Need quick advice...today!

[catherine]

.. nowhere else to go, and need advice quickly.

I've been seeing the light at the end of the tunnel work-wise, and was planning on driving my DD back up to VT (she had work in NYC this week) and then spending 2-3 days up in VT and doing some reconnaissance for future housing opportunities. Also, my son is a featured musician at a big annual music festival and he plays tomorrow at 2:00.

It's a nasty day here, so I'm even more committed to driving DD upstate for her own safety.

The monkey wrench is.. My grandson is being born today!!! :) My DIL went to the hospital today and expects the baby to be born in a few hours.

DH, my Vermont DD and my VT musician son are putting on the full court press for still going up to VT and "meeting" the baby early next week. My DIL is definitely the introvert type and doesn't like a lot of company. BUT what message does that send? (first of all, of COURSE I want to meet GS ASAP--this is just very bad timing).

I feel my new dad son would be really hurt if I chose to go to VT instead of meeting his new son this weekend. OTOH, my DD needs our help, and my musician son has already told his new girlfriend she gets to meet us this weekend, plus we get to see his show.

What would you do????

[Alan]

What a predicament! I'd stay home and send your husband to VT. That baby's only going to be born once.

[bae]

Grandson, no question.

[LDAHL]

Ask yourself this: which event is more likely to reoccur?

[creaker]

Mom comes first. What would your DIL think? I've seen both situations of "why didn't they come when I'm having a baby?" and "oh god, why did they have to come right when I'm having a baby?".

[catherine]

So my son is very good in the honesty department, and so is DIL. They gave me a pass and said it's no big deal. Doesn't make me feel any better, given I agree that babies are only born once. But at least if I DO go, I won't feel quite as guilty. Thinking of driving DD up, seeing son's show and then flying home tomorrow night.

If the baby isn't born yet, I know my DIL and I know she's not going to be into entertaining tonight. So that just leaves tomorrow as the Day in Question to meet GS. Tomorrow is also my MIL's birthday (she would have been 92), so I'm asking myself, what would she do, and what would I want her to do?

[JaneV2.0]

Good choice, IMO.

[iris lilies]

Man, my wiring is way off from ya'll. Why does it matter on what day she "meets" the baby? I see this more of a conflict between her chldren, son #1 and son #2 pulling for her attention. The grandchild will have no clue abput any of it.

But really, the first point of decision making is the pregnant mom, does she want people around or not.There is currently a thread on MMM about birth and unwelcome grandparents in the hospital.

Anyway, good job OP.

[razz]

So my son is very good in the honesty department, and so is DIL. They gave me a pass and said it's no big deal. Thinking of driving DD up, seeing son's show and then flying home tomorrow night.

If the baby isn't born yet, I know my DIL and I know she's not going to be into entertaining tonight. So that just leaves tomorrow as the Day in Question to meet GS. Tomorrow is also my MIL's birthday (she would have been 92), so I'm asking myself, what would she do, and what would I want her to do?

I would go with your plan. You can only stretch yourself so thin. This will happen more than once in your life so prepare to makes these types of decisions and tell the family of your struggle so that they each come away with a sense of being cherished.

[Chicken lady]

My DAD wasn't there when I was born. It has never been an issue. every time someone has brought it up, my dad says "I was planting trees that weekend. You would wait. The trees wouldn't." I've always thought he had a good point.

my mil waited a decent amount of time to visit when my two older kids were born. The youngest was two weeks late, so she was already there. I would have preferred more time to rest.

[catherine]

He's here!! 7lbs 5oz. Blond, blue eyes. Can't wait to see him!

So it stopped raining and DD is dying to get back up to VT for the music festival, so she left to drive on her own.

We're going to stop by at 5:50 this evening to meet DGS-dayone, and then fly up to Burlington tomorrow morning and see my other son's show. Then I won't feel that I have to rush back, but we'll come home Sunday night or Monday morning. Everyone's happy except my DD who has to drive 6 hours alone. This wasn't a very cost-effective choice (although I'll use airline miles), but it's the best one.

Thanks for your advice, everyone.

[herbgeek]

Congratulations Grandma! This is money well spent.

[razz]

Congratulations Grandma! This is money well spent.
+1

[rosarugosa]

Congratulations, Catherine! I would have gone to VT too, but sounds like GS decided for you!

[catherine]

Thanks, rosa!

I'm such a proud mother today. Between my new GS and my son's show, having these decisions to make are stressful, but in a very happy way. Here's the write-up (http://countytracks.com/2017/05/the-best-vermont-artists-at-waking-windows-and-in-general/) my son got from the local paper--his stage name is Cam Will. There's a spot where you can listen to the songs on his latest album.

[frugal-one]

Congrats!!!!

[bae]

Congratulations!

[CathyA]

Congratulations Catherine!

[ToomuchStuff]

Congratulations!

[corkym]

Wow! What a gift your son has, an incredible talent. Beautiful song. Congratulations on the newest addition to your wonderful family :)

[Tybee]

Wonderful news, on all fronts, and so glad about safe and happy arrival of new baby, and congratulations to both sons-- I vote a bottle of champagne to both!

[iris lilies]

Great news about your ynew grandson!

[ejchase]

If the new parents are good with it, let it go. Lots of new parents want a little space in the beginning. Take them at their word and don't let worrying about it interfere with your enjoyment of being with your other kids.

And congratulations!

[saguaro]

Congrats on the new grandson.

[JaneV2.0]

I'm glad that worked out all around!