Quality Time, Redefined

[mybodymyself]

Fashion & Style (http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/01/fashion/01FAMILY.html)
Quality Time, Redefined (http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/01/fashion/01FAMILY.html)
By ALEX WILLIAMS (http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/01/fashion/01FAMILY.html)
Published: April 29, 2011 (http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/01/fashion/01FAMILY.html)
The fully wired American living room often seems less like an oasis for shared activity than an entangled intersection of data traffic. But this might not be such a bad thing.
(http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/01/fashion/01FAMILY.html)

Wasn't really surprised with the findings of this article because I have seen this. Not just in my family, but with everyone. I'm all for this, but then I'm not. Can't really explain the why part of it.

[Zoebird]

Interesting article.

[Gardenarian]

I get enough screen time at work (where I am now :|(). The last thing I want to do at home is look at an LCD.

What came to my mind is all the other things these families could be doing together - like being outside, playing with the dog, making soup, building stuff, reading, LIFE!

[puglogic]

Ditto here. I would never, ever want a life like that. To me, even watching TV together isn't "quality time." It's just simultaneous diversion. Yeah, old school, I know...

It reminds of me this book, very sad and funny: http://www.forward.com/articles/129333/
I'm sick of the profusion of devices, honest I am. Nobody knows how to enjoy life without them any more. Well, rephrase: Nobody except the people here :)

[JaneV2.0]

Gol-dang telephones--nobody visits anymore!cow-hi

And technology marches on.:cool:

[puglogic]

Gol-dang telephones--nobody visits anymore!cow-hi

And technology marches on.:cool:

(smiling) You're right, of course. I've pretty much given up on the thought of not sounding like my Mom.

[JaneV2.0]

I mostly embrace the inevitable, from personal electronics to channeling my mother. Some things just aren't worth the fight.

[Fawn]

We are like this at my house sometimes. And I have to agree with the article interviewees, there is more natural closeness is the sharing of "Hey mom, look at this site" than sitting around and playing Clue.

We find plenty of time to do shared non-digital activities: this week there is a band concert and a movie premiere. Two of my kids spent hours, days, weeks working together with others to create the movie.

[catherine]

I remember writing a paper about this issue in college--in 1972! I wrote how my mother would smile happily and comment on how the whole family was together in the living room. But the truth was, we were there in body, but we were all glued to our (black and white) TV--not talking to each other at all--only to say, "Move your head! I can't see the screen!"

Same issues, thirty years later, more sophisticated technology, that's all.

[mybodymyself]

I remember writing a paper about this issue in college--in 1972! I wrote how my mother would smile happily and comment on how the whole family was together in the living room. But the truth was, we were there in body, but we were all glued to our (black and white) TV--not talking to each other at all--only to say, "Move your head! I can't see the screen!"

Same issues, thirty years later, more sophisticated technology, that's all.Catherine,

WOW to your response to my thread here and never thought of it that way back then.

[Tenngal]

since we have gotten wireless internet and hubbby & daughter have laptops, they've desserted me in the living room. Husband goes to his man cave with his laptop and daughter goes to her room. This was welcome relief at first and I enjoyed it, but now I realize I've got to do something. Homemade lasagna tonight will keep them here for awhile............

[jp1]

I agree with Catherine. When I was a kid back in the 70s the technology in our house was limited to two tv's. One (mom's) color one upstairs in the living room. The other (dad's) black and white, downstairs in the basement. Dad's only real tv interest was sports, so he was usually down there alone. (occasionally there was no good sports on and my sister or I would be down there watching somethign different from mom on "dad's" tv. But most nights sister and I'd be with mom in the living room watching tv and dad would come upstairs on commercial breaks to tell us about what had just happened in the game, even though we had no real interest. If we had been a 2011 family dad would probably be sitting in the same room as us, so it would save him the walk upstairs, but the end result would be no different, except that now my sister and I'd be watching/doing something that we were more interested in than whatever mom wanted to watch.

The bottom line is that some families will feel connected to each other despite (or because of) technology and some won't and will be miserable just as some families in the past were close and connected and some weren't and any efforts to get them to "do stuff" together merely felt contrived.

[Stella]

Interesting article! This article does describe us to some extent. (She types on the iPad while her kids watch a Veggie Tales on Netflix:) ) It reminds me of my childhood when we would sit around with books, newspapers and magazines occasionally commenting on this or that book or article. It started a lot of good conversations, actually.

My family spends a lot of time together. We eat breakfast and dinner around the table, screen free. We take family walks. We play cards together. We pray together. We cook together. The kids build with legos or blocks together and play dolls together. They play at the park together. Zach and I have regular date nights out of the house. We read dead tree books (love that phrase LC!) out loud to each other. We go on outings together. It doesn't bother me that we also spend time on our own, gathered in the living room, doing our own thing. I think anything can be used in an unbalanced way. Technology is the same.