenching. We (Canada) are hearing about so many Fentanyl deaths lately, it's seems so out of control and there's nothing most people can do. At least you and your sister were able to help and befriend her during her lifetime.

Reyes
12-30-16, 11:08pm
I'm so truly sorry for your loss.

iris lilies
12-30-16, 11:13pm
What a terrible thng for your family and Alissa'a daughter. I am so sorry.

Lainey
12-31-16, 10:50am
Very tragic. All of these needless deaths. At least your family gave her the experience of real love, and she didn't die in the street.

JaneV2.0
12-31-16, 10:55am
What a tragic ending--but at least your family can be confident that you gave Alissa every opportunity to escape the thrall of heroin and opiates. It's surely a modern scourge.

Mary B.
12-31-16, 11:05am
How devastating for you, for your sister, and for your whole family. I am so very sorry.

catherine
12-31-16, 11:18am
I am so very, very sorry, rosa.. There is nothing more tragic than the accidental overdose of a young person with a lot of promise. Last year, the nephew of a good friend of ours--with whom I had had a few really good conversations...really poised, gentle young man--went into NYC to meet friends. His parents were staying at my friend's house, as they were all planning on going to a family picnic the next day.

My son was at our friend's house, when his brother got a 212 call on his cell phone. "Oh! That must be ____ to tell me when to pick him at at the train station."

But it was the NYPD, calling to tell him that his son had died of a heroin OD in the hotel. Totally accidental--he had planned on attending the family picnic the next day. This kid was extremely talented and intelligent. So, so tragic.

So I empathize with you and I share your pain.. It's hard to make sense of it. I wish you and your sister peace in dealing with this loss.

razz
12-31-16, 11:29am
Truly tragic and heartbreaking for those who cared for those who made such a sad choice. Addiction is horrible. As others have said, your family gave the gifts of the heart which are priceless. You saw the delightful person she really was. Isn't her daughter blessed to have those of your family to remind her of who her beautiful mother really was as she copes with the loss?

Tybee
12-31-16, 11:35am
I am so sorry for our loss, Rosa. It is so hard, so senseless, when the young ones leave too soon.

ctg492
12-31-16, 1:05pm
Sorry

early morning
12-31-16, 1:32pm
so terribly. terribly sorry for your loss. sometimes, things just suck. I hope that you and your sister will be able to take solace in the knowledge that you provided a good life for her, that she loved, and was loved. Sometimes, that's all there is, and it is enough. I hope with all my heart that it will be.

Teacher Terry
12-31-16, 1:34pm
That is so very sad. I am so sorry for your loss. My BIL died the same way about 5 years ago while only 30 and my poor stepson who was only 19 found him. He did not realize he had been dead for awhile so tried to do CPR. It took him a long time to recover from that. My middle son has had a drug problem for years and is clean once again. I have lost count the # of times he has relapsed.

rosarugosa
12-31-16, 4:46pm
Thanks for all the kind words, and I extend my sympathies to those of you who have dealt with similar situations.
I did tell my sister that at least Alissa died in a warm, lovely place thanks to her.